Episode 193 – I was my parents’ stain 5
Time flew by, and he began to get used to the disgusting black magic.
The body of a child changed into a body between an adult and a boy before he knew it, and he accumulated experience in battles that were inexperienced, and now he was able to build a major that he could be proud of. Of course, we, the warlock unit, were not officially recognized for their existence. It was a secret unit that only a few knew about. Even if we die in battle, it will be treated as an accidental death, and we will not be buried in the graves of those who died.
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No matter what achievements you make, the emperor secretly sends you a reward, and you won’t get any title or honor. I’m fine though. Because I’m worthless anyway.
“Hey boss, what are you thinking about?”
“Ah… Brother Neil.”
Due to my status, I had no choice but to serve as the commander of this unit. Of course, I asked Neil, who had been captain for a long time, if he was okay, but he rather laughed and said this.
[You are saying something childish. Is our relationship going to be a problem just because of rank? What if I’m not the captain, what if you’re the captain? Your wish is our wish, our voice is your voice. It doesn’t matter who is in charge of the head.]
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Neil, no, our unit was the only resting place I could lean on. Now my sister, Rachel, was loathing me. Every time he looked at me, he gave me a cold gaze like looking at trash. It didn’t matter. As long as the child is unharmed.
But even for the sake of those children, I dragged my comrades to death. They were driven to use black magic that cuts lifespan on the battlefield, where you don’t know when you’ll die every day.
“Remember, Damian. If your family is the highest priority in your life, then you are the highest priority in our lives. Whether it’s a lifespan or a soul, they are not worth as much as dog poop compared to you.”
“But I dragged my brothers and sisters and even Elina into this limb.”
“Sounds funny. We’re not fools, and a kid younger than us must have obeyed the order out of fear. We made a deal with the devil at our own will. For you and for our hometown.”
I hated it. My self, this reality, my parents who left me with a heavy burden. I just couldn’t stand it because I hated everything.
“So how far did you go with Elina?”
“Brother, what kind of dog eating grass is that?”
“You guys are dating. This older brother saw the two of you going out together a while ago.”
“It’s just that idiot got lost and found him. We’re not dating, we’re just close friends.”
“Ohhh~ Everyone says that at first.”
“Neil, do you know what it feels like to be stabbed in the stomach with a spear?”
I was happy even though I knew I wouldn’t live long. Even if my life was short, I thought I could be happy with these people. Unlike my parents, who were like liars who broke their promise to me and left, I felt like they would always stay by my side.
“Can you promise me one thing, brother?”
“So what?”
“Brothers and sisters, don’t leave me.”
“Suddenly what…”
“Don’t leave suddenly like my parents did.”
“…Yes, I promise. Where will we go without a younger brother like you? With a younger brother like you, even if I die, I will not be able to die.”
I might have laughed a little bit then.
—–
Entering the audience room, I knelt down and had an audience with His Majesty as usual.
“Damian, head of the Alton family, I see you with a humble body.”
“Don’t be formal. Your father and I were usually special.”
“Because it is overflowing grace that a warlock who would not be surprised if his head was cut off is allowed to live.”
“I’m 15 years old… I always feel that, as the teacher said, I grew up too early.”
I was a little surprised to hear that my father had spoken to His Majesty about me.
“I’ve always heard of your major, and it’s always surprising. Last time you conquered a city, right? Of course, as you know, I can’t publish the fact that I made a warlock unit, so another unit took the credit… I’ll pay them a decent fee.”
In fact, it was surprising that I could even get money. Of course, my younger siblings would know it was the money I earned through gambling and other dirty means. It was an inevitable measure to hide the source of the funds.
“…I’m sorry for you, but this time I want to entrust you with the restoration of the north. It’s also the hometown of Glaceon-sama, one of your father’s wives… It’s a land that has important meaning in many ways.”
“No problem. If Your Majesty tells me to die, I die, and if I tell you to kill, I just kill you.”
“… Damian.”
“Your Majesty.”
“I say this not as an emperor, but as your father’s student and sworn brother, and as your close uncle.”
His Majesty the Emperor spoke to me with serious eyes.
“Your father and mother were proud of you and loved you very much. And you must be very proud of you now.”
“… I am the stain on Lady Werner and Lady Lorsha. If they saw someone who made a deal with the devil, killed a relative, abandoned her sister and went out, they would have shed tears.”
“You’re going to shed tears. I’m sure you’re going to shed tears because you’re sorry for seeing your current condition.”
“There is no way you would cry for a sinner like me.”
“Damian.”
His Majesty the Emperor bit his lower lip and, after a moment of silence, spoke.
“… It’s okay if this empire perishes. If my benefactor’s son bears all the heavy burdens of a country that can only become whole, then it will perish. Find your happiness. If the teacher sees you now…”
“I’ll pretend I haven’t heard of that, Your Majesty. Please don’t weigh this country against a worthless person like me.”
“Damian…”
I left the audience room with His Majesty behind me.
—–
Even when the northern wind clawed her cheek, she didn’t feel any pain. That my father and mother would feel bad when they saw me? would you be proud of me? I am the stain on my parents. I am a sinner not worth worrying about or proud of.
“… Hey boss, are you really okay? You don’t look good.”
“Oh Neil… I’m fine. I have to work. I’m here for that.”
I was confused inside, but I had to work.
“As I heard, there seems to be a famous illusionist among the summoning entities that have occupied the north. They say that they seduce the enemy with illusionism to induce gaps, and then pierce their heads with powerful magic.”
Elina tried to laugh it off by slapping Neil on the back.
“Ah~ There’s no way we could fall for such a low-level prank.”
So we headed deeper into it. Most of the enemies were not my opponents who trained in black magic. The rest of the unit, though not as good as me, had some skills, so I was able to deal with the babbling with ease.
The sound of stepping on the snow stimulated my ears. As I concentrated on the sound, I fell off without realizing it. I was left alone in the pure white snow. It was all because of the confusion in my heart because of His Majesty’s words.
“… Nam’s snow is falling well.”
Come to think of it, my mother and I once made a snowman. The memory of crying a lot because my mother was greedy and the snowman was destroyed came to mind. My mother caught me crying and didn’t know what to do…
It was then.
“”Damian.””
I heard the voices of my mother and father. Even though they can’t be here.
“Finally found. I had a hard time faking death and looking for you.”
“My son has grown up wonderfully. Now let’s forget all the complicated things and let’s live happily together.”
This was a lie. It must be the phantom magician summoner that Neil hyung-sama is talking about. I had to hurry up and hit back. Quickly take out Enoch and use black magic…
“My son has been through a lot of hardships up until now? You’ve worked hard. Jang Hae-ra.”
At that, my hand stopped. It was something I always wanted to hear. Hot tears streamed down and melted his frozen cheeks.
“mother…”
“Yes, my son, Damian. My lovely son. Come on, I’ll give you a hug.”
It is false. It is false. It is false.
But it was so sweet and warm.
I wished it was true… I thought it was the truth.
“Mother… mother… mother… mother…”
My reason was paralyzed, and my legs defied my judgment and moved toward my parents.
“Damian is dangerous!”
And at that moment, Captain Neil ran towards me and embraced me. Since I was far away from holding the magic book, I couldn’t even use black magic, and I received the magic fired by the summoning bodies with my bare body.
Of course, the appearances of the parents were all phantom magic. It was a terribly incongruous welcome.
Brother Neil said to me while bleeding profusely. It was clear from the trembling voice and deep wounds that he was about to die.
“Are you not hurt…?”
Even as he was dying because of me, he cared about me.
“thank god…”
Also, someone died because I was looking for love. Because I, like trash, longed for love, another innocent person lost his life.
“Don’t be sad… my older brother said it. Life is a repetition of priorities… I’ve kept priorities over my own life. So don’t beat yourself up…”
The day I lost brother Neil, who always stayed by my side silently, was the day before my 16th birthday.