200 – Suicide by raising a heroine (complete)
approached the window The morning sun just rising shyly passed the bright sunlight through the window. It would have been a typical morning scene if there were birds chirping, but it wasn’t.
A month had passed since I got out of Olivia’s world, and a lot had happened during that time.
If I had to pick one of the biggest things, it would probably be my giving up on suicide. Exactly, because there was no reason to do so.
In the first place, the fundamental reason why I was looking for a way to kill myself through my super regeneration ability was because of the despair that I could never grow up no matter how hard I tried because of my body that was fixed in time.
It wasn’t until the very end that it was revealed that it was not a super-regeneration ability, but rather a higher concept of time fixation, but anyway.
My body now was no longer fixed in time. That meant that I was able to achieve physical growth like other normal people.
If desired, it was possible to develop muscle strength through exercise, and it was also possible to increase the total amount of mana and magic output by expanding the mana circuit.
However, there was no reason why I had to do that.
Because the soul bond hadn’t been severed yet, I was still able to use the powers of Serena, Christine, Charlotte and Olivia as I wanted. The strength of those four was my strength.
So, there was no need for me to pour sweat and effort into training, but the feeling of growing something was very good, so I was training steadily.
The body, which had not been able to find any progress for hundreds of years, began to develop little by little. Couldn’t that be happy?
Of course, I asked them once. If you don’t like me being able to use your powers at will, I’ll break the soul bonds again.
Since the beginning itself was not tied to an equal relationship, but a bond made from a subordinate relationship, even though I could draw on their strength, it was impossible on the contrary.
The three of course jumped up and refused.
Olivia later came separately to ask for the same soul bond as the other three, so there was no such thing at the time, so even as an exception, the opposition from the three was extreme.
In particular, Christine said that she would rather die if she died, so she even begged her not to abandon herself.
All three of them said in unison that they never wanted to go through that feeling of futility and emptiness they had when their soul bonds were broken. Of course, then we growled at each other again.
‘And, it was those kids who stopped me from committing suicide.’
In fact, as soon as it was all over, my first attempt was to commit suicide.
I almost rolled my eyes when I was so swollen with anticipation that this time I could actually commit suicide. No other thoughts came to mind.
Of course, suicide has been a long-cherished wish and desire that I have been longing for for hundreds of years. It was only natural that the moment to fulfill that wish was right around the corner, so there was no room for other thoughts.
But those kids desperately stopped me. Olivia didn’t join in that action, but she looked at me with sad eyes without saying anything.
He knew what he, the crazed Olivia, had done to me, so he couldn’t bear to stop me. Because now it has become what he did.
“If, my lord, you really decided to commit suicide, I, as your knight, have no authority to stop you from doing so. However, I will follow in your footsteps as well. A knight without a servant has no meaning in continuing his life. It’s the right thing to do.”
Saying that, Serena brought the sun wind shear to her neck.
If I really wanted to die, I would not stop it until the end as a knight, but since there was no lord to serve, he would follow me and commit suicide.
I knew very well that Serena’s words were by no means false. Serena would undoubtedly cut her throat with the wind shear the moment I died and die after me.
that I could have predicted.
“No, absolutely not. Where are you going, leaving this poor lamb behind? Kill me and go. Truly, if God has to go that far, kill me first and leave. I would rather have my head crushed and my body crushed to death and follow God’s side than to live and watch this pitiful life. Please… uhhh. Please kill me first.”
Saying that, Christine knelt down in front of me and bowed her head in a tearful plea.
It was a plea to kill myself first with my own hands, as I could not bear to see myself die with my eyes open. The process was different, but in the end, it meant that she would follow me and die like Serena.
Even if there is a minor difference that Serena is on the side of dying after me, Christine is on the side of asking me to kill herself.
Christine was also sincere. There was not an inch of lies in those tears.
“Dear… you are making a big mistake. Did you think that I would just stand still and watch you commit suicide? I, Charlotte de Gargantua, will stop your suicide at any cost. My love. I can swear on you.”
Charlotte didn’t point a knife at her throat like Serena and calmly declare that she would die with me, nor did she cry out loud like Christine and plead with her to kill herself first with tears.
He just warned me of what he was going to do, quietly, with a bleak smile that was barely alive.
Since Charlotte had openly declared that she would stop me at all costs, there was a high probability that she would gladly do so if she could literally stop me by any means.
Even if I drained all my strength, I would throw away all my pride and crawl on the floor wriggling and bite my ankles in order to stop myself from committing suicide.
“…”
When the three of them came out like this, the excitement that filled my head gradually subsided, and I had no choice but to stop. Because I, too, felt apologetic and guilty towards Serena, Christine, and Charlotte.
In the meantime, I rationalized myself for the reason that the three of us might change like Olivia, and intentionally ignored that feeling, so they were children who only had to convey their emotions one-sidedly.
Serena, Charlotte, and Christine had known for a long time that they loved me.
However, he could not bear to ignore the possibility that his heart would go out of control like Olivia if he accepted that love without limit, so he deliberately walked a tightrope in an appropriate line.
If he generously repays that heart, as he did for Olivia, the love may grow beyond his control. Actually Olivia did.
Of course, this was just my rationalization. I didn’t deny that what I did was nothing short of trash. no, i couldn’t Because of that, the feeling of sorry and guilt towards the three of them prevented them from making a decision.
“Abel.”
And, Olivia also helped the three a little bit.
The reason the other three looked shocked was not because of the fact that Olivia had helped them, but because of the shock of saying my name.
“The purpose of Abel’s death is the frustration of not being able to move forward. Then, there’s no need to do that anymore.”
“…”
“Because Abel can grow now. If he wants to, he can become stronger than everyone here put together. If he needs our strength, we’ll do everything in our power to help Abel. Of course, we won’t stop him if he wants to become stronger on his own without our help.” But, I mean, Abel.”
Olivia said her wish quietly, with a forlorn expression on her face.
“Don’t die. Live together with us.”
Hearing that, he put on a blank expression. It was a blind spot that I was so obsessed with that I could die now that I hadn’t even thought about it.
That I don’t have to struggle to die anymore.
“Even if he doesn’t break his heart, there’s no need to do that right now, right? If you enjoy life to the fullest… and then get tired of it all, it’s never too late to think about it again.”
And we won’t let Abel get tired of us. the word was added.
“After all, they were right, so I have nothing to say.”
When he opened his right hand, a small blue sphere of mana appeared on it. Not Serena’s power, Charlotte’s power, Christine’s power, or Olivia’s power. A sphere of mana created with my pure power.
Looking at this sphere reminded me of my past struggles. I wondered if I had been struggling so hard, walking through everything, to try at least one magic.
He clenched his fists and shattered the mana. A blue light briefly leaked out between the fingers. When I opened my hand again, nothing was left there. I felt it and smiled.
everything was new
The fact that you need to drink water to avoid dying from dehydration. The fact that you have to eat to not starve to death. The fact that you have to try not to freeze to death. The fact that I can no longer roll my body as carelessly as I used to.
And, the fact that you could die if you didn’t.
Isn’t that really funny? I’ve been struggling to die for the past few hundred years, but now I have to worry that I might die if I do something wrong.
“Though this way is much better.”
Yes, it was better to live with these worries.
It’s many times better now than the days when I was stuck in time, with no progress or growth, frustrated at the fact that I couldn’t move forward no matter what I did, and just sat there and slowly rotted away.
It was an undeniable fact.
As I was staring blankly at the morning sun, immersed in thoughts, I suddenly heard Olivia’s urgent voice in my head.
—-Abel! Abel!
ㅡDo you have something to say, Olivia?
ㅡSerena split the mountain while fighting with Christine!
ㅡ… … .
ㅡCharlotte overturned the perception by saying he would bury Serena!
ㅡ… … .
ㅡChristine made another sun and threw it at Charlotte!
ㅡ… … .
I didn’t panic at all when I heard it. It was a fight that had reached the point where I was rather accustomed to it by now.
Because of what she had done, Olivia took a step back and quietly claimed to be at the bottom of the hierarchy, but Serena, Charlotte, and Christine fought each other without getting tired of it.
It was to the point of giving up because I got tired of counting how many times this was going to happen.
Well, what can I do? It’s the path I chose, so I’ll take responsibility.
If I couldn’t take responsibility, I wouldn’t have started from the beginning.
opened the window Along with the warm morning sunlight, a gentle breeze blew gently around my body and turned around. The notebook placed on the desk was blown away by the wind.
He raised his left hand and created a dark blue mana sphere right in front of the window. The sphere rotated in a clockwise direction, gradually compressed into a thin shape, and then turned into a flattened circle. There was a hollow hole in the middle.
It was a transition door.
I used magic to transform my clothes into street clothes and prepared to enter the transfer door. By now, they would probably have noticed the existence of the portal.
The sound of heaven and earth splitting was heard beyond the dark blue portal. Whether they noticed the transfer gate or not, they didn’t seem to have any intention of stopping the fight.
“How should I dry it again this time…”
It was always a concern, but the content was completely different.
I have changed. But those kids haven’t changed. Kids who are still very jealous and growl like they would kill each other just by looking at them.
But I wasn’t alone anymore. There was someone who would live the same time as me, there was someone who would be with me, there was someone who would support me, and there was someone who would whisper love to me.
I no longer had to struggle to commit suicide in despair.
I stretched out my foot through the transfer door. Familiar sensations enveloped my body, and my vision went dark for a moment, then brightened again, and I saw the living hell unfolding before my eyes.
The surrounding terrain was neatly cut into ruins, and another sun was shining in the sky. In the ground, a canyon of unknown depth opened its huge mouth.
Olivia, who had been stomping her feet because she couldn’t bear to join the fight, ran like a darting as soon as she saw me.
“Abel! Please stop them quickly! This is going to be a big problem!”
He nodded his head to mean that he understood, and breathed mana into his body.
All of them were children raised by me, so their education was entirely up to me. I don’t know how long it will take until the training is complete.
“Everyone gmaaan!!!!!”
Across Living Hell, my booming voice echoed.