25 – 25. The Truth is Sharp
“Huh? There’s no need to worry so much. I hear everything. I know what you’re thinking.”
Really? You can hear all my thoughts?
“Yes, I can hear you.”
This can’t be real.
“It’s possible.”
“Well, then, um, I mean – “
“The only thing you need to say to me right now is that you promise to be with me.”
“But – “
“Why do you keep hesitating like this? Wasn’t this what you wanted? To marry me. Wasn’t that your wish?”
“It wasn’t supposed to be like this.”
“If not like this, then how? What other way?”
“Just normally – ” “To meet, chat, and then suddenly appear in the eyes of Count Lambert, be tormented, and eventually die? Huh? Was that what you wanted? Yes?”
His hand reaches out and distorts my face.
“Ugh – let go of me…!”
“I don’t want to. Why should I? If I do it this way, you can stay by my side without any harm. Why shouldn’t I use this method?
Like this… I can even touch your face – “
The damp, lukewarm sensation sends shivers down my spine.
“No, it’s not creepy at all. Like a dog expressing affection, like a cat showing intimacy, licking signifies a good relationship, right?”
“We are like a dog and a cat – “
“Ugh, I don’t want to hear it.”
“Mmm – “
Once again, he pushes it forcefully into my mouth. No matter how many times I try to push it away with my tongue, wrapping it around and sucking it in was incredibly – agonizing.
“Phew. I think this is the best. It doesn’t sound for a moment. Your countless thoughts.
Do you know how attractive it is to whisper in a voice that fills your head with sticky sounds and melts your senses?
If possible, I want you to hear mine too, would you mind a little?”
“Please, why are you like this!”
“Why are you afraid of me? Am I scary? Why? I’m telling you that I love you. These are expressions of affection for you. Is it wrong? Because you can’t read my heart.
So I’m trying to convey it to you in as many ways as possible, why do you dislike it?”
“There’s a line to be kept! This is too intense. It’s not love to demand recklessly.”
“Then are you saying that I don’t love you? Lies. My heart beats like this, and just by seeing you, I smile. If I’m with you, I feel like I can live with just a smile forever,
Why do you look at me with such strange eyes? Smile. You’re happy. We finally met like this, just the two of us. Without any obstacles, we can meet honestly.
But why do you look at me as if it’s strange?”
No matter what I say, you won’t listen.
“I’m listening.”
“Please, can you not respond to my thoughts?”
“I can’t do that.”
“Why. Can’t you do it, don’t want to do it?”
“Because I can’t differentiate between your thoughts and your voice.”
“What are you talking about?”
“After that crow gave me a gift, not long after, I heard your voice, you know?
At that time, I completely ransacked the mansion, wondering if you were by my side… But it wasn’t that, I realized that you were thinking about me a lot. I was really – really happy back then. Why are you making that expression now?”
My fingers forcefully pierced the corner of my mouth, causing it to open wide.
“I don’t like that expression. Can’t you smile for me? Huh? Can’t you tell me that you’re happy, that you love me? You can’t do that?”
Please, please stop. It hurts. It’s painful.
Why did things change so frighteningly? You used to not even care about me at all.
The second time, you at least stuck around enough for me to understand.
But this time, it’s too extreme.
I hate this. Let me go –
“…Am I going to fall asleep? This damn crow. Why is it acting like this now, when I’ve finally met him!
He said he would help. That it would be all about me. Are you scared now?
Why? You said you would take away my emotions. If it’s so scary, go ahead and take them all. It feels like they’re fading away.”
She suddenly lost focus in her eyes and began muttering something.
“Is he scared? No, I can’t understand it. Why should I be scared of him? I want to protect him. I want to love him.
I want to keep him by my side, to hold him, to kiss him, to smell him, to stroke his hair. Why?
I still hear a voice telling me to be afraid, but I really can’t understand it. Will he let me hear his inner thoughts?
Did I finally meet him? After missing him twice, I finally caught him. Why do I have to let him go for a while?
I don’t want to. I don’t want to. He’ll be here.”
When her hand reached out, I instinctively pushed it away.
And if I had known from the moment I entered the room that I shouldn’t do that, that I shouldn’t go against her wishes in any way, I wonder how things would have turned out.
I had never seen a person’s face turn so pale and expressionless before.
In that moment, she gave me a terrible sense of pressure.
Just meeting her gaze alone made it difficult for me to breathe, and despite falling off the couch soon after, I continued to distance myself from her, slowly, as I pushed the floor with my feet.
Her eyes were shining, and even as I kept retreating, until I reached the wall, she still looked into my eyes.
Slowly, slowly, she approached me step by step.
Still with her eyes wide open.
And when she finally reached out her hand, I lost consciousness.
If you ask why it’s in the past tense, it’s because I am now in the same room as the previous chapter, with iron handcuffs on my wrists, just waking up from bed.
*
I woke up when everything was pitch black.
I realized my wrists were bound because I couldn’t stretch my arms when I got up.
I couldn’t go out of the room. My legs were chained to the bed.
From Noble mtl dot com
… Does it have to be like this, her?
Hearing a creaking sound, I tried to move my heavy limbs.
If I had known it would be like this, I shouldn’t have come.
If her love turned into obsession, I should have never set foot in this place.
Begging me to stay by her side forever with those pleading eyes didn’t sound sweet at all.
Even if we were to get married, this wasn’t it.
If I have to continue enduring these heavy emotions, I will probably get bored and try to leave soon.
… At least it shouldn’t come to that.
But if all these thoughts are like voices to her, would she be listening to this right now?
No, she won’t listen.
“Crow…”
The crow is the name of our form, but well, we also ended up having their form. It doesn’t matter.
The black bird stood out particularly brightly even in the darkness. So, it was showing its figure faintly, piercing through the darkness alone.
It made a sound without opening its beak, and a red light was shining within its black eyes.
First of all –
“What did you do to her?”
And there was no doubt that it was the culprit of this incident.
It was a crow that saw me, a crow that watched over me, a crow that conveyed the story.
And the last thing that whispered to me was a crow.
Such a thing revealed itself here on its own.
…I believed that there would be no desire that we couldn’t handle. But that wasn’t true.
So, it overflowed. To the point where everything was pointless.
I’m sorry. I really didn’t expect it to turn out like this.
The crow flapped its wings and sent me a sincere apology.
“You’ve become quite a joke. Are you sorry to me?”
With a slight jingle, the handcuffs shook.
It crawled onto my blanket, shaking its head incessantly.
Look at yourself. She said she loves you, but she made you like this.
We’ll apologize on your behalf. And we’ll find a way out. A way for you to leave this place.
Because it’s our power, after all. She will only listen when we allow it.
If she hears all our thoughts, won’t she go insane and start talking?
“…Help? After making me like this, you’re going to help?”
There’s no blind obedience. We’re just here to assist.
We’re enduring a very long hunger.
Of course, she fills our hunger and pours out the excess, but…
It won’t be long before it leads to your destruction.
That’s why it’s not what we want.
The incomprehensible words, spoken in different voices with each sentence, eventually returned to the wall.
“What do you want from me? What do you gain from me, from her, by pushing me like this?”
…
And without a response, the black figure disappeared like smoke.
Is it really trying to help me?
Rather, could this be a scheme by those who want to use me?
Everything has become unclear. There are too many things I can’t understand.
Where should I start and end? Should I just let go of my sanity and blindly accept her demands?
Can I go back? Is there an end to this quest?
Can I continue living while facing those eyes?
Even passing thoughts in a moment will be read, so how should I handle them?
It wasn’t a problem I could just accept happily.
Just having all those passing thoughts in my head,
It wasn’t a good experience for her to answer before they even came out of my mouth.
It was terrifying.
And even though I didn’t know what that raven would do, or how the story would unfold in the future, I begged for the end of this story to be peaceful.
From the beginning, I’ve thought about it several times, but being drawn to this place wasn’t a good thing.