046. The Witch’s Man (4)
Honestly, Owen didn’t expect Lucia to react like that.
It was an unfamiliar expression.
Apology.
Lucia couldn’t bring herself to say anything with a face full of apologies.
Owen had thought that Lucia would naturally accept his confession and be pleased.
Wasn’t this the moment Lucia had longed for and yearned for?
For him to say he loves her and wholly become her person.
So he added that she didn’t need to apologize, but Lucia still remained silent.
The meal continued quietly.
While eating, Lucia drank wine as if something was bothering her.
“You might get drunk.”
Despite Owen’s concerned words, Lucia reassured him and tilted her wine glass.
By the time the alcohol in the wine glass had disappeared about three times.
Owen hesitated whether he should stop Lucia.
Since the author of ＜Empire’s Flower＞ had once released character details, he knew that Lucia was weak to alcohol.
“Let me refill your glass.”
However, before Owen could say anything, a staff member approached and refilled Lucia’s glass.
Lucia naturally picked up the wine glass again.
The wine glass was refilled two more times.
She had practically consumed six glasses.
Considering Lucia’s tolerance being three glasses of low-alcohol wine, she had far exceeded her limit.
Fortunately, the meal ended on time.
Owen hurriedly led Lucia out of the restaurant.
Although it didn’t seem like she would cause a scene while drunk, if anything happened, Lucia would feel embarrassed.
“Ah….”
However, on the restaurant’s stairs, she stumbled.
Just before she fell, Owen caught Lucia.
Then, he held her in his arms.
“Wrap your arms around my shoulders.”
Owen whispered in Lucia’s ear.
In her drunken state, Lucia, forgetting her embarrassment, casually stretched her arms and wrapped them around his neck.
As they descended the stairs, Lucia leaned her head on Owen’s shoulder.
For a moment, Owen’s body tensed as if he was momentarily tense, but Lucia just leaned quietly, murmuring words.
“I suddenly remembered…. that day, what Mari said.”
The words that came out of Lucia’s mouth were an unexpected story.
Owen was puzzled.
If it were Maria, she would be Lucia’s personal maid.
There was no reason for her to bring up what a personal maid had said.
“Looks like someone’s had quite a bit to drink.”
Having reached this conclusion, Owen strode forward.
Just then, the carriage arrived, waiting for them.
“Maria told me… to think about how Owen treats me.”
However, Owen had no choice but to stop at Lucia’s continued words.
It was because he had no idea that Maria, a personal maid, would say such things.
“Come to think of it, Owen was a peculiar person. He would react sensitively to every word I said.”
Lucia, drunk, was more candid than usual.
She didn’t filter any of her thoughts and just let them out as they were.
“It was like he was treating me as if I were absolute. As if he would do anything I said, anything I wanted. That was strange.”
“….”
“Owen put me before himself. That was absurd. In this world, who prioritizes others over themselves?”
Lucia was completely unable to understand from the beginning.
Because Owen’s way of loving was unfamiliar to her.
She had never experienced such a love before.
It was only now that Owen realized.
There was a reason why Lucia had looked so apologetic at the restaurant.
She wanted to have Owen.
So she used him as she pleased, manipulated his situation for her own benefit, and moved him for what I desired.
That was typical of Lucia.
She had always done this for what she wanted.
But she had never had someone she wanted act like Owen did.
No one, in this world, in his world.
No one had looked at her with as much affection as Owen did.
“But today, you even said it. That I don’t have to love you. That you don’t expect that. That you don’t want anything.”
Lucia, leaning on Owen’s shoulder, looked up at him.
Seemingly very drunk, she had let go of her words without realizing.
For some reason, Owen found it pleasing and replied with a faint smile.
“That’s right.”
As the two continued their conversation, a servant who had been sitting nearby approached, curious.
Seeing this, Owen resumed his walk.
The servant quickly dispelled the curiosity and opened the carriage door.
Owen got into the carriage, still holding Lucia.
He could have seated her across from him, but he didn’t.
He sat there, holding her in his arms.
This was his desire sneaking out during her drunkenness.
One of the few selfishnesses he could express, having realized the boiling emotions of love.
“You even said that all I wanted was my happiness. You have no idea how surprised I was.”
“Was it that surprising?”
“Of course! Owen, humans are inherently selfish. They are a species who find themselves the most dreadful.”
“Hmm… is that so?”
At Lucia’s words, Owen tilted his head slightly.
He didn’t quite understand.
He knew Lucia thought that way.
Her world was full of such people.
And she was that kind of person too.
She must have believed that.
But…
“Not everyone is like that.”
Owen knew that there were many selfish people in the world.
But not everyone was selfish.
There were selfless people too.
Just as there were bad and good people, there were both selfish and selfless people in the world.
“Being selfish isn’t necessarily bad.”
But I didn’t think being selfish was necessarily bad.
As long as you don’t cross the line, does it really matter what you do?
“Not everyone acts that way, it’s just you, Owen.”
Cook, Lucia’s index finger poked Owen’s cheek.
Owen blinked as his cheek was suddenly poked deeply.
While he was still dazed, Lucia spoke up.
“You’re strange. I never even wanted happiness in the first place, so does it make sense for you to wish for my happiness?”
“Don’t you wish for happiness?”
“I don’t even know what happiness is, so no.”
“…”
Seeing Owen’s shocked expression, Lucia touched his cheek again.
This time, it was not her index finger but the palm of her hand that made contact.
“Why do you make wounded puppy eyes, again? I really can’t understand.”
Lucia sighed as she gently tapped Owen’s cheek.
“Saying that one should take responsibility for their own feelings, not to apologize, and then saying you can’t understand why I don’t know happiness, is that fair?”
“It’s obvious.”
“What’s obvious? Is it just obvious to Owen?”
“Because I love you, that’s why. Wishing for the happiness of someone you love is simply natural.”
Lucia fell silent at Owen’s response.
Even in his drunken state, it seemed like his mouth was sealed shut.
She seemed like she wanted to say something, her lips twitched, but she couldn’t bring herself to speak in the end.
“Don’t apologize after saying something like that.”
“I’ve never had a reason to apologize, you know.”
“I don’t usually feel sorry either.”
“But why?”
When Owen asked, Lucia stared at him intently.
Owen tilted his head in confusion.
Lucia reached out and tousled Owen’s hair.
Once again, Owen blinked in confusion, prompting her to speak.
“Because you’re too affectionate. Coming to me with such affection and sincerity… “
Affectionate and sincere.
Owen pondered Lucia’s words carefully.
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He furrowed his brow, trying to figure it out, but a clear answer didn’t come to mind.
What did it mean to be affectionate and sincere?
“Don’t think too deeply. It just means you’re a good person. A truly perfect person, Owen.”
“Me?”
Lucia’s answer was affirmative.
A good person, a perfect person.
Owen became even more perplexed.
Was I really a good person?
Definitely not a perfect person.
“Yeah. More perfect than anyone I’ve ever seen, than anything I’ve ever known. You’re so perfect that I worry I might blemish you.”
As Owen pondered, Lucia added an explanation.
“But that doesn’t really matter, you know…”
If she had mentioned blemishing him further, Owen would have been willing to take it as a compliment.
But he didn’t bring it up, fearing she might be startled.
“We’ve arrived.”
And the carriage came to a stop.
They were now in front of the Edelte Manor.
Owen helped Lucia down from the carriage, holding her close.
Knights and maids who had come to greet Lucia were waiting in front of the mansion.
With Lucia securely in his arms, Owen got off the carriage nonchalantly.
“I’ll send the next appointment through a letter.”
Lucia nodded with a smile.
“Alright.”
“Then. I hope you have sweet dreams.”
As Lucia bid Owen a comfortable farewell, a brief commotion arose among the servants.
Maintaining a casual expression, Owen bid Lucia goodnight and returned to the carriage.
On the way back to the Verdin Manor, Owen pondered in silence.
I came to realize that my feelings were not just a passing fan sentiment.
Whether Logan had intended it or not, “The Witch’s Man” had given him various insights and thoughts.
“Love….”
Owen slowly lowered his eyelids, reciting the unfamiliar word.
It was an emotion he had just discovered.
Something he had never experienced before.
But just the realization alone made his fingertips tingle.
The fast pace of his heartbeat and the loud sound of it were vividly felt, and every time he met Lucia’s gaze, his emotions surged.
Like a ripening apple, he was terribly inexperienced in love.
He only hoped Lucia wouldn’t find out.
That he was a person foolishly and recklessly in love.
Yet, despite that, he was greedy, wanting to give Lucia so much.
To fulfill her every wish, to grasp what she held in her hands, and if she desired me, to willingly give myself to her.
He wanted to be the one to teach happiness to her, who claimed not to know it.
He even entertained thoughts of letting her live in a place filled with people who would cherish her.
Despite engaging in a clumsy and imperfect love, Owen was full of desires.
Lucia thought he loved her selflessly, but that was a big misconception.
He was someone trying to love against the world’s opposition, so how could that not be a form of greed?
His desire was to make the villain who hadn’t received love from even the Creator, the author, happy.
Owen had no intention of giving up on this great desire.
He was determined to make it happen, no matter what.