98. Why did you do that?
“Mr. Abe, let’s have a frank conversation. You’re embarrassed and dislike this situation where you have to reach out to South Korea, and you especially don’t want to sit face-to-face with the South Korean government, right? That’s why you put me in the middle, isn’t it?”
“Yes, that’s exactly right.”
“Well, that’s ridiculous, because from what I’ve heard, the prime minister was positive about Japan-South Korea relations just a few decades ago, so I don’t know why you’re doing this.”
I did some research on this man before I met him, and it turns out he didn’t hate Korea from the start.
He even wrote a book in 2006 that was very positive about the future of Japan-Korea relations, saying that Korea and Japan share the values of liberal democracy, basic human rights, and the rule of law.
What made this man so hateful?
It’s none of my business anyway.
“It’s just that…”
“Oh, never mind. The cause is none of my business. The fact of the matter is that we hate the Prime Minister just as much as he hates our country. No, we don’t hate him, we loathe him.”
“…”
“And I am no exception, for although I am a permanent resident of the United States, I am technically a citizen of the Republic of Korea and still hold naval reserve status, which is why I find this position of facing the Prime Minister so unpleasant. I wouldn’t be taking this job if it weren’t for the request of my government, so let’s keep it very simple and cut to the chase. Do you agree?”
“Yes, I agree.”
“Then let’s call it a give, take, and be done with it. Now, what do you want?”
“First, you tell me what you want, and I’ll tell you what’s possible.”
“Okay. We, the government of the Republic of Korea, basically want to return the relationship between Japan and South Korea to what it was before the events of early 2018.”
“I will do that.”
This was probably what Abe was thinking.
However, this is not what we “get.
It’s just a return to the way things should have been.
“So, we’re not going to sanction the export of materials related to the semiconductor industry. It didn’t work.”
“…”
In a way, Abe was grateful for this.
It was a reminder of the dangers of thinking we can just import and use what we want.
“I also understand that we’re reinstating the white list exclusion.”
“I see.”
“And the issue that the Prime Minister has begun to raise, that of forced recruitment, will be left entirely to the judgment of our judiciary.”
“Oh, no, that is impossible.”
“What’s impossible? Do you know we’re a soybean country? We’re a country where the independence of the legislative, executive, and judiciary is guaranteed by our constitution. What do you expect the executive branch to do with what our judiciary judges? Do you expect the executive branch to illegally intervene in the judiciary’s judgment?”
Actually, I’m saying it’s my judgment.
If we simply go back to pre-December 2018, it won’t be long before it becomes an issue again.
It’s better to address it now, even if it’s a lukewarm one.
“You can’t do that! The Japan-South Korea Basic Treaty says that—.”
“Don’t tell me about the Basic Treaty, will you? The injured parties have not been compensated, what are you talking about? Are you saying that a country can override individual claims with a treaty? Is that what Japan is doing? Are you saying that other countries can beat the Japanese people like dogs and then collude with the Japanese government to make something out of nothing?”
“No!”
“I’m not asking for the Japanese government to respect or even recognize the judgment of our judiciary. I’m asking for them to just shut up if they don’t like the prime minister. Why are you messing with the judgment of another country’s judiciary?”
I guess I’d like to go deeper into the historical issues, but that’s not what the president said.
He just said, “I’m going to leave it at that, and you guys should be quiet.
“Hah, you mean just be quiet?”
“Yes, if done properly, that would be enough, but I don’t want to be called a bully over a vaccine, so I’ll leave it at that.”
“…”
“Do you agree?”
“Yes, I agree.”
Damn, that’ll be quiet for a while, unfortunately.
“Also, you’re supposed to consult with us when discharging the contaminated water from the Fukushima nuclear plant. Many people in Japan were against that, so why do you keep trying to discharge it without permission?”
“There’s really no way to do that, the reservoirs are already overflowing. We’re generating thousands of tons of treated water a day.”
“Polluted water!”
I corrected him, referring to “treated water” as “polluted water.
I don’t understand why you’re trying to cover the sky with your hands with facts that the world knows.
How does saying “treated water” make it any better?
“Yeah, polluted water—.”
“So what you’re saying is, do your best and if it doesn’t work, be honest with us and your neighbors and ask for forgiveness. Let’s put it this way: if we had discharged water without permission like that, would the Japanese government have let us off the hook?”
“…”
“I don’t know about other countries, but please consult with ours, is that clear?”
“Yes—.”
Abe’s shoulders were sagging, but it was none of my business.
“It’s the same with the girl statue, they keep trying to take it down, won’t you stop?”
“Okay, is that it?”
The issue of girl statues is not a difficult one in Japan.
It’s just a matter of shutting up.
They probably expected us to ask for it.
“There are two left.”
“What else?”
“The anti-submarine patrol plane incident, reveal the truth and apologize.”
“…”
“This is unacceptable to me, outside of my government, because you’ve called our Navy liars. I’m sure you’ve been briefed by Ambassador Sugiyama, but I’m from the Navy. I am deeply insulted.”
“That, that’s because the South Korean ships were using fire control radar on our patrol aircraft—.”
“…”
“You had political intentions, didn’t you? Wasn’t it? You already tried to settle it with a working-level video conference between Japanese and Korean defense officials, and then the very next day you slapped us on the back of the head, and it all turned out to be an order from the prime minister?”
“…”
Why was he speechless?
“Why did you do that?”
“I’m afraid to say.”
“Why did you do something that’s embarrassing?”
“…”
“No, are you just going to crush them and walk away? I thought everyone in Japan knew we were the ones who initiated hostilities?”
“Phew, what the hell are you doing to me, and what would happen if I came out and said that the initial incident was partly to escalate things?”
What would happen?
Your political life would be over.
“Unofficially, I’ll explain to the South Korean government, but officially, I’m really in trouble. As you know, Mr. Kang felt insulted, so I’ll apologize for that as well.”
“…”
“Please, please, please leave it at that.”
“Then please tell me the truth at a later date.”
“I will at some point.”
“Aww!”
It’s frustrating, but you have to let it go.
No matter how important vaccines are, I’m not the kind of person to apologize for committing political suicide.
There was one more thing that really mattered.
“Next up, then—.”
“Last one.”
“This is top secret. It must not be exposed to the outside world, no matter what.”
“What? What are you trying to say—.”
“Oh, don’t be nervous. Actually, this is something I don’t have to tell Japan, but I’m telling you because they’re a friendly country and our closest neighbor.”
“…”
Abe seemed to get more nervous as I suddenly pretended to be friendly.
“Hmm, we’re secretly developing a nuclear-powered submarine.”
“What?”
“We’re getting ready to build a nuclear-powered submarine.”
“No, you can’t do that, this is unacceptable!”
Is this crazy?
What does Japan tolerate and not tolerate?
I was stunned by Abe’s reaction, which was much more furious than I expected.
“Tolerate? What do you mean, tolerate? What right does Japan have to tolerate?”
“Well, it’s—. What if there’s an accident, the sea will be polluted!”
“No, what are you talking about, are you praying for an accident?”
“That’s not what I’m saying!”
“What’s not an accident? What are those American submarines doing in the East Sea right now, and those people who are so concerned about the ocean are dumping radioactively contaminated water into it?”
“Hey, Profit, the U.S. won’t stand for it! What the hell are you doing in Korea if the U.S. finds out!”
“Prime Minister Abe—.”
“Why are you calling me!”
“You don’t really think we’re in the nuclear-powered submarine business behind America’s back, do you?”
“What?”
“Has our entire government been shot in the head or something, to do something like this behind America’s back, and you think America doesn’t know we’re doing it in secret?”
“That, that means—.”
“The Donald authorized it.”
“The Donald?”
“What the hell is wrong with this guy, I’m talking about The Donald, of course I mean Donald Trump, the president of the United States?”
“Oh, my God!”
Abe looked like he’d lost his mind.
Well, I kind of expected it, but this was a little more than I expected.
“It can’t be!”
“It’s here?”
“It can’t be America!”
“No, seriously, what’s wrong with you, is this supposed to be a joke, did you ask Donald?”
“…”
“He probably wouldn’t take kindly to that, because he was already annoyed that Prime Minister Abe was going to call him.”
“…”
Abe didn’t speak for a while.
Maybe five minutes passed.
“What on earth did you do?”
“What do you mean, how did I convince him?”
“You did it yourself, Mr. Kang?”
“Yes, I convinced him myself.”
“No, you, a civilian, why, why, why, why!”
“Don’t yell at me, shall I just go?”
“…”
“If you yell at me one more time, I’ll just go.”
“Sin, I’m sorry.”
“It was kind of accidental, actually, I’ll just come clean, it’s nothing to hide.”
“I’d appreciate it if you did.”
Even if I did, I wouldn’t be able to tell anyone.
It touches on America.
“Didn’t it seem a little excessive to you, the supply of quarantine supplies and vaccines to the U.S., even though the two countries are blood brothers?”
“It seemed a little bit, but we believed it was just reparations for the Korean War.”
“No matter how much of a blood feud it is, it’s not this much, because it’s exactly the same as Korea’s. Do you get it now?”
“With vaccines and quarantine supplies?”
“Right now, the United States is in the midst of a presidential election, and with the extraordinary supply of quarantine supplies and vaccines, the country has been relieved, and The Donald’s approval ratings have gone from rock bottom to very high.”
“Ah—.”
Abe seemed to be catching on.
“The U.S. was always the first priority, but they’ve gone a little overboard. To say the least, there was a show of gratitude from South Korea for that.”
“And that token of gratitude is a nuclear submarine?”
“You have to say something, but for me personally, I couldn’t find anything to say. I’m the one who got here purely on my own genius.”
I feel a little sorry for the monk.
“So, I mean, there was no way the U.S. government was going to do anything for me, so I thought, ‘Let’s do something good for the country,’ and I said it, and luckily, Donald listened.”
“No, but still, how can a civilian think of a nuclear submarine, did you consult with the South Korean government?”
“There was no consultation with our government.”
“Then how?”
“Well, I’m a sergeant in the Navy, and I’m supposed to be in the reserves until I’m 45 if there’s a war?”
What kind of a reserve is that?
“Does South Korea indoctrinate navy sergeants that they have to have nuclear submarines, because that can’t be right?”
“Ha, me one. I’m Milduk.”
“What do you mean, Milduck?”
“I’m a military nerd, or in Japanese, an otaku! You’re pretty persistent, aren’t you?”
“…”
Prime Minister Shinzo Abe looked at me with a dumbfounded expression.
As if to say, “What kind of asshole are you?