Became an Academy Spearman chapter 248

248. carly’s heart

***

The way we look at people changes from moment to moment.

Emotions are simpler than you think, so they are bound to be revealed directly. In that sense, Carly was confused inside throughout the lecture.

“…everyone did a great job listening to the lecture today.”

Even as he wraps up his lecture for the day, his gaze suddenly turns to one side.

While countless cadets bowed their heads politely and got up from their seats. I saw Cadet Han Chun-seong, who was taking care of himself leisurely.

And the feelings I felt while looking at Cadet Han Chun-seong on the weekend were happiness, affection, and if only that kind of fullness… Now, those feelings were different.

“thanked.”

“see you tommorow.”

“You are so pretty today!”

From nob le mt l. co m

Now that the lecture is over, even as I greet the cadets who are leaving one by one. There was something that made me more nervous.

Alone time with him in the afternoon.

‘As expected, I have to clear my mind first.’

I had a conversation with Instructor Adelia past midnight yesterday, and it was by no means a matter that could be overlooked.

my future.

And that was his future too.

The car was calming down and organizing textbooks. Suddenly, I felt the gaze unique to Cadet Han Chun-seong.

“… … .”

But that was only for a moment.

From nob le mt l. co m

Now, when I give him a glance and show no emotion, Cadet Han Chun-seong doesn’t show anything more than that.

Externally we… .

Because it was an undisclosed relationship. It was said that they exchanged feelings with each other, but it was not possible to reveal.

And because of that, I was able to make up my mind more.

It was like this even now.

And it will take many years before he graduates from the academy and has a relationship that he can reveal.

…Then the moment will surely come when I will have no choice but to make a choice. Rather, I thought I should harden my heart now.

‘If only I had the same mind… .’

I want to put aside all such external circumstances and act as my heart leads me. But since I can’t… .

I had to make the right decision.

“ha.”

He exhaled lightly and took a slow step.

Afterwards, when the two of us spend time together, I make up my mind first.

and i,

I decided to erase the burden Cadet Han Chun-seong would feel… I hardened my mind again.

My mind was already made up.

It was because there was an irreducible gap between being able to have him to some extent and not being able to have him at all.

***

strange

From nob le mt l. co m

Nature cannot erase the feeling that the recent days are strange.

The exchange of emotions comes and goes, and the things to think about increase exponentially. That’s why I felt like I was being cautious when dealing with someone.

that buck

From nob le mt l. co m

Now that I have visited her private training room for the training I promised with Carly.

First, I took a deep breath.

“…Let me calmly convey my feelings.”

I met Adelia yesterday and made up my mind. Far from rejecting her, I told her metaphorically that I would have her too.

…So, there is no back.

Today to Carly, who was the first to have an emotional exchange with me. I should have made it clear.

how do i move forward Whether or not everyone made up their mind. I had no intention of deceiving any woman I would date by saying that I was aiming for a harem.

smart.

I hardened my heart, knocked on the door, and opened my mouth.

“It is agar. Instructor Carly. May I come in?”

“huh. come in.”

He opened the door cautiously at her usual voice.

clap. As I entered, my eyes slowly hardened. First of all, I had to speak out in advance before sparring.

Whatever choice Carly made on my words, I would humbly accept it.

“Today… You came quickly.”

“yes. I want to see Instructor sooner rather than later.”

When I spoke with a small smile, my heart didn’t change when I saw her hesitate.

Even if I said I would change my values and ideology, my affection for Kali did not disappear.

Instead, the only thing that has changed is that my steps toward her have become more cautious.

jerk, jerk… … .

That’s when I reached her.

“Cadets of Hancheon Castle.”

“Instructor Carly.”

Suddenly, each other’s voices echoed as if overlapping.

“Ah, Chun-seong Han, tell me first.”

“no. Instructor, please speak first.”

The car that we were trying to concede to each other, as if we had stopped, we burst into laughter when the words interlocked.

Although our actions were strangely funny… Ironically, I felt a little relieved.

“Okay, then I’ll tell you first. there’s nothing to hide I met Instructor Adelia yesterday.”

“Instructor Adelia and…”

Even as I opened my eyes wide for a moment, it felt like my heart was groaning.

…I never thought that the story of Adelia would come out of her like this.

“Yeah, we talked a lot about this and that while drinking together.”

“Yeah, that’s right.”

He seemed to tremble slightly as he answered.

Something… It seemed she was telling me a lot with just that. Above all, the way she looked at me was different from usual.

“That’s why Cadet Han Chun-seong must have felt quite a lot of… pressure.”

“no. no.”

…I didn’t even bring it up in the slightest, but I could feel that the atmosphere between us had completely subsided.

“First I… I mean. First I want to say it’s okay. No matter what we say after that, I’m fine. I want Cadet Han Chun-seong to think about that.”

“It’s okay to say… .”

“It’s really literal. And the cadet of Agar Castle. Aren’t you satisfied with me alone?”

When she raised her mouth and said something unexpected, I didn’t even have time to think about it and shook my head.

“Yeah, that can’t be. Even now, seeing Instructor Carly, my heart beats very fast. There are no lies in this heart.”

It was sincere.

When she first shined her affection on me and developed our relationship with vivid emotions, I was able to solidify my mind as if I was falling for her charm.

Everything from my mindset towards the front line to the realization that I need to raise my position.

It was all like Carly, the great emotion she instilled in me.

“okay? If you say so, I’d be a little grateful.”

Seeing her calmly accepting my words, I became hesitant to say anything more.

The topics and words I will bring up later are contrary to the words she gave me now.

“… … .”

The question, “Are you not satisfied with oneself?” seemed to pierce through my heart.

Because I feel the weight of the words I handed to her.

“Cadets of Han Chun-seong. You really don’t have to make that face. What I said earlier was meant to ease my mind, so I don’t think Cadet Han Chun-seong took me lightly and judged me.”

“…If you look at it like that, I just appreciate it.”

Even as I open my mouth creaking… a thin breath leaks out between words.

My heart is terribly heavy, but I still had to hand it over.

When I opened my mouth like that.

“Even if I accept my relationship with Instructor Adelia… I can accept it. It’s actually hard, but I’m not ready yet… but I can accept it.”

However, she was beaten by the player.

Unexpected words came pouring out of her.

“… … Instructor Carly?”

I blinked my eyes while calling her blankly.

I don’t know how far they might have talked, but I didn’t know that Carly would go this far.

“why. Cadet Han Chun-seong, are you surprised that I said such a thing?”

He nodded his head lightly… but didn’t say anything.

She opened her mouth lightly, as if nothing was wrong. Looking into her eyes, I could tell.

And since she was also looking into my eyes, the feelings we felt for each other would be visible to each other.

Widely shaking pupils, red eyes shining like stars were shaking vividly.

It was easy to see that I would be no different from her.

“…”

I didn’t even know what to say because I knew how agitated she was when she said that.

Seruk.

When she suddenly reached out her hand, he accepted it.

snap.

When she pulled me hard, I was hugged by her.

“…Cadet Han Chun-seong. Seriously, why do you have such hard eyes?”

“no. I’m not hard… I’m not.”

Even as I opened my mouth in her arms, I hesitated.

The feeling that accidents can’t keep up with this reality that just happened.

‘…There’s no way I’m having a hard time.’

The person who is much more difficult and hurt than me, who is feeling this confusion right now, was Carly, who hugged me right now.

So I shouldn’t have suffered.

“I can tell just by looking at it. How big a heart Cadet Han Chun-seong ate and how he tried to make such a decision. I haven’t seen you for a day or two, so I know now. The fact that he is different from other people, and that the one who does not treat anyone lightly is the student of Chunseong Han.”

“…Instructor Carly.”

“So, I’m just saying it’s okay. I won’t ask you to only look at me from now on. That’s because I’m… too selfish.”

The words that followed unknowingly let out a laugh.

Can the word selfish sound so wrong?

Even if it was selfish, I was selfish. No matter how different people in this world have different values, she couldn’t be selfish as she embraced me.

I love you, and I have someone in my heart.

‘It’s selfish to want that person to only look at you… .’

Where can I find such contradictory words?

Gently wrapping his hands around her waist, he held her tightly.

Wow!

“ah.”

Despite her surprised voice, I had to act more clearly.

The first thing she reached out to me. Even the fact that he spoke to me in order to lighten my heart was all a great consideration.

…and I also knew I couldn’t just accept it.

“Don’t talk like that. Because I want to say that it is me who is selfish.”

“…okay?”

“yes. Really… To be honest, I originally intended to tell Instructor Carly about my attitude and decision. It’s also… true that I can’t see only Instructor Carly. So, I was willing to accept whatever decision Instructor Carly made.”

Even though I spoke calmly, my heart was shaken.

The warmth that touched my body and the smell of her body made me want her so much, so I had to say that.

And today I felt even more.

What kind of attitude should I show when I meet Arya?

To live in this world, I can’t have only one person in my heart.

“…no matter what decision I make.”

He gently nodded his head at the whisper of her voice in his ear, and carefully ran his hair through her hair.

“yes. I have to fully accept the consequences of my words. So, even if the instructor despises me or hates me like that… I thought I had no choice but to accept it.”

It would hurt me very much if Carly kept away from me because of that, but even that I thought I had to accept everything.

however… .

The fact that she spoke to me with so much consideration made me love her even more.

Even the fact that she shines her heart on me and allows me… I want to have her even more to the point that I feel selfish.

“…”

After she didn’t say anything for a while, I slowly hugged her.

The reality that she agreed to accept me greatly relieved my heart.

‘Because I was so selfish and cowardly… He told me he would accept me first.’

“Cadets of Han Chun-seong. Don’t… don’t say that.”

“…Did you not want to hear it?”

“uh. And there’s no way I could think of that. I’ve already made up my mind, so it won’t be easy for me to say that.”

Sarak.

…I looked at her as if I was bewitched by the way she gently put her hand around my neck.

“Because I love you so much.”