I’m not alone, we’ll be happy together
The day after the incident with Kotone, I had lunch with Ayana and then went up to the rooftop. In a regular high school, the door leading to the rooftop might usually be locked, but at this school, the rooftop is generally open for anyone to visit. It might be nice to eat lunch with Ayana up here while enjoying the view.
“……………”
Leaning against the railing in a relaxed position, I found myself reflecting on yesterday’s events.
The words Kotone had conveyed, wishing I had died, had stung. At that moment, I had been so hurt and angry that I almost let myself succumb to rage, but Ayana had stepped in for me. If I had been alone in that situation, I probably wouldn’t have done anything out of the ordinary, but I might have unleashed a torrent of abuse, including thoughts about Shuu who wasn’t there.
Unveiling the self I had hidden and exposing my anger to Ayana had left me feeling vulnerable, but it made me realize how much Ayana was protecting and supporting me. I was determined to save Ayana in my own way, and she, in turn, was there to help me. It wasn’t about one of us existing solely to help the other, but a mutually supportive and equal relationship… Yes, that was the most important thing.
“……?”
As I gazed at the scenery, my phone vibrated in my pocket. When I checked, there was a message from Ayana saying she hadn’t returned to the classroom yet and was worried.
It hadn’t even been ten minutes since we parted ways… Ayana might find it annoying if I said that, but her concern was so endearing that a wry smile escaped me. With about twenty minutes left until the end of lunch break, I thought it was a good time, so I replied to Ayana that I would head back soon and was about to leave the rooftop when… Shuu appeared.
Shuu was walking straight towards me, looking me in the eyes… I was a bit taken aback by his sudden appearance. I mean, this was the rooftop, right? Even though there was a railing behind me, if I were to jump over it, it would be a straight drop down… Given all that had happened recently, I couldn’t help but imagine some unpleasant scenarios.
Well, my imagination was unfounded.
I thought Shuu would come straight at me, but he stopped at a certain distance and looked me straight in the eyes before speaking.
“Towa… why did you lie to me?”
“Lie?”
I couldn’t help but ask back at Shuu’s words. He glared at me sharply and continued.
“You said you’d support my relationship with Ayana! So why… why are you dating her!?”
“……………”
I sighed at what he was saying. Shuu didn’t like my reaction and his gaze sharpened even more. I met his eyes and spoke.
“I already apologized for that back then. I feel guilty about it. Maybe you liked Ayana before I did. But I couldn’t just stand by and watch Ayana continue to be hurt. So I decided to express my feelings and protect and support her.”
By expressing my own feelings and determination, Shuu seemed to be taken aback and stepped back. I felt sorry, but I couldn’t help but find Shuu’s reaction pitiful. He probably came here with his own feelings. Yet, just hearing my decision made him flustered. I couldn’t be moved by such half-hearted feelings. Well, no matter what, I had no intention of letting go of Ayana.
“What’s that supposed to mean… I like Ayana too. If I had confessed to her first… even Ayana would have—”
“She accepted you?”
“……”
Shuu bit his lip and looked down.
Seeing him like that… no, hearing his words, I couldn’t hold back anymore. In the end, Shuu was just like Kotone and Hatsune. If it were Ayana, she would accept him, considering his actions.
I might say something harsh, and maybe my connection with Shuu would break after this. Even so, I didn’t stop.
“Shuu, you can never make Ayana happy.”
I conveyed that meaning to him, implying that he didn’t even try to understand Ayana’s true nature.
Upon hearing my words, Shuu’s eyes widened in surprise and he was left speechless, but quickly regained his composure and retorted.
“What’s that supposed to mean… How can you understand that!? I love Ayana too! More than you! From way back! I can make her happy too!”
Shuu kept insisting that he loved Ayana more than me. But Shuu, do you realize? All the words coming out of your mouth are about yourself, showing that you haven’t considered Ayana at all.
It was all about himself, not Ayana… Shuu kept expressing his feelings selfishly. Listening to that for so long, I felt something inside me snap.
“Enough already!!”
“……!”
Perhaps it was the first time I had been so overwhelmed by anger towards Shuu. I lashed out at him with words that came straight from my heart.
“You’ve been only thinking about yourself this whole time, haven’t you!? You haven’t thought about Ayana at all! Do you think your happiness equals hers!? Stop being so selfish!!”
I unleashed my words without giving him a chance to speak.
Maybe it was the first time I had shown such anger towards Shuu, and he had probably never seen me like this before. Maybe that’s why Shuu was left speechless as he looked at me.
Breathing heavily, I glared at Shuu. Losing his earlier momentum, Shuu managed to squeeze out a small response as if in a last attempt to resist.
“…Then… then what. Do you think you can make Ayana happy?”
I nodded vigorously at those words and replied, “I will show you. I will definitely make Ayana happy.” There’s no need to hesitate; this is my true feeling. Certainly, at this stage, I have no idea what the future holds. Only God would know such things. But so what? I will make Ayana happy, no matter what.
Having thought that far, I suddenly shook my head. “…No, that’s not it.”
“Hmm?” Shu tilted his head in confusion at my sudden muttering.
I had inadvertently gotten heated and forgotten something crucial. It was the shape of happiness I had been contemplating here, a mutually supportive and equal relationship where we help each other.
“We will both be happy. It’s not enough for just one of us to be happy. Ayana and I will be happy together. Shu, that’s my determination.”
From Noble mtl dot com
Not one or the other, but both will be happy. That’s what I aim for, the determination I want to convey to Shu in the end.
Shu seemed at a loss for words and remained silent, his head bowed.
As I refocused from my conversation with Shu back to the clock on my phone, realizing that class was about to start in five minutes, I passed by Shu as I left the rooftop and quietly said, “Don’t be late for class.”
…I said various things, but I hope these words won’t be our final ones between us.
Entering the school building from the rooftop and descending the stairs, I unexpectedly saw someone. “President?”
It was the Student Council President, Iori Motohashi.
She was leaning against the wall. After confirming my presence, Iori smiled faintly and spoke, “Because of my nature, I was grateful for people who treated me normally. Despite it being work, Shu-kun was the only one who would invite me and bother me. His attitude was fresh to me, and I came to like the sight of him handling his work properly.”
I was taken aback by Iori’s sudden disclosure, but her fragile demeanor made it hard to cut the conversation short. Despite her usual cool impression, what I felt the most was… resignation?
“But… I somehow understand now. Probably, unless Shu overcomes it on his own, Onmuka-san will continue to linger in Shu’s heart. If that’s the case, even if he were to accept my feelings… What should I say? The future where things work out is no longer visible to me.”
I see, Iori truly liked Shu.
There are parts of Iori’s words that resonate with me. If things continue like this, Shu might chase Ayana’s illusion for a long time. If that were to happen, for a woman who loves Shu, it would be like being overlapped with someone completely different… Happiness surely wouldn’t lie there.
“I thought it was a chance when I saw you and Onmuka-san holding hands. hehehe… Love doesn’t seem to go well, does it? Maybe it was a good experience before going to college.”
…I was slightly captivated by her exceedingly beautiful smile.
And at the same time, I remembered that she might face a grim fate at university. Even if Ayana doesn’t intervene, she might end up joining that circle if she goes to university as is. If I were to point that out, she probably wouldn’t understand what I mean.
“Senpai, about university—”
So, as I tried to vaguely mention the circle to her, the response I received from Iori was unexpected.
“I haven’t told Shu yet, but I intend to change the university I’m going to. I chose a nearby university to stay close to him because I want to be by his side a little longer, but I’ll go a bit further away. The studies of what I want to do in the future are more advanced over there, you see.”
“I see…”
For some reason, I didn’t feel the usual anxiety that comes when I think about something. If Iori, who found something new she wants to do, surely it will be alright, I felt. But thanks to that, I also felt a bit relieved myself.
“Senpai, there seem to be quite shady circles at universities, so please be careful. Good luck with your studies.”
I’ll convey this much; I think it’ll be fine, though.
“Yes, thank you. But shady circles… hmm, I’ll be careful. Hey, Yukishiro-kun.”
“Yes?”
“When I go to university… I wonder if I can have a wonderful boyfriend like you.”
“…That’s…”
“hahahaha, I’ve left you lost for words a bit, haven’t I? Well then, Yukishiro, make sure you don’t be late for class,” Izumi said, waving her hand as she walked away.
…People are strong, I think. They can move forward like that.
“Shuu, make sure you move forward too,” even if she didn’t hear, that’s fine for now.
Satisfied on my own, as I tried to head back to the classroom, my phone vibrated again. Without much thought, I took out my phone and let out a small gasp.
“…Uh oh.”
Messages from Ayana were piling up.
Certainly, it’s such a tight time to return now… I have to hurry back.