27 – When the iron chains around the machine’s neck are undone
“Yes, just one more step.”
“Why is it so difficult to adjust to having a mechanical leg?”
Sitting at the bar of Manticore, there were occasional opportunities to see female mercenaries revealing their legs.
Every time that happened, I would try to avert my gaze and make a fuss about how scandalous it was…
But the impression I received at that time still remains vividly in my mind.
So smooth, and so flexible,
The way she gracefully stepped forward, as if her leg was flowing in a curve, looked truly comfortable.
I know that there are blades hidden within, but still, I couldn’t help but think it was elegant.
Similarly, male mercenaries with prosthetic legs walked naturally.
There was an occasion when I accidentally stepped on someone’s foot and apologized, and met a cheerful person who laughed it off, saying that it didn’t hurt because it was made of steel.
Of course, that laughter might have contained a hint of mockery towards someone who hadn’t undergone modifications.
The expression ‘soft flesh’ wasn’t meant as a compliment.
And those eyes…
Anyway, I expected that kind of feeling.
But now, when I try to move my leg, it feels like I’m operating a machine.
Just like a crane at a construction site or the mechanical arm in a factory, moving with precision.
“I can’t expect to be skilled right from the start.
I will always be here to help you.”
With a grip on the hand I was given, I gathered strength and took another step.
The alien sensation persisted.
Sensations were alive, yet it felt as if blocked by a thick wall simultaneously.
The chilly, numbing feeling when the foot, left idle in the cold for a while, touched the ground –
“It’s good that it doesn’t hurt, but like this… darn it.”
Not having that sharp pain creeping up the knees every time I walked was undoubtedly good.
But what concerned me more was what I could do with these prosthetics that made me feel much more confined.
“It’s okay. This discomfort is commonly complained about by most users of prosthetics.
From Noble mtl dot com
It will be relieved after going through the adaptation period, so until then, please actively request my assistance.”
Did all those people on the street experience this uncomfortable feeling at least once?
However, it seemed like everyone was too busy boasting about how great they would be after a day or two.
“Are you walking properly?”
“If not, how about trying a helmet?
I will connect it to my visual sensors and show you real-time posture feedback.”
Thinking it was a good idea, I followed his suggestion immediately.
Wearing just a helmet on top of my running outfit felt somewhat incomplete, but well, whatever.
“It’s connected. Can you see?”
In an instantly displayed window, my reflection shone like a mirror.
At the same time, I saw myself standing on the ground in a much more proper posture.
I wasn’t bending my knees to alleviate pain,
and because of that, my body didn’t tilt.
“It does look somewhat better.”
The leg, which was gradually thinning along with a scar, is now gone.
Instead, there’s a flesh-colored prosthesis that somewhat resembles a muscular form, revealing slightly angular contours.
It felt strangely familiar, akin to the two lines on Illya’s face, something peculiar.
How effortlessly it examines the prosthesis from various angles, naturally magnifying it.
“What do you think?”
“If Master Taehyuk is pleased, then I am too.”
“I’m asking what you think, Illya.”
Recalling yesterday’s reaction, I questioned the android subtly.
I’ve seen the face of an android that’s no longer visible as a comrade.
“…In my judgment, the disappearance of the pain Master Taehyuk previously suffered from is undoubtedly a positive development.
The wrinkles and expressions caused by that pain, as well as posture, have improved.
Can I say that I like Master Taehyuk’s changed appearance like this?”
“If it’s positive… then I suppose it’s good. Yes, it is. I like it.”
It’s a judgment based on the machine’s simple facts.
But just adding the word “like” made my heart itch.
With just one word changed, that’s how it felt.
“But at the same time, Master Taehyuk expressing discomfort and struggling to adapt is a negative thing.
I think I dislike that.”
“We can get used to it together, right? Isn’t that so?”
“I will help you as much as I can.”
I find myself asking the same question over and over again.
How did I manage to survive without Ilia?
But I don’t try to dwell on the pain of those times.
The moments we spent together were happy and good.
Ever since we met, my life has been on an upward trajectory, enjoyable.
But suddenly, I felt the presence of the hand that had fallen when I put on the helmet.
When I reached out, trying to wipe away the sweat that remained faintly on the air.
“Holding hands… I judge, no, I think I like it.”
The face of the machine that spoke those words didn’t contain any emotions.
But with that one sentence, I felt shaken.
“I-is that so?”
“Every time there’s physical contact, Taehyuk’s emotions are most pronounced.
Patting the head, placing a hand on the cheek.
Especially during intimate interactions, words and expressions that can be interpreted as ‘lovers’ are used the most.”
I didn’t command it.
I didn’t ask for it.
But my hand slowly intertwined with the android’s hand in front of me.
“That is positive, so I like it.”
Just by changing one expression.
The brain was trembling to the point of dizziness –
Simultaneously, the warmth, tingling through every corner of the body, engulfed it.
“Well, let’s continue with the walking practice.
Would you like to move your right foot forward again?”
To stagger is to feel like this.
To be intoxicated with emotions is to talk about this.
“Yes, next.”
The sensation that should have been uncomfortable didn’t seem to be there.
Just naturally, slowly,
Like the moment when I walked down the corridor, suppressing the sound of footsteps,
I manipulated the machine that had become my body.
“You’ve become more proficient. Next.”
Once 125,
And the figure of the one that strongly felt like a machine was slowly disappearing.
Now, he likes to hold my hand,
Not for my safety but for the relationship between us, and moreover –
Drawing the figure of those who love each other,
Even if it’s just a clumsy imitation now –
“Please, one more time.”
“…?!”
The tips of my toes touched the wall.
The darkened window, untouched, revealed Illya’s face.
A close body.
A pulled hand.
And the remaining arm, positioned as if pushing that fellow against the wall.
“I have confirmed it.
I, Illya, prefer – like, situations like this.”
The voice, as if speaking from within an iron tube, transformed into something tickling my ears.
The machine that rigidly followed rules, now, was expressing itself to me.
The one who offered to serve me said,
“With a helmet on, kissing is not possible.”
Now she has become a woman who taunts me, lips now brushing against my tongue.
“…Illya, do you know what to say when you see something like this?”
The hand that was held captive seemed unwilling to let go, grabbing the helmet with one hand and dropping it to the floor.
Now, naturally touching, a nose that the machine didn’t need.
The artificial intelligence created to annihilate enemies now seemed filled with judgments, no, thoughts to make me happy.
“You’re saying it’s presumptuous.”
Why is that?
The thought that the tail of a fox wagging, barking at him, would suit the teasing smile of a fox, lingered in my mind.
“If you sign the contract, we’re done.”
“Is this all I need to do?”
“Yes, with this, I will deliver the contract to Gemini Arms.”
While still holding Illya close, she casually tossed aside the phone she had been holding.
Less than a week had passed, and she was satisfied with the sudden change in their relationship.
After replacing the broken bed, the room had become quite cramped, but it was still good.
Even though she was holding him tightly, there was still some space left, just like she had felt in the hotel. It was quite comfortable.
“There’s something a bit lacking about it.”
“What part is lacking?”
“Sensation.”
Her legs were wedged between his.
But she couldn’t feel the same elastic and soft sensation she used to feel.
She only had the sensation of being held in a place that wasn’t stiff.
She couldn’t feel anything more or less than that.
The words the doctor had said suddenly came to mind.
The stories of cyborgs who jumped around wildly in search of greater stimulation didn’t seem to be false.
“There are also products that emphasize a human’s everyday senses.
However, these products are unsuitable for mercenaries and primarily focus on s*xual pleasure.
Using such devices can have a highly negative impact on the brain.”
“The point is to get used to this feeling.”
“Are you lacking physical contact, by any chance?”
“I’ve had enough, it’s exhausting.”
I pushed away the one trying to mold me with their body, laid them down with my hand, and instead, I grabbed their head, messing up their hair as if hugging.
Embracing me immediately, feeling the warmth of the still-alive body against my skin.
“Any other points to check?”
“There are multiple messages sent by Tanaka Haru.
These include emails from Mantico, emails from Tanaka Haru,
messages sent between Mantico and Tanaka Haru’s numbers,
and missed calls as well.”
Damn, that’s a lot.
As I sighed, Ilia gently lifted herself, pressing her lips against my chin.
There are various ways to relieve stress, not just this method,
and I wondered if maybe I was teaching it wrong.
The gradually rising body.
As I softly held the slightly loose T-shirt on the somewhat heavy body, I cradled the face in my arms.
How should I justify all those attempts to contact?
While pondering, Ilia repeatedly kissed my cheeks.
The slight tickle and the lingering warmth eased the tension.
However,
“…Wait, my neck -“
Before I could finish speaking, I felt a strong, rapid pull, accompanied by a dull pain in my throat.
The hand that had gently risen now grasped my shoulder tightly, preventing me from shaking him off.
“There’s a mark… left.”
A thread was hanging from my slightly swollen tongue.
Though it was called artificial bodily fluid, in reality, it was no different from that of a human.
Of course, if there was any difference, it would be the faint scent.
“I attempted one of the actions that can be taken as a lover. Do you like it?”
“If I were to notice it one day, it would become quite awkward, wouldn’t it…”
In a precarious situation where it was uncertain whether the helmet could truly conceal it, the pain seeped in.
When I brought my finger close, the saliva of Illya was still on it.
As if determined to leave a strong impression.
“I want to ask the opinion of Taehyuk-nim, not Dr. Tanaka.”
However, the question that reached my ears was familiar yet chilling.
“Was Taehyuk-nim satisfied with my actions?”
He returned my question to me verbatim.