91. What if.
“You really think like me, don’t you?”
“…”
No, no, no.
I hate being lumped in with Trump.
“So, are you saying that we need nuclear-powered submarines to keep China in check?”
“Exactly! Look at China right now, they’re churning out Aegis-class ships. They’ve got three aircraft carriers under construction already, with advanced industrial capabilities and a huge economy. And what’s the U.S. doing, shoveling shovel after shovel after shovel? What the hell was the point of building the LCS (Littoral Combat Ship) when it’s not even remotely useful, and they’re already talking about retiring it?”
“Oh, I don’t know, why would you ask me what my predecessor assholes built!”
“Ha! What the hell happened to the great United States of America, what happened to the spirit we used to have back in WWII when we were shooting up aircraft carriers?”
“Damn it, who says it isn’t, the great United States of America!”
“Well, China is churning out ships based on their advanced shipbuilding industry, and American shipyards are already losing their competitive edge, and they’re building warships, and they’re making them expensive, and they can’t even build them right, so can we protect the Pacific, can we protect Taiwan, can we protect our ally South Korea, can we protect our friend Japan!”
“Pfft, our great America can’t do this, damn it!”
An agitated Trump rambled.
It hurt more because everything he said was true.
Since taking office, Trump has vowed to build a strong U.S. Navy.
The U.S. Navy was in the midst of destroying every ship it touched after the Arleigh Burke class destroyer.
The Zumwalt-class destroyer program, with its astronomical development costs, ended up with only three ships built.
The LCS littoral combat ship business?
It was a sham of a project, turning out to be a shovelful of shovelfuls, and we were racing toward the end of the world.
“Hey, Donald. Calm down and hear me out. The facts are this: the U.S. can’t stop the Chinese Navy, which is growing by leaps and bounds, not now and not in the foreseeable future. This is the reality.”
“I know that. That’s why I’m worried.”
“But you know what the US has that China doesn’t?”
“What is that?”
“Allies! We have a powerful ally, don’t we? It’s our country!”
“Huh? Your country?”
“Come on, our navy isn’t the Cute Navy of old, we have Aegis ships, we have everything.”
“I see.”
“Why are you trying to carry the burden alone, you have allies, you have us, you have Japan?”
I hated to throw Japan into the mix, but it’s reality.
If I kept emphasizing us, they’d look at me weird.
“And then there’s Australia. A strong ally in the Eastern Pacific! Why aren’t you thinking of capitalizing on that?”
“That’s right, we have allies!”
“Among those alliances, the one that is in charge of the front line of the popular front, and whose role is bound to increase in the future, is our country, Korea! Is an alliance just an alliance? It’s a blood feud, a blood feud! Our country, which shed the most blood among the alliances, not only in the Korean War, but also in the Vietnam War!”
“Oh—.”
“But! You don’t give your soldiers guns when they go into battle, when you obviously have good guns, why do you ask them to go out and fight with backward guns, is that what you do as a clan?”
“Convincing, convincing!”
“Well, that good gun is a nuclear-powered submarine, and we’re not asking you to sell us one either, we’re going to build our own, we just need your approval. Oh, and of course you’ll have to sell us the nuclear fuel.”
“Hmmm—.”
Apparently, my rhetoric worked, because Trump fell into deep thought, and I took a drink of water to quench my thirst.
Finally, when he was done, he spoke up.
“Alex.”
“Yes, Donald.”
“I concede that you have a point.”
“Oh!”
I looked at Trump’s mouth in anticipation,
now all it would take was one more “Okay!” from that old man’s mouth and our country would have nuclear-powered submarines.
“But, uh, I’m sorry, we can’t.”
“Oh, you’re such an inspiration!
“Why, what on earth would we build a nuclear-powered submarine and aim it at the United States?”
“No, it’s just that there’s too many hoops to jump through, first we have to convince the State Department and the Pentagon, and then there’s Abe.”
“Donald, he’s the president, and the great American president is looking out for his underlings, is that even possible?”
“Uh-huh! Who says he’s watching his back, it just gets tiring, doesn’t it?”
“Well, historic work is tiring. This is tiring, that’s tiring, what else can you do?”
“Well, that and Japan is taking too long. Alex, I’m sorry to break it to you, but our best ally in the Eastern Pacific is Japan, and that’s just the way it is.”
“…”
I don’t know what to say to that.
We’ve come a long way behind them, but they’re definitely outclassed, at least for now.
But we can’t give up here.
From nob le mt l. co m
Judging by Trump’s hesitant demeanor, he might be able to get away with fanning the flames here.
Because it’s clear that under a Democratic administration, any military use of nuclear energy would be all-stop.
You have to do whatever it takes to get Trump to sign off on it, and then you have to set the wheels in motion so that there’s no turning back.
“But what if I solve Japan?”
“What? You solve Japan? Does that make sense?”
“It does.”
“How?”
“If you want to live, you’ll have to tolerate it.”
“What? If I want to live, I’ll have to tolerate it? What does that mean? Oh! Are you kidding me?”
“We have a vaccine, you know, a vaccine.”
“Huh—.”
I don’t want it to come to this, but if Japan tackles me from side to side, I have no choice but to bring up the vaccine.
I really don’t want to have to deal with the vaccine.
“Hmm, is that what you’re saying?”
Trump is having second thoughts.
He needed some backup firepower to drive a wedge here.
“Donald.”
“Why?”
“I didn’t tell you beforehand—.”
“Like what?”
“That I was originally going to give Donald’s camp $20 million?”
“Twenty million dollars?”
“Well, you know what, if I get in a good mood, I might bump it up to $50 million?”
Since making an outright deal with campaign funds could be considered bribery, I made it clear that my offer was contingent on making him feel good.
“Fifty, fifty million dollars!”
Trump’s head snapped back to me.
“That is, if it makes me feel better.”
“Well, that’s a little—.”
Hah, what a difficult human being.
In the end, it looks like I’m going to have to pay my dues.
This is really the last one.
If this doesn’t work, I don’t know what will.
“And Donald.”
“What? Why else?”
“Boeing is having a tough time these days, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, the stupid bastards got their civilian airplane business completely destroyed by a faulty 737, and their military business is on the verge of collapse after losing out to Lockheed Martin, so they gave the USAF trainer business to Boeing, and that’s not going well either.”
“That’s one thing, but didn’t you hear that the F-15E production line might shut down without orders soon?”
“Yeah, that’s why they’re trying to force the Air Force to order it even though they don’t want to, and they’re getting a lot of pushback.”
“Well, let’s see, let’s see. The F-15 factory is in St. Louis, Missouri, right?”
“Huh? Uh—.”
“How many electoral votes does Missouri have?”
“Ten! Ten!”
“Hey Guy, that’s a lot of electoral votes, right, except for a few big states like California and Texas?”
“…”
I glanced at Trump, and his eyes were glowing.
That’s definitely the look of greed.
“Alex.”
“Yes, Donald.”
“What do you want to say, why don’t you just say it?”
“hahahahaha, kid, why are you doing this? I’m just saying that I think it would be bad publicity if the St. Louis plant closed.”
“Why don’t you stop spinning and just say it?”
“What if Trump goes out of his way to prevent the plant from closing, so that good jobs stay there?”
“How! How!”
“Because our Air Force is still flying those outdated F-4E Phantom 2 fighter jets?”
“So?”
“If only. If only—.”
“Ah! Hurry up, I’m losing my breath!”
“What if I put my money where my mouth is and ordered the new F-15 EX fighter jets?”
“How many?”
“About forty? And that would keep the St. Louis plant open, and of course the people of Missouri would praise The Donald?”
Boom!
Trump jumped to his feet.
He stuck out his hand to me.
“Congratulations! Alex, I’m going to do some heavy lifting for you in the cause of the Great American Alliance, and now your country will have nuclear-powered submarines! hahahaha!”
“hahahaha—.”
The damned inspirer has finally surrendered.
My country will have the nuclear-powered submarines it has always wanted.
Oh, wait.
I’m not going to get re-elected by supporting Trump like this, am I?
I should have supported the Democratic candidate ten times as much.
As much as I love nuclear-powered submarines, I couldn’t let this disaster of a man get re-elected.
****
“…And so it came to pass that Trump would authorize our nation to have nuclear-powered submarines.”
“Uhhhhh, is that really true?”
“Yes, it is.”
“Uh-huh-huh!”
When I got back to the office, I immediately connected the video and informed Mr. Lee that the U.S.-South Korea missile range guidelines had been completely scrapped, and that we had been authorized to have nuclear-powered submarines.
Oh man, my flyer is dying of excitement, dying.
“Well, I guess we’ll have to inform the Ministry of Defense as soon as possible.”
“Yeah, there’s a lot of stuff we need to follow up with the US on, and we need to order some F-15 EX fighter jets.”
“So these Air Force guys are getting new fighter jets without lifting a finger thanks to our Sgt. Kang?”
“hahahahaha, aren’t they all the same national army?”
“Heh heh heh, yeah they are, but aren’t we spending too much money on these?”
“It doesn’t matter, it’s the bunny, ah, flyer.”
“Speak.”
“We’ve decided to keep the nuclear-powered submarine a closely guarded secret for the time being, so you’ll have to be extra careful with security, you understand?”
“Of course!”
“Well, I’ll be traveling to Korea in a few days, so we’ll talk about the details then.”
“Good work, Sergeant Kang, and thank you, thank you so much!”
“Oh, you’re welcome, and I’ll see you in a few days.”
“Okay.”
A few days later, I boarded a private plane to South Korea.
I had planned to go, but a VIP wanted to see me.