10 – 10. The Untethered Colt Runs
I remembered his back as he left, bidding me a final farewell with a sad expression on his face.
Walking with vigor, yet ultimately losing all the colors I had seen during our first encounter, walking alone into the darkness.
Now I could understand a little. He didn’t want to leave me, desperately struggling to meet me one last time.
A farewell sent before slowly sinking into the eyes of the one who would become a father.
The darkness that settled as the colors gradually faded away.
A contorted face, now called sadness.
A trembling voice and outstretched hand.
My body and mind, eyes and hands, which were once motionless.
To me, who was painfully cold on that day, I have now changed to the point of feeling something abnormal.
Myself, horrifically tainted by the expressions he made and the emotions he carried.
But with the warmth that comes with color, the world seen through new eyes is filled with such amazing things –
To him who taught me that, I am truly grateful in my current days.
That’s why the me from the past days is gradually becoming more and more detestable.
As my heart beats stronger with the realization of new things, there is a corner of my heart that stings painfully.
The fact that I couldn’t find him the day before remains unchanged.
I still remember that his smile had withered.
The reasons for not finding him sank even deeper now that I could finally understand.
He must have met death somewhere. Why do the faces of countless unknown individuals, sometimes himself, sometimes the close associates of his father, who were all cut down by swords, come to mind?
Even though it was my fault for losing him, why did I get angry at him for not telling me more?
If I had paid a little more attention, if I hadn’t let him slip away from me that day, could I have not lost him?
Was it luck that he was able to come back to me? Was it me who was able to return to his side?
Unchanged, with a face full of blue.
Grateful for that, I was able to do the things that I couldn’t do because I didn’t know, because I had little knowledge.
To this pure person who showed me everything without hiding what he felt towards me, I also showed myself without hiding anything.
Is it so pleasing not to hide? Is it unnecessary to conceal emotions?
If you hide, you become unhappy, and if you become honest, you become happy.
But even when I became honest, unhappiness came to me.
Lamber Maelbus, the one who became my father, a human I couldn’t even call father.
If he hadn’t told me, I would never have known what emotions were.
Was I spending my days in nothingness, forever losing color?
Perhaps Repeti, the one I “love,” my father,
If he didn’t do anything for me, if it was just because of that one thing, my realization of emotions, that I became so openly hateful and contemptuous…
From Noble mtl dot com
Consumed by fear, I embraced something I met while following his scent and kept its smell inside me for a long time.
For a long time, I filled my lungs with it, let it flow through my nose and mouth, so that the path was covered with his scent.
(Preservation of line breaks)
I held it tighter, so that its warmth could transfer to my body, so that my trembling would cease.
It must not leave. To not miss the warmth that wanted to escape from my embrace, I held it tighter.
In that deep blue, I was lost in the warmth that was both gentle and soft for a long time.
I wished this moment would last forever. I wished to stretch this brief moment into a lifetime.
The newness that I had never felt before could be obtained by chasing after the blue…
But something black, something stained, approached me.
It tried to steal away my warmth. It dared to take away the warmth that I could finally embrace –
I grabbed its neck and lifted it up. I relentlessly pounded my arms in agony, but I didn’t care.
I couldn’t see the blue being swallowed by darkness again. Never again.
If I were to see it again right before my eyes –
Ah… the color blue –
“… Irene.”
His voice reached me.
Only then did everything become clear.
A little more vividly.
It wasn’t hazy. It was sharp, awake.
He was looking into my eyes.
With my arms still holding him, his blue eyes shone brightly.
His two pupils contained me entirely. Me, and nothing but me, filled up within those pupils.
How it warmed my heart.
Like the first time my hand touched fire, like when my heart twisted on the edge of a cliff, it felt as if it had been extinguished and fallen down below.
One day, I remembered the moment when the boy kissed the girl.
They blushed and laughed.
Perhaps it was a scene from a day in the blue season –
And suddenly, what was mine also coveted his.
It was simply, merely a collision of lips.
Yet, despite that, this feeling of fire spreading throughout my body!
My face flushed, and my mind grew restless as if something was wrong.
Unable to control the boiling sensation, I pressed my body against his even more.
The moment I could look into his eyes was probably after I let go of my hesitation.
I wonder if he was also happy to kiss me.
He held my arms and looked into my eyes with gentle, slightly unfocused eyes.
Through those eyes, I could hear the voices coming through.
“Oh, ah…”
“It’s warm, so soft—”
“This, this is a kiss? We’re kissing, right?”
Truly, he accepted me so willingly.
The person who accepted my happiness, my love, my desires without rejecting a single one.
To me, who had lived twenty years without knowing anything, he taught only happiness,
And he made me so incredibly happy.
What a sweet voice that is received by the ears!
But… his eyes were gradually closing.
When his eyes close, the voice can no longer be heard.
That couldn’t happen.
I raised one hand and opened his closing eyelid.
“…?! What is this -“
A startled voice came, but it didn’t matter.
Just a little longer, if it continues just a little longer…
Unconsciously, I found myself trying to put my tongue into his mouth.
It’s strange, but something flowing out from our touching lips… something that feels sweet…
“Miss!!”
…What bothersome intruders, useless knights…
In the end, I had to let him leave my embrace.
That astonished expression, how much I love that reaction.
Every movement, every expression, his bewildered mind filling my head, it’s truly addictive.
Yes, I want to stay connected just a little longer…
But it seems like these knights have some business to attend to.
Surely, it must be my father. Useless, he said he’s my man but won’t even let us have a moment alone –
More importantly, what did he say? Deal with it? Le Péti?
This time, I should go and listen to what he has to say.
If you utter such nonsense again –
*
“Lord Cajou wishes to see Lady Repti Gail.”
It didn’t take long for me to be summoned by Count Lamber.
However, the knights’ expressions were not so good. There was tension in their stoic faces.
As I headed towards the corridor, I could understand the reason.
The servants were supporting the fallen knights, and swords were scattered on the ground or stuck in it.
“Oh my goodness – what happened…”
Without realizing it, I let out a voice, and one of the knights grimaced and glanced at me.
He opened his mouth to say something, but immediately turned his head at the sound coming from afar.
“Ah – “
From the room, a couple more knights were thrown out and collapsed.
It was even more shocking to see blood flowing from their noses and mouths, writhing in pain.
“Darn it, go into that room right away. Stop Irene!”
“Ah, Irene. What is she doing right now – “
“As soon as you entered the room, she has been in that state the whole time. Hurry – “
Crash-
Clang –
Every time I heard the noise, I flinched and made my way through the knights and servants who were rushing to support them, glancing at the broken doors.
The round marks and the large remaining holes were so shocking that it was hard to believe a human could have caused them, but
I saw another knight being thrown against the wall right before my eyes.
His helmet was severely dented, and the opened visor revealed a bruised and battered face.
In the end, the Count’s room that I barged into was a mess.
There were no intact furniture to be seen, and a shocking sight unfolded before my eyes.
Count Lambert was sitting frozen in his chair.
His backrest was covered in blood.
And following his gaze –
She was there.
Her clothes were torn in various places, but no blood was spilled.
With an expressionless face that was terrifyingly emotionless, she held Eugene Guybus’s neck with one hand, just like that knight –
“S-Stop!”
With a dagger in her hand, she twisted it in an unyielding direction, as if breaking a branch, the hand that held the dagger that had stabbed and slit Refti Gail’s side and neck.
Wow… Severe yandere..😅😅