12 . Rihanna, her sincerity (full)
Her thoughts were finally organized. It’s a situation where I said to meet in the evening, but I wanted to see the end quickly as I decided once.
I got out of bed and headed straight downstairs. Rihanna, who saw me coming downstairs faster than expected, jumped up from her seat and called my name in a low voice.
“Ain….”
I told her to put her hand down as if to ask her to sit down.
“It’s okay. Sit down.”
I walked past the staring Rihanna and went into the kitchen, pulling out an unopened bottle of wine from the cupboard.
I hated drinking alone, and I couldn’t drink to 4-year-olds just because they were crazy.
It was old wine given by an elderly man in the village who had passed away from old age, saying that he struggled to raise four children alone without a mother.
It’s an item that I’ve always handled with care in case it would break, but today was a day well worth drinking.
Without hesitation, he opened the wine and called Rihanna.
At my call, Rihanna sprinted like a puppy and stood on one side of the kitchen wall, staring at me.
I set down two clear wine glasses on her table and spoke to Rihanna in a softer tone.
“Wait a minute. Shouldn’t you drink first?”
Before talking to Rihanna, there was one thing I had to confirm. I carefully opened the door where the children were sleeping, and put my head in to check inside.
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Fortunately, the children were sleeping peacefully without knowing the world. If you fall asleep like this, you won’t be able to hear our conversation.
I let out a sigh of relief and walked back to the kitchen where Rihanna was waiting.
Rihanna sat quietly in her seat and waited, just like I said.
Seeing how many times she swallowed saliva in her mouth made me laugh.
I naturally sat across from her and said while holding a glass of wine.
“Take it.”
Lifting her wine glass with clumsy hands, Rihanna took her drink and held out her hand as if she would pour me one too.
Uneasy, but not wanting to upset her, I handed Rihanna her entire bottle of her wine.
The reddish wine was about half full, and I raised my glass lightly as if I was done.
Rihanna smiled bashfully, and as she smelled the wine, she spoke quietly.
“It smells good.”
“Do you have any snacks?”
After her demonstration, Rihanna cracked a joke in a mischievous voice, similar to the casual conversation they had in the past.
“Wait a minute.”
I got up and brought out the beef jerky I had previously made using deer.
“I only have this, isn’t it okay?”
Rihanna nodded and took a small piece of beef jerky straight to her mouth.
It wasn’t until she watched her eat that I also brought her wine to my mouth with a small smile on her lips.
To be honest, I don’t know much about wine. It seems that there are people who make it their job to classify and critique these flavors, but at least I wasn’t.
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From the point of view of a petit bourgeois who is new to luxury wine today, a delicious wine that is good for raising the mood was enough.
The clean scent of grapes lingers in your throat and then smoothly goes down your esophagus.
The clean aftertaste was just right. Even if the children drink this much….
Shaking his head shook his impure thoughts. I asked Rihanna in front of me again.
“How is it?”
Rihanna nodded her head, not even swallowing the jerky in her mouth as her eyes lit up.
“… Tasty!”
“There are still plenty of them, so you can eat more.”
Anyway, if it’s not today, it’s a thing that should be aged for at least 15 more years, that is, the day the children grow up. It wouldn’t be bad to drink it all today.
As the wine was half-empty, Rihanna’s drunken face began to glow red.
My face, reflected in Rihanna’s gaze, is probably showing the same red light as if a blush came up.
As the alcohol went in and the drunkenness rose, the story hidden inside was gradually revealed. The memories of that day that are deeply pressed in the corner of my heart.
The remnants of the day that I could never shake off alone.
Rihanna was the first to speak up.
She tilted her wine glass slightly and looked at me intently.
“Do you remember the day we first met?”
The day I first met Rihanna…. It was a situation that made her laugh just thinking about it. At the time, anger outweighed laughter.
“How could I forget that? You got caught stealing my wallet.”
A fate that started with bad luck, at the time, only the futility and anger she felt at the fact that a beggar had tried to rob her wallet ruled her body.
I reminisced about that time while eating beef jerky.
“I’ve never seen anyone with such quick hands. I managed to convince Leon that he was handing you over to the guards right away.”
At the time, Rihanna, a girl who seemed like she would break at any moment if she touched her, could see the miasma of hating the world in Rihanna’s eyes. No matter what she did, she even showed a desperate determination to live in this filthy reality.
Rihanna smiled like an idiot with her eyes even more stern than back then.
“At that time, I thought it was really over. It’s the first time I’ve tried stealing, and I didn’t expect to be caught right away.”
“That was your first time?”
Rihanna saw my startled expression on her face and opened her mouth in a proud tone as she held her bare chest in front of her.
“Hehe, you know that too, right? I’m pretty quick.”
Rihanna took a sip of her wine and spoke to her one after another.
“Ain, remember that? Two of us… ….”
“Oh, I remember that. You…….”
I can’t even remember how long it’s been since I’ve laughed while talking like this.
Not a party, but memories made with Rihanna alone.
As if being considerate of me, Rihanna recited one by one only the things that happened between the two of them, not the party members.
As the sun went down, the memories deepened.
By the time I filled the transparent wine glass with the blue moonlight coming through the window instead of the red wine with the faint scent of grapes, the resentment that had been oppressing my mind and body disappeared with a glass of alcohol.
“It’s already evening.”
Before I knew it, I looked out the window at the night sky and talked as if muttering.
Already the wine was showing the bottom, and Rihanna, her weak drink, was spinning her head dangerously in a drunken state.
Just as she was about to get up from her bed to put her Rihanna to sleep in her little room, her Rihanna’s eyes suddenly started to fill with tears.
I uttered the words in a puzzled tone and stood awkwardly, keeping an ambiguous distance between Rihanna and her.
“Why?”
Rihanna, instead of answering her, banged her head on her kitchen table and shook her shoulders. Sadness? Pleasure? I couldn’t even guess what kind of emotion it was.
Surely it was a pleasant conversation until just now, and wasn’t it the atmosphere where it was coming to an end?
Rihanna, who had been crying for a long time and was fiddling with her little wine glass, finally opened her mouth in a sobbing voice.
“Like this… I thought I would never be able to talk to you casually again.”
She thought there was a grandiose reason, but the reason that Rihanna said was trivial. I let out a quick sigh and spoke softly, caressing Rihanna’s hair roughly.
“Now that you’re an adult, are you crying over something like that?
All misunderstandings had already been cleared up. No reason to hate Rihanna, no reason why she wouldn’t have her talk with her.
Tears These words were spoken to make fun of Rihanna, who was crying in an unsightly way while her runny nose was dripping, and to change her mood, but the atmosphere that had subsided did not come up easily.
Rihanna got up from her seat, then she looked me straight in the eye and swallowed her cry.
Between the reddened eyes, the shining green eyes were shining more than ever.
“It’s really late to come here now, but I know better than anyone that it’s shameless to say such a thing….”
She collapsed on the spot.
Like an ascetic praying to God, he bowed his head to me.
It seemed that the trembling of her crouching down could be felt all the way here.
“Can’t I forgive you just once, just once? I want to travel by your side, no, if not, I just want to be by your side. I miss you. Your touch, your warm words, your warmth… All the food you always cooked with a smile… All….”
Rihanna was gasping for breath as she spoke.
It is definitely a scene that I envisioned in my head.
The scene where the party members who abandoned me come back to me and ask for forgiveness.
So, are you in a good mood?
Not at all.
I couldn’t say a warm word to her and just watched the situation.
I didn’t have the right to stop her.
I couldn’t trample on her sincerity.
Rihanna raised her head and her face was already stained with tears.
“I miss you…. To me without a family, to me who always lived in darkness… You were my only light.”
After her words, Rihanna waited in tears for my answer.
Even if I said a hundred words of her, would I be able to fully convey her feelings and her sincerity to her?
It’s impossible. To begin with, I’m not a very talkative person. So, the way I would choose was decided from the beginning.
I nodded her head quietly, then opened her arms softly. Seeing that, Rihanna let go of her accumulated sadness and immediately placed her in my chest and wrapped her arms around her waist.
In her arms, Rihanna crumpled her hand into my shirt and rubbed her face wet with her tears.
“Sorry… Sorry! It’s my fault… Ain…. Because I won’t do it again, because I won’t forget you again… If this country is okay… Please let me be by your side….”
Her trembling, sadness, and memories of her past pouring out like a flood.
Man is a forgiving animal.
Do I have the right to rebuke her?
In this cruel age, where forgiveness has already become a joke, can my words shed a ray of light on a single human being?
Only those who know how to forgive can be forgiven.
Only time after I gave my heart to you will tell you what the truth is.