196 – Sleep
“So why do you mislead people?”
I glared at Estelle, who had made a hump on her head and was sarcastic with a voice free of guilt, and lowered the ice pack that was placed on her head. Thanks to him, his drinking spirit was gone.
“Anyway, are you done now? I’m kind of tired from participating in triathlons.”
Let’s say go away, what about Estelle? With that expression, she only shrugged her shoulders. Should she really swear?
“Well, let’s say the rest is your plan. Then what about Roel?”
While grumbling, I asked Estelle’s question with a stupid face.
“Why Roel?”
Estelle looked at me with a pitiful expression at my question, and she said with a sigh.
“Pu-sup… Well, you were busy running away from the angry crowd, don’t you know what happened after that?”
Estelle paused her for a moment, then she added.
“It turns out that Roel is the youngest Transcendentalist. It made a fuss about it. Is that what you meant?”
“… Not that.”
Roel had no intention of revealing that she was a transcendent. In the initial plan, Transcendence Academy was eliminated and another academy drew a picture of a joint win. However, perhaps because of our training together, I did not want to see my seniors harmed by my actions. So he improvised an unreasonable request to Roel, recalling the joint win of the four academies.
“Still, Roel was good at acting. In the second match, you pretended to be close. But he thought that since today’s match revealed that he is a Transcendentalist, it would be very difficult.”
I hadn’t even thought about that. Foolishly, I often thought Roel was a munchkin and kept ignoring what Roel was going through. This is why I needed a bookmaker. He wiped his face once more with a sigh.
“So how did it go?”
I’m sorry, but I couldn’t help but hope that Roel handled it well. As if Estelle was no big deal, she explained with a yawn.
“I heard during the interview that you entered the realm of transcendentalists after gaining a great realization in the second game? The atmosphere in the stadium was really good because they praised other academies for being able to become transcendentalists thanks to that. Because you, the villain to be insulted, aren’t there either.”
I let out a small sigh. Something feels weird It feels like an intense sense of discomfort is sweeping through your body.
“Why lie….”
Perhaps she heard my muttering, Estelle replied curtly.
“That’s right, my younger brother asked me a difficult favor.”
From nob le mt l dot com
No, that’s not it. The original Roel does not hide the fact that he has become a Transcendentalist. He doesn’t hide his skills and play with others.
“Roel… There’s no way I would act hypocritical.”
Talk-
Estelle’s Honey Balm touched my forehead.
“Ew, that’s stupid. Even if he didn’t mean it, no one would have felt hypocrisy towards Roel.”
When I looked at her blankly, not understanding her words, Estelle said as if it were natural.
“If a person who is loved and recognized by everyone gives credit to everyone and acknowledges others… Explanation Even if the behavior is all a lie to hide an ugly truth, we call it ‘humility’.”
The forgotten heart throbs and shows its presence. It feels like the alcohol-drunk brain is gradually regaining its function.
“The humblest and youngest transcendentalist. Now Roel will be the most famous person on the continent. He is so handsome that no one knows.”
Maybe, maybe. Wasn’t Roel supposed to be like this from the beginning? Wouldn’t he have revealed that he was a transcendentalist without my asking? It was not a thought that came up to cover up the irresponsible behavior that caused Roel trouble.
If the reason for the performance of a narrow victory from the second labyrinth was to reveal that he was a transcendent in the last game and to make his name known to all the continents… ? Goose bumps on the skin Other than that, there was nothing to explain Roel’s actions.
Triathlon was a suitable stage for a hero named Roel to appear. It was a match that was relayed all over the continent as befits an imperial match. Maybe it was Bella’s elaborate ruse.
But the question remains unanswered. No matter how good Bella’s scheme is, Roel does not cross the line he has set for himself. Roel’s humility to make his name known… It’s a very upsetting thing. A voice kept ringing in my head as I searched for memories.
“Ross, anything halfway is worse than nothing.”
Was that really advice for me? Maybe it was a promise to yourself. Then, what did Roel promise? He felt a throbbing headache from the alcohol. Maybe he’s my delusion of not admitting wrong and trying to avoid it. As I reflexively furrowed my eyebrows in my complicated mind, Estelle sneered.
“What is that, you look serious? Do you feel inferior to your brother again?”
I laughed bitterly.
“… Not like that.”
“Well, I can’t help it if I don’t want to admit it.”
After saying that, Estelle stared blankly at me. When she met her gaze, as if asking what she was looking at, Estelle smiled bitterly.
“Still, I think your way is wrong. Was it really necessary to play the villain? Think of the swear words and insults that were showered on you after the game. This can carry on like a stigma throughout your academy life. You would compare yourself to your older brother and gossip about being an idiot and trash?”
My annoyance soared at Estelle’s persistent question. For me it was the best option. If you consider that what has already happened is wrong, it cannot be reversed.
“Thanks to Roel, we even had a joint win, so that’s about it. What if Transcendence were eliminated? The fact that I played a villain I didn’t fit in…. It was a choice for everyone.”
The seniors were swept away by my plans and couldn’t even play a proper game. If I had a conscience, I wouldn’t be able to ask seniors who were eliminated because of me to swear together. So i acted Because nothing is more of an issue than the downfall of the arrogant and arrogant.
As planned, all the arrows of criticism came back to me. However, Estelle persistently pursued my mistake. She broke the vicious cycle of the triathlon and also removed the seed of the future aristocratic rebellion. Still, did I do something wrong?
I swallowed my breath at the rising emotion. She somehow feels her lips tingle.
“If you just want to insult me-“
“Really, is this the right choice for everyone?”
Estel interrupted me and asked calmly, her purple eyes shining. I was momentarily speechless at that question. I laughed at the obvious question.
“Do you think I can be a masochist who likes to be criticized? Of course, it was a choice for everyone. No matter how you say it, it was for the best for me.”
Unbeknownst to me, my clenched fists hurt. Estelle, who was silent for a moment, stopped her wiggling feet and asked in a low voice.
“A choice for everyone… Are you included?”
I stupidly opened my mouth as if I had become a crucian carp. To simple questions, I couldn’t answer anything, as if the air in my lungs had disappeared. As Estelle said, I want everyone to be happy, but she never included me anywhere.
Can I be included in the precondition for happiness? When the eastern boundary collapses, most people on the continent die at the hands of demons. Not to mention Luna’s family, only a few of the academy’s students would survive. All of them were created by a single line of tragedy written without thinking about how the main character, Roel, gains victory in a hopeless situation.
There was no way that I, who created such a tragic future, could shamelessly include myself in happiness for everyone.
I struggled to open my mouth. A dry voice came out of my mouth, but it gradually lost its power and disappeared.
“I, I….”
“You just chose to be hurt. They say it’s a choice for everyone, but your actions of not thinking of yourself are an attempt to relieve your inferiority complex towards your brother… It’s just ugly self-consolation. This is not humility for everyone… Hypocrisy.”
I wanted to deny it. I don’t feel inferior to Roel anymore. I wanted to shout like that. However, he could not hide the inferiority complex that always existed at the bottom of his emotions.
“Didn’t your girlfriend, Luna, think about avoiding her mouth? Members related to you will also be swearing together. There, you are the head of the combat department. How much will other departments curse the combat department for this? The head of the combat department would laugh at me for not being able to use artifacts? Is this really the best option for everyone?”
I couldn’t answer Estelle’s words. It was a plan that was nothing short of desperate. She had no idea what she would be after. No, I didn’t think of sacrificing myself for someone else.
I was just conceited that my choice was not wrong. You guys know the truth that you don’t know, that it was a noble sacrifice for you guys who insulted me… I just masturbated like that.
“This is not a choice for everyone. It is the play of an immature child who wants to prove that he shed blood for others.”
Estelle stood up slowly from her seat. Stepping towards me, she reached out her hand and gently stroked her hair. It felt like the pain she felt all over her body had disappeared a little at the touch of her. Drunkenness rises I closed my eyes involuntarily at the muttering that came from within her hazy mind.
“You are an immature child. So, cry when it’s hard, shout out loud when it hurts. Then there will definitely be someone who will be on your side. I have a joint fate, and I have girlfriends and friends. You don’t have to try to take responsibility alone, and you don’t have to carry it alone. No one will hold you accountable for a future that will never come.”
I hear Estelle’s breathing in my ears. It’s like a small murmur. In my fading consciousness, I listened to the fading voice.
“It won’t be easy in the future, but… You will definitely be able to make better choices than you do now. A very good way, including your own happiness.”
Can you really do that?
Established that thought out of her mouth, Estelle answered in a soft voice.
“It was the wrong way, but I still tried. Wrong ways can be changed. Don’t worry about tomorrow, get a good night’s sleep today, fool.”
She couldn’t even remember whether she had answered Estelle’s words.
Nearly chapter 200, and here we are still talking about inferiority complex. Amazing