Every moment was happy. was full I didn’t even bother to listen to the Goldberg Variations again, no matter how many times I’ve heard them. Rather, it was closer to the feeling of looking at new shoes.
Even as the audition date drew closer, Rowoon wasn’t particularly nervous. It was because he himself knew that he was much more prepared than before.
In his view, if the California Conservatory did not elect him, it was the California Conservatory that should regret it, not him. Rowoon now firmly believed that he was worth that much.
Rowoon asked as if he had suddenly remembered.
“When was your audition?”
“Late February.”
“…are you like me? I’m in early March.”
“So, are you nervous?”
“no. you?”
When asked like that, Rowoon, to be honest, thought he would hear the answer that of course he wasn’t nervous. It was because he was the kind of person who would say that Mila, whom he had seen so far, said that if you were faithful at this moment, that’s it, the outcome doesn’t matter.
So, the answer made Rowoon a little flustered.
“If I answered that I was nervous, would you say it was strange?”
“Are you nervous?”
“huh. I’m nervous.”
“No, well, to be honest, it’s natural to tremble in front of an audition… but it’s a bit surprising. You say you don’t care about that.”
“To be precise, I’m trying not to care. It’s not that I don’t care.”
Mila tilted her head slightly as she leaned against the chair. Watching her curly brown hair glistening in the sunlight coming through the mosaic, Rowoon thought for a moment that her appearance was like a painting without even realizing it.
Of course, it didn’t last long. It was because of Kate’s face.
Rowoon hurriedly opened his mouth, as if trying to get rid of the thoughts that had risen inside him for a moment.
“So that bothers you?”
“Well, that’s right. I thought that something like college would be good. but yet······.”
“It’s only natural that it can’t be good. We didn’t start making music to go to college, but college is… kind of like a milestone. telling us how far we’ve come. It tells you how far to go.”
“And I am a person who thinks that the charm of a road trip lies not in arriving at the destination, but in the process of reaching the destination.”
“······okay. That’s right.”
Rowoon calmly admitted. I didn’t mean to oppose Mila’s idea from the beginning. It was just that I was puzzled by her attitude of obsessing over the destination, which did not go well with that thought.
But anyway, Mila didn’t seem to like what I said. She hesitated before opening her mouth.
“······But honestly, I don’t know. If there is no destination, why do road trips exist? Where the hell am I going? I want to.”
From noble mtl dot com
“What do you want to do? Just do one.”
“I hate that.”
“huh?”
“I don’t want to do just one. I want to do both. I want to enjoy the process and reach my destination.”
“…then shouldn’t it be okay to do both?”
“theory. I know you’ve been doing well lately, but would you have said the same thing if you were here now? Can I just do both?”
At those words, Rowoon shut his mouth. Mila was right. If it was Rowoon in the past, instead of replying to that concern, he would have sympathized with him. Maybe he said let’s go to the end and give up. There was definitely a time when such lethargy and defeatism dominated him.
“······ But to be honest, you’re always going out well. In the vocal department, who sings better than you? What the hell are you worried about?”
To that, Mila did not immediately respond. She hesitated for a moment, then turned her head to look at the cross hanging on the wall behind the podium. With eyes that seemed resentful or longing for something, she replied without looking back at Rowoon.
“I told you before. I started going because I had something to pray for. here.”
“uh.”
“Are you curious about the title of my prayer?”
“······What?”
“Please give me a reprieve.”
“what?”
Rowoon frowned. It was an incomprehensible word. Mila answered calmly.
“I do not have time.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“It’s thyroid cancer.”
Rowoon pondered what that meant for a moment. And after understanding the meaning, I had to think again whether this was a joke or not.
Mila continued in a low-pitched voice, as if talking to someone else. Too dry for telling a joke, too aloof for confessing one’s illness.
“My song…… I guess it’s time-limited.”
#
“What are you thinking?”
Kate’s breath is close. face too.
Rowoon looked back at her for a moment. He might have looked a bit tired for dealing with his girlfriend. But he didn’t care. Instead, he answered quietly.
“I didn’t think much of it.”
“Doesn’t that sound like a lot to think about? No words.”
“I was just bruised.”
“……okay, okay.”
Kate seemed a little hurt by the sullen reply. With her breath, her face also moved away again. I could no longer feel her smell or her warmth.
If you turn your head, you will be able to see her face with a sullen expression somewhere. And I’ll be thinking about how to appease her.
But Rowoon didn’t. I thought instead.
‘Thyroid cancer…’
According to his research, it is not a very dangerous cancer. 105% survival rate. The possibility of metastasis is not high and the impact on health is not large, so they say that they can live a healthier life by being treated more actively than ordinary people.
However, the effect on the neck was not so light. I could survive with constant care without surgery, but if I had to undergo surgery at least once in a while, the vocalist Mila would have died on the spot. couldn’t sing
‘······ Terrible, really.’
I’d rather not know if I had no talent. Mila was a person who could become anything if she continued like this. At least there was a chance. However, ending without even testing the possibility properly was more painful than not having a possibility.
But there was nothing Rowoon could do for her. He was a musician, not a doctor.
Rowoon has been able to understand Chopin’s feelings better lately than when he read the composition log. Just as he couldn’t help his illness and the catastrophe with Sangde, Rowoon couldn’t help but realize that he was not omnipotent.
So he began to devote himself to practice even more. Turning his eyes away from the darkness of reality, he headed to the place where he could shine the most.
As for Chopin’s Prelude No. 4 and Bach’s Goldberg Variations, I had already received a composition journal, so I wasn’t too worried. Performance scores are 66 and 63, respectively.
The puppy waltz also hasn’t solved the homework for the performance log yet, but even so, as it’s the song I’ve been playing for the longest time since I got the Walkman, the level was never low. Right away, the performance score was 65 points.
The problem was the extra remaining Beethoven and Chopin, especially Beethoven’s sonatas.
The Beethoven song Rowoon chose was Sonata No. 2. A sonata dedicated to Haydn by Beethoven, who was disappointed in the teachings of Haydn, who was his teacher and great senior, and later completed his musical foundation.
It was a song overflowing with the confidence and spirit of young Beethoven.
In the past, it may have been a song that you would not have dared to challenge because you were tired of the classicism’s unique trickyness.
But now it was different.
He has already transferred the feeling of his hands to his hands countless times, how Chopin and Bach play directly. He chewed over and over again their performances and made them his own.
And that wasn’t all. The blessings of Chopin and Bach were also with him.
Chopin’s ‘Mirage Rubato.’
It’s not just about measuring the tempo well. In a realm that even his consciousness couldn’t comprehend, his fingers knew at what moment to press and release the key to bring out the color of the note most vividly.
Bach’s ‘musical eye’ helped him to understand music more three-dimensionally than before. The moment the realm of music that can be felt and sensed changed to a higher level, it was inevitable that his performance would also change to a higher level.
In addition, at the moment when the performance score exceeded 50 points, Rowoon flowed into Beethoven’s life and was able to read all the circumstances he was in while composing the song. When Beethoven dedicated this piece to Haydn, ‘Look what kind of music I made after you treated me badly!’ As he wrote down each note with the feeling of doing it, I could understand what color his soul shone.
No one understands Beethoven better than Rowoon, at least from person to person.
[Your fingers are stiff like an idiot. Don’t think, feel, don’t you still understand? ]
······Of course, Beethoven might not think so.
Beethoven’s beatings, the scheduled farewell not only to Kate but to all the ties she made at Hidden Valley High School, the worry that Mila might lose her voice, the strange excitement of the upcoming audition, the anticipation and fear of the future, and the With everything on his shoulders, Rowoon walked forward and walked again.
So, when the New Year dawned and another 15 days had passed since then, Rowoon finally got over 60 performance points and obtained Beethoven’s performance journal…
It certainly wasn’t that surprising.
＜ Bach’s World (2) ＞ End
＜ Flight of the Swan (1) ＞
“It’s like you have multiple heads, hearts and souls.”
— Master Haydn to his disciple Beethoven
#
Even if you are not interested in classical music, you cannot know the name of Beethoven.
It has to be. After hearing the story of a musician who went down in history despite being deaf, how can you forget his name?
Of course, some say that Beethoven’s fame is based on such a provocative story, and that his musical value is too overestimated compared to the actual level. Of course, most musicians don’t even feel worth dealing with.
“Surely, you are one of the greatest musicians I know. All the poets on the streets of Vienna will praise you, and the painters will paint your portrait. And, maybe even the classy ladies expect you to talk to them first.”
Rowoon calmly looked at the woman and at Eleonore. It was a woman with oak-colored hair. Her eyes were brown, but not dark, and the body and face were moderately fleshy, but that gave her a gentle air rather than a dull impression.
Is that why? When he met her, Rowoon, no, Beethoven felt as if a thorn had disappeared from every corner of his soul. It was quite a strange feeling to feel towards an ex-lover who even thought of getting married.
“You are a person who is leaving, and you are giving me too much attention. I don’t think so. Leonore. I am not nervous, I am not afraid.”
“okay. I guess so. But even so, it is the virtue and duty of the departing person to give courage to the departing friend. You don’t have to say too much about me doing my job, right?”
“…Leonore.”