{ Dana 2 }
juggling
Dana grabbed a briefcase and made her way through the hallway helplessly.
Then her gaze was focused.
Through the gap in the open door, the figure inside the practice room caught Dana’s eyes.
Without realizing it, I lost my strength and stopped walking.
The place where all my youth was devoted.
‘Forward… I’ll never come back… ?’
I feel like the briefcase in my hand has decided my life.
Even at this moment when I have to go outside.
My life is in the hands of others.
It’s my life, how can nothing ever go my way?
The thing he wants to throw away is still in his hand and he keeps talking.
tell me to get out
you can’t be here anymore
The steps are moved again.
A group of people of the same age chatting while drinking coffee in one of the rest areas.
Dana’s sight caught the sight of them gossiping while looking at themselves passing by.
‘… Should I say hello?’
Still, they were friends for several years.
Do I have to speak out…
Dana went over there and said,
“Hello. I’m… leaving now. How are you?”
“Uh… yeah… good bye.”
One of them, who was greeted with an awkward expression, turned away from Dana.
Dana greeted her, who was sitting with her back straight and her legs crossed, and slowly turning her head to the side.
“I enjoyed watching the drama broadcast yesterday. You did well. I will support you in the future.”
Then, suddenly, a woman jumped up.
She said, growling, bringing her face closer to Dana.
“Don’t pretend to be innocent by yourself. You’re unlucky. Like a beggar. Didn’t you know this floor was like this?”
* * *
It was Dana who left the agency as it was, unable to say a word even to the primary criticism of a colleague who was like a close friend.
As if to listen carefully, the behind-the-scenes talk that was heard loudly until the moment you left the door.
She was at the center of them.
He is a friend who lacked acting skills and received less attention from the company than me.
However, they finally made their debut successfully.
‘I’m leaving… ‘
A friend who went there together.
The only difference was their choices.
Dana kicked her out, not her friend.
That’s what made this stark difference.
The last face of her friend keeps coming to Dana’s mind.
contemptuous face.
I don’t hate that friend.
Maybe even the decision to give up something for success is envy.
[Like a beggar.]
What she had said resonated in her ears.
Our house is not even a house where we have a place to open our hands.
‘in reality… Beggars.’
squeak
In the meantime, I feel hungry.
“haha…”
Dana raised her hand to cover her eyes and lifted her head.
Laughter came out of nowhere.
* * *
it’s a shabby house
Looking at the painted walls, hardwood floors, and interior materials, it is not difficult to guess that it is quite old.
But it doesn’t feel dirty at all because of the hard management.
A middle-aged woman was busy moving and looked out the window once.
Early in the morning, before dawn.
‘I have to leave now.’
You have to be on time to catch the first car.
During this time, the interval between trains is long, so if you miss a car, you will have to wait for a long time.
Then you may be late for work.
She rushed to get ready and headed to the front door, but she suddenly stopped and looked inside the house.
The place my eyes met was a tightly closed door.
A worried expression appeared on the middle-aged woman’s face.
A small statue was placed in front of the door.
This is the meal she just prepared.
‘… … ‘
How many days has it already been?
I can’t see my daughter’s face at all.
She is a daughter who has worked tirelessly from dawn to late at night to practice acting.
So for the past few years, I haven’t been able to see her face properly.
It’s been a really long time since I’ve been at home, so at first I thought maybe I was even taking a vacation.
I thought I’d see your face now…
Locked in the room and won’t come out.
At first, I thought I was just tired of not getting out of bed with a blanket on.
Then I went in to see if there was any pain, and I came out in shock at my daughter’s annoyance.
Then the door was tightly closed.
‘Is something bad going on?’
tiriling tiriling
An alarm rang on the phone.
you have to leave quickly
A middle-aged woman hurriedly approached the door and knocked on the door.
“Dana. Mom, I’m leaving for work. I have it set up in front of the meal. Eat it so you don’t get hurt.”
thud
The house rumbled at the sound of the door closing.
the sound of mother leaving.
[Dana. The most beautiful daughter in the world. You will definitely be a star!]
She was a mother who always supported her daughter’s dream.
It wasn’t just support.
It was a dream that you devoted your whole life to supporting and pushing you upward.
your hope.
[But what? No matter what you do, you can’t succeed on this floor anymore.]
manager’s affirmation.
Dana knew that his words were close to the truth.
If not, there’s no way you can break the contract even though you have the money you’ve invested in yourself.
The future I dreamed so much about and prepared with all my life… disappeared in an instant.
It was a situation that was difficult to even accept to the point of suffocating, but Dana wanted to endure it alone.
I didn’t want to come home and show my mom this.
That your hopes have gone down like this.
However,
.
.
.
There was nowhere to go.
The tears she had been holding back ran down her face.
* * *
The middle-aged woman was out of work all day.
The tightly closed door keeps coming back to my mind.
The figure of the daughter who was in it was trampled on by her eyes, and her body, which had been working hard, stopped constantly.
She stretched her back for a moment and looked out the window.
The appearance of the rising husband is no less young.
Sent her husband at a young age.
A sense of loss as if the sky was falling.
But I couldn’t afford to just be sad.
Because I had a daughter who had to dry it with my own hands.
Years when I was only a housewife.
It was not easy to make money or even get such an opportunity.
All I could do was clean up.
Everyone had to get up at bedtime and go to work.
So, I had to do the most of the housework and take care of the children.
A glimpse of his own face in the window.
All of a sudden, the years were engraved on his face.
‘… … ‘
She suddenly came out of her thoughts.
I don’t have time to take a break from being engrossed in emotions.
There is a lot of work to be done.
The middle-aged woman shook her head slightly as if trying to shake her dizzy head.
‘It will be fine. cancer… What kind of daughter?’
Even as a mother herself, she has an appearance that makes people laugh at how beautiful a person can be.
Besides, he seems to have great talent, and he even works hard.
So how can it not be successful?
I don’t know what’s going on, but I’ll be able to shake it off and get up soon.
Doesn’t it say that the more you get sick, the more mature you are?
‘… It’s not hard at all.’
The daughter is doing her best to achieve her dream.
And the harder I work, the more my daughter can focus on that dream.
“Hmmm…”
She moved hard and tried to hum.
* * *
An empty living room with no human warmth.
‘… … ‘
A middle-aged woman returned home and turned on the light in the living room.
And placed in front of one of the doors is the table that was set up in the morning.
She looked at the tightly closed door.
“Dana. Open the door. Danah!”
But inside, there is no reply, and there is no sound at all.
A middle-aged woman bit her lip.
what a great thing… I don’t know what happened, but I’m going to die anyway.
After clearing the table, she turned on the gas stove.
“I hated it. Mom opens the door and enters.”
click
As soon as I opened the door with the key, I saw my daughter lying on the bed.
Luckily, there were no major problems.
“Get up and eat this.”
Dana gets up slowly and looks at what is in her mother’s hands.
The warmth that comes out of the rice bowl is like a mother’s heart.
Dana opened her mouth, trying to hide her tearful face.
“Yeah… Yeah. Eat slowly. I don’t know what’s going on, but I feel better when I eat.”
She was a mother who could not openly ask questions about her serious-looking daughter.
“I don’t know what’s going on… everything will be fine.”
‘It’s all right… Not knowing what happened… ‘
Seeing her daughter’s unresponsive look, she continued.
“I’m going to get up and try again. This is a better opportunity…”
“stop it!”
clink
The rice bowl that fell to the floor was broken by the sudden explosion of the daughter, and the mother hardened like ice.
“You… this… what…”
Dana said, feeling the gaze of her mother who couldn’t speak properly.
“It’s over now. There’s no such thing as a chance anymore.”
Mom just doesn’t understand.
“You, what the hell are you talking about?”
“Stop! It’s over!”
Was it because he felt the scream inside it?
The mother’s speech, which was about to open at the daughter’s cry, was shut down.
“get out.”
A chilly silence flows through the room for a moment.
My mother made up her mind again and spoke softly.
“Looks like you’ve been through a lot, yes. You can. But… are you in good shape? Then you can do anything again. So…”
‘The body is healthy… ‘
okay.
All I have is this one body.
that’s what they wanted
For me who can’t give it, I don’t have anything.
[Like a beggar.]
I remembered what my friend said.
It was as if something had exploded inside Dana.
“What if my body is fine? What else do I have other than a useless body? Why did I have to be born in the same family like this? Everyone else lives and thrives easily, but what am I? How do I create opportunities with just one body? What are you selling your body for?”
that was hidden deep in his heart.
The thought that might have suddenly blossomed out of nowhere during difficult times came out like a sincere feeling.
slap
“You… that…”
The mother let out a vain voice.
It seemed that the slapped person was more shocked than the girl who was slapped on the cheek.
Dana jumped up from her seat.
Then he passed by his mother, who was standing blankly, and said,
“Then stop it now. Mom too.”
bum bum bum
Dana thought as she walked out.
Maybe it was me who should have stopped first.
My dream that was supported by my mother’s devotion to my mother’s life.
Wouldn’t that be too selfish?
It’s late, but maybe it’s ok.
It’s the same with my mom who has to stop.
Sacrificing yourself for your daughter.
Yes, it was literally just a dream.
Like a sweet midday dream.
A dream that was too much for me to wish for.
bang
The door is closed.
* * *
It was Dana who left the house empty-handed.
‘actually… I have nothing to bring.’
It bothers me that it came out with a nail in my mother’s chest.
‘no… ‘
Dana struggled to clear her mind.
How long did my mother have to work so hard to take care of me?
If you don’t live with me, you’ll be more comfortable now.
Dana got a small monthly rent with the money she had.
And I started working part-time.
A small house that looks somewhat empty when you return with a tired body. No, the room…
Rice, dishes, cleaning, laundry… Living alone, I had to do everything myself.
Whenever I was having a hard time, I thought of my mother a lot.
How hard would it be to be alone?
those long years.
I had nowhere to complain.
At times, my longing for it surged, but every time I got my heart set on it.
I couldn’t go back to this way.
‘Are you okay? ‘
Dana tried to live harder.
But that didn’t change his life or anything.
Every day I met was the same day.
While working part-time, I submitted my resume to auditions and management companies, but all failed.
It was the same even if I put my resume in various places that came out of the broadcaster.
At that time, when I felt like giving up thinking that all the opportunities were really gone, I got a small opportunity.
The one who came down to Dana was a contract reporter for a game broadcast.
such a precious opportunity.
Wanting to do well, she decided to try the game herself.
I used to know only acting practice.
I didn’t even think about the game… It was actually more fun than I thought.
He seemed to understand why people enjoy it so much, and that’s why there are game broadcasts.
It relieved stress and gave me a sense of accomplishment.
In Dana’s dry life, the game permeated deeply like a single drop of rain.
“Whoa…”
After returning from work, Dana turned on the computer first as usual.
After changing clothes, he runs and runs the game as usual.
“yes?”
A pop-up appeared.
Her mouth opened softly.
“Beta testing?”