thirst in the throat (3)
“Dangso Alp 3. Please explain why you can understand it. We are soldiers, not murderers.”
Rebellion against the enemy is shot to death.
But there are no enemies here.
Armed soldiers have all been killed, only sick civilian prisoners suffering from starvation.
So far, countless blood has been buried, but there has never been a massacre of civilians who have no strength to resist.
-Returning Alf 3, are you rebelling now?
“It’s not a protest, it’s because I can’t understand it as a field commander. Does the War Command know about this?”
-I do not know yet. There is no time right now. Hurry up and incinerate the operation area.
If this is the case, you have no choice but to protest.
The lieutenant colonel held back the words from coming out.
Since he is a war hero, he can easily overcome one protest.
However, subordinates will be at a great disadvantage in future promotions and troop deployments.
“Captain, we are fine.”
“A human being cannot follow such a ridiculous order. There must be some mistake.”
“I enlisted to protect the country, not to massacre the elderly and weak civilians.”
Sweat dripped from the hand holding the radio.
It’s still breathtaking.
However, a little more hesitation here could lead to an obvious protest.
Before that, the lieutenant colonel prayed fervently to a god he didn’t even believe in, that the headquarters would change his mind.
When the lieutenant colonel did not answer, command called again.
-Return Alf 3, inherit all troops except for the commander. convey confidential information.
“i get it.”
The lieutenant colonel motioned all troops to retreat.
“No soldier listens. I am alone.”
-This information was obtained urgently a few minutes ago. Civilian POWs are now infected with an artificial plague.
“Did you say it was a man-made epidemic?”
-Yes. It is an infectious disease with an incubation period of up to one year. This rescue operation itself is a counter-operation set up by the enemy.
“Reverse operation…”
The lieutenant colonel groaned and looked at the civilian prisoners in the distance.
In the eyes where all hope had been turned off, young sprouts of hope were growing little by little, like the sandy fields of the desert after rain.
So it was painful to see more.
– There is no way for them to live anyway. If we withdraw, there is a risk that they will escape the camp and spread the contagious disease to our allies. Possibilities must be blocked.
“······I get it. over.”
He was a war hero who rose from private to lieutenant colonel faster than anyone else.
Without further elaboration, the necessity of the mission was fully understood.
Whether the mind can tolerate it is a separate area.
“Gather the explosives you carry here, and everyone retreat.”
“A battalion commander?”
“It is an order. hurry!”
Cold eyes and shrill voices, the unit members who felt that it was not serious put down the explosives without saying a word.
Explosives piled up like a mountain, and the lieutenant colonel silently installed them all over the camp.
The emaciated prisoners simply stared blankly at them.
Do you not know the meaning of this action, do you not even have the strength to think about it, or do you know it but just accept it…
The lieutenant colonel did not give orders to anyone.
All installation work was done by hand.
The unit members also knew why the lieutenant colonel was moving alone.
It is the commander’s sincerity that he will only cover himself with filthy blood.
“Soldier man… I’m hungry…”
The skinny child held out his sorghum-like arms and begged plaintively.
After thinking for a while, the lieutenant colonel put down the combat rations and canteen.
Members of the unit who watched also came in silently and handed out combat rations and canteens.
In a state of starvation, if you recklessly consume food, you will get sick and die, but no one stopped them from filling their hungry stomachs.
“Everyone go out.”
The troops left without a word.
The lieutenant colonel watched them eat until the end, confirmed that the canteen was empty, and then turned his back.
After the last supper that was so lacking, they put up with their silent eyes stabbing the back of the head relentlessly, and widened their distance.
When the remote switch was pressed, the bombs exploded all at once, and the camp collapsed.
Since it was deliberately installed more meticulously in an inward direction, the corpse would have died instantly, at least without pain, even if it was gruesome.
“Withdraw.”
A transport helicopter was called, and the troops returned exhausted.
Among the units that started together, the Rashid unit was the first to return.
After waiting for about an hour, the second team finally came out, and other units started returning one after another.
There was no need to ask what the long delayed return time meant.
Because the expression of the commander and the troops emaciated with agony said everything.
“It’s the military police.”
In one unit, as soon as they returned, the commander was arrested and dragged away by the military police.
Even while being dragged away, the commander’s expression was not at all downcast, but rather confident.
Seeing that confidence, the other commanders quietly averted their gaze.
A few days passed like that.
The lieutenant colonel lay limp every day in the barracks, doing nothing.
The silent screams of the victims do not leave my ears.
I understand that it was an order I had to carry out for the sake of my country, and I had no other options, but my hands still trembled days later.
‘If this was all a dream.’
The lieutenant colonel finally remembered that he had completely forgotten about Jeong Seo-hoon’s life for several days.
I remember falling into the abyss after being grabbed by a large army in the mirror at the washbasin, but the next memory was the scene of moving in a helicopter to carry out an operation.
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Next to the missing blank space, Jeong Seo-hun’s memory gradually grows in size.
‘I know what you need right now.’
‘I know what I lack now.’
‘Come yourself. I will show it to you.’
That this mission was an experience I lacked, and a necessary fragment?
The lieutenant colonel shook his head vigorously and denied it.
It is an unacceptable delusion.
Rashid’s world couldn’t have been built on such nonsense.
‘Comet····· Lens······.’
I mumbled without a sound, losing focus, but suddenly the cloth of the barracks was lifted.
“Battal Captain Rashid, the Marshal has arrived.”
The deeply entrenched habit of a soldier jumps up and stands up.
As I moved to the headquarters following the orderly, the 6th General Staff greeted me by turning their chairs.
“I heard you did a great job. Do you know why I came?”
“Are you getting promoted?”
“A soldier who has made a contribution should be given a proper reward. It was a difficult task, but you did well.”
I heard that there were 3 units that refused to incinerate, and that after the withdrawal, the civilians who had been held there fled and came into contact with the forward guard post that was placed far away.
The headquarters was in an uproar, and the guard post had not yet been withdrawn and was isolated to prevent infection.
“Lieutenant Colonel Rashid, you did the right thing as a soldier. This is the nation’s reward.”
The commander-in-chief removed the rank of lieutenant colonel and gave him a star instead.
The brigadier general, who had been promoted to the second rank, stood dumbfounded and thought of the many lives he had exchanged for this planet.
At least they prayed that the biological clock would stop with the shortest pain possible.
“Let’s repeat the question we asked earlier. Brigadier General Rashid, what are you going to do when the war is over?”
“Acting… I want to be an actor.”
“Learn?”
The commander-in-chief tilted his head in puzzlement.
As if I heard an answer I hadn’t thought of at all.
The veteran’s thick fingertips caressed the gold-glistening rank insignia on his chest.
“By the way, honey, why are your expressions so dark? Aren’t you happy with the promotion?”
“I am happy.”
The Grand Marshal’s fingertips still stroked a shining star.
“Isn’t this what you wanted so badly?”
The voice, which is nothing special, seems to contain a strange significance.
what I desperately wanted.
Does that mean this planet, or does it mean the experience of slaughtering the weak who are unable to resist…?
In an instant, my body trembled, and the bitter cold assaulted my heart.
Instead of asking for help, the child said that he was hungry, and the pupils of the child became huge, and he had a hallucination of swallowing his whole body.
The euphoria of filling the vacancy that was lacking instantly sparked a spark, which soon turned into a terrible self-hatred.
The screams of the unheard victims seemed to turn my head into mush.
I felt that all my senses were fading away.
The Marshal’s calm voice was faintly lagging behind.
– Or, is this not enough?
***
“Seohun?”
Jeong Seo-hun jumped to his senses at the voice of subtle concern.
“Why are you holding your hand against the mirror? Is it because you’re dizzy?”
“How long have I been like this?”
“Five seconds? 6 seconds? Are you really dizzy? Shall I help you?”
“no. It’s fine now.”
The last time I saw it, the water from the sink that had been frozen in the air pours coolly.
Jeong Seo-hoon bent his upper body and put water in his palm.
I washed my face roughly as if I was washing my blood-soaked face. However, no matter how much you wipe, the invisible blood cannot be erased.
Jeong Seo-hoon’s memory was blurred while the explosives were being installed.
Just like when I was first dragged into Rashid’s world and sent.
I carried out the command with heart-to-heart.
To protect the conscience of his subordinates, he took on all the blood by himself.
The rank of brigadier general who exchanged the lives of the victims was not an honor, but a disgraceful and heavy occupation.
But now, actor Jeong Seo-hoon felt a secret joy in filling up his lack, and the human Jeong Seo-hoon became disillusioned with himself.
‘It’s not real. this is real Rashid is just a dream.’
But my heart already admitted that both sides were not lying long ago?
‘I know what you need right now.’
‘Come yourself. I will show it to you.’
The crowd in the mirror, the whispers of another self, seem to be repeating in my ears.
Jeong Seo-hoon continued to wash his face with the momentum to peel off the skin on his face.
“Are you really okay? Doesn’t it look very bad?”
“it’s okay.”
After turning off the water, Jeong Seo-hoon roughly pulled out a disposable towel and wiped his face.
The hurried Last Supper, the pain in the heart that collapses when you press a button, the bitterness of having to follow orders…
‘I subconsciously wanted to enjoy such an experience?’
Sensing an eerie gaze, Jeong Seo-hun turned his gaze away.
In the mirror, there was not a self in everyday clothes, but a self in the uniform of a large army.
Is that really the great army he plays?
Or is the heart of the fallen army reflected in the mirror?
The great army spoke silently.
‘You’ve made up for what we lacked. I’m ready now.’
A large army with the same face whispered with solemn eyes.
‘Are you ready?’
Jeong Seo-hoon, who had been rigid, finally opened his mouth like a monologue.
“······PD-nim.”
“It’s really okay, right?”
“Excuse me, but could you watch the rehearsal separately for a moment? right now.”
“You did that before, but now?”
“I got my feelings.”
At those words, Jang Seung-won’s eyes widened.
“Oh, then you should take a quick look at it now. Let’s wait, the cinematographer has gone home, so I’ll go quickly and set things up. It will take about 10 minutes, so you can come slowly!”
Producer went out excitedly, and only then did Jeong Seo-hun frantically enter the bathroom, hold the toilet bowl with both hands, and vomit.
The transparent tears that my stomach poured out instead dripped into the toilet bowl for a long time.
That was so creepy.