23. The guy who farts has s*x
“What happened?”
“Koo, cool! Run away!”
A gray mist mixed with divine power and demonic energy began to spread in all directions.
The central square in the middle of the day with people densely packed. Fog covered it and blocked the sunlight. Chaos increased as the person in front was invisible and only screams and murmurs could be heard in the distance.
The magic that was diluted with extremely strong divine power was actually not that threatening. But one out of ten. There were young and old, sick and infirm.
Those who inhaled the mist vomited blood. Even normal people saw it and fell into fear. In the chaos, crowds shoved, trampled, and fled each other.
“What is this?”
The Saint of the Moon, standing in the middle of the fog, remained as calm as an ice field even in this situation. With a face that showed no emotion, that gaze was directed to the waist of the hero.
Due to the resistance of the divine power and the demon, the spell on the sacral robe was destroyed. After the complete human form surrounded by light was removed, there was an ordinary and weak human being made of cloth.
“That sword. I heard that the hero kept it, but I didn’t know that he would bring it to a place like this.”
Because of the pure white sacramental clothes, the slender jet-black sword body stood out even more. Ha ha It’s a little embarrassing to see this beautiful woman’s ardent gaze.
[This is the first time seeing it in person, isn’t it? I heard a lot about it from your brother.]
“No matter how brave you are, you do this in a sacred ceremony.”
But the saint soon took his eyes off me. Well, even if you provoke it, you won’t be shaken. Certainly she was a cold, duplicitous woman, like the god she served.
“I will collect it.”
She lightly shakes her hand, and the light from her shoulder slides down her arm and down to her hand. Soon it froze and took the form of a barbed whip.
Fang as the Saint brandished her whip. With the sound of tearing through the air, the fog around the area suddenly lifted. It was a swift blow that even a moderate martial artist would not dare to deal with.
The two of them were soon revealed. The whip that had been extended to me failed to achieve its purpose and was wrapped around the hero’s pure white forearm. A drop of blood dripped from the thorn on the whip.
“Why does the servant of God protect those who belong to the devil?”
[Stop!]
The saint’s expression distorted, and the holy sword emitted a scream-like mental wave. Only then did the saint’s gaze turn to the holy sword. It’s as if he had been deliberately ignoring it before.
[You have no right to punish the hero!]
The cry of the holy sword was sharp and contained a certain dignity. When the saint hesitated, a flame rose from the end of the warrior’s arm, melting all the whips that were wrapped around his body.
“If I were not a sheep, but a he-goat leading the herd, how dare I stick my horn at the shepherd? I just attacked a wolf that was threatening the pack.”
[Stop the pun! Even if it’s a wolf, it’s the hero who brought it into the enclosure!]
“Then, should I just sit by and watch the wolf bite and kill the sheep in the enclosure?”
Although the questions and answers were marked with religious metaphors, it was not difficult to grasp their true intentions. Ugh, anyway, religious people.
Of course, no matter how much I live my life as I please, I wasn’t so careless as to open my mouth in a situation like this. To be honest, this time it wasn’t even my fault, but sparks flew for no reason.
Yes! If I had to ask, I was the unfortunate victim.
[Judgement is not the role of the beast, but the role of the shepherd who leads it.]
If I interpret that in my own way, it would be something like ‘don’t be presumptuous and shut up.’ Whoa, no matter how much we worship the same god, can we talk so strongly?
“I understand.”
However, the authority of the holy sword is the authority of the hero. No matter how much she was a saint representing one of the three denominations, she could not rebel against the warrior who carried the three gods on her back.
As the Moon Saint took a step back, the paladins who had been watching it from a distance finally approached. Fortunately, the church’s personnel swiftly rectified the confusion, and the confusion was quickly put to rest.
However, when the fog lifted, what was left was silence with a completely different atmosphere from before. It was disquieting, and the end of its gaze was directed at the naked hero.
“Is that Chi really a warrior? That ominous aura from before was…”
“Are you suspicious of the temple?”
“But, it is. The black mist that arose a moment ago certainly seemed far from sacred.”
“That is…”
Most importantly, not only ordinary citizens but also those in power who gathered to watch the ceremony began to shake.
Giants with mighty influence, shaking the world situation with every step. Well, no matter what, it’s the same as dying if your head is cut off. Even so, the hero already looked disliked before the substitute.
In this situation, if a bad image is changed even to other powers, even if the hero has the authority not to be bound by earthly power, enormous difficulties will bloom in his move.
Because the right not to be interfered with and the right to be treated are two different things.
[Listen! All those who bow their heads under the sun and breathe!]
There is only one way to put an end to this catastrophe. The situation was mediated by someone who was not the hero himself, but who had equal or perhaps higher authority.
“What, what?”
“This voice is…”
[I am the Holy Sword Aries, today on behalf of the hero, I would like to convey his mantra to the world!]
The spirit wave of the holy sword wasn’t as loud as mine, but it was enough to cover the entire plaza, and it had the ability to convey one’s emotions in a different direction than mine.
Just with that voice, I feel the air much softer. The question has not been completely resolved, but at least an atmosphere has been created to listen to the story.
[The hero of this generation foresaw. A great disaster will soon come to this continent, and it is a despair with a different name from the demon king!]
This was the true power of the holy sword. It’s not a certain characteristic or ability, but an appeal that makes you believe even if you don’t have great verbal skills, even if the words are absurd at times.
Not all cult leaders are well-spoken or logical, and in fact, there are many worse than that. Even so, the reason why they were able to charm many people was because they had a certain power to attract people.
[Also, the hero foresaw. All those disasters will start with a single magic sword.]
“You said the hero had the ability to foresee?”
“Rather than that, isn’t that waistband a demonic sword?”
When that was combined with the authority of the holy sword himself, the absurd God of Gura was completed, in which even strangers would believe that goblin skin was tougher than that of a troll.
Religion is so scary. Especially in this world where gods exist and their followers wield their powers at will.
[So the warrior decided to shoulder all the hardships and trials by himself! Just like the battle saint who always carried a great hammer made of the skull of the devil in the past, the warrior also decided to walk the path of hellfire on his own.]
Is it true that even I, who is a demonic sword named Gu, has reached the level of a master? He had a terrifying persuasive power to the point of tilting his head. I’m afraid, the holy sword…!
However, the words of the Holy Sword are persuasive only to ordinary people. It’s another for bigwigs who know the hidden stories and aren’t intimidated by charisma.
“Is that true!”
Cries were heard from seats on the second floor that were floating in the air with the power of divinity and magic, different from the plaza where the citizens were gathered. Soon a young man stood up.
Ah, I said it felt strong! The official who could stand proudly in front of the holy sword had golden hair and golden eyes. It was a very famous symbol.
From noble mtl dot com
“Does the hero have the ability to foresee?”
An empire far away from the Hair territory we are currently staying at. Blond hair is quite common, but golden eyes were passed down only in one place, the lineage of the royal family.
And the imperial family, the Destania family, was more famous in other parts than the one that ruled the empire. The world’s only group of certified prophets.
– Attribute: Golden Rule Observation (S-)
I quickly searched the young man’s status window. It’s a name, a state, and it’s not necessary. I was looking for just one quality. Crazy, the ratings are high.
[Holy sword, he is a true prophet. It’s pretty good too.]
Originally, in a situation like this, eating popcorn would be a proper posture for the audience, but I could be dragged onto the stage if I did something wrong, so I helped the actor.
The Holy Sword seemed to flinch and tremble for a moment at the mental waves secretly sent so that only the Holy Sword could hear them. However, the holy sword soon spread a mental wave with a firm voice without wavering.
[Yes.]
“That is strange. There were still other prophets in this world besides ‘us’?”
The young man muttered in a low voice, as if talking to himself, but it was loud enough to be heard by our senses. Are you doing that on purpose to hear me?
“If you look into those eyes, I will understand.”
The young man who muttered to himself raised his voice again, finally answering at a volume that everyone could hear. By his admission, the warrior has truly become a prophet.
Why are you so meekly acknowledging it? They are dark inside and don’t want to get involved. It was a time when my head was cluttered with many thoughts.
[I would rather ask the saint of the moon. The procedure of the original announcement ceremony would not have been like this.]
No, please don’t do that to yourself.
In this situation where the eyes of countless citizens and those in power are focused, words once spoken cannot be taken back. I’m not even a hero, why is the holy sword trying to pretend to be a great war!
[Why did the Holy Son arbitrarily change the procedure of the announcement ceremony? You’ll have to explain.]
*
Clang! Shards of empty wine bottles splattered arbitrarily. Even though a piece of it flew dangerously close to his eye, the drunken young knight did not blink an eye.
His room, which should have been elegant and tidy to match the dignity of a knight, is now a mess. Leftover food and empty wine bottles were not organized and rolled around randomly.
“Damn it, damn it.”
He swears, gets angry, sobs, then laughs again. The young knight, acting like a lunatic, soon opened his cloudy eyes and looked out his window.
Since the room he was in was located quite high up in the castle, he could see the faraway scenery well. Its gaze landed on the central process that was noisy with all kinds of sounds.
It was there. One girl, a black sword hanging from her waist. Even though the actual distance was far, the extremely trained senses of the knight caught it without difficulty.
“Jacob…”
The young knight’s name was Robin.
He was a commoner, especially an orphan, who became a knight. In his childhood, he lived by begging for bread and stealing the pockets of passers-by, and then accidentally became a blacksmith’s apprentice.
As a boy, he spent his days helping an old blacksmith there, and one day, he realized that he had a talent for swordsmanship.
“Even though my parents were different, I considered you my brother.”
During the day, he helped the blacksmith, and at night he swung his sword while not even sleeping. It caught the eye of an old knight living next door, became a servant, and was officially offered swordsmanship.
There was a close friend who always helped him like a shadow through all the hardships. As a child, when he was caught stealing bread together and caught by a passer-by, he was beaten instead.
There was such a friend who comforted me when I was scolded by the blacksmith because I couldn’t sleep properly, and who became my opponent for sparring in place of my master who could no longer hold a sword due to his old age.
When he became a knight, his friend did not become a knight but became a mercenary. When his friend took a sword and went to battle, Robin caught him.
‘Go into your clan? Are you pitying me now?’
‘Jacob, you know I don’t mean that.’
‘No need, man. I’m not that incompetent.’
And on the same battlefield, a friend saved his life. Yeah, wasn’t he such a talented friend that I’ve been holding onto his ankles so far?
Even if he lives as a mercenary for now, even if he doesn’t have money to pay for an inn and sleeps in a stable, that friend will one day become very successful. I will help you make that-
There was a time when I thought so.
“The damn sword, the damn warrior, the damn world.”
Muttering whatever came out of his mouth, the young knight groped around. But there was no bottle of wine in his hand. Probably, I drank it all again.
A friend who had only a chance to shine died one day. He said that he stole the hero’s goods, and that he was possessed by a demonic sword and killed countless residents on the roadside.
“Puhuhhh… That is nonsense.”
Jacob was never that kind of guy. As he learned from the soldiers using his knightly authority, it was the hero, not his friend, who committed the killing on the street.
However, by order of the lord he swore allegiance to, the warrior was awarded a sword for saving the city, and his friend was a criminal who was sentenced to death, and even his body could not be recovered.
“Aren’t you unhappy?”
“What?”
Suddenly, all the senses that have been tainted with alcohol stand up. When Robin raised his head again, there was no longer a drunkard desperate for the world, but a young, disciplined knight.
There was someone else in the room who must have been there. Even though the door was locked from the inside, not wanting to look down on the servants coming and going. There is no sign of break-in anywhere on the door or window.
As if it had been there from the beginning, the uninvited guest stood naturally.
“Who are you!”
Robin quickly stepped back and aimed what was in his hand at the enemy. Even though what he was holding was a half-broken bottle of wine, his stance showed a restrained spirit unique to a knight.
“Oops, don’t be vigilant. They just came to get a little help because they seem to have the same purpose as us.”
“Reveal your identity.”
In-young, wearing a black robe, bowed her waist in a ridiculous manner as if mocking him. Then he raised his head again, and the robe pulled back, revealing the mask of an eight-eyed jester.
“A congratulatory message written under the mystery of the night loses its meaning under the light of the earth. So, let’s use the words of the wuja to express it.”
The face of the mask, which seemed to have been carved out of the shell of something, naturally moved the corners of its mouth and smiled.
[We are the Dark Church.]