Going to the Islands and Being a Beast – 2
The warm atmosphere and pounding heart quickly cooled. The baby, who had been smiling, looked at me harder than ever.
I was confused. Why? Why is the baby making such a face? I’m sure it was good until now, but I didn’t say anything strange.
“Your Excellency.”
As I was unable to answer in embarrassment, Aga opened her mouth again.
A low voice. But her eyes were burning hotly. As if there would be no next unless you properly explain what you just said.
“Tell me. I live hundreds of years.”
This time, fear came over me. I don’t know why Aga is doing this, but he’s obviously upset. It’s not a momentary annoyance or resentment, but genuine anger.
“Potion.”
I barely opened my trembling lips and uttered a single word.
Of course, this is not a sufficient explanation. It’s just words I spit out to organize my thoughts for a while. If I hadn’t even said this and kept her mouth shut, Aga would have turned her back immediately.
And after hearing my words, the baby lay down on the sofa again. Thank god. I immediately stopped going back.
“Do you remember the potion you gave to your baby?”
“Yes, I remember.”
“That potion increases life span.”
Aga’s expression distorted.
“All, it doesn’t work right away, it takes 40 years of steady intake to get the effect. Right now, it’s just a health benefit.”
As I added it instinctively, the distorted expression calmed down a bit.
It was only after I saw that that I realized. That the baby is reluctant to extend his lifespan. She simply knows that she genuinely hates the unknown, not out of awkwardness.
‘Why?’
I don’t understand. Longer lifespan, obtaining a lifespan equal to that of a long-lived species, has been the aspiration of all humans.
My father also said he wanted to live the same life as my mother and me. Her mother also poured her life into making his father a long-lived servant.
It’s not just parents. Because they are lovers with different life spans, they are not obsessed with life spans.
‘Definitely, definitely everything.’
The people I’ve seen while living for over 100 years. All the humans I saw longed for a long life. The previous emperors, the previous emperors, and countless nobles who were not emperors. Even priests who claim to follow God’s will.
When they saw me, they would express subtle envy. As death drew closer, he looked at me with anxious eyes.
I have a lot of things to enjoy, so I have a strong obsession with life. I wanted to enjoy the movie now because I wasn’t sure what would happen when this life was over.
‘Everything, I did…’
Even ordinary commoners, not royalty or nobles, were the same. The common people who lacked possessions, and the people of the class who probably had more despair than happiness wanted longevity.
Because I am afraid of death. Because I am afraid to face the unknown in this world that I have taken for granted.
‘Of course, even if it’s a baby…’
There is nothing lacking in a child. Wealth, honor, power, even personal power. So, of course, I thought I would want a long life. Aren’t there many things you can enjoy in this world?
I thought you would be happy if you lived with me for hundreds of years. We live for hundreds of years, enjoying the movies we enjoy now, no, the movies that will be even more splendid than now. I thought he would like it because he is human too.
It must be unfamiliar. It will be embarrassing too. Suddenly, lifespan has more than doubled, but no one can be carefree.
But, still, I thought you’d like it in the end.
“Your Excellency.”
The baby, who was silent for a while, opened her mouth again.
“Why did you do that?”
A short word. However, Aga’s emotions were concentrated in that one word.
With restraint and restraint, there are many things I want to say, but I feel that I have held back.
“Even a child will want longevity—”
“Why?”
I was cut off before I could even finish talking. A situation I’ve never experienced before. A situation that would never have been experienced as a duke.
Of course, I am not angry because I want to be seen as a woman rather than a duke. Rather, I am glad that my baby sees me not as a duke, but as Beatrix.
Still, I didn’t want the current situation. I didn’t want her to be so angry that she forgot I was a duke.
“Why did His Excellency judge that?”
My hands started shaking before I knew it. Her hair went white and she couldn’t find the right answer.
This was done with the thought that Aga would naturally want and like longevity. But Aga refuses to live long life? Then what can i say
“…Don’t you know, Your Excellency?”
Aga looked at me like that and said in a slightly softened voice.
“You know I had a hard time sending them off first, don’t you?”
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No, rather than softening, it was more like a depressed voice.
And at the baby’s voice, my gaze went down little by little.
I know. There is no way you don’t know Right after the Great Subjugation War, Aga was well aware of how painful it was.
‘Because it was the first time I saw it.’
The first time I met Aga was right after the war ended. She was only interested because she said that she had a child with abnormal resilience, and that she was the only child who survived after defeating the Reverse Puncturer.
But the more she met for the purpose of experiment, the more she learned about her baby. A child who lost a precious relationship at a young age, a child who was like me who lost his parents in the past.
‘It was different from me.’
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Nevertheless, Aga quietly moved on. He struggled to suppress the pain and tried to move on casually. Unlike me, who lost my parents and wandered around, unable to find my way.
I was even prepared to send my human father first. Even so, I was so confused, but the baby who was not ready for anything was holding on alone.
It was from then. Seeing Aga as a person, not a test subject, and glancing at her one more time for no reason. What I have built up love alone.
‘That’s why it was like that.’
I came to have a baby in my heart. So I wanted to make my baby happy. I wanted to live forever with my happy baby.
I wanted to share my affection to the extent that the pain of leaving a precious relationship became just a passing memory. And I wanted to postpone it to the distant future so that my baby would not experience the fear of death.
The sadness of leaving a relationship comes with the fear that one day you will die too. The sudden death of others gives a warning that one can die in vain.
‘So, it was…’
It’s because I know the pain of the baby, but my choice has become a useless interference for the baby.
“Your Excellency.”
“Ugh, yes. Tell me.”
I hurriedly listened to the child’s voice and looked down.
And as soon as he saw the baby’s face, his body stiffened.
“Are you going to make me go through that pain again?”
An expressionless expression, or an expression as if crying. A strange word. How could I see you crying with an expressionless face?
“If I live hundreds of years, how much more do I have to lose?”
But the baby was clearly crying. She didn’t show any tears, but her expression didn’t distort, but she was clearly crying.
“…From your Excellency’s point of view, it may just be a passing moment, but to me, there are many ties to be with in life.”
My hair turned white in a different way from before.
“How many times do I have to lose those ties?”
She said nothing to Aga, who looked at her resentfully.
Why, why didn’t I think of something so simple? No matter how long a child’s lifespan increases, in the end, being human doesn’t change.
To me, all ties except for my parents were just passing ties. No matter how long a person lived, it was only a fraction of my lifespan.
Except for parents who are no longer there, and with the exception of a beloved baby, all ties are just ties to be forgotten.
‘It wouldn’t be for my baby.’
I was stupid. I only thought of my baby through my eyes. From Aga’s point of view, I thought that people who were meant to be lifelong were just fleeting moments.
When a child’s lifespan increases, a lifelong relationship does not turn into a fleeting relationship. The fate that you thought you would be together for the rest of your life is leaving faster than you, too quickly.
“…Excuse me, sir. Please forgive my rudeness.”
As I stared blankly at the baby with a belated sense of shame, the baby got up from her seat and bowed her head.
“If Your Excellency said so, then he must have a meaning. I dared to question Your Excellency.”
A statement that is polite and clear enough to draw the line.
I remembered laughing and talking with my baby just a few minutes ago. Tears seemed to come out of the gap that gave me goosebumps.
“Oh, baby. I, I…”
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No. You shouldn’t end the conversation like this.
With my ignorance, with my stubbornness, I hurt my baby. I need to apologize, I need to apologize right now…
“From now on, I will not dare to show my face to Your Excellency.”
At that, the hand that had been reaching out to the baby stopped.
Aga glanced at me and left the tower room without regret.
Of course you have to catch it. I had to beg for forgiveness because I was wrong, and I won’t do that in the future.
But his body didn’t move. She was unable to move as the excessive shocks came one after another.
“I will not dare to show my face to Your Excellency from now on.”
You are saying that you will take responsibility for the rudeness, but in reality you do not want to see my face again.
Above all, terrible and fearful words kept ringing in my ears. The happiness from before had collapsed like a lie.
And now, when happiness turns to despair, I see a comb on the table. Clean pure white, luxurious design.
“It may be of no use to Your Excellency, but it is my lack of sincerity. Please do not hesitate. This is not a big deal between us.”
‘No.’
I hurriedly grabbed the comb with trembling hands. It seemed that even this gift would leave me if I didn’t grab it right away.
‘No…’
Then tears flowed. The first gift I received from my baby, a treasure I couldn’t get even if I sold the duchy.
But it turned out to be the last gift. The treasure that should have been the most precious thing has become a monstrosity that symbolizes the catastrophe of me and my baby.
“No!”
A scream broke out.
It shouldn’t end like this. Even if my baby doesn’t forgive me, even if he resents me for the rest of my life, I have to apologize. Even if you remain terribly selfish to your baby, at least you should remain a knowing existence.
So I ran. He had never fought for the face of a princess or a duke, but now that kind of face is rubbish.
“Get on, tower lord!”
“No, what the hell—”
The more I ran, the more I went downstairs, the more I heard a voice filled with astonishment.
It doesn’t matter. My authority is useless.
‘Baby.’
As I ran, I struggled to locate my baby. If you find the mana that Aga has, you can fly right away by teleport.
But it wasn’t easy. Magic is a technique that is greatly influenced by the user’s image. I’m confused and can’t come to my senses, can I be fine with magic?
‘Baby…!’
So I just ran.
Because I have no face, authority, or magic left, so that’s all I can do.