Chapter 193
Permafrost (14)
I reached out for Anya. She looks up blankly at me from the cold, rough concrete floor.
The two large, round eyes were blue.
+
Anastasia Ivanov.
Would you like to make the object your incarnation?
+
I pushed the flickering notification window to the corner of my vision.
In the window next to him, Nikolai is babbling with a pistol in his hand.
Its muzzle was aimed at Anya and me, but I couldn’t pull the trigger any more, probably because I had seen the bullet ricochet earlier.
I just held out my hand and looked down at Anya, waiting for her answer.
“womb… … baby… … ?”
[Anastasia Ivanov.]
I quietly opened my mouth to Anya, who quietly recited my name.
Towards her who flinched when her name was called—.
[You desperately wished to escape from reality.]
“… … .”
I told her what I was feeling right now.
The reason why high-ranking demons were able to accurately dig into the target’s weaknesses when making a contract with humans was because they could feel their emotions.
It’s the same for me now too. I could clearly feel her image.
– I want to run away.
[That wish was so desperate that it reached me. what you want now I will make your wish come true.]
“I am… … .”
[Do you want to run away from reality? There is also a way to confine you to my dreams forever. If you want to save this city, you can kill Nikolai right away and destroy the spell.]
“I am… … .”
[I can cut out your feelings again if need be. Just say anything.]
I wondered if this might be the devil’s whisper.
The itchy wings, like centipedes crawling, became calm.
Anya blankly opens her mouth. However, no words came out of his mouth.
-I don’t like to be scared that other kids will find out what I’ve done.
Her hand slowly moved towards mine.
White but not pretty Her palms, visible to the naked eye, were full of calluses.
– So I… … .
Almost there. Around the time when the distance between the fingertips was at most one knuckle of the fingertips.
“—No! Are you running away again? yes you were that kind of kid Always running away and avoiding, he was always a fugitive running on the edge of a cliff!!!”
cried Nikolai.
His cry sounded like vomiting blood.
Yes, it’s a red tone. It was dotted with malice and tried to shake Anya until the very end.
Anya’s hand, which was approaching my hand, shrinks. and even mutter
“… … no.”
Nikolai, who readily understood Anya’s murmur, smiled.
“No? Nonsense! If you weren’t a fugitive, if you had an idea to make things right, you shouldn’t have made a contract with the devil in the first place!”
“… … .”
“You should have embraced everything and sunk right away!!!”
But I didn’t stop Nikolai.
Because I knew my own heart all too well.
The Anya I knew wasn’t this weak.
She is not the kind of person who blames her mistakes on others.
The Anastasia I know is not a child who wants to run away from reality to this extent.
No matter how miserable the reality may be, he is the kind of child who knows how to endure and endure and smile.
i know,
If it’s the Anastasia Ivanov I know.
If it were the girl who became the [Devil’s Gunslinger] and put her heart on the edge of her sword for the person she loved – the player – even though the whole world was her enemy—!
You will be able to cut off the thin shackles that bind you now.
I looked at Anya’s shrunken hand.
She bows her head.
Her left hand, resting on the concrete floor, trembled with a clenched fist.
[Anastasia.]
“… … .”
[I believe in you. No matter what hardships and trials come now, you can overcome them.]
“I am… … .”
[You are a child who can do anything.]
She, who had her face down, began to raise her head again at my last words.
As if there were ripples in the calm lake, I felt a change in her image.
-I don’t want to run away anymore.
[You don’t want to run away.]
It doesn’t take much to move a wounded person.
– I want to stand tall in front of others.
[You are not denying your past. A child who just wants to take off the mask he is wearing, that’s all.]
With just one person who believes in you.
-I’m not a contradictory doll.
[Yes, it is natural for humans to be complicated. A person is not something that can be defined so lightly.]
‘Courage’ to reveal oneself, that was enough.
I knew it all too well.
“this… … ? does not make sense… … . Everything would have been perfect?!”
I can hear Nikolai’s voice stuttering with bewilderment.
Anya got up from her seat and stood alone with her feet on the ground, staring at my face clearly.
I stared at her like that.
okay.
If you
If it’s Anastasia Ivanov, at least her heart won’t get rotten from such pranks.
He quietly opened his mouth to her.
[No, I don’t care what past you have. I’ll just look at you as an ‘Anastasia Ivanov’.]
“huh.”
[There is no contradiction. You just needed courage.]
“… … huh.”
[The courage to take off the mask and face the world. The courage to face the eyes of others head on. and… … .]
“… … Courage to face myself.”
I twisted the corner of my mouth and smiled at her who found the correct answer.
Seeing her succeed in standing alone.
Cool.
I was relieved.
+
Anastasia Ivanov.
Would you like to make the object your incarnation?
+
At one end of my field of vision, I saw a flickering notification window.
Anya stared at my outstretched hand.
Following her eyes, I moved my gaze.
The hand that was alone seemed lonely somewhere. But it was more straight than lonely.
[no. Are you still thinking of signing a contract with me?]
“no it’s okay. I’m going to look at the contract carefully in the future.”
At that word, the notification window that had been flickering in the corner of my field of vision shattered.
Instead of the notification window that shattered and disappeared like a piece of glass, a new phrase appeared.
+
‘Agreement’ is possible only with mutual consent. Target has rejected the Incarnation contract.
Would you like to apply for the contract again? (Yes / No)
+
I looked at it with a cool smile and with satisfaction. Then I muttered No to myself.
Because she, who had already gained courage, did not need the devil.
The devil digs into the weak heart.
But I couldn’t find any more weakness in Anya.
So, she won’t become a “devil’s gunman”.
No, because there is no gap for the devil to dig into.
‘It can’t be.’
The moment I quietly try to put my hand away.
I felt a chill in my hand. Anya held my hand.
“Even though I don’t like contracts, I wanted to hold hands at least once.”
Anya’s hands were cold as she gently pulled out her tongue and laughed ‘Beee’.
It looked like this frozen earth because it had been exposed to the cold air for a long time.
but.
“I knew it first. The sun, your hands are so warm.”
Warmth spreads in her hands.
The body temperature spread between the skins that touched each other.
Her hands, like winter, melt.
[From now on, your past will follow you like a stigma.]
“… … huh.”
Winter is coming.
[There will be people who point fingers at you, and there will be people who are jealous of your courage.]
“… … huh.”
The snow melts.
[It must be difficult. You will regret it.]
“… … huh. I know.”
Spring has come to the frozen land that seemed to be frozen forever.
Holding my hand, she looked up at me. Then he smiled and replied.
“But it’s okay. I felt that there was someone watching out for me. As long as you are there I won’t fall Don’t run away.”
[…] … .]
“Sun, you are my sun.”
[…] … You have grown.]
The ice of the permafrost, which seemed to never melt, melted.
Not all growth meant an increase in ability or only external changes.
it seemed to me Her torn heart slowly healed.
Standing alone, I stroked Anya’s hair.
I quietly whispered to Anya who closed her eyes feeling my hand on her head.
[Tell me if it’s still difficult, I’ll lend you a hand.]
“huh… … .”
-Avoided the bad ending [she was stolen].
I was dumbfounded by the notification window that popped up.
… … Did you really almost lose it? If I stayed still, I would have gone to the goal.
“This nonsense. How could this happen… … ?”
As I sighed and muttered, I heard a ‘click’ sound.
I turned my gaze in the direction of the sound of metal, and saw a dazed-looking Nikolai, staggering, barely leaning against the pillar next to the window frame.
It was the sound of the pistol in his hand rolling against the hard concrete floor.
“Golden Sun!!!!!”
His cry was like seeing a watchman crawling up from hell.
I took a step towards Nikolai.
I walked right in front of him and met his eyes.
His blood vessels burst and his eyes were red.
“Only you!!! If only it wasn’t for you guys—!!!”
Facing Nikolai, he looked like a broken doll.
I slowly lifted Yeriel towards him. And the moment you try to cut him off!
“no… … ?”
Anya grabbed my raised wrist.
She was slowly shaking her head at me.
“Whatever the process was, it is my business. Let me tie the knot.”
Anya’s expression, her mouth tightly closed, was not the usual flustered expression.
It was adamant.
I felt that way.
okay.
this was her job. I didn’t have to do the work of her already grown up.
At her words, I nodded and quietly stepped aside.
Anya stepped forward and picked up a pistol lying on the floor.
Facing Nikolai, Anya did not avoid his eyes. and.
“collie.”
“… … no.”
I just got down on my knees.
Respectfully kneeling in front of him, she placed a pistol in his hand and continued quietly.
“Sorry.”
“… … .”
“I apologize for everything that happened because of my one moment of poor choice, including what happened to your parents.”
“… … that.”
“It is my fault that you became like this. I had to do this right away.”
“… … Why?”
She put her forehead on the ground in front of Nikolai. I bowed my head.
“Sorry… … .”
“Why are you apologizing for this… … .”
“If you want to shoot with that gun, you can shoot. Even if I die right here, I won’t hold grudge against you.”
Anya apologized.
“Ha ha-.”
Nikolai laughed.
The guy who laughed for a moment started to go crazy like a crazy person.
uncanny valley. Yes, he looked like a wooden doll imitating a human.
“I talked about love, hate, and contradictions, but was it me who contradicted them—”
“… … .”
“—Anastasia… … . I tried to break you, but it was me who broke it instead. What I said to you was the same as what I said to myself.”
The guy who had been laughing for a while then muttered, and Anya listened to Nikolai’s muttering quietly.
“I’ve finished watching, so get up. no.”
“… … .”
At his words, Anya quietly stood up.
Her white one-piece dress, which was pure white, turned black with dirt before I knew it.
“I am… … .”
Nikolai let out a deep sigh and looked up at the sky. But instead of the sky in his eyes, only the gray concrete ceiling was reflected.
“I cannot forgive you, Anastasia.”
“… … .”
“I hate you.”
“… … Sorry.”
“But I love you that much, so—”
There was a ‘click’ sound. I tried to get up and run away at the sound, but soon the guy’s action put the brakes on my moving feet.
“—shoot me with your hand. That is my gift and curse to you.”
He put the pistol in his hand back into Anya’s hand and pointed it at his heart.
“… … .”
I saw Anya’s hand, which had been immobilized until now, tremble a little.
“You can be forgiven by me by pulling the trigger. This is my gift.”
“collie… … .”
“But since you said you wouldn’t run away from now on, you’ll live with the guilt that weighs down your shoulders for the rest of your life. you can never forget me That is my curse.”
“… … .”
Nikolai let out a deep sigh and muttered into the air as if recalling something.
“I die at your hands today.”
Anya’s arms trembled.
Nikolai glared at her hesitant hands.
With a ‘grasp’ sound, the skin on Nikolai’s right arm burst.
Under the skin, you could see a rough green carapace with spikes.
“Shoot! Shoot, no!!! Are you going to miss the opportunity you had? I am a common man I can’t stand this spell any longer! Or do you intend to turn your friend into a monster this time and shoot him unforgiven forever?”
“collie… … I’m sorry–“
Anya’s eyes from the side were wet.
“… … okay. and golden sun. No, please.”
Instead of answering, I nodded.
“—and thank you.”
‘Taaang!!!’ There was a roar that seemed to split the world.
Anya’s index finger, which held the trigger, was pulled.
There was an acrid smell of gunpowder, and Nikolai, who had been shot, smiled at her once.
“… … I liked it. no.”
Leaving those words behind, he passed through the window.
Nikolai crashed like that. Anya hurriedly reached out her hand through the window to catch him.
Her hand was just holding the air.
* * *
After being shot, Nikolai felt a pain in his chest.
I was confused as to whether this pain was caused by bullets or the nostalgia of first love.
‘How are you… … .’
It doesn’t matter anymore.
I can’t control my staggering body.
‘Ah, Anya will definitely cry when she sees my end.’
Because I was a child with a lot of tears.
When we first met, we played together at Nikolai’s house, and I remembered her crying out loud because her mother was gone while her parents went home to get her smartphone for a while.
So let’s go outside.
With a faint mind as if drunk, and a body that didn’t move according to will, I managed to lead her to the window.
And then.
I could see Anya’s hand and face stretched out through the window frame. Seeing that, Nikolai twisted the corner of his mouth and smiled.
‘Stupid girl. Nothing has changed since I was young.’
The snow falling all around seemed to dance sky-high.
Suddenly, an arm half turned into a monster caught my eye.
Monsterization has long since stopped.
I don’t know how he figured it out, but it was clear that Geumtaeyang and his party blocked it.
If you were treated with modern medical technology, you wouldn’t have much inconvenience in maintaining your usual life.
‘It’s still easy to be deceived.’
The moment he met Anya’s eyes at the golden sun, Nikolai knew.
That there is no confidence in her heart.
Obviously, when the investigation is carried out later, it will be revealed that he is the instigator of this case.
Certainly not.
Perhaps the truth of the Seoul Incident will be revealed. One way or another, I’ll catch her ankle later.
as it should be
‘I’ll take everything and go. No, this is a real gift.’
I even left a note of confession about this incident and the Seoul Incident at home in preparation for an emergency.
The police will never bother her.
The sky that came into view was filthy dark. In the meantime, I saw a star.
‘Anastasia. You are just like that star… … .’
Nikolai’s vision was cut off by a group of stars shining in the dark sky.
‘… … Be a shining child.’
The life in his eyes was gone as he slumped on the ground.