Episode 189 – I was the stain on my parents
I can’t remember when it was. Was it because I fell, or because I broke a piece of glass my mother cherished? At least it must have been when she was still alive, but she wiped my tears with a handkerchief and said,
“My son, men don’t cry over trivial things like that. No matter how hard it is, can you stand strong and not cry?
“Yes, I know, mother…”
My mother put on a sad face and hugged me.
“I’m sorry you kept leaving me.”
I haven’t cried since that day. People around me praised me for saying that I had matured and that I was a mature son.
I can’t remember when it was. At least during my father’s lifetime, he grabbed me by the shoulder and said,
“Damian, when Dad dies, you will be the head of the family. You have to protect your younger siblings, okay?”
“Yes, I understand, Father.”
Dad stroked my hair,
“… I’m sorry. You grew up too early because of us. At your age, you should cry and scream loudly…”
From that day on, I put my younger siblings first no matter what. I prioritized my younger siblings over myself, took over the good things, and when my younger sibling did something wrong, I took the blame instead. People around me praised me for being a good older brother.
But I didn’t know. I just did it because my mother and father would be happy. They’ve always been busy, so I just didn’t want to be a new nuisance to them.
It was one day. As usual, I tried to leave without an escort or anything. If the guards catch up, they’ll stop you from going to the slums. Most of my younger siblings were weak or very young, so the attendants had little time to pay attention to me. So if you sneak out and come back right away, no one will notice. Moreover, both mother and father were absent that day.
But there was a problem. Before leaving the house, he was caught by Glaceon’s mother. There was a tradition in my family to call me mother even if it wasn’t my real mother.
“Are you going out again?”
“….Yeah.”
“Unless it’s Lady Lorsha or Lady Verner, you’ll leave no matter how much I warn you.”
“…Yes. Are you going to tell the two of you by any chance?”
Mother’s hands were spicy. When fighting a kid before, I almost killed him using my magic without even realizing it. And I knew because I was beaten by my mother who heard the story. He was scolded for almost killing someone by using such magic in a fight between children.
But what was more painful than the pain was her mother’s sad face.
“No. You must have your own thoughts. You are a deep thinker.”
“… thank you.”
I was about to leave, but Glaceon’s mother held my hand and gave me a bag full of sweets.
“And when Rachel was crying because she dropped the snack she was eating, she said she gave you yours. I’ll have to repay that favor.”
“I’m sorry, Glaceon’s mother. I hate sweets. Give it to Rachel.”
“I’ve already given it to Rachel. Besides, I made this myself, so try it. It’s a work that I worked hard enough to write down the recipe because I wanted to make it with my daughter later.”
“… thank you.”
The sweets I secretly ate on the way out of the mansion were very sweet. I didn’t like it. no it was delicious I thought it would be nice if you could make it again next time.
—–
The air in the slums was always refreshing. The smell of alcohol, strange medicine, and a musty smell mingled, but at least it was more refreshing than the air where the nobles were gathered. As always, I knocked on the door of the hideout. Then a familiar voice was heard.
“What are you here to buy?”
It meant giving me a password.
“One toki and two crows.”
Then the door opened, and everyone inside greeted me. My friends were the ones I could call friends. It was a group that came to this neighborhood by chance and helped a child who was being beaten, and then joined by half force.
“Why are you so late? You’re our unit commander.”
“I came all the way here, but the walking time is different from you. Besides, I was caught on the way.
In the first place, it was strange that I was the second youngest here and being called that.
“Why is our captain officially calling you the unit commander…”
“If you say more than that, I will seriously beat you.”
Then my friend Elina ran to the captain crying. The captain scolded me by feeding a powerful fist to the top of my head.
“You fool for not even understanding a woman’s heart.”
“I don’t even want to know that in the first place.
Another sharp fist hit the top of my head.
“If you disregard my brother’s teachings, pay for that sin with pain.”
“You’re only three years older, so what…”
“A three-year age difference in boyhood is like a 30-year age difference, Damien.”
Even though these guys knew that I was a child of a prestigious family, they treated me without fault. He might have liked that, but the captain, Neil, was too innocent. If I had done this to another noble, I would have run away.
“In the first place, you guys aren’t too flawless. Let’s just say a little bit.”
“The only thing you have to hide is snakes and worms, Damian.”
“It’s not the story of the transgression…”
“Besides, even though we all have different births and social statuses, we are all like family. I don’t know if you’re a newcomer, but we have to risk our lives for each other.”
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No, I mean I have a separate family. Besides, I don’t know what kind of bizarre family play this is with 13 little kids. I know it’s like this, but I don’t mean elephants.
“So why did you ask to meet today?”
They said they had to gather today, so they took the risk of being caught, and actually came all the way to Glaceon’s mother. I won’t forgive you if you call me because it doesn’t pay off.
“Let’s play.”
“…What?”
“I just called to play.”
“… Neil, you want to die.”
“Damian, life is always a series of rankings. It is the law to protect and practice the most important things first.”
“So what justification does that give to your bullshit now?”
There was no doubt that he would be greatly scolded by his mother or father for this. Having come at such a risk, I needed at least one reason not to kill Neil.
“I mean, you guys are number one, and what you play next is number two. So, since we’re bored, why don’t we rob the top warehouse?
“What kind of thieves are you idiot. How the heck are you bored and robbing the upper warehouse?”
“Come on, don’t worry about trivial things and let’s go.”
“It’s not trivial, you bastard.”
—–
I got caught up in the force of those idiots again. The son of a prestigious family robbed the warehouse of the merchant company by hanging out with the children of the slums. It was a story that would not be heard even as a joke. Well, I wasn’t bored when I was with them. It was fun to be a bully who beat up thugs in the slums, a thief who robbed the warehouses of a gang, or an arsonist who set fire to a store that scammed the elderly and children.
To be honest, I hated wizards, nobles, and knights. I just wanted to live freely with them on that street.
Thinking of that, I secretly went back to my room through the window. Now, just pretending to sleep was perfect. No, it had to be perfect.
“You’re late, my son. You look like you’ve been playing pretty fancy.”
“hahahaha… do you plan on forming some kind of brigade in the slums?”
How did you get caught by your father and mother…? No, I heard that my father and mother would return the day after tomorrow. Glaceon’s mother, who was standing in the corner, said with an apologetic face.
“… I’m sorry. The two of you came in earlier than planned and found you, so I got caught.”
It was like that. I had to calculate that there could be some error in the schedule, but since I was so young, my ability didn’t reach that far.
My father asked with a puzzled look on his face.
“I’ll ask you first, but why do you keep going there? Are you planning on starting a criminal organization? Why do you have a tattoo of a spider with a number written on your back?”
“That’s not…”
Rather than forming a criminal organization, it was as if they were already working there. So it wasn’t a lie.
However, since my mother asked me what I had been doing there, I had no choice but to answer honestly, and I knew for the first time that if I only had a cane that day, my calves could catch fire.
Of course I didn’t cry like my mother said.
In the end, he was only allowed to go play once a week after his calves were beaten until they turned red.