42 – 42. Destiny (3)
Paul has been away from home for a few days now.
Because of that, I’ve had some trouble sleeping. Well, it wasn’t just because of that, but still.
Even though I was clearly alone at home, it felt like someone was watching me.
I’m not sure when it started. Well, let’s just leave it at that.
It seems like there’s a new neighbor next door. Lately, it seems like everyone is doing the traditional rice pounding.
…I didn’t see their face, but their handwriting was quite beautiful.
The rice cake had black sesame seeds on it. Rice cakes, it’s been a while since I’ve had them.
Come to think of it, I’ve never really eaten normal food.
I just cooked for Paul and ate frozen food or 3-minute meals myself.
Slowly, I realized that I needed to fix my eating habits. She always liked making food slowly.
I remember she enjoyed making stew that was thick and chunky, or meat that would fall apart with just a fork.
…Should I try making that again – that’s what I thought.
Knock knock knock.
Three times, the door was knocked.
Startled by the sound, I shivered and wiped my face with my hand before approaching the front door.
And when I opened the door, there was a black-haired woman standing in front of me.
Black hair, black hair.
“Um, hello! I’m your new neighbor…”
“Oh, ah! Yes!”
In an instant, it felt like something was pulling me towards her, and I stared at her intently.
Was it me? Did I do that?
I blinked my eyes and looked at her again.
She didn’t have red eyes.
…Yeah, there’s no way. She couldn’t be here.
“Um, by any chance, are you the one raising crows?”
“…Ah, yes. That’s right. But – wait?”
“Well, you see – there was this huge crow pecking at the railing of my house, so I thought I’d catch it just in case, since the neighbors said someone here raises crows. Is that true?”
She was holding a cage in both hands. And inside it was a majestic crow, just the right size to fit in my arms.
“Oh, probably. Paul?”
“Caw.”
With even an answer, it was definitely him.
“Ah, I was wondering where he went… Thank you so much… sigh. I couldn’t sleep for days because of him.”
“That’s how it seems. Um, if it’s not too much trouble… Well, it’s quite rude to ask at first meeting, but would it be okay if I brought you some food?”
“…Sure?”
“I, I made too much stew and it’s too much for me to eat alone. Would you like to have some?”
She smiled with her eyes, flipping her hair over her ears. Quite a lot comes to mind.
She always habitually flips her hair when sitting next to me, doesn’t she?
“Ah…well, the rice cakes were delicious. By the way, I feel bad about accepting food – “
“No, no! You don’t have to refuse! I made a lot – I really wanted you to take some!”
Her earnest request makes me a little uneasy.
In fact, this isn’t our first meeting, is it?
That’s why it would be right to refuse… Yes, let’s just firmly refuse.
If she had seen me like this, she would have been upset. Or maybe, she could have stared at me with chilling eyes…
“Well…so – “
“No, it’s fine. I’m really sorry. I…well, yes. It’s a little hard to say this, sigh…”
“You don’t have to refuse, really – “
“No, it’s not to your taste. I have someone else in my heart. Even if you say more, I probably won’t listen. I’m sorry. I’ll prepare something separately for the rice cakes soon – I mean, I’ll give you something in return for your kindness. Well then…”
“Oh, just a moment – “
Thud, I closed the door.
Without giving her a chance to say anything.
I quietly put down the knife in my hand on the floor and opened the door.
“…Paul, where did you go? Sigh… You really worried me.”
“Caw, caw!”
Fluttering its wings, Paul, with feathers ruffled, jumped up and down in front of me.
…Ugh, damn it. My head hurts. Did I say the right thing? What did I say?
“Hey, Paul… You need a bath. Wait a moment… Your feathers are so soft. Did that person give you a bath?”
“Squawk.”
“Really…? Well then, ugh… Because of you, I can’t live in peace. You’ve committed every possible offense and shamelessly entered my house… What should I do with you?”
“Caw, caw!”
Now there’s not even a hint of remorse. What should I do with this guy?
“Oh, seriously… No. Ugh… It’ll be fine if you’re okay. Yeah, if you’re okay… I need to get some sleep… Hey. My head really hurts… I don’t think I can go anywhere.
I need to make a call… to the office – “
Suddenly, my vision became blurry, and I collapsed.
Ah… I need to get up.
*
Beep, beep, beep, beep.
Ding.
“Hmm… Let’s see. I already contacted the work team separately. By the way, I really love you. You. It’s natural that you can’t recognize me at once…
But still, you pushed me away so well, didn’t you? It’s admirable that you only think of me. Good. Mmm – Ugh. This is your scent… Your real scent.
It’s not some unrealistic floral fragrance, but a slightly heavy smell. Something… Yes. It’s addictive.
Thank you, Paul. Thanks to you, I made it here safely. Yeah. Keep up the good work from now on?”
“Squawk.”
I want to shout that it’s me, to make you believe… But if I do that, my unstable mind might crumble.
My eye color still hasn’t returned properly. It’s strange… My powers have clearly returned. I’m sure I fixed my eye color to red, but it’s not changing.
So I haven’t even thought about it – that’s annoying, really.
Honestly, it would be great if Sunwoo could read my mind. I’ve been reading his all along. I even watch everything through the camera.
Working so hard every time, really.
Ah… right. By the way, you were drawing my face. Can I do something else during work – or not? Really. Maybe as the CEO, I should give you a little scolding. hehehe.
You’ve really completely lost it… Sigh. Even though I had Paul with me for a while, to be so restless because of this one guy…
No, that’s more like you. Even though you’ve sent away countless crows from the other side, you always shed tears.
…A warm person. Yeah.
Look at the shadows around my eyes. They call it dark circles, right? It’s still a bit unfamiliar to say it here. Even the pronunciation.
Well, if you hadn’t suspected, that would’ve been better. Right? Can you notice when I’m in my right mind?
Oh, by the way, it’s really nice here. Right. The camera is really fascinating too.
If you keep a crow as a resident in your house, you’ll immediately be suspicious. Ah, of course, there’s Paul too, but if he stays home 24/7, you’ll suspect me again.
Thank you for waiting for me, giving meaning to everything. I know you’re getting hurt and losing hope little by little…
I can’t appear in front of you yet. I’m not ‘Irene Melville’ yet. What you want from me is that shell. At least, evidence to prove that I exist.
If I approach you without anything, you’ll definitely get hurt.
Because I want to embrace you completely… Just wait a little longer.
Let’s see… This doesn’t look like a home at all. Sigh… What should I do with this?
First, let’s go in, huh – huh?
Huh… It’s heavy. Have I become weak? Huh –
Ah, it’s not working. Huh….
Then, where should I look… I should raise my arm like this, huff –
Hmph –
Ughhh –
Ahh!”
Sigh.
“Haa, haa. It seems like I’ve become weak. You… haa… I thought you would be light after losing so much weight, but it’s me who’s weak. Hmm.
By the way, I really can’t eat anything. It’s pointless for you to teach me cooking like this. Take better care of yourself.
From Noble mtl dot com
Where should I look, where should I look… The fridge is completely empty. Sigh… I should at least prepare some stew and bread.
I still can’t eat Korean food – no, maybe I shouldn’t doubt this. It would be nice if you did. Then we would get closer, and when you ask for my name –
Heh, it would feel really good…
Until then, I’ll work hard to earn money, no, I’ll use the money I earn to feed us.
Right? With just this amount of money, we can actually have two, no, we can have a child here, right?
That’s right, your body here, you –
Oh, this is dangerous, you… You’re asleep, right? Right?
No, no! Wake up! We agreed to do it when we’re both awake for the first time here. Hold back, resist.
Whew… Good.
I’m so glad I didn’t suspect that I couldn’t get pregnant last time.
The seed wasn’t yours. It wasn’t really you.
I never wanted that kind of shell in the first place.
With your real flesh, in a place you can accept.
Because I wanted that. Of course – I couldn’t even say it, back then, whether you wanted me to follow you forever… I was afraid of your reaction when you found out.
Only at the end did I realize how much you loved me, how much you regretted, how much it hurt you.
If only I had known you would fall for me like this, I would have revealed everything to you then and laughed together.
Then you wouldn’t have to go through all this. I wouldn’t have a reason to be so anxious.
…I always end up regretting. Making a perfect choice seems so difficult.
Life doesn’t always flow the way I want it to, but it’s because of you that I think that’s what life is.
Sunwoo, Han Sunwoo. I’m so glad to have met you. I’m so glad to have entered your world.
But please wait a little longer. On the day when everything is ready, I will reveal everything to you.”