39 – Moments I Don’t Want to Lose
“Come here.”
As I spoke, Flimia slowly approached.
“McDermott? Are you seriously considering sharing a bed with me?”
Choi Ye Bin questioned with a skeptical voice. But of course, that’s not the case. No matter how much I appear to be young thanks to magic, my inner age is over 30.
If it were my vibrant early 20s, Flimia might seem like an adult, but she is too young to be considered as a potential partner for me.
With her pretty face, slender body, and the abnormal obsession she had towards me, it was inevitable for infatuation to arise. However, that is a different story from rational attraction.
“Besides, she isn’t behaving like this because she sees me as a potential partner.”
I know it too. The reason why Flimia is obsessed with me is because of the terrible things she experienced during the war. To her, I am a savior and the only corner she can rely on.
Posttraumatic Stress Disorder.
The term commonly known as PTSD, which refers to the sequelae experienced after being involved in a terrible incident. Since it is a mental problem, there is no physical cure, but in Flimia’s case, it seemed that I, as a person, became a temporary remedy.
Flimia came up to me, and Choi Ye Bin stared at me intensely.
“Is she worried that I might do something strange?”
Although it was a bit unfair, I didn’t bother to defend my situation.
“Grab her.”
I turned my back and allowed Flimia to hold onto my clothes comfortably.
Crunch…
As she always did, she started gripping onto my collar until her hands were full. Only then did her trembling stop.
Watching that scene, Choi Ye Bin also looked at the two of us in amazement and spoke.
“This is the first time I’ve seen a case like this. I’ve seen many people with post-traumatic stress disorder, but I’ve never seen such rapid improvement just from having someone by their side.”
I feel the same way.
I let go of Flimia for a moment and moved to a place where she couldn’t see me. After about 10 minutes, she started trembling again, her face turning pale.
“This is troublesome.”
It is impossible to live with Philemia for a lifetime. I also have my own privacy and many things to do. Right now, I need to find out about a guy named “trying man”. Above all else.
Oh my…
Every time she grabs my clothes and looks at me, my heart feels a little painful. The faint scent makes my head dizzy.
I made up my mind.
I turned on the Milsogal screen and contacted Lovepeace.
Admin: Can you be a sub-admin for a moment?
Lovepeace: Really?!
Admin: Uh, but this time, block appropriately. It would be troublesome if you block everyone who swears.
Lovepeace: Of course! I won’t block indiscriminately this time!
I doubted whether Lovepeace, self-proclaimed guardian of the bulletin board peace, would keep her promise, but I decided to trust her.
Leaving Milsogal behind, I told Choi Ye-bin and Philemia.
“Let’s go outside and get some fresh air after a long time.”
— — —
After finishing our preparations, we went outside. It was also the first time Choi Ye-bin had come out of Matap.
Oh my…
Now Philemia grabs the collar of my clothes familiarly. The faint scent from her hair hits my nose again. Ignoring it, I asked Choi Ye-bin first.
“How does it feel to go out for the first time?”
“It’s fascinating. It’s so different from where I was.”
“That’s right. This city is highly developed in magic, and it’s located right in the center of Matap.”
Luxurious buildings and people bustling around. Some were communicating with floating magic devices, and it was not difficult to see people flying in the sky. What surprised me was that there were not only ordinary people but also other races.
“Ma… MacDermott-nim…!”
As soon as a man recognized me, he shouted, and the people around him started murmuring. Some came closer and pretended to know me, while others hurriedly avoided my gaze and ran away.
“MacDermott-nim. Do you remember? I am Karix, the leader of the Louis School. If you ever need to come out of the Matop, you said to contact you, right? I would have guided you to a decent place.”
“Um… MacDermott-nim, I am the leader of the Miti Che School of Magic, who contacted you before. Is there anything you could mention about the joint research we contacted you about?”
“MacDermott-nim! Could you tell us a few things about the new magic formula you are researching?”
In an instant, people flocked to me, desperately flattering me to get even a small favor. Of course, not everyone.
“MacDermott…? The infamous MacDermott the Massacre, right? Wow… I’ve never seen you in person before…”
“What the hell do you think you’ll achieve by listening?”
Two girls muttered about me, but I didn’t pay much attention. As the mastermind who killed countless people in the war and led to victory, my alias was the worst mass murderer, MacDermott.
I killed countless creatures and humans of different species in the war, to the point where the numbers were immeasurable. No matter how much it was done for the sake of the country, the judgment was inevitable.
However, there was one thing that remained the same whether they were friendly or hostile towards me. Everyone was watching me.
“You idiots! How dare you blabber nonsense to MacDermott-nim!”
Karix, the leader of the Louis School, who introduced himself as Carix, approached the girls who were muttering from a distance, and began to scold them with an amplified hearing spell.
“Do you know who it is thanks to that you live in this peaceful world? You dare to praise the great MacDermott-nim as a hero, but call him a mass murderer? What nonsense is that?”
“I’m… I’m sorry…”
The girls started trembling in fear and shedding tears. But Karix didn’t stop.
“Get down on your knees and apologize right now. Or I’ll find where your parents work and make them unemployed immediately. If you don’t want to be permanently expelled from this Matop branch near here, it’s better to listen obediently. If you’re not working nearby, I’ll personally take revenge on you.”
The girls tried to kneel, but I immediately stopped them.
“Don’t.”
However, Karix spoke as if he was unjustly treated by me.
“McDullas had to make great sacrifices for the inter-species World War… but those bastards sold him out. They deserve punishment…”
“That’s enough, stop it.”
When Carix spoke in a low voice, he hesitated for a moment and stepped back.
“If I… if I upset you, I apologize. It’s just that it’s difficult for me to tolerate those who betray McDullas…”
“I understand. Okay, everyone, leave.”
With just a simple word, the people who had gathered around quickly dispersed. Some sighed with regret, while others breathed a sigh of relief.
McDullas adjusted his robe and spoke to Flimia and Choi Ye-bin.
“I’m sorry. Whenever I come out, there’s always this kind of commotion. That’s why I don’t go out much.”
“…A killer… Isn’t that too much? How can you say something like that about someone who acted for their own people…”
Choi Ye-bin spoke while looking at the girls who had left earlier, but McDullas shook his head.
“They are the ones who have never witnessed war with their own eyes. It’s just an unavoidable consequence when it’s conveyed through numbers and statistics. I don’t hate them. Besides, it’s true that I’m called a killer.”
Crack…
I felt something next to me and looked to see that Flimia was holding onto my clothes and speaking.
“McDullas is not a killer… He’s a hero…”
“Is that so.”
Finally, my heart eased a little. I couldn’t fully accept the kindness of the people living near the Matap Branch. Whether they were hostile or friendly, they all feared my words.
That’s why I was grateful for Choi Ye-bin and Flimia by my side. They knew my power completely, yet they weren’t afraid of me. They didn’t ask anything of me. They were just by my side.
From Noble mtl dot com
A relationship where we didn’t have to expect or physically exchange anything became a source of reliance for both of us.
“We’re late because of the commotion. Let’s move on for now.”
With Choi Ye-bin and Flimia by my side, I wandered around here and there.
I went to the dwarves’ forge to make weapons and ate delicious food at the restaurant run by the spirits. Sometimes people who recognized me would come out, but once I gave them a subtle hint, they stopped bothering me. They just avoided me.
Next, I went to the arcade.
“…Sir McTearlas, that’s cheating… Where does it say that you can use magic to put the ball in? It even says in the rules not to use magic…”
Flemya timidly spoke to me as I used magic to randomly put the basketball in. I apologized and threw the ball with my hand. However, I missed every shot.
“Sigh…”
Flemya laughed heartily as she watched my sloppy form.
It was the first time she had laughed.
“What’s so funny?”
“It’s just cute to see someone who handles magic and a sword so well struggle to put a ball in.”
Flemya was making a sarcastic remark when Choi Yebin bounced the ball and threw it, scoring a goal.
“Oh?”
Every shot she threw went in. Choi Yebin calmly scored and said,
“It’s fascinating that I’m better at something than Sir McTearlas. Interesting, isn’t it?”
She broke the highest score, and I used magic again to surpass her score.
Ding! Ding! Ding!
Watching the strange sight of the ball going into the goal three times in one second, the girls chatted happily.
“No… What is this?”
Choi Yebin protested blankly to me and said,
“Sir McTearlas, you shouldn’t keep cheating! Let’s play fair and square!”
Flemya shouted while smiling, challenging me.
I felt a warm feeling.
Although I went out to stabilize Fleemia, it was I who received comfort instead.
When I’m with them, who treat me without pretense, I feel it. I am not a monster.
It seemed like I wasn’t the only one feeling this way. Fleemia and Choi Yebin were definitely wearing brighter smiles than before. It was the desire for the broken hearts to heal quickly.
I watched them for a moment and then spoke.
“I’ll go to the bathroom for a moment.”
“Oh…”
Fleemia, who was smiling, hastily grabbed onto my collar. But she quickly let go and spoke.
“Please… come back… will you…?”
Now I finally understood the source of her anxiety.
Perhaps, she was afraid of being abandoned again.
“Don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere. You know I live in Matap, right from the start.”
Only then did Fleemia slowly release her grip on my collar and smile.
“Yes! I’ll be waiting.”
“Please go.”
Choi Yebin replied as she looked at me. I smiled and left the spot.
After leaving the place for about 300 meters, I exhaled and spoke.
“Why did you come looking for me? Tell me the purpose of your pursuit.”
At the same time, the man made a doubtful expression as if asking how I knew, but then he shouted at me as if it didn’t matter.
“What the hell are you saying, you idiot? We followed those girls, not you. You’re the one who needs to answer. What’s your relationship with those b*tches? We might need to take them with us, so cooperate, will you?”
MacDerrus, who was wearing his robe inside out. Because of that, the men began to suspect that MacDerrus didn’t know his true identity.
“Hey, bro. Answer me. What kind of person are you to be going around with such pretty girls all by yourself? Did you pay them? They do look like that kind of girls… If that’s the case, I’m sorry. I’ll give you some of the money you paid, so let’s quietly forget about it. I don’t want any trouble either.”
MacDerrus silently took off his robe. The man turned around, stiffening as he saw his face. But it was already too late.
“You were talking so confidently, why are you running away now?”
“Ah… I… I’m sorry… I… I was just… I was ordered by… the superiors… to save… save the girls… I really didn’t know if I was a member of MacDerrus. If I had known, I wouldn’t have even come near. Please… please forgive me, I beg you.”
“Who ordered you?”
“Well… I can’t tell you…”
Thud!
MacDerrus slammed the man into the ground and cut off his arm. Despite the horrifying screams spreading, MacDerrus paid no attention and continued speaking.
“I’ll ask you one last time. Who ordered you?”
An indescribable, sticky flesh began to spread from MacDerrus’ body like never before.