74 – Momentary Farewell (1)
The pungent smell and bitterness emanating from the polluted rain disoriented my mind, and the liquid that didn’t quite knock me out stimulated my veins.
In contrast to my condition, Ilia…
“Looking forward to it. Is this usually expressed with the word ‘honeymoon’?”
Embracing me as I staggered from the weakened state, Ilia’s steps towards the revealed car were refreshing.
“…Y-Ilia…”
“Yes, TaeHyuk.”
After that, numerous CI units followed, disappearing into the shadows of the emptied city, each taking a different path.
Some into underground sewers,
Some behind the buildings.
“You don’t need to ponder any longer.
Even if you shake your head in denial, the decision has already been made.
You wanted actions based on my independent judgment, and I will follow through.”
Trucks with Mirsys symbols crudely covered in paint appeared, and within them, another group of machines concealed themselves.
Boxes containing heavy objects shook the vehicle as they followed.
What are they planning?
“Uh, ugh, uh -“
“Shh, it’s okay now.
I am by your side. I believe you must have been lonely for ten years.
So, being accustomed to doing things on your own,
and trusting only your decisions… I understand it well.”
CI units with intact appearances filled the driver and passenger seats,
Illya lay me down in the back seat, supporting me with her knees.
My heart is uneasy. Thoughts about to burst with painful reflections, my head on the verge of shattering.
My body, unable even to accept the light of the streetlamp, merely frowned in discomfort.
…Where are we headed?
What is the purpose of going to such lengths?
Challenging the corporate world… is it?
Is it the intention to unfold a full-scale confrontation?
Merely with machines created to assist human battles?
Moreover, the only thing seen so far is the CI unit alone.
…An army composed only of outdated models against a corporation, achieving something seemed unimaginable.
“Zzuk, Jyub…”
Suddenly, with a faint sensation, something warm and mushy could be felt going in and out.
Is it embracing? Even up to the lips.
“From now on, I will have these moments more often.
No, from now on, this will be our everyday life.
Starting with accepting gunfire and conflicts with people as ordinary.”
“…”
“In your life as a mercenary, I will isolate you, TaeHyuk.
Just as I was created for war, you have separated me, TaeHyuk.
Now, I hope you will live as my lover.”
It feels like the roles have reversed.
Dragging the broken fellow here all the way, only to be tied up and embraced by Ilia.
What should be done now?
How can I escape from this situation?
… As much as confronting the corporation, it must be blocked.
To survive, for all of us to survive –
“…Uh, hold on, just a moment…”
“Yes?”
“Work… hold on…”
As the car slows down, just kicking the door with my foot.
– Bang.
Wrapping my head with my arms, I let the strength drain from my body, rolling backward.
And then, without looking back, I immediately moved my legs.
Towards the light and the distance.
“Taehyuk, wait -“
Even if the rain coming down from the sky is thick, it is still rain.
In the cold, flowing down through the skin.
No matter how much it makes the light blurry and dirties the car’s glass.
At least for now, it forced the body, intoxicated by the medicine, to move.
“No, why!”
A sharp sound echoed from behind.
However, the legs were not human.
If I just head towards the bright bustling streets… I’m sure I can shake them off for a while.
“Taehyuk, please stop. If you don’t, then…!”
The streets narrow.
But I can see them. The billboards.
There should be people around the corner.
Even if it’s raining, those who have something to live for would be walking around with umbrellas.
“Taehyuk!!!”
Raising the volume alone won’t make it a scream.
It’s just a loud voice.
But what I heard just now was…
“Please, why. Why are you running away from me?
I am, undoubtedly, for your happiness, Taehyuk.
Don’t go. If you cross that alley, I won’t be able to follow you anymore.”
My body grows accustomed to the cold.
I adapt to the raindrops hitting my body.
And above all, the scenery in front of me was wavering.
“I’m sure I can persuade you.
I know you’re not used to resting.
I’ve been exposed to harsh living conditions for ten years just to wake me up,
So I know this reaction is only natural. But,
“No more, I can’t endure this any longer.”
Water seeped through the gaps, and the clothes draped over my body were pulled away.
Above all, rainwater flowed down like tears.
“Please help me. In my own way, under my lead, I’ve decided in the manner you expected. So…”
But now I had to leave.
For Ilya, for myself.
For someone who used to earn money through guns and others’ blood, enduring such a thing was…
“Oh, no…”
***
“What’s going on, enjoying some alone time – …what?”
“…Sorry. Let’s make a request.”
A heavy body slammed onto the floor.
Black liquid streamed down enough to obscure the view.
“Ilya. No, is it because of Ilya, right now?”
A sharp deduction hidden amidst the thick scent of cigarettes.
Perhaps because I was a person with nothing but Ilya, the arrows naturally pointed in that direction.
“Unrequited love? You don’t like the senior?”
“…Huh.”
Why does the thought that it won’t be at least that clear persist so vividly?
Because of that, it was disturbing. My mind became complicated.
Is it correct to have run away like this?
Leaving the guy out in the pouring rain, is that truly a regret-free choice?
“Judging by the reaction, it doesn’t seem like it.
Anyway – I’ll take you only to the bathroom, so you can handle the rest, right?”
“…Water too, please.
And cigarettes.”
“What?”
At least before this drug drags me completely to the bottom, I had to somehow regain my senses.
If it were any other day, I might have just let myself go, rolled my head with a cheap cup of coffee.
“Just one cigarette, for now… lend it to me.”
“Even if I have the grace to bathe you, that might not work.”
My collar was grabbed.
And, against the wall, I slumped down.
The woman with soaked hands, furiously drying them in front of my lowered head, is now visible.
“If someone who told you to quit smoking suddenly looks for a cigarette,
it’s safe to say things have gotten seriously messed up… Your eyes are strange.”
“Ilia, the medicine…”
“Tsk.”
With just a blink of the eyes, the cheek turned chilly.
And at the tip of the nose, a faintly bitter yet savory scent lingered… No, was it more acrid?
“If you don’t wash off the rain quickly, it’ll be absorbed. Drink it.”
In the icy cold water, and the taste so bitter it made the tongue curl, the lips pursed involuntarily.
But the cup kept tilting, eventually.
“Gulp, gulp… Glug, gheuk…”
Had to vigorously wipe the face against the sensation of the liquid drying the throat.
Eyes wide open from the shivers and tingling on the skin,
forcibly pulled up the energy that had slipped away and raised the body.
“Drank well, feeling a bit more conscious now?”
“Huah, ugh, just a moment… I might be okay.”
“Wash it off before losing consciousness. Rub vigorously with the determination to discard the towel inside.
What about Illya.”
A fist about to clench but an arm wavering through the air.
From Noble mtl dot com
Yet, a sensation not felt.
How to deal with this nausea, as if the pressure from ten years ago had just settled behind the back.
A queasy stomach, and a tongue that feels bone dry.
Scratch the tongue, and a saliva that feels gritty gathers in the mouth.
“Probably… won’t collapse. Maybe.”
Squeezing out a non-existent sanity, a single judgment emerges.
Lying down with drugs, awakening the brain with coffee, yet despite open eyes, it felt as if the body remained trapped in a dream.
“Seems like something happened.
I’ll hear the story tomorrow. Get some rest.”
Scattering wet clothes on the ground one by one, entering the bathroom reveals a mirror.
From face to body, dark marks adhered everywhere.
On the neck, on the chin, and even on the eyelids…
“…”
Straight and transparent marks.
On top of them, sticky and gritty – white powder.
Leaning the heavy head against the wall, the body now seems to be still.
While enduring the splashing water, the eyes stared blankly at the black water flowing towards the drain.
“I can’t bear it anymore.”
At the moment when a single phrase grasped my heart, the legs finally gave way.
The squirming body was now felt.
The moments of rolling on the ground and getting up abruptly were now just remembered.
“…Ah.”
Corporation, Ilia.
Corporation, Ilia.
Those words, one after another, pouring out haphazardly from the corners of the mind –
It felt as if my body was being vigorously pounded like water droplets.
“Please let me help. I -“
The methods were all a mess.
But as much as the words, within this strange current directed towards me.
“Ah…”
The sigh of the once mechanical being attempted to put a period on it.
If only it weren’t for the names like Mirsies.
If only I hadn’t once again pictured the departing CI units in my mind.
The cargo being carried.
The ‘soldiers’ moving in an orderly fashion following a precisely calculated flow.
It meant the direction of commands had been determined.
In the mall, resonating, a mechanical voice of an existence unknown to me.
And Ilia, naturally accepting it.
Surely, I was just a mercenary.
Just enduring each day, handling mundane tasks,
Staring at the unfulfilled balance and enduring each day while looking at Ilia’s figure.
Day by day.
…Jegiral.
How did I end up here?
How did I, come to a stop here.
The person I was close to died, and now Ilia is no longer by my side.
I couldn’t shake off the image of her confidently standing in front of the waves of countless machines, smiling at me.
But the water kept flowing.
Continuously.