19. Me, why do I have tears?
#19. Me, why are you crying?
Received a disastrous grade of D+, and it was Saturday.
Cynthia took make-up classes from Saturday morning.
‘Ugh… It’s a supplementary class. It’s tough. Still have to listen It’s because I couldn’t do it.’
She took supplementary classes diligently.
She tried not to miss everything the instructor said and took notes.
That’s how the class ended.
“Siya. Instructor Jung Woo-sik is calling you? Long to the teacher’s office.”
“Really? Thanks for letting me know.”
Cynthia, who was about to go to her dormitory after her make-up class, was called by Jeong Woo-sik, the instructor in charge of her own class, Class 2-A.
‘… Is it because of the talk about her make-up class? Or delete class hours?’
Cynthia went to her office with questions.
She then heard a shocking story.
“Cadet Cynthia.”
“Yes. Instructor.”
“To be honest. You have no talent.”
“I know.”
Cynthia was taken aback, but she answered calmly.
Having no talent.
Because she knew herself better than anyone else.
That’s why she’s working harder. She
She believes that she can change someday if she tries.
“Do you really think you know?”
“… Yes?”
“Your talent is at a very disastrous level as an academy cadet. How does she avoid being paid, though… don’t you know At this rate, you will be paid.”
“But… My skills are improving little by little.”
It’s less compared to the time I tried, but I’m getting stronger.
Recently, I’ve also gained tremendous strength. And… She is also able to use the ability called Wind Length.
I think I will be able to perform well in the next test.
“The growth of other kids is even steeper. Cadet Cynthia can’t even compare to you.”
Instructor Jung Woo-sik said coldly to Cynthia.
You’re far behind the other guys.
“You got the third D in Magicology II class this time, right? In supplementary classes… Class hours will also be deleted.”
“It was D+. Had I gotten a little better, I could have gotten a C-… !”
“If only I had received a little better? Why assume something that won’t happen?”
“… ….”
Cynthia could not give any answer to Jung Woo-sik’s directing.
“I recommend dropping out. It would be pointless to stay at the academy any longer.”
Jung Woo-shik recommended that Cynthia drop out.
Because it was not good for a cadet with poor grades to be in her class.
He said this not only to Cynthia, but also to other cadets whose grades were lagging behind.
‘I went on vacation… Still nothing has changed. Tsk.’
He’s been watching Cynthia since the beginning of her school year and her skills have always kept her out of place.
I was lucky enough to get a decent score in this actual test, but it was only possible because I was well-placed.
Someday you will be suspended.
And because of that, your instructor’s evaluation score will be reduced. Jung Woo-shik didn’t like that.
“That, but….”
Her words of dropout became a cold dagger to Cynthia and stuck in her heart.
How many efforts have been made so far, but they are all denied… My heart ached.
Pretending to be okay somehow. I tried to put on a bright expression, but it didn’t work out the way I wanted.
“This is all I have to say. Let me go.”
Cynthia was speechless at her instructor’s firm words. She nodded and left the classroom.
For some reason, she felt like she was about to burst into tears.
***
Cynthia right after her make-up class. She
From noble mtl dot com
She immediately prepared to meet Sungjin Han.
‘Let’s cheer up!’
It was difficult and tiring, but I had to do what I had to do.
Cynthia greeted Han Sung-jin with her bright face.
“Well then, what are we going to do today… !”
But she had all kinds of thoughts. She
She wanted to give up. She
Thought she had no talent. She
She was tired. No matter how hard she tries, nothing changes.
She studied and practiced several times more than others.
Even so, I couldn’t even follow in their footsteps.
“I will teach you the application of the self-defense technique I taught you last time!”
God is not fair.
Some people are naturally gifted.
Someone else was born into a wealthy family.
Someone grows up with harmonious parents.
“Mister. Get your posture. Huh? No. Don’t do that. Like this.”
Why can’t he have anything?
Cynthia hated the world.
That’s why.
She never wanted to give up.
‘If I quit like this, I would lose.’
I didn’t want to lose to the world.
I wanted to show it to those who ignore me.
Crying because it’s hard and quitting because it’s painful is the same as admitting defeat.
That’s why I didn’t want to give up.
I always lived with a smile.
“Even if it’s an application, it’s nothing special! In addition to what I told you about last time, all you have to do is apply martial arts.”
By the way.
According to today.
It seemed to be taking extra effort.
I couldn’t laugh well.
It’s hard.
But you can.
“Good job! Then, I will teach you several useful martial arts. Take a good look!”
It’s hard.
Still, I can endure it.
“Oh. Are you good at learning?”
It’s hard.
It’s hard.
It’s too hard.
“Then, I’m going to attack you this time, so stop it!”
I feel like I’m going crazy because it’s hard.
“Then I’ll go!”
It’s painful.
“Hi-yap!”
I have to overcome this.
It has to be.
“… Mister?”
Cynthia asked, tilting her head.
“What are you doing?”
Why didn’t you use self-defense as I told you, and instead took the attack?
‘Is there a problem?’
Cynthia waited for Han Seong-jin’s answer.
And she got an answer back from him. It was an answer completely unexpected for her.
“… What are you doing?”
“Yes?”
Sungjin Han took out his smartphone and switched to a self-camera mode.
Then, he reached out to Cynthia.
“… Uh?”
She was embarrassed to see her face reflected on her smartphone screen.
“My, why am I… ?”
Tears were flowing from herself on the screen.
Why?
***
“This is so….”
Cynthia hurriedly cupped her eyes with her hand, trying to say something to her.
But she just kept stuttering her words, and she couldn’t speak properly.
‘It was a bit strange from the beginning.’
She was smiling as usual, but it was somehow unnatural.
Little by little it was revealed that he was hiding pain in his calm voice and natural attitude.
‘… Okay. Even if she becomes a Shinto shrine in the future. He’s just a kid now.’
I am still a high school student.
She didn’t even become an adult.
Emotions are fragile, and it is difficult to endure harsh winds and waves.
‘I don’t have parents, and I don’t have anyone to rely on even when I’m having a hard time. I would have lived through it all alone. I must have been too careless.’
From the contents of the novel, it was not possible to know about Cynthia’s inner circumstances.
Because Cynthia was the heroine who appeared later.
“You don’t have to try hard to explain. She’s not trying to interrogate.”
But I could tell.
Because she also grew up without her parents. She is well aware of the struggles and difficulties she will go through along the way.
I grabbed Cynthia by the shoulders and met her eyes.
“If you want to cry, cry. You don’t have to force yourself to laugh. You don’t even have to put up with it.”
“But….”
Cynthia stuttered her words.
I waited slowly for the words to finish.
“Losing… I mean, I don’t want to… To those who ignored me when I cried… I feel like I’m losing to the world….”
I listened to her Cynthia and nodded her head.
‘If you cry, you lose….’
It wasn’t something I couldn’t understand.
Because I also thought so in my previous life.
‘I have thought so too.’
There was a time when I endured with evil.
There was a time when I thought that shedding tears was tantamount to losing.
“Siya.”
It is very difficult for an orphan to overcome her natural environment after being born without any abilities.
No, it is impossible.
“… Yes.”
Cynthia is no different from the old me.
She had great potential, but she has not fully blossomed now.
She was just a student of hers who got into the academy because she managed her magic well.
It was next to impossible for her to overcome her current environment on her own.
“There is a certain amount of human emotions.”
Someday.
Her I told her the story I had heard of her.
“To cry is to shake it all off. I mean forget it.”
Crying is not losing.
There is someone who told me about it.
I am a person I cannot see anymore.
“Hard, painful and sad feelings. I’ll put it all in tears and blow it away. Letting go of painful emotions and getting ready to move on. It never loses.”
I looked at Cynthia and said.
“So if you want to cry, you can cry.”
“… ….”
Cynthia looked at me in silence.
Water streams flowed from her eyes.
I hugged her carefully.
“Huh… Black. Ahhhhh….”
I heard someone crying.