Confession (3)
It felt fresh.
I’ve never watched a child grow like this, so even more so.
To think that a child who couldn’t even control his own body was already crawling was something to live for a very long time.
“cadet.”
The child was crawling towards me little by little, muttering what he wanted to say with a mouth that couldn’t even speak the proper language.
I had no intention of extending my hand.
I don’t know if I almost got hurt, but I don’t know why I have to help out with these things one by one.
But since you’re a future hero, you should take care of this.
Little by little, the child approached me and soon grabbed my pants with her small hands and looked up at me with a smile.
“Is it good?”
“lol.”
“Yes, I like you a lot. You won’t be laughing like that later.”
I said that for no reason and leaned down to lift the child up.
The child’s body, which emerged with arms and legs stretched out, clearly felt a sense of weight compared to before. It was proof that I was eating well, sleeping well, and packing well.
How big will it be in the future?
“If you grow up quickly, I will be comfortable. If it’s possible, I’d like to hand over the holy sword and send it to you right now.”
“Kyaha.”
Despite the murmuring mixed with complaints, the child just smiled happily.
I really don’t know children.
Even though I lived that many lives, I felt a new experience every time I had forgotten because I had never raised it.
It was this child who added vitality to his lethargic life.
But still, I just wanted this child to end my long, tedious life.
He lowered the child he was still holding and placed it roughly on my lap, then immediately stretched out his small hand toward me.
“Aww, Abba.”
Are you trying to say daddy?
I gently put my face forward at the touch, and when my hand touched the cheek, the child folded his arms in surprise.
Then he reached out again and groped my cheek, and continued to move both hands busily while smiling brightly like yes.
I quietly let go of that hand.
really… … The child did not know.
I couldn’t just stay like this, but I finished everything I had to do today, and I didn’t have anything else to do.
In the end, it would be just holding the child and complaining as usual.
“It’s definitely grown a lot, but it’s still a long way off. So, at what age do you want to become a hero?”
“Bar.”
“no? I can’t help it even if I don’t like it. that’s your destiny So you can do it even if you don’t like it. If you stray, I will catch you and bring you back.”
“right… … .”
There was no way a child who couldn’t speak yet could understand, so I brushed off my feelings very comfortably.
In fact, it was something I stopped doing a long time ago.
Even if you share your inner feelings for a little bit, as time passes, you will go back to the days you didn’t know. What do you mean by sharing exchanges with others?
“Then quickly kill the Dark Lord. That’s why I picked it up like this and I’m doing childcare that I can’t even sell. Otherwise, there is no reason for me to raise you.”
At my words, the child stared at me with incomprehensible eyes.
I don’t give you anything for looking at it like that.
How much have you seen each other for such a long time? The child suddenly burst out laughing.
“Yes, what do you know?”
“Kyahahahaha.”
Saying that, I lifted it up a couple of times and put it down repeatedly, and the child burst into laughter once more.
I want what is so good.
When can I become a hero with this? Although it seems like he is growing up quickly, he is still far from doing his part.
If I had grown up even a little bit, I would have provided support for the future, but now that I am barely crawling, I can’t do anything.
Elixir to increase physical ability is hard to find now… … .
There was nothing I couldn’t find if I wanted to save it, but I couldn’t leave the child alone, nor could I take him with me.
No, wait.
“They say trials are essential for heroes.”
in any heroic tale.
Even in the original story of the hero of light, it was standard for the hero to go through trials and overcome them to become stronger.
If so, wouldn’t it make a child stronger if he deliberately puts him through trials?
I heard that ogres deliberately push their babies off cliffs.
“Are you going to throw it away?”
I put a thought in my mouth.
In the first place, raising a child who couldn’t control her own body wasn’t right for me.
I thought this was the last time, but if I don’t get it right, I have to go back to that day again.
Wouldn’t it be better to leave it to the master of parenting?
I had the belief that this world would change just by saving this child anyway. It would be comfortable for me as well as for him if I often visit him and give him support.
In addition, I thought about sending it out when I thought I was strong enough. It was because the ultimate goal was to defeat the Dark Lord using this child.
If that’s the case, wouldn’t it be okay with the thought of sending it out a little earlier anyway?
“… … what’s the matter?”
After worrying alone, I looked back and saw that the child was looking at me with a sullen expression.
It was a face that seemed to be dissatisfied with something, no, it looked like it was angry.
As I looked at him with an expression I hadn’t seen before, he immediately opened his mouth and waved his arms.
“Abuu!”
His voice was booming, as if there was something he definitely didn’t like.
I still don’t know what you’re talking about though.
If you have complaints, you should listen. I pulled him closer and held him lightly in my arms.
“what’s the problem? Let’s see… … .”
I checked the diaper just in case, but it was still dry. I don’t think it’s hurt or anything like that.
Also, the child does not know at all.
“Are you hungry?”
“Oooh.”
Yes, it’s been a while since I ate it, but I don’t have any goplies again.
Then there is no other cause… … In the end, I think it’s because of what I said.
No, it can’t be.
I laughed and let go of my useless thoughts.
A child who couldn’t even speak yet, a child who didn’t even know what I was saying.
Yeah, it could never have been.
“Are you afraid I’ll leave you? After all, you and I are strangers, are you sad about that?”
“Oooh.”
“I wish I could have saved her life when she almost died and raised her until now. I am also a person with a lot of work to do. I can’t wait until you become a hero.”
“Ah.”
what the hell is this doing now
It may not have been a word he could not understand, but he told the child every word.
If someone saw it, they would ask why the hell did you say such a thing to a child?
Anyway, I only brought this child to raise as a hero, and I was definitely aware that he was a man.
Even if it sounds heartless, I don’t carelessly give affection to others.
“Then stay as a good child so that those words don’t come out of my mouth. If you’re a hero, you should be. Help people in need, defeat monsters, clear dungeons, and make strong friends.”
He was speaking without much thought, but the child suddenly closed his mouth and listened intently.
What do you know?
He smiled and patted the child’s head lightly, adding a few words.
“Because I have protected you until now… … next time you protect me Please help me live a normal life and die. I don’t expect much from you. If you do that, I will raise you, protect you, and support you.”
I said what I wanted seriously, but I ended up laughing.
I don’t even know what it means, but what does it mean by saying this?
Besides, after growing up a bit, I would forget everything about being a baby.
“Eww, what are you really doing?”
Muttering such words out of embarrassment, he put his hands on both armpits of the child he was holding and lifted them up.
“Kyahahahaha!”
A child who burst into laughter as soon as his vision increased.
Yes, if you’re a child, it’s better to just like a child.
“Grow only healthy.”
First of all, it was a problem for this child to become an adult safely.
I was frustrated, so I said it, but in the end, it would be my job to take care of the child until he can take care of himself.
Thinking about the roles of fathers in the future is already giving me headaches.
also… … Jeong won’t give.
* * *
“Huh… … ?!”
It was a terrible nightmare.
No, it was so terrible that it is not enough to describe it as terrible.
It is clearly a memory of the past.
It happened not too far away, right now in this life.
I had forgotten until now.
No, I just wanted to bury it.
I tried to dismiss it as an old thing, saying that then and now are different.
… … .
The terrible thing… … It was me.
“sh*t.”
He chewed and swallowed the swear words coming out of his lips, trying to calm himself as much as possible.
ok, let’s relax
After I managed to calm myself down, I looked around and saw that it was on the bed in my room.
Dawn that has not yet dawned.
My top was drenched, as if I had been sweating a while ago.
It was the worst morning ever.
No, more… … .
“What happened?”
I had no memory.
Obviously, after talking with Rize in my room… … .
‘I remember everything.’
From noble mtl dot com
At that moment, I forcibly suppressed the rising nausea.
“Ugh?!”
But I couldn’t stand it, and in the end I vomited.
He had clearly revealed the truth to Rize.
About my mother, about me.
Rize was also aware of those facts, and still accepted me as her father.
But what followed… … It was unbearable for me.
Rize remembered everything.
The fact that Angelina died that day, the fact that I picked up Rize, everything that happened from then on.
That said, I also remembered the words I said to Rize when I wasn’t yet positioned as Rize’s father.
The words I said back then, when I only thought of recognizing Rize as a tool to cut off the return and only making him a hero to fight the Dark Lord… … If you think about it, it was really cruel.
“What the hell did I do… … !”
I couldn’t even imagine.
I didn’t put that much meaning into it.
I just thought I wouldn’t understand the language yet, and I thought I’d definitely forget it when I grew up.
But no.
Rize must clearly remember the irresponsible, cruel, and trashy words that came out of my mouth.
Furthermore, he did not know what effect those words might have had on Rize.
If it really had a bad influence on Rize… … How should I apologize?
It felt like my heart would break at any moment.
now… … I wasn’t even sure if I had the right to be by Rize’s side.
He was such a bad father.
He was such a terrible father.
What kind of verbal abuse did you say to my daughter who was only looking at me?
“I can’t even make excuses.”
Yes, no matter how much it was in the past, it was inexcusable.
You have to take responsibility.
It was my clear fault, so I had to take responsibility.
but… … how?
Even if he acted as Rize’s father like now, could that be an apology?
Maybe it’s just self-satisfaction.
… … .
No, I will not be able to apologize in any way.
The fact that my words must have hurt Rize in some way was a fact that would not change no matter what anyone said.
Especially if Rize gets older and truly becomes a hero.
smart.
At that moment, I heard a knock in the room and I didn’t even answer.
I was afraid.
It seemed that Rize would come running at any moment to reprimand me for what I said.
Then what the hell can I say?
what am i… … With what face did you see Rize?
“You are awake.”
Before I knew it, Irina opened the door and entered.
The fact that I wasn’t Rize made me even a little relieved, and I hated myself even more.
Even though I bowed my head, Irina strode towards me as if she didn’t mind.
“You passed out last night. The lady cried and asked for help. It was unsightly.”
“… … Yeah, it’s ugly.”
Feeling self-help, I smiled and suddenly thought of it and asked Irina.
“Did you know?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Rize… … I remember everything, even from my very childhood.”
“… … It was hard for me to believe too.”
As expected, Irina didn’t know exactly what that word meant.
I shook my head and let out a word mixed with a laugh.
“It doesn’t matter if you believe or not. You probably don’t know what the hell I said to Rize in the past. No, he might try to kill me after he finds out.”
Irina would definitely do that.
No, even if it’s me, I want to beat the past me to death.
However, Irina stayed silent for a while and then opened her mouth in a calm tone.
“No matter what Irvin said in the past, there is no going back now.”
“… … Yes, it is.”
Irina, who stabbed the painful part, grabbed my shoulder and raised her head, forcing me to look into her eyes.
With eyes as if they were holding fire, Irina said firmly.
“But now, lady, Irvin is absolutely necessary.”
“… … .”
What should I say?
It was that moment when I was still with surprised eyes for a while.
“aaagh! Daddy!”
“Rizeya!”