Is That My Alter Ego chapter 19

19 – Regret

“Is everyone ready?”

“Yes, Commander!”

“Good. There will be a dimensionally different danger than the previous missions. Make sure to do your best.”

Watching the mercenaries respond with a determination even stronger than before, I spoke and returned to my office for a final check.

“Phew… this will be the last one.”

It hadn’t been an incredibly long time together, but I took a moment to look around my now somewhat beloved office.

‘Status Window.’

[Name: Venice / Age: 29 / Gender: Male / Status: Countdown.]

[Unique Ability (Magic Sight): Eyes that can see magic. Can see the trajectory of magic and use it more smoothly.]

[Unique Ability (Talent Insight): Can perceive the talents of others. Can instantly grasp unique abilities and potential.]

[Unique Ability (Superior Body): Your body is as if created by a god! Stamina, strength, situational awareness… all physical abilities are greatly enhanced!]

[Physical Overload: Your Avatar has exceeded the available limits. Your body will die in 13 days, 23 hours, and 48 minutes.]

It has been 7 days since I barely survived, wandering through hardships after being poisoned by the Vulture Spider.

Miraculously, everything seemed to have healed, and I thought I could continue living as my Avatar like before…

“Well, even just having two weeks is a miracle.”

There have been many ups and downs until now. It was the same during the Nephendes incident and with the Vulture Spider. My body has endured truly difficult times.

Since my Avatar was not a complete human body but a temporary one, I thought there would be no aftereffects.

I thought this Avatar would be easily cured and brought back to life, just like a game character. After all, I’ve been controlling this body like playing a game.

“It can’t be helped…”

But this world was not a world in a game, and my Avatar was not simply constructed like a game character.

In the end… it had to come to an end. If you ask if I have any regrets, of course, I would answer that I feel regretful.

No matter how much it was just an Avatar, it was realistically connected to my original body. I went through the process of finding a way to live in this world.

I wanted to know everything about this Empire, to explore places I couldn’t even imagine, and to store them in my memories.

Let’s stop with meaningless complaints here. It won’t change anything even if I do.

I raised the elegant request letter that was placed on my familiar desk and looked at it. It was the request letter I received when I arrived at the base after being poisoned by the Vulture Spider.

-Request: Subjugation of the Demon Appearing in the Death Valley in the Southern Empire.

A place where numerous powerful and diverse demons reside at the southern end of the Empire. It is called the ‘Death Valley’, where a demon has appeared, and they request its subjugation.

The demon is known to be able to fly in the air and not even a simple attack can faze it. It is even said to breathe fire.

…Based on the above characteristics and various information, the conclusion was reached that the demon is a ‘5-star demon’.

They request the subjugation of the demon to the recently outstanding ‘Scar Mercenary Corps’.

            -Imperial Palace-

This continent is known as the ‘Imperial Territory’. In other words, every space on this land is overflowing with the influence of the ‘Empire’.

This commission was a direct request from the imperial family that rules the empire. It was a request to subdue a 5-star monster.

5-star monsters were entities of a strength dimensionally different from 4-star monsters. Each one possessed the might to annihilate a city, and the mere appearance of a 5-star monster could stir the entire empire into an uproar.

Even for our strong and rapidly growing ‘Ska Mercenary Group’, the risk of being annihilated by a 5-star monster was extremely high. This was true even now that Seris, who had started to make a name for herself in the empire, was with us.

In our case, honestly, it wouldn’t have mattered if we refused this commission. By now, having successfully completed many commissions, we were in a situation where we were stable and reaping massive financial benefits.

There was no need to take on such a huge risk and accept this commission.

Frankly speaking, our mercenary group had become more powerful and wealthier than many of the well-known nobles in the empire. With the money constantly being invested in our members and bases, there was no chance of it ever running out.

“I ask you all. If even one person objects, I will not undertake this commission.”

That night, after receiving the commission, I quietly asked all the mercenaries, including Seris. Just as I said, if even one person objected, I was ready to cleanly give up.

– We can’t possibly give up…!

– We are invincible!

– With the Captain and the Vice-Captain, there’s nothing to fear. Even if it’s a 5-star monster!

After a moment of contemplation, not a single one of the mercenaries objected to accepting the commission.

There was no coercion or pressure. Their faces, filled with pride and passion, told me their agreement was genuine.

“It doesn’t matter.”

Seris, with the same cold expression as when we first met, indicated her consent. And so, we accepted the direct commission from the imperial family.

The commission to subdue a 5-star monster, powerful enough to plunge the entire empire into fear.

Thus, we had a day to prepare. As if setting out on a simple commission, everyone chatted noisily and swallowed their food.

Trying to forget the faint fear and dread blossoming in their hearts.

And today. The day of the expedition has dawned. We will leave our base and embark on a long journey.

“I never thought I’d grow attached.”

Gazing wistfully at my office for a moment, I grabbed the ornate sword from the wall and left the office.

Leaving the office I could never return to, as if burying a dear friend in my heart.

“…Farewell.”

***

“You’ve arrived.”

“Indeed. And… take this.”

“…..This is.”

Seris silently received the ornate sword I handed her. It was the sword obtained after defeating Nepenthes.

[The Forgotten Hero’s Sword]

For me now, I could not recognize the true value of this sword, and it was too sharp to merely hang in an office.

It would be more fitting for Seris, who will become a Swordmaster. With her wielding this exceptional sword, she would become incomparably stronger than before.

“A token of apology. Will you.. accept it?”

“……….”

Seris glanced back and forth between the sword and my face, then left without a word.

‘Another failure, it seems.’

Like the day I first met Seris, she had become distant again.

It’s understandable. She’s been troubled by me numerous times. Naturally, anyone would harbor resentment.

Ever since I woke from my addiction, Seris would harden her expression upon seeing me, turning cold as if dealing with a stranger.

Yet, it still hurts. I never thought I’d have to face that cold gaze again.

Well, it’s my fault. I wish Seris and I could have reconciled before I left.

“For the journey to carve our names into the legend of history…!”

“”Wuoaaah-!””

Let’s go. To continue our legend. And to adorn my… final journey.

And so, we left the mercenary headquarters and headed south.

“Goodbye, Scar Mercenaries.”

Even if I disappear, surely a leader more exceptional than me will emerge. The remaining members will make sure of that.

***

“………”

Silently watching General Venice walking at the forefront, Seris fell into silence.

‘Why am I like this?’

It shouldn’t be like this… Every time she looked at General Venice, an uneasiness rose from deep within her.

Whenever she looked at that face, instead of fearing that the general would leave her side, her heart grew colder.

Swoosh-

I raised the sword that General Venice had handed me. Unlike the previous one, it was a sharp and sturdy sword.

It gleamed enough to reflect my face, and it was a flawless sword without any visible flaws.

‘Symbol of apology….’

Certainly, General Venice gave me this sword as a symbol of apology.

An apology is something I should be doing. Why, then, is the general apologizing to me?

I am the flawed one. Unable to suppress my emotions, expressing them to the general as if venting my anger.

As I took the sword and left without a word, I accidentally caught a glimpse of the trembling in his eyes, faintly visible through his expressionless facade.

The leader was hurt because of me.

I want to run to him right now, kneel down, and apologize while crying. Saying that he doesn’t need to do this, that it’s all his own fault…

Crack..!

“Damn it…”

But I couldn’t face the leader and smile. I didn’t dare approach the brilliantly shining light.

In front of his beauty and radiance, I felt so pitiful and pathetic.

After conveying my apology, I couldn’t bear the disdainful and accusatory gazes thrown my way.

Just imagining the person I love most in the world looking at me with disgust made my heart feel like it was sinking into an abyss.

‘I must apologize unconditionally… But…’

Each time I decided to approach the leader, my body shook uncontrollably, and my throat closed up, leaving me speechless.

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“…Okay. I’ll tell him later… Just a bit later.”

That I’m sorry. That it was all my fault… I’ll kneel down, bow my head, even if it means giving up everything I have.

Yes. Once this task is over… I will definitely tell him.

…Even if the leader looks at me with contempt, even if he abandons me.