104 – Heist – 2
“Why are you so dead?”
Seol-ah approached me as I was lying face down on the table in the parlor and helplessly tapping the table with my fingers. I grumbled with the sound of Bolmen.
“What is a bamboo statue….”
“You must have said thirty forty-five times that everything you think comes to your face.”
Seol-ah replied as if she was full of energy at my words, then sat down across from me.
“What about the other kids?”
“I don’t know. It’s not like we always stick together. Maybe you’re resting in your room?”
At my question, Seol-ah shrugged her shoulders. It’s like she really doesn’t know.
In fact, for the three days after we came here, our party spent time doing individual activities rather than doing things together. That said, not everyone particularly complained. It’s probably a kind of consideration for me who doesn’t have memories here.
Hestia rarely overslept or spent her time reading in the library. Cordelia worked out along with the knights of the grand duchy in her gymnasium, or eagerly read a book recommended by Hestia in her room.
It feels like it’s been a long time since each of us spent time doing what we wanted to do. I don’t know about Cordelia or Seol-ah, but Hestia and I devoted ourselves to studying during the semester, and even after the vacation, there were so many incidents that we had no time to spare. I even thought that maybe this was the first leisurely time I had after entering the school.
And what were Seol-ah and I doing during such a peaceful break….
“What are you doing here?”
Seol-ah lightly ignored my question, and after making sure that no one was around, she spread out on the table in a similar posture to me. Her cheeks pressed against the table, and in a voice that was hard to hear, she poured out her complaints.
“I’m bored. I’m bored. I’m bored…”
I was literally doing nothing. For me, who was not in puberty and was already confused about my self-identity, this terrifying degree of freedom was unbearable. I didn’t know, but it seems like I was the type to overcome difficulties by concentrating on other things.
“Are you reading a book?”
“It wasn’t fun….”
Of course, it’s not that I haven’t tried this and that. I tried to do swordsmanship training or study at least if I had time left. However, as soon as I grabbed my sword or opened a book, Hestia would appear and nag me.
“Mikhail, I think rest is the most important thing for Mikhail right now. He ran hard for the past semester. Now, wouldn’t Mikhail need to take a break and find out what he really likes?”
“No, Hestia. I like this…”
“Maybe you need to find something you really like?”
“Okay. I’ll look for it.”
Thanks to this, I’ve already had precious time, so I tried my best to make good use of it. However, it was not easy for me, accustomed to modern culture, to enjoy the pleasures of this world with a pure heart, and thanks to this, I am still wasting my time without finding anything to do. I’m not sure, but Seol-ah must be similar to me. In the end, bored people get together and are having a terribly boring time, resonating with bored, bored.
“More than that, is anything really going on?”
Seol-Ah made a few cat-like purring noises as she lay face down, then raised her head halfway. Nothing really happened. It’s just that my mindset has changed a bit. However, Seol-ah was persistent.
“Why are you so persistent? Is it really nothing?”
“I’m not stupid, I have that kind of trouble on my face.
“… Is it so obvious?”
“Thirty forty-five because you can see everything you think on your face, no, this is thirty forty-six times. You said it thirty forty six times. So what happened?”
Putting aside Seola’s boring jokes, I wondered if it would be okay for me to tell her about my troubles. Of course, there was no person more appropriate than Seol-ah to share my concerns. More precisely, Seol-ah was the only person she could confide her worries to. Who else could she confide this to?
Even so, the reason why I couldn’t openly tell her was because I was worried about what to do if I tried to share my worries and ended up multiplying them. If Seol-ah had never had such troubles in her life, wouldn’t she end up polluting Seol-ah’s mind by saying that I took away the life of her original body owner?
After thinking about her, I decided to try her out as carefully as possible.
“Um…. There is something I want to ask you.”
“What is it?”
“What do you think of Lily?”
“What do you think? You’ve heard it many times. A crazy b*tch full of ambition.”
She cut it off, as if she hadn’t thought much further. Well, I don’t think that evaluation is wrong, but that’s not what I’m curious about right now.
“No, not like that. So, what do you think of it as an individual-to-individual relationship or something like that….”
At my words, Seol-ah narrowed her eyes. She then grinned, letting out her euphoric snort.
“I can roughly understand what our juniors are thinking.”
“Junior? Who? I?”
“I’m Bing’s senior. You are my junior.”
“What kind of bullsh*t are you talking about?”
Seol-ah suddenly began to argue with her senior and junior. Like that or not, she seemed to be glad that she had the upper hand for the first time in a long time. Her shoulders shot through her ceiling. After tasting her brief triumph, she asked me in a calmer tone than before if she was satisfied enough.
“Are you worrying about useless things like I took away Mikhail’s life?”
“… !”
“Even so, her face doesn’t reveal even those details, so keep your hands off her face.”
I heard Seol-Ah’s words and I lowered her hand that was clasping my face. My hand was lost and lost in shame. By the way, how did you find out what the hell I was worried about if it wasn’t on my face?
“How did you know?”
“I said junior. Yes, that was the process I went through. I can get a rough estimate just by looking at how I’ve been feeling bad since I talked to my mother on the first day, or how I just thought about it as an individual.”
I looked at Seol-ah with an expression of disbelief. She said he was so smart… ?! Seeing my gaze, Seol-ah raised the bridge of her nose even more than before and smirked. That look is pretty nasty. Come to think of it, I’m really pissed off. Such a smart kid, why is she always there without thinking and then she reports after the first action?
Perhaps noticing that the meaning in my gaze gradually changed from surprise to anger, Seol-ah hurriedly lowered the bridge of her nose and shoulders to their normal levels and cleared her throat.
“Kuhm. It’s because I’m a bit quick-witted.”
“Notice? Noticed? Is it because such a quick-witted person provokes the stalker who is chasing her, not knowing whether or not she has lost her eyesight, and gets caught?”
“No, when are you talking….”
“If anyone sees it, they will think it was a story from a few years ago. It’s not even half a year ago, right?”
Seol-ah, who brought up the story that she was quick-witted without even noticing her, quickly shrank as if she hadn’t been stabbed herself when I brought up the story of Wilhelm. With her good intentions, I came to her to listen to my troubles, and decided to stop harassing her and tell her everything about her being caught anyway.
“Ehh. You’re right.”
“What?”
“I thought I might have stolen Mikhail’s life. It’s true that I was wearing a bamboo statue because of that.”
At the sudden start of the consultation, Seol-ah tucked her hips in and sat upright. She took an awkwardly upright pose, and she stared me in the eye without saying a word.
“What are you doing?”
“Ready to consult.”
“This?”
“It is necessary to show a well-groomed appearance in order to give trust to the client….”
“Where did you learn that?”
“Culture.”
“What are your grades?”
“… C.”
“Let’s just do what we do.”
“Che. I wonder if I finally put what I learned to use.”
Seol-ah’s posture collapsed in an instant like a sandcastle hit by her waves. She grumbled, sprawled across the sofa, just like when she first entered her room. Either way, I met her Grand Duchess and told her all about what I was thinking.
She listened to everything I said, shut her mouth, nodded her head, and then she stood up from her seat. She grabbed my nose with my index and middle fingers and shook it slightly. It was a gesture as if she was playing a prank on her pet, such as a cat or a dog. What is this? Is she a declaration of war? Fortunately for her, however, it was not a declaration of war.
“… What are you doing?”
“Have you ever heard that only 4% of all human worries are real?”
“4%?”
“40% Will never happen, 30% will happen, and um… , I heard it so long ago that I can’t remember. 20% Is trivial and 4% is out of hand. So, the real worry that we can change is only 4%.”
“98% All together?”
“Then let’s see if trivial things are 22%. Anyway, that’s not the point! It is said that the worries you are worrying about now have already happened and are beyond your control.”
That’s a fact I know. Rather than talking about percentages, the part that I am worried about is something that has already happened and is out of my hands. However, knowing it with your head and accepting it with your heart are two different things. The face of the Grand Duchess, reminiscing about childhood Mikhail, looked too happy to simply dismiss it as something that had already happened regardless of my will.
“What did you do?”
“Me?”
“You said you had the same idea while talking about seniors earlier.”
“Oh, that. It must have been about a month since I came here. I was worried about the same thing as you.”
I felt uncomfortable with her words. Seol-ah had such thoughts before meeting me?
“Wait a minute, before you met me, you were teasing me, saying that everyone here doesn’t feel like a human being.”
“Because I’ve never been salty?! I was a bit emotional, but… I couldn’t help it because I was so concentrated at that time!”
At my words, Seol-ah jumped up and screamed. I don’t think there is a feeling that I was overly excited because my emotions were ‘a little’.
“I’m not some kind of psychopath, so there’s no way I thought that way from the beginning!”
“Wasn’t it?”
“Of course not!”
I felt a little embarrassed and stroked my back. Hey, it’s not like this has happened to her often, but as soon as she arrived, she got used to it, so since this is a novel anyway, I have to live doing everything I want to do, there’s no way I could have done it.
“At first, like you, I worried a little about my identity, and I wondered if I had stolen Lily’s life, and I was also tormented by her guilt. Besides, I did more because I was always with my family.”
“But why….”
“After thinking about it over and over again, it was rather comfortable when I thought that it had happened anyway and that there was nothing I could do about it. Lily wasn’t going to come back just because she sold the land by herself, and she promised herself that she would work hard and live well. What is that promise… , Bouncing in a bit strange direction? Although it was a problem….”
I know it’s a good story, but why is the ending like that…. I know what Seol-ah wants to tell me. Doesn’t it often appear in movies or dramas? The kind of scene where you think of someone who died and think that no one would want you to do this more. Even though she was overindulging in it and almost caused a catastrophe.
“Anyway! You need to think more positively. And from now on, you can do well!”
Seola stood up and patted my shoulder. She threw positive comments at me in an attempt to somehow comfort me, who still looked complicated, but it didn’t come as much comfort.
“Yes. I have to persevere. Okay.”
I tried to smile at Seol-ah. After all, the answer is time. Even if it’s just a few years, no months, no, at least a few days, you might be able to shake it off and be okay. And it came sooner than I thought.
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