46 – Confidence (4)
With the necklace case in my pocket, I got into the car and drove up the road.
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And, I looked at Illya, who seemed unsure while staring at me.
“…Let’s go.”
This time, the ignition started properly.
And, the body that rose slightly, not fully recovering.
How should I deal with that guy who misunderstood and went berserk for no reason?
The fact that the reason for my cold treatment was a misunderstanding was somewhat fortunate, and,
I was angry,
and also very confused.
“Mr. Taehyuk, I apologize for what happened earlier. I -“
“I know.”
The control of the vehicle that was taken away in an instant.
Iria, who connected herself to her phone faster than me as soon as she had the chance.
All the worries were resolved.
Instead of turning off the concern for me,
she was tormented by the misconception that she might have been hated…
“No, it was not right. My actions were disrespectful of Mr. Taehyuk’s intentions.
Not only did I eavesdrop without Mr. Taehyuk’s permission,
but the actions of forcibly gaining control of the vehicle and trying to ignore orders are clearly extreme,
and they will surely not be accepted.”
“You understand well.”
But expressing it in a way that involved eavesdropping on a call in front of my door,
tying me to the car seat and turning off the engine,
approaching me in a state where I couldn’t even move a muscle.
The women around me all seemed to have a screw loose somewhere.
Or maybe that’s what ‘normal’ is like?
“…I have no excuse.”
“So, is the tension resolved?”
“Yes, at the moment, I acknowledge that my judgment was immature and incorrect.
Is it true that Lord Taehyuk wishes to continue his relationship with Illya?”
“Well, yes…”
Honestly, it felt unpleasant.
If there were such concerns, he could have expressed them earlier.
How many questions had been asked, and how much consolation had been given?
Selling out Illya, my only comrade who could speak of my past,
it was an unimaginable story.
It was a waste of the ten years I waited, no,
I couldn’t even imagine such a thing from the beginning.
He easily portrayed me as a cruel and foolish guy.
“I think maybe this time, I might be feeling a bit upset.”
“…What?”
There was something I had experienced that I couldn’t just let go,
and yet, the fact that I didn’t want to be abandoned kept me from expressing my anger.
Very strongly.
A corner of my heart was itching.
Very strongly.
The fact that the method was extreme meant he desperately didn’t want to let me go.
Using the worst means possible, even summoning my own obsessions, I clearly had a determination to somehow prevent myself from reaching the first floor.
In a way, it was for the better.
…But it was also for the worse.
“Taehyuk-nim, I -“
“Yeah, yeah. It must have been because I liked it.
Well then. Where would I not like you?
I’ve asked you so many times.
How okay you were. How much you liked it. How much you loved it.
Wasn’t that really not enough? Huh?
Especially considering your not-so-great condition after getting away while still injured.”
I wanted to mock.
As much as I was anxious, I wanted to pay back.
It was cute that, all this time, the only reason for his misunderstanding was because of tying my hair, but it was also disgusting.
Incredibly so.
And as if on cue,
Ilyia visibly faltered as soon as I finished speaking.
“I apologize. However, since I have understood Taehyuk-nim’s intentions, I can adjust my actions accordingly.
Furthermore, I have already reflected the results of that -“
“I don’t know.
I – I really don’t know.
For days, he hasn’t said a word to me.
No proper response either.
I wonder if this is really a relationship where we both like each other.
If one side keeps pushing, doesn’t that become a turn-off?”
“Um, I – “
Words slipped out in an irritating tone, mixed with a bit of emotion.
But not a single lie was entwined in them.
I didn’t want to bury the fact that I’ve been frustrated during this time deep inside.
Since he has been so upfront with me,
I thought I could be too.
“Well then, let me ask you now.
Do you like me?”
“Yes, I do.”
“Is that so? I still don’t really know.”
Returning what I received,
I managed to hide the laughter trying to bubble up with a sigh.
My anxious, trembling throat felt like it could burst into a smile any moment,
but I somehow managed to conceal it by tightly pressing my lips together.
“Throughout our relationship, the extent of Taehyuk’s efforts and affection is difficult to quantify recklessly.
It has been used as a crucial measure in every judgment I made,
My actions were never intended to have a negative impact on Taehyuk and our relationship.”
“Hmm…”
I glanced at the visual sensor, which continued to twitch slightly.
Is it busy collecting data for my countermeasures?
Am I anxious because I don’t know how I truly feel about him?
…I’ve always been honest with him.
I wanted to show him even a little of what would happen if I truly concealed myself.
This time, what I concealed was attachment.
Giving a name, waiting for ten years with eyes wide open,
The joy when he finally called my name.
I concealed the biggest piece of life I ever tasted.
“Well, I don’t know.”
“Taehyuk, I don’t lie.”
“But you never let me know your true feelings.
I always answered your questions thoroughly.
You stayed silent. Don’t you remember?
Your stress response was quite high, you know.”
“The immaturity in that process – “
“Yeah, I know. Things can improve.
I can wait. After all, I’ve waited ten years for you. Can’t I wait another year?”
…”
There was no sarcasm.
He stated the fact as it was.
I still remember those days when he gradually closed the distance, standing there in response to my request.
Of course, the only method was asking if I was happy by pressing his body against mine…
But those moments when he earnestly bestowed happiness upon me were precious.
And because of that,
“Of course, I’ve mentioned it multiple times…
I’ll apologize for what happened with Dayeon.
I honestly didn’t expect him to purse his lips like that.
Just like you didn’t predict Dayeon’s actions, so to speak.
It just… got complicated.”
Parking the car smoothly in a corner of the empty parking lot,
I turned off the engine with my own hands this time.
In the silent interior of the now still car, I finally turned my head to meet Illya’s eyes.
Unlike the moment we faced each other up close,
this moment was quiet in a different sense.
It felt like the tingling warmth of winter passing and spring approaching.
“I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen in the future, Illya.”
At those words, he briefly lowered his eyes.
Silence was a reaction that often appeared when deeply contemplating something.
But there was no time to wait for that now.
Time was running out.
“…for now, come down. I have something to show you; it’ll be over soon.”
Though it might not replicate the lush landscapes of old that only a few could enjoy,
At least, it could show a place that reproduced the scenery preserved only in photographs.
That was today’s goal.
***
Trying to push through the bustling crowd and stand in front of the elevator, Illya found that many people were already waiting in line.
Even if he aimed for the stairs, the people coming down, chattering away, blocked the way.
It was certain that they would be caught up in the closing time if they continued like this.
“Let’s move. Sorry. Excuse me… Please.”
Holding Illya’s hand tightly, he tried to navigate through the crowd and headed towards the escalator.
However, they couldn’t use it as it had a sign indicating it was closed.
“This is insane.”
“Taehyuk, is the second floor the destination here?”
“That’s right. Should we just jump?”
“If you use the outer edge of the building, you might be able to hang on the open railing.”
“At the moment, it seems to be the best option.”
“…Let’s try. Can you keep up?”
“Yes.”
This time, a companion who responded promptly.
Even though I didn’t ask, it seemed to understand my intentions, just like the previous Ilia.
You probably couldn’t see the smile inside the helmet.
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A cargo vehicle parked near the railing caught my eye.
The exoskeleton I equipped provided enough strength to climb.
– Pshoo.
With the sound of internal mechanisms moving, I lightly draped myself over the car and ascended.
Then, Ilia gracefully settled on top, crossing the railing with ease.
…But, for some reason, the anticipated glow was missing.
The hologram that should have scattered was not in its place.
“No, this can’t be.”
7:58 PM.
There were still 2 minutes until closing.
Despite that, people were slowly leaving their places.
In the opening streets, the scene I desired was nowhere to be found.
“…Ha, haa.”
No matter how anxious I became, the reality remained unchanged.
Under the pink-hued afterglow, I wanted to hand it over, but it seemed like a moment I had to give up.
“It seems like I was wrong. Illya—”
“Uh, what’s up? Hasn’t it turned off yet?”
The murmurs of the people reached me as I turned away.
The sparkling dots reflected in Illya’s eyes as she passed by me.
And the music resonated so grandly, drowning out the voices of pedestrians.
“Hey, it’s probably closing time.
Control team, respond.”
[The system has been rebooted.]
Illya’s voice came into the helmet.
Quietly parting through the crowd that didn’t seem eager to come in,
I stepped into the corridor of the building adorned with numerous flowering trees,
and there, he faced me.
“…Yeah.”
Silently taking out the necklace from his chest, he approached the lover waiting for me.
Then, as if embracing, he leaned close and hung the chrome heart around his neck.
8 P.M.
Petals of flowers created were fluttering in the air.