40 – There’s a Reason for Obsession (4)
Tears flowing as if in frustration on one side.
And on the other side, looking at me without a change in expression.
In between them, there was me.
Never once did I imagine I would find myself in such a situation.
“Hmm, hmm…”
“…”
Daeyeon wiped away tears, and Ilya stood still, looking at her as if nothing was amiss.
There seemed to be an irrevocable gap between them.
“What happened?”
“…Nothing. It’s nothing.”
Though I tried to inquire about the situation, her reluctance to answer seemed incredibly precarious.
It felt like poking a pot about to explode, on the verge of overflowing—
She was shaking her hands and chin uncontrollably.
“Really, is it okay if you don’t say anything?”
“…”
Seeing her only nod without a word confirmed that she was indeed hiding something.
Should I ask Ilya then?
“Uh, Mr. Taehyuk.”
Just as I was about to speak, Daeyeon seized the opportunity.
Swallowing her tears, suppressing emotions on the brink of eruption—
With hurried breaths, she faced me.
“Do you believe machines can have emotions?”
A question that clearly targeted Ilia.
As if expressing the unfairness of everything that had blocked my way so far,
I refrained from hastily answering that question filled with resentment.
“Taehyuk, you saw it too. The numerous commands and data displayed on that screen.
In the end… it’s just a machine made up of electricity and components.
Yet – something like that, I mean -“
“Doyeon.”
I could vaguely guess from some emotion behind those words.
Matthew had said something,
and the girl had shown me something.
So, even if it brings joy, it might be a happy occasion,
“The machine you’re talking about is a comrade who fought alongside me on the battlefield for a long time.
My colleague, resurrected through ten years of dedication.
…Even if it may look like a machine in your eyes,
it’s not to me.”
In reality, there was one thing I wanted to make absolutely clear.
Even if it brings despair to someone,
and certainty to an artificial intelligence.
Biting my lower lip, staring at the ground, Doyeon soon dropped a thick tear onto the floor.
Looking at me, Ilia placed her hand on my chest and lowered her head.
Her slightly raised mouth seemed to express the joy of winning a competition.
“…Why can’t I do it?”
With a reddened face,
tears stained with makeup drew lines on her cheeks.
Just like the hollows under both of Ilia’s eyes.
“Why, why can’t I do it?
I am human, you know. Not just a reaction made of a few computer words,
not a body with wires and heat conducting iron instead of blood vessels –
I am a real person with emotions.”
“…I’ll be out for a moment.”
Matthew, who had finally brought the two of us together, couldn’t withstand this atmosphere and left.
I wanted to run away after him,
but I couldn’t even attempt it because the eyes of the two women held me back.
“…Sigh.”
Da-yeon, who was trying to play the role of a lover,
was making the already difficult situation even more complicated for someone like me, who was experiencing a love confession for the first time.
“Well, um, Tae-hyuk, you might not have known,
but I’ve seen you working hard while preparing the IT team.
I heard that you worked hard for us even without receiving proper payment,
Barely made it this far – “
An unfamiliar tale.
The awkward confession of a girl rushing recklessly.
And,
“I thought of you as a comrade.
Just precious… a colleague, believed in that way.
Watching Mr. Matthew wrestle with the computer for days,
As materials like armored fabric and premium materials are assembled on the body –
I just thought it was a cherished machine.”
The hatred that could only arise when that feeling became genuine was directed at Ilia.
The sound, gnashing teeth while biting down, intensified the tension.
“But, but… why…!
Why… hu, huk, why, agh…!”
However, Da-yeon’s mouth, which seemed ready to tear Ilia’s throat apart at any moment, crumbled,
And the hand that clenched into a fist slowly opened, covering my face.
The tears streaming down quickly formed droplets, becoming rain on the floor.
“Fine, can’t distinguish between like and dislike,
And even that is just mechanically reacting without any self-awareness, according to Taehyuk’s reactions.
Jealousy, whatever, in the end, it’s nothing more than imitating what you saw on the internet, that’s all!”
“…Da-yeon.”
“I am human, I am real,
But her face is just one among countless options…!”
“Dayeon,”
“I really like you for real!!”
Even if I confess recklessly, it probably won’t reach her.
The fact that she likes me is just something I realized today.
For someone like me, being approached like this – isn’t it a bit too much?
“Ilia, stay still.”
With a single word, I stopped the one who was about to move at the edge of my sight,
Turning my waist slightly while sitting, I faced Dayeon head-on.
“Hu – huuh -“
“Calm down. Take a breath.”
My head was already throbbing from potential corporate issues,
And now, human relationships were also tormenting me.
I just wanted problems to come one by one.
Life had its own way of unfolding.
“Well, of course, it might take some time…
But I can do everything Taehyuk wants.
I can even transform my body as provocatively as this physique,
From hairstyle to face, I can change everything.”
“So, -“
“He told me to calm down.”
What is he really saying, and do I understand and verbalize it?
What am I thinking and doing as I hear those words?
Certainly, considering the chaotic face and voice, it’s hard to imagine.
“How am I supposed to calm down when it’s my first love…”
Exhaling deeply as if the ground could swallow me.
My already not-so-great body seems to worsen due to this situation.
Why is the quiet life of ten years starting to unravel at this moment?
“I won’t let it be taken away anymore.
From that metal lump imitating a human body,
I won’t let it be taken away…!”
“It’s all gone!”
In the end, I screamed.
To the already desperate girl, I raised my voice willingly.
The thoughts in my head against doing so did not reach my lips.
The deed was already done.
“Ah, uh…”
As the bluish body seemed to collapse backward, I quickly grabbed and pulled it back.
Holding firmly onto the shoulders, I infused my warmth, calmly suppressing the tremors of that thin body.
“If I don’t regain my senses, I might not even realize when I’ve crossed the line.
So, I hope you can calm down.”
I could somewhat understand the Division Commander’s feelings that used to restrain my recklessness.
In the moment when emotions swept over me, guiding me to make choices and act recklessly,
I couldn’t comprehend a single thing.
The girl in front of me was bringing back memories of my immature self.
“Listen carefully.
Certainly, as you mentioned, Ilyria might just be a simple machine.
She might do what I like and try to get rid of what I dislike.
However, the time I spent knowing and being with Ilyria was truly, truly long.
Fighting together with our lives on the line holds much more meaning than you think.
…Being swayed by emotions and shaken here and there, that’s how this guy and I ended up here.”
“But she’s still a machine. Not a human.”
Machine, human.
Is that really an essential issue?
Especially in this era where replacing parts or the majority of the body with machines is common, does it really make sense to see machines and humans differently?
“Even if Taehyuk spends a lot of money and effort on Ilyria,
Even if you replace numerous parts and modify to create the one and only android,
In the end, it’s nothing more than a mass-produced commodity that someone can replicate.
Even if various technologies from different companies come together,
Ultimately, her mouth and body might be something someone installs on another machine’s body,
Or attaches to her own body,
Something like that, which might be used in the same way by someone else… that’s what it is.”
From Noble mtl dot com
I’ve always seen Ilydia as Ilydia,
But the girl in front of me saw Ilydia merely as a collection of parts.
That’s probably why she can say such things.
“It’s not me. I… I’ve just become an adult,
And I also gave my first love to Mr. Taehyuk.
I, I can love too…!
So, please… am I not allowed…?”
She reluctantly stood up,
Dahyun’s arms twitched as if she wanted to hug me right away.
Her moist eyes were filled with desperation.
“I can do everything Ilydia did, too…”
From the laughter that seemed broken, something strange flowed out.
The hand grabbing my clothes created numerous wrinkles on the fabric.
“You, do you even know what that means – “
“Ilia said.
No, she boasted. Right in front of me.
…A lot, she said.”
I slowly turned my head.
Where Ilia’s gaze landed, my belongings were placed together.
Ilia, she said that?
“She probably used the story of the broken bed as an excuse, but she was really bragging,
Do you think I’m an idiot? To the point where I can’t even figure that out?
I’m an adult too. I know everything.”
A sharp pain pierced my head like a needle.
In this chaotic situation that seemed impossible to resolve, I felt like screaming.
Why did Ilia say such things?
Why?
I sent her an apology, so why did she provoke me like this?
“Taehyuk, I – “
“No, Ilia, wait.
Just hold your tongue for a moment.
And, Da-yeon. You too, just for a moment…
…sigh.”
It’s all tangled up.
Tightly twisted.
From where it all went wrong, it was impossible to know.