“I don’t think I can go on with you any longer.”
“So what is it about?”
“Why are you pretending not to know? I think we’ve already talked about everything between us.”
Yeonju Lee pointed at her belly with her finger.
“I said I would raise this child, but you said you couldn’t. Since the will is divided, the body must also be divided. If things go on like this, somehow I’ll give up. You didn’t even think of such a complacency, did you?”
“……It’s a performance. There is a time and a season for everything. we are just opening The only thing left to do is climb up. But at this point? A horse is a child, a child who has not yet been born or given a name. It’s just a bunch of cells that don’t even know how to think yet. Are you talking about ruining our lives by giving meaning to things like that?”
“So you don’t know anything. Jinyoung Kim.”
Lee Yeon-joo looked at Kim Jin-young with pity. Then he quietly put his hand on my stomach.
“okay. For a moment, I won’t deny that I tried to think so too. Both my career and your career are on the rise right now to stop because of the kid. Such a waste. why not worth it But… you would know if you’ve ever had this child. A mass of cells?”
The corners of Lee Yeon-ju’s mouth went up. She said with a mocking look. However, it was difficult to determine whether she was laughing at Jinyoung Kim or herself.
“If you put it that way, you and I are just a bunch of cells. This kid is life for sure. I know that? When I sleep in a bed with no one at night, I hear the sound of this child’s heart. You don’t know how much that sound says. I will never know.”
“……okay. I don’t know. don’t know it’s a play This is a story I do not know. But what if you don’t know? If you don’t know… if you just don’t know, we’re both comfortable.”
“I just said you can be comfortable with yourself. I don’t intend to be comfortable.”
“It’s playing.”
“Oh, and I need to correct one of what you said earlier. Didn’t you say the kid didn’t even have a name? no. This child has a name.”
Lee Yeon-ju smiled quietly as she touched her stomach. Seeing that smile, Kim Jin-young froze for a moment. It wasn’t because she was sad when she smiled at the situation of the breakup. It was the kind of smile he had never seen before. Perhaps, only the mother of one child can build…
“It’s Rowoon. beneficial. I decided to give my saint, my life too. to this child.”
“You really…”
“So, if you’re going to talk like that because this child is no longer useful in our lives, let’s say goodbye here. we. Cool and neat.”
Lee Yeon-joo held out her hand while saying that. Kim Jin-young, of course, did not hold that hand. However, Lee Yeon-ju immediately smiled and waved her hand.
“If you don’t like a handshake, you have to do this. good bye.”
“Play!”
Yeonju Lee turned around and left. Kim Jin-young just stared blankly at Lee Yeon-joo. Lee Yeon-ju did not look back until the end. Just like Kim Jin-young couldn’t bear to hold her.
Of course, Kim Jin-young did not think that it would be the last time. He also needed time. That time was not the time to accept Lee Yeon-joo’s decision, but rather the time to think about how to change her mind.
However, it seems that having time is an illusion of his own. One day, Lee Yeon-ju suddenly disappeared from all public appearances. Even her friends said they had no contact with her anymore. In short, Lee Yeon-joo’s goodbye wasn’t a bluff… it was a good-bye, really.
The young and beautiful pianist’s disappearance made the press a little noisy. But the world, as always, easily and quickly forgot her. Even my friends were no exception. In a world where it was natural to forget her, Kim Jin-young was dragged around the stage like a sick tiger in a circus troupe.
And this Rachmaninoff Piano Concerto No. 2 was one of the stages he passed through in those days.
“I am also Jinyoung. Any song that touches Jinyoung’s hands… I feel like that song will only belong to Jinyoung.”
From noble mtl dot com
“is that so.”
“Oh, and this could be a bit cautious… Can I use the expression ‘the man of the pianist who disappeared’ when advertising this stage?”
“……I beg your pardon?”
“No, that… you know? Maybe you know what the audience who visits Jinyoung’s stage these days always talks about. Ever since Lee Yeon-joo disappeared, everyone is saying in unison that Jin-young’s stage seems to contain a different depth of sadness than before. So, even when advertising…”
It was the words of a performer. Kim Jin-young didn’t even feel like getting angry. Instead, he gazed silently at the half-naked face of the man. The man with an expressionless face smiled awkwardly.
“Heh heh, did you put anything on my face?”
“Is it that funny?”
“yes?”
“Does the disappearance of that person, the end of the relationship between the two of us feel so ridiculous that we use it as an advertisement?”
“……hahahaha, oh, it seems I went against our Jinyoung-ssi’s planting. I’m sorry. Let’s talk about a story that didn’t exist. I’m just wondering…”
The official tried to rectify the situation immediately. However, Jinyoung Kim was already not very interested in what he was saying. He spoke in a sorrowful voice.
“This is the only thing I have been trying so hard to get.”
“…….”
“use it. Please write any phrase. I don’t know. When she sees the poster, she gets mad and flies over, and she’ll give me a slap on the cheek.”
Then maybe I’ll see her again.
Couldn’t I just say I’m sorry and ask for forgiveness?
On that day, officials apologized to Kim Jin-young several times. Kim Jin-young said it was nothing to apologize for or forgive. Because, the person Jinyoung Kim is really angry with is himself.
Unlike Rowoon, Jinyoung Kim did not think about Rachmaninoff at all while playing this Rachmaninoff. His mind was filled with nothing but himself and Lee Yeon-joo.
Through the piano he cried, begged for forgiveness, and grieved. And hoped again. Maybe, maybe she will come to this stage. If you gave birth to a child, it’s fine as it was, if you didn’t have a child, it’s fine as it is. i miss her I missed you.
It’s a song by Rachmaninoff, but the owner has become Kim Jin-young. In terms of being more faithful to self-expression, it was similar to Heather’s, but the level… and the emotions contained were so deep that I couldn’t even compare it.
As the music played, and when he slowly opened his eyes, Rowoon stayed still without even thinking about taking his earphones off his ears. [ Performer Kim Jin-young’s playing level is 9. ] I heard the same notification, but honestly, I wasn’t very impressed.
‘……mom.’
It was a face I hadn’t seen in a very long time. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t expecting it, but I didn’t expect to see her face so clearly again.
But I wasn’t happy. No, it was definitely a good moment. I never expected to see her face so clearly again. However, after that time passed and he recalled all the conversations he had with her and Kim Jin-young, Rowoon felt as if his heart was being ripped out somewhere, and he had to gnaw his teeth.
— Rowona. You are a very useful child to me. know?
While whispering lullabies to him when he was young, Lee Yeon-ju would often whisper those words like a spell. At the time, I thought it was simply because I loved him. But now that he’s older, Rowoon realized that it wouldn’t have been such a one-dimensional story.
She must have been suspicious too. Maybe because of Rowoon, I gave up too many things. At such times, she should have said that to herself more often. so as not to weaken. so as not to collapse.
‘sorry. I know I shouldn’t be sorry, but…’
It was an unexpectedly depressing night. I lay down on the bed because I couldn’t hold anything in my hands, but sleep didn’t come easily. My head hurt. The body continued to feel uncomfortable no matter how it was positioned.
Eventually Rowoon took out his phone. And while glaring at Jinyoung Kim’s contact information on the screen, he hesitated for a while.
‘What do you want to say?’
I want to say something. I want to tell you. But I don’t know what to talk about first. My mind was complicated. Worries gave birth to worries, and idle thoughts gave birth to idle thoughts.
So, Rowoon pressed the call button without thinking further. The beep did not ring for long. Soon his voice was heard from the other side. A little surprised, but with a welcome look.
＜＜ Uh, Rowoon. What’s happen. on this night ＞＞
“…….”
＜＜ What do you have to say…? ＞＞
“……I heard you played Rachmaninov’s Piano Concerto No. 2.”
＜＜ Ah, yes, that… ＞＞
“Did you think of your mother while playing that song?”
＜＜ ……no matter what song I played, there was never a time when I didn’t think of your mother. even when composing. ＞＞
Then why did you let her go alone? Rowoon wanted to ask that question, but he couldn’t. I knew that Kim Jin-young also wanted to hold onto her. It’s just too late. little bit much
“I just wanted to let you know.”
＜＜ What? ＞＞
“My mother always told me. I am a good child.”
＜＜ ……. ＞＞
“If you don’t mind listening to the same song by the same performer again, tomorrow’s stage… Please come. I want to show you.”
The lump of cells that mother decided to devote her life to was a life worth living.
that it was beneficial
Swallowing several words, Rowoon continued.
“Listen again. My Rachmaninoff.”
The work she created must be properly displayed.
want to show.
＜ California Music Festival (23) ＞ End
＜ California Music Festival (24) ＞
Kim Jin-young chose the piano instead of Rowoon.
To be honest, Rowoon had no intention of blaming it. If he had been in Kim Jin-young’s situation, would he have made a different decision?
After that, Rowoon played Kim Jin-young’s tape once more. I made up my mind to understand from the beginning what the pianist Kim Jin-young was like in that performance.
‘For what?’
Often times, such a question popped up in Rowoon’s mind. But maybe this is the way to enjoy music and to properly utilize the essence of music.
Through his Sonata No. 2, Beethoven sent a letter to Haydn to look at himself and admit it.
Through the dog waltz, Chopin sang of longing and gratitude for Sande after she left.
And Rachmaninov shouted out to the world with his Piano Concerto No. 2. That melancholy ate him. But now he has torn the melancholy and gained hope.
Now it was Rowoon’s turn.
On the Raccoon stage, Rowoon planned to write a letter to Jinyoung Kim.
‘What should I say to him?’
Touching the keyboard, Rowoon corrected the scattered thoughts in his mind one by one. Resentment, regret, and awkwardness towards Kim Jin-young. Longing, love, sorry, and gratitude for Lee Yeon-joo. On top of all that, the wounds Rowoon had been harboring were slowly etched.
‘mom.’
When thinking of Lee Yeon-joo, Rowoon’s heart always felt heavy. Without him, Lee Yeon-joo’s life would have been much smoother. I would have maintained a beautiful relationship with Kim Jin-young, and even if it wasn’t him, I would have met a good man and married him. No, it’s okay if you’re not married. Obviously, even if she was alone, she would have walked the world with more presence than any other group.
However, the world in the 90s was not tolerant of single mothers. The prejudices that single mothers have to face are still quite strong.
While raising Rowoon, Lee Yeon-joo had various jobs. I took piano lessons and even started a small private academy. When I came to the US, I went to a classical bar and played on one side of the stage.
All of these were, in fact, clothes that no one thought Lee Yeon-ju would wear.
And Rowoon knew better than anyone why she had to wear clothes that didn’t suit her. It was him. he made her that way It forced her to give up her youth and life.
she said out of habit. ‘happy.’ However, the happiness that is so easily put into the mouth cannot actually be happiness. Just as diamonds, which are more common than stones, cannot have value.