210. Lean on me anytime
***
Good room over time.
“… … .”
Even as he crossed his gaze with Adelia at a very close distance, the situation itself felt awkward.
It was so different from before that the two of us were facing each other like this in a hospital bed with curtains drawn.
Seruk.
Even though I didn’t resist her touch that gently pushed me down, I felt strange.
Being aware of what kind of emotion the emotion in her eyes was now made everything feel different.
“Now then, Cadet Han Chun-seong. Put your mind at ease.”
“…”
He nodded his head blankly while looking at his soft lips.
Immediately, a gentle green light began to appear all over her body. And that was the manifestation of her unique power.
Healing those close to you while making you feel more comfortable and cozy. Gradually, my whole body was energized and I felt my body loosen up.
“Now, let’s fully accept the power we feel.”
Her light smile made me obediently treat her.
‘I can’t refuse.’
It wasn’t even a situation to refuse, but I don’t have the slightest desire to do so.
The feeling that I had to do as she said filled my body and mind.
Squeak.
I felt the warmth spread through my whole body as she touched my upper body like that.
Originally, even her suggestion to visit the infirmary made me feel that she might be asking me for something, but the reality was completely different from what I thought.
All Adelia wanted from me was my ‘calm’.
Even if I say it’s okay, he pushes hard and heals by creating an environment where he can be alone with me.
And like now, I try to relax my body in a comfortable and cozy way.
Squeak.
Following her shallow touch over my upper body, my body gradually lost its strength as if it were not mine. Just… the sense of trying to be comfortable as if you want it to be like this.
“… … .”
I just make eye contact with her looking down at me like that. There was nothing I could do.
I thought her unique golden eyes were pretty, and on the contrary, I wondered if they were okay.
‘sometimes… .’
Maybe I can enjoy this luxury.
She wants to treat me directly like this, and I had no reason to refuse it.
I was feeling that way before I knew it.
Even Adelia’s touch wasn’t intended to be a touch of selfishness or something with emotion.
Even though the emotions of the different textures in those eyes were felt so clearly, she had been acting as an instructor, thoroughly limiting her hands and power.
It just heals my heart. And it actually worked quite well.
“Cadets of Han Chun-seong. It seems a bit necessary, so I will tell you one thing.”
“…Yes. Instructor Adelia.”
I didn’t know what to say, but I agreed.
My body and mind were already relaxed enough to accept whatever she did.
“It may sound a bit heavy because it also talks about officers and soldiers who ended up on the frontlines. They, like Cadet Han Chun-seong, felt really good and said there was nothing wrong with their bodies, but they were often dangerous.”
Little by little, I began to listen to the soft voice.
In the story, when it comes to the front lines, the instructors don’t talk in detail. That in itself could give the cadets a sense of incongruity, and it could lower the officer application rate, so I didn’t say it on purpose.
But Adelia was trying to tell me without hesitation.
“I felt this while I was on the frontlines as a nursing officer, but accidents happen unpredictably. Accidents that can be prepared for are not called accidents in the first place. So, when faced with a powerful apostle or faced with too much danger, there are many people who suffer from mental anxiety even if they overcome the crisis safely. Even if you have passed the day right now, there is a lot of pressure to stand on the front line again tomorrow. So, apart from your body, if you go through something big, you must rest properly.”
“… … .”
“I think the current Cadet Han Chun-seong is a bit like them. To say that I passed through many accidents safely, I suffered very big wounds and suffered. It also happened one after another in a short period of time. Fortunately, I was able to finish treatment on time, so my body is fine, but my mind is something else.”
As she paused to catch her breath, I slowly realized what Adelia was trying to say.
I feel really good about my condition, and actually my body is fine with the power of her sweating.
But the reason why she is talking about doing this to me.
…that was the heart.
“They say that the human mind has no form, so it can’t be properly guessed, but I don’t see it that way. The human mind is almost the same as the body. When the body is injured, it feels pain, and when it is overused, it feels exhausted and fatigued. The heart feels the same pain, is tired, and has its limits. I have to take good care of my heart.”
“… … .”
“I like the attitude of Cadet Han Chun-seong’s strong determination and self-control. It can be said that all of them are ideal, always striving for training and trying to go further. But like now, there must be times when you can put your mind at ease. I’m saying that Cadet Han Chun-seong doesn’t have to say that it’s okay.”
softly.
When Adelia, who had been talking softly, suddenly brushed my hair gently, it tickled me, but at the same time, I felt her reflected in my eyes so dazzlingly.
Healing people was considered to be of great significance in itself.
Healing someone’s wounds with your own power is a great thing.
I felt it even more while receiving treatment. It is said that there are times when people take it for granted when they get used to kindness, but that was not the case at all with treatment.
Every time I receive treatment, I feel more grateful to her.
…However, the way she tried to heal the mind beyond just physical something inadvertently leaked out admiration.
“And in that sense, the Cadet of Agar. You can lean on me anytime. And you’ve actually already received a lot of treatment, right? Because I’ve already seen many aspects of Cadet Han Chun-seong that no one else would see. There’s no need to hide anything. Because I can accept it enough.”
At her calmly continued words, a light breath escaped involuntarily.
…It felt like my heart was relieved more than my whole body was released by her power now.
Can someone tell me with sincerity that it’s okay to lean on yourself when you’re having a hard time?
It was the first time I was experiencing it, so I even felt like my heart was choking.
Because as a person-to-person, I get to face someone who cares about me to this extent. I suddenly let go of the strings of my heart that I usually held onto.
“… … .”
Then, countless scenes seemed to pass before my eyes.
Right after he fell from this world without knowing why.
With a hopeless mind on how to live on, I had to struggle to survive somehow.
Somehow I managed to get into the gap between people who were too foreign to me, and I made a living by doing odd jobs and chores.
The fact that I had to earn money and live on my own wasn’t familiar to me, and having to spend every day like this in a world I didn’t know at all put a lot of pressure on me.
So, for the first month, every day was excruciatingly painful.
Even as I lived, I was just anxious.
Anxiety about whether I can live properly in this world.
I have no family in this world, and of course no one close to me.
Even people who recognized me and treated me well were hard to face in this world.
Because they and I are different.
And among such people, I belatedly realized what this world is like.
After a few months of hard work, I was able to get a trait test with the money I somehow saved up.
Even so, I wonder if my heart has become dull after enduring the time for several months. Even though I was endowed with the characteristics of a common class, I was able to accept even that reality.
After that, after hard work, I entered this academy.
“… … .”
I stopped thinking and shook my head.
Seruk. I let out a sigh for no reason as she touched my hair.
“Sigh.”
And even now I couldn’t say I was living a very smooth life.
I knew the future of this world and the dangers to come, and it directly affects me.
That’s why I had to keep trying and run endlessly forward. Even the moment my heart was weak, I didn’t want to give it to myself.
If I let go of my mind even a little, I feel like I won’t be able to move forward.
Only when I can make up my mind so strongly can I properly go through this world. Even in countless moments of almost breaking, I somehow managed to hold on to myself.
I stopped thinking and realized.
“… … .”
Before I knew it, I was projecting into my mind the absolute strength of mind that Leonhard showed in the play.
I felt like I realized now, a fact that I hadn’t even thought of.
So, without realizing it, an empty laugh leaked out.
It felt really strange when someone told me that you could lean on me like this… and tried to give me strength without hesitation.
That was so strange… to the point where I felt like I wasn’t like me right now.
“Cadet Han Chun-seong… ?”
The slightly flustered voice began to focus on the dazed gaze.
Strangely, Adelia’s face looked so beautiful through her still blurry vision.
‘Was Adelia originally this pretty?’
Maybe it seemed so. Rather, I had something to say to her.
“…”
I opened my mouth to speak, but my lips trembled.
So, it was only after hesitating for a moment that I was able to speak properly.
***
“Cadet Han Chun-seong… ?”
Even as she spoke, Adelia was embarrassed.
Continuing the conversation, I was worried about the condition of Cadet Han Chun-seong, so I spoke a little longer.
I thought I was overdoing it by even saying something I wouldn’t normally say… .
Cadet Han Chun-seong’s reaction was different from what I expected.
After hearing the words, the focus suddenly disappeared as if lost in deep thought. So I waited for a while for the thoughts to end rather than talking.
And in the process, Cadet Han Chun-seong’s expression was slightly distorted or various changes were seen.
Cadet Han Chun-seong, who had an empty smile, suddenly shook his head and met his gaze.
Eyes that are lightly watery.
Even so, that face that felt so thin suddenly made my heart ache.
When those lips even trembled for a moment, even my heart trembled greatly.
“… … Thank you for saying that.”
And finally, I couldn’t say anything to the voice I heard.
A completely new voice.
It felt like the Han Chun-seong cadet I was looking at now wasn’t a Han Chun-seong cadet… I couldn’t do anything other than look at it for a moment.
Seruk.
The car followed the gaze of Cadet Han Chun-seong, who raised his upper body through the transparent yet blurry eyes.
“…Then sometimes. Can I really lean on Instructor Adelia sometimes?”
Let’s say it with a blurry smile, my body is ahead of me than I thought.
Warak.
“Lean on me anytime.”
Even as I held him in my arms, my heart fluttered more than ever.
“ah… .”
Cadet Han Chun-seong’s voice blurted out in a daze, and I hugged him even more strongly.
The warmth of our contact with each other warmed us up, but our minds were dazed.
‘I decided not to touch it.’
I ate my heart so hard. I couldn’t bear to do that.
The image of Cadet Han Chunseong reflected in my eyes right now was too… really too precarious. I had no choice but to force myself to lean on me.