126 – Confinement
As a child, I was always unhappy.
My mother tried to hit me whenever I saw the number of cases. My father hated me more than my mother.
All my friends around me bullied me, and the teacher thought me pathetically and ignored me.
People’s ignorance, ignorance, and contempt were difficult and difficult for me to endure as a child.
…If it hadn’t been for Yoo Seon. What would have happened to me…?
If I had to say the greatest luck in my life, I could confidently say that I entered the same elementary school as Yoo Seon-i and became friends with him. Yoo Seon-i was the kind of child who could assert herself without paying attention to others.
So when I was being bullied by bad friends, I ran to the bullying kids and scolded them. I’ve never been able to build memories like this with anyone else in my life.
To others, daily life is repeated.
It could have been a boring routine that made me sick of it.
To me, everything I did with Yoo Seon-i was priceless and precious happiness.
Continued…. I hope that these pleasant days will continue to repeat in the future.
I always made a wish in my heart looking at the stars floating in the night sky.
However, I couldn’t accept that every night the things I longed for were in vain, and all the happiness I had enjoyed so far disappeared.
I hate this black darkness of being alone, and I was afraid of this emptiness with no one beside me.
The childhood nightmares that I don’t want to remember are starting to eat away at me little by little, and I was afraid that there was nothing in the world that could save me anymore.
Please… Get me out of here.
…I desperately called for Yoo Seon in the pitch-black darkness… But there was no Yoo Seon.
Because I ruined everything.
Memories that will never be forgotten no matter how many years pass.
It didn’t weather and disappear, and as time passed, the memories of those days became more brutal and terribly vivid, so I suffered from nightmares every day.
Dream.
I do things that Yoo Sun dislikes, and do more cruel and terrible things after seeing the reaction.
Yoo Seon is in pain, and in my dream, I do more cruel things to Yoo Seon, but I couldn’t control my own body.
I used to have nightmares where I couldn’t do anything except helplessly watch my actions.
One sad fact is that everything I did in my nightmare was actually based on what I did to Yoo Seon.
Poke yourself with a fork, burn precious gifts from friends, alienate people around you, incite bullying, bully with force, threaten with power.
…If you think about it, Yoo Seon has never acted like that to me, but I did it to Yoo Seon without hesitation.
From noble mtl dot com
Obviously, I was thinking of repaying everything I received from Yu Seon if I became very successful one day.
Instead of giving back the happiness he had received in excess, he inflicted indelible wounds on the good heart of Yoo Seon-yi.
I am a selfish woman.
Rather than reflecting on the evil things I’ve done to Yoo Seon-i so far, I think that this moment with Yoo Seon-i is happy and precious…
I took away Yu Seon’s freedom again, but I didn’t feel the slightest bit of guilt…
When I first found Yoo Seon here, I never asked for anything like this.
I was full of resentment toward the Mirae Group security team for taking care of things against my will, disappointment in my grandfather, and sorry for Yoo Seon.
However, the more I feel Yoo Seon, who is leaning on my shoulder like a baby, leaning on my shoulder like a baby, I apply ointment to the wounds while protecting Yoo Seon who is sick. Where did the sorry feelings I felt for the first time go, and happiness was being repainted in the place where sadness and sorry had been.
I like that Yoo Seon needs me.
Eating together while having a meal together while chatting is fun, walking around and walking around the house feels happy… I realized that it was too late to turn things around.
I feel sorry for Seon Yoo, and I am scared and hate being hated by Seon Yoo. So, I will send it to you with the desire to rectify the current situation. I said that, but… I don’t want to do that now.
…I’m trash.
Yoo Seon has a good girlfriend and a place to go back to.
I have no place to go back to.
But now I got what I wanted.
I didn’t have the desire to leave the country with no place to return to.
…In the past, thinking of Yoo Seon gave me pain, and all I could remember was tormenting me. She stopped thinking about it.
Nowadays, playing house together, playing hide-and-seek, reading comic books and playing games… All I can think of is the happy old days that couldn’t be changed even for a thousand dollars. I even had the illusion that the whole world had turned into sweet and fluffy cotton candy.
….Even Yoo Seon, who showed strong caution while looking at me, at some point softened up and softened… Maybe if we had a normal relationship, wouldn’t we have lived a life like this…?
And it seemed like I wasn’t the only one feeling this way.
Yoo Seon seemed confused.
Just like I was reminded of her childhood memories, Yu Seon seemed to be reminded of her childhood memories. Sometimes… He looks at me with a soft expression, and he starts to panic. – Is this really true?
When you see Yoo Seon-i’s conflicted expression.
…Maybe I still have a chance..?
The more I see that the string of ties that I thought was cut until now remains, and the thickness of the string gets thicker as time goes by.
I came up with a lot of thoughts.
Perhaps, I can stay by Yu Seon’s side just like that child. Wouldn’t it be possible to shake off the grudges of the past and enter into a new relationship..?
If we continue to spend our time here, won’t Yoo Seon-i’s frozen heart melt again?
Eat, sleep, and wash together. I like being together all day long, soaking in Yu Seon’s body odor and dyeing my whole body in Yoo Seon’s color.
In a paradise where no one can touch us, whispering love, feeling the heartbeat, and melting each other’s hearts with each other’s body heat… I thought.
…That didn’t happen.
Yu Seon didn’t need me after his body recovered.
After I started to walk alone without the help of others, I tried to stay away from myself.
I shook my hand and staggered to stand up on my own, and even if side dishes or rice fell on my clothes, I never asked for food.
…I spend time alone in the study or on the sofa, everything is fine… Really, I’m fine… I tried to open the front door and go outside… It hurt a little bit.
As soon as she saw Yoo Seon-i like that, she felt like waking up from her happy dream.
The happiness I am feeling right now is a lie.
Recalling the precious memories we’ve built up in our childhood, eating delicious meals together, spending time sitting on the sofa, and sleeping in the same bed will all be over in a little while. It didn’t matter if I touched the front door because I really wanted to go out, or if it was just out of curiosity. …
After that day, Yoo Seon’s gaze at me became strange.
When she was doing something like that, she suddenly stared into the distant sky with sad eyes, or her talking stopped drastically, as if her mouth was zipped up. I thought I knew what Yoo Seon was thinking. Is this correct? Can she really live like this..?
I can see her worrying alone and struggling in her head…
Right now, he ate the food I brought with him, but now it’s amazing that he’s trying to make it himself.
I eat food cooked by others every day, but Yoo Seon can cook. It smelled full of delicious smells.
The process of adding fresh ingredients, stir-frying, and roasting was a different sight for me. So I wanted to watch it from the side.
Since I came to this house, our relationship has improved a lot, so I don’t say anything just by sticking close like this.
Sneaking up to Yoo Seon-yi while he is cooking, so as not to disturb him, what kind of food is he cooking?
Me too… Can I eat too? Because I’m curious. So I just wanted to keep an eye on it.
-Quadang.
Yoo Seon pushed me with one of his arms.
Maybe you didn’t see me next to you..? I’d rather think so, but it wasn’t. Yoo Seon did that on purpose.
It reminded me of bad memories from my childhood.
Once upon a time, I wanted to pamper my father.
I jumped at it with a whimper, but I ended up hitting my butt on the cold floor.
I wanted to sit on my dad’s and mom’s laps, do cute things, read fairy tales together, and take a nap in their arms, but… I couldn’t.
Remembering the bad things of those days must be because the current situation is not much different from that time, so it must be that you are thinking about the things back then..?
I couldn’t do anything when I saw the expression of a hedgehog that was wary of me and even afraid.
So I dragged my sick body into the room and cried.
Negative thoughts arise randomly.
…Couldn’t it be that I was alone and happy while I was in this house?
I thought I had helped Yoo Seon and repaid his kindness…
Maybe Yoo Seon didn’t like me clinging to her while she couldn’t move?
…So maybe that’s why he keeps away from me as soon as his body recovers…?