71 – Treadmill
An unknown junior female student bowed in front of me. After staring blankly at that figure, I could barely get a word of rejection out of my mouth.
“…… Sorry. “I have no intention of dating anyone right now.”
The girl who raised her head tried to smile and avoid my gaze.
“Yeah, I guess so… To begin with, I’m a woman… I know it would be a nuisance to say something like this to a senior….”
“……… ….”
In the past, I would have shaken her head and comforted her.
I couldn’t do it now.
“Yeah, but…… I knew I would be rejected, but… Still, I really wanted to convey my feelings!”
Tears well up in her eyes.
“……… ….”
While she was just staring at me without saying anything, the female student turned around and left the place.
“That… Well then… ! “Sir, I’m sorry!”
No, there is nothing to be particularly sorry about.
Because conveying your feelings requires a lot of courage.
Because it is not a sin for a person to like another person.
It’s something that can’t be helped, so there’s no need to feel guilty just because of that.
Normally, I would have given such common words of comfort.
I couldn’t do it anymore.
I was able to say this because I had never experienced anything like that before and had never truly felt an emotion that touched my heart. That kind of superficial advice.
I think of the back of the female student who ran away in tears.
Did I also look like that to Haru-chan?
From noble mtl dot com
“What number is this? “Isn’t it already over double digits this year alone?”
“…… Sayoko.”
Sayoko approached and looked in the direction where the female student standing next to me had disappeared.
“It’s a return day worth celebrating. “She says everyone is waiting.”
After the injury was completely healed, it was the first practice for the track and field team in a long time.
“But…” “For some reason, it wasn’t like you.”
“…… What… “You mean?”
I vaguely knew what Sayoko was talking about. She deliberately does it without knowing.
“I didn’t know she would push me away so coldly. In the past, I would say it more politely, or express my gratitude… “Didn’t you make it up in many ways?”
“You’re decorating it… ….”
It was sincere.
At that time, she truly believed that, so she just said it.
“Well, I guess this is good as is. “It would be better than torturing hope by leaving room for nothing.”
“……… ….”
“Do you know? “Some of your fan club members were dumped by you.”
Saying sarcastically, Sayoko turned her body towards her playground. She followed her out of there.
As I greeted my teammates and returned to practice to warm up, my head was filled with other thoughts.
It is better to coldly push it away than to leave room for nothing.
Hope Advisor.
The combination of those two incongruous words seeped deeper into my heart than ever before.
Should we be thankful that there is hope? Or should I suffer from the pain of it disappearing like a mirage before my eyes?
Is it called torture to be unable to let go of this feeling while falling into that endless cycle and spinning on a treadmill?
In that case, there is no word that fits my heart better than that.
Now I have learned how to smoothly participate in practice while thinking about other things. I took a deep breath and looked at the far reaching point.
Run at the start signal.
Now I no longer have to worry about someone else’s existence. Because he was no longer here.
“………… Phew.”
As I crossed the finish line, I looked back. Sayoko, who measured the record, was looking this way with her eyes wide open.
“…… “Has it fallen that far?”
It was my first time measuring records since my injury.
I approached her, encouraging myself to work hard from now on.
“Are you really rested?”
“……… “That’s right.”
As I stared at her, not understanding the meaning of her question, Sayoko showed me the timer in her hand.
“Not a single form died….”
After looking at that record, I thought there was no need to worry.
“No, it’s shorter than that…” .”
I turned my head to the small cheering that came from somewhere. The female students gathered outside the playground were whispering and looking in this direction.
The number of people has definitely decreased compared to before, and the instances of taking pictures or shouting have disappeared. Sometimes, my voice would rise like that, as if I couldn’t stand it.
“Do you care? Should I call the manager and have them disperse?”
“…… Manager?”
“Not the military, but the newly elected kids. “It’s been a while since I left, but I’m still looking for it.”
“……… It did.”
After being scolded by Sayoko, who recognized my thoughts with just that one word and my facial expression, I smiled bitterly.
I shook my head and turned my back.
“No, it’s okay. Even if you leave it as is.”
“…… “As long as it’s okay with you.”
I wouldn’t have paid much attention to fan clubs in the past.
My thoughts have changed slightly now.
“Now, wait a minute…” Eri?”
I approached them and waved slightly.
Those who had been whispering were surprised and cheered.
“…… “Something has changed.”
I could hear Sayoko’s voice muttering behind me. I myself couldn’t tell what had changed.
***
I don’t really like listening to or singing songs. However, it was not enough to make me want to come forward and oppose it. In the first place, I didn’t have much desire for the act of playing.
“…… Aoi! “Bring me some snacks there!”
“Yes? I can not hear that!”
“Give me a bowl over there!”
I saw several members come forward and run around holding microphones. They run around and sing, and in the background, they shake tambourines and chat with each other.
“When are you coming?”
“A little later. “I’m a little late because I have work to do.”
“What~ What kind of schedule do you have when you’re not even involved in club activities?”
“I don’t know. But thanks to you, I finished practice early and came to have fun like this.”
“That’s right. Ahahahaha.”
Is it too late?
I see.
I sipped my drink and looked around blankly. Spacious and bright room, members gathered together. Loud music and echoing voices.
Why am I here?
I’m somehow getting sick of it.
When you get up to leave for a moment with the excuse of going to the bathroom.
“Oh~~! Come!”
“Why are you so late!!”
“hahahaha… Sorry.”
I sat down on the road.
The manager, the reason for today’s meeting, opened the door, came in, and bowed his head.
“But why karaoke?”
“Because I didn’t hear the song the manager sang at the last after-party!”
“I quickly ran away because I didn’t like it~”
“Now there’s no Yuuki to step forward!”
The manager looked around while saying hello to the staff members who welcomed him. He seemed to be looking for an empty seat, and members of the team were urging him to sit down by tapping on the seats next to him.
“……… Ah.”
His eyes met mine as he was smiling as if he was embarrassed.
Soon, he moved his body and slowly approached me and put down the bag next to me.
“Senior. Hello.”
“Oh, yes…” .”
“Next to… “Can I sit down?”
“Sir, it doesn’t matter.”
He naturally leans forward and sits next to me. His shoulders and legs touched slightly, but he didn’t care and stretched out his hand to take the drink.
“What~ Are you saying you don’t like being on my lap!”
“How can I sit there…” .”
“Look at you sitting right next to the captain. Do you think that will help you avoid the microphone?”
“It’s not like that…” .”
The manager waved his hand and looked back.
When we met his gaze, he smiled.
“I’m sorry I’m late.”
“Ah…… No. Are you okay.”
After giving the apology, he spoke again with the members.
I couldn’t move from that spot for a while, so I quietly drank my drink and listened to their conversation.
“Ah, senior. “Didn’t you say you were going to the bathroom?”
When the member across from me asked, I shook my head.
If you leave this seat now, there will definitely be someone sitting there when you come back.
In a noisy atmosphere, even though I couldn’t have a conversation, I steadfastly stayed next to him and looked at him from the corner of my eye.
“Oh, come to think of it, I saw you the other day!”
“What?”
“The manager is on the bus with another woman!”
A member of the club brought up a story that caught everyone’s attention.
“Isn’t that Kato?”
“No! There’s that kid who recently transferred to school! “Red hair!”
“Could it be Shiraishi!?”
She was the center of many rumors even on campus.
The story that Shiraishi, the child of the conglomerate, and his manager were alone together quickly became the center of attention. The members surround him and ask questions as if interrogating him.
Did he leave his girlfriend and go out with another woman? What is your relationship with Shiraishi?
“…… We’re just friends. “It’s not what seniors think.”
“Then why were we sitting next to each other?”
“Then can we sit separately?”
I glanced at him as he struggled to explain while enduring a barrage of questions.
“…… “Everyone, leave it at that.”
I stood up, stretching out my arms and pushing them away.
“Manager. “I’m going to get you a drink, will you come with me?”
“Ah, yes!”
The manager stood up quickly, as if he wanted to get out of this interrogation room.
Leave the room like him.
I was heading somewhere alone with Shiraishi.
I was also concerned about that, but it definitely wasn’t for the reason the members suspected.
Because he is not that kind of person.
However, just as the manager joined the track and field team… I thought there must be some kind of reason.