202 – reason for existence
Right after Seo Ji-yoon’s story ends…
Na-sun started to look confused for a moment.
‘So… the Seo Ji-yoon I knew died after becoming an Abyss… the person in front of me is another person who only has Ji-yoon’s memories… I guess that’s what it meant?’
It was something that could not be accurately interpreted from her point of view, having no knowledge in this field.
However, as much as she had heard that another personality could be born due to a great shock or a certain event in the past, she thought that this might be a similar case.
It feels like a by-product of Seo Ji-yoon being eroded by the Abyss.
“Anyway.. That means that you are something other than Seo Ji-yoon, who has been stained by the Abyss, or the Abyss itself, and you have no intention of being hostile towards us.. Can you see it that way?”
“Yeah.. Unlike my previous main personality, at least now I don’t seem to have anything to do with the Abyss. In the case of the main personality, it was controlled by orders from above, but when I killed him, even that link was broken together…”
“.. that’s right..”
I didn’t understand exactly because it was like a story about the psychological world, but I didn’t know if I wouldn’t have to be so vigilant if what this guy said was true.
Of course, you should always be prepared for emergencies.
“So, what are you going to do with me now? Are you going to send me back to that narrow place? Or are you going to cut your throat like this?”
Seo Ji-yoon, with a dark expression on her face, talks about a not-so-good future, either way.
Regarding this, Na-sun remained silent for a while and began to think.
‘Umm… Anyway, I think it’s a bit like that for me to judge anything rashly. Well, in the end, the decision will be made by the upper echelons and Jinhyeon oppa.’
As they were watching their conversation even at this moment, there was a high possibility that they would have finished grasping the situation and entered into a discussion by now.
Of course, as it takes a little time for the results to come out, you will have to take care of Seo Ji-yoon’s personal affairs for a while.
Against such a backdrop, Na-sun looked at her in front of her eyes and spoke in a calm voice.
“..First of all, your fate from now on will be decided by someone from above, not me. So, in the meantime, stay calm here.”
“!…”
Seo Ji-yoon starts to show a slightly surprised expression at Na-sun’s words.
Then, in a cautious tone, she asked Na Seon a question.
“… Are you okay? Even if you bring a guy like me into the house…”
“There’s nothing wrong with it. Wouldn’t it be more effective for me, an S-class hunter, to keep an eye on you rather than letting a dangerous being like you roam the outside?”
“Yeah…well, I guess so.”
Seo Ji-yoon looks a bit depressed at Na-sun’s words.
Seeing her like that, Naji-sun spoke in a voice that contained a bit of indifference.
“Then, go ahead and wash up a bit. Take off your clothes and give them to me. The clothes to change into are the same size as mine anyway, so I’ll lend you mine.”
“… yea, I got it.”
At Na-sun’s words, Seo Ji-yoon got up from her seat and started heading to the bathroom.
Seo Ji-yoon moves with slightly heavy steps.
Then, she went into the bathroom and slowly took off her jacket.
Immediately after that, her pure white body began to be seen in the mirror.
Seeing her body for the first time, except for the color, no different from what she had in her memory. She couldn’t take her eyes off him for a moment.
Relatively small body… Originally, the red color was tied in two strands, but now the hair has changed to white silver.
And, a face that feels familiar yet alien.
In this way, while examining her body, which has a human shape but is not human, Seo Ji-yoon carefully began to caress her reflection in the mirror.
‘this… I… who has the name Seo Ji-yoon… The existence called me..’
Although it hadn’t been long since she occupied this body, it hadn’t even been a year since her consciousness was born.
But… the person you see in the mirror at this moment.
Seo Ji-yoon was definitely herself, not someone else.
All other consciousnesses in this body have disappeared from this world.
All that was left was her.
In other words, the owner of the body in front of her eyes is only herself.
There was no reason to fight to the death with someone inside because of this anymore.
But,
In Seo Ji-yoon’s mind, recognizing such a fact at this moment, only empty feelings emerged.
She did everything in her power to kill other personalities simply to survive.
Now that that purpose has been accomplished… she no longer has any particular goal or purpose left.
What could be called the goal of her human days was of no interest to her now.
After becoming the Abyss, the part of order and purpose was nothing more than a cruel and meaningless act covered in madness to the current Seo Ji-yoon.
Unlike the personality that moved with a clear sense of purpose in the past.
Now Seo Ji-yoon had nothing left.
‘..what am I here for?
Feeling deep doubts, confusion, and futility about that fact, Seo Ji-yoon stood in front of the mirror and stared blankly at herself, like a hardened stone statue.
That moment..
-“yes. Nah Jinhyun oppa. yea, I got it. Then the results will come later..”-
Najiseon’s voice came from beyond the door.
As soon as I overheard it,
Suddenly, an image of a person started to pass through Seo Ji-yoon’s mind.
‘..this..jin..hyun..?’
An existence she herself had forgotten for a while.
But… the person whose now disappeared personality repeated his name countless times.
When I think of that person…
In Seo Ji-yoon’s eyes, which had been locked in emptiness, a strange sense of vitality began to dwell.
‘..Lee Jin-hyun… That person…that person…was…”
At that moment, for the first time, Seo Ji-yoon suddenly felt a feeling of shortness of breath.
A sensation that I feel for the first time since I was born.
It’s different from the time when I struggled according to my simple instinct…
Such a sense of having a certain purpose.
Recognizing that fact…
Seo Ji-yoon felt her heart pounding and sat down in her seat.
Seo Ji-yoon gasping for breath as she clutches at her trembling chest.
She curled up in her seat and began to tremble.
Emotions that suddenly start to come in like waves.
Guilt.. fear.. and.. sorry.
Seo Ji-yoon couldn’t come to his senses for a while because of the emotion he knew in memory but first encountered in real life.
“Yes.. right.. I.. I.. have something.. to say.. to that person.. must.. must.. have to..’
With those words, Seo Ji-yoon crouched down on her seat and began to shed tears.
Strange yet painful…
At the same time, it erases her emptiness in an instant…
Because of the intense emotion that gives it a purpose that is so clear…
*
“Did you cry?”
“… ”
Seo Ji-yoon came out of the shower room after a considerable amount of time had passed.
Looking at her swollen eyes as if she had just shed tears rather than just taking a shower, Na-sun Na asked with a bit of concern.
And about this…
Seo Ji-yoon silently nodded, and then moved her body to stagger a bit and lay down on the sofa as if collapsing.
Seo Ji-yoon falls asleep right after that.
Seeing her like this, Naji-sun was puzzled, but thought of letting her sleep for now.
‘No matter how much… I’ll catch a cold if I fall asleep like this.’
While thinking about that, Na-sun carefully wipes her still wet hair with a towel.
With a sense of caution in case ‘friend’ might break..
After completely wiping Seo Ji-yoon’s hair, she covered her body with a blanket.