83 – At the End of a Swept-Away Life (3)
A finger is seen entering the trigger of a gun.
The hand moved first.
Faster.
More accurately.
Everything was clear.
Even though it felt like the light was cutting into my eyes like a sharp knife –
Unable to dodge it now, this is all I can do.
“Huh?!”
Heavy iron falls to the ground.
And with the revolver in my hand, I load a bullet and run.
Once again, time slows down.
Nevertheless, the body swiftly moved forward as if pushed by someone.
Something short and stick-like protruded through the gap in the door.
If it hits, you die.
So, I stretched my legs out long in order to fall.
– Thud, thud, thud.
Instead of orange flames, bullets emerged from the end of the gray-smoke-spewing gun, striking the floor.
Shards and noise accompanied the trajectory passing around me.
As if it were natural.
Pulling the trigger once and swinging the cue ball once, flames spewed out.
The stick seemed to fly, contorting.
Simultaneously, a hand moving towards the waist.
Firing the gun again towards it, bullet holes began to pierce the holster.
It took quite a long time for a passage to open up, revealing the scenery of the burning city.
Everything was slow, and everything was precisely etched in my mind.
Yet, there was no sound.
Even the sound that the hand holding the gun would make when hitting must be swallowed by the deafening silence.
“───!!!”
The mouth disappeared, and a machine, too absurd to be called human, blinked and threw a punch.
Bending down, I tried to strike my side, but –
“…Kuk!”
The tremor transmitted through the swollen, red hand wasn’t of human flesh or bones.
The entire body was like a lump of iron, you say?
“───”
With a shrug of the shoulders that felt like boasting and a kick that soared through the air, landing on the fallen leg with prosthetic precision, another punch was thrown.
The same pain, the same outcome.
From the numbness that was turning into a burning sensation, blood was flowing through the skin.
As if touching the snow with bare hands on a chilly winter day without wearing gloves.
On the solid concrete floor, Miguel stood,
and, in no time, he was lying on it.
As if tossed onto a sofa, at the moment when he tried to lift his unharmed body.
The palm of the right hand, now stained with a seeping red, was visible.
The left hand, cruelly mangled and oozing blood, just like that.
There was no meaning to the sound that couldn’t penetrate deafness.
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But the figure shaking its head was undoubtedly asking me.
To that question, I had no answer.
“Heh!”
A light roll of the foot, and the body floated into the sky.
However, it was more than enough height to lift that mechanical body.
Once to the right, turning the tilting body with the left foot twice,
And pushing with the foot three times…!
Disgusting. Confusing.
The throat is so itchy that you want to scratch it with your hands.
Even though there are wounds on the hands, it is tormenting enough to want to scratch those wounds more.
Eyes made to forcibly open due to the medication.
A heart that has no intention of stopping.
Not the ticklish and painful groaning like when confessing to Ilia, but…
“───!!!”
Something touched the back.
Faintly, this ringing dullness in the ears…
“───”
Ilia… was it.
She was alive. Thank goodness.
But, why are both arms, somehow.
“T… Lady… Why…”
I hear it. A voice filled with emotions.
Leaning on me with a body that cannot embrace, sadness is evident on the face that speaks those words.
The reason for coming here is because of Ilia…
“Run away, Ilia. Run away.”
The head tilted.
I couldn’t grasp myself with nonexistent hands, but Ilia, raising my arm, said…
“…I’ll hold on, so.”
Even if I were to strike my mechanical body with my hands, there was no way.
Just because there’s no pain doesn’t mean the body can keep moving.
My fingers were already not listening.
…The only thing left was the artificial foot.
Can I really beat the guy next to me, rising again?
A body entirely mechanical, a war machine?
“───!”
Once again, a ringing sound tears through my ears.
The face twists.
Ilia’s too.
“Taeㅎ…nim… you… must escape…!”
“At this rate, both of us… cough, cough!
We’ll both die.
Reinforcements… will come soon. Just hold on.
You can’t deal with that guy… but…”
I can, at least.
Certainly, I could grab and sprawl him, buying some time.
“I’ll ㅅ – “
“When my wrist was broken, you… said.
Look at you.
So, go. Ilia. Run away.”
He shakes his head.
The mechanized body, accelerating towards me, pushes itself against me as if to say it won’t let go.
…It’s warm.
That’s why, our lips met.
“Sorry. And I love you.”
If only I had the strength to throw that body.
If I could wield the power to keep Ilia safe with my battered body right now –
I could, at least, protect Ilia.
“It’s not -“
It gets distant. Someone who shouldn’t get away from me.
The floor echoes.
Ilia, who couldn’t protect even one part of my body.
The comrade who put my body into the transport ship while protecting me until the end.
Now, is it really a farewell?
– Beep beep beep…
Once again, a ringing fills my head.
The held breath, once again, became rough.
And before me, an old colleague reaches out to me,
No,
There’s an enemy.
***
Shouts, blood, and agony.
Hands where bones start to show, almost as if peeled.
A surface of steel painted in red.
Yet, the wounds on my body keep multiplying.
Wipe them off, kick them away.
And then, once again, a sound of something breaking in my body that allowed the impact.
I can move.
However, every time, a lukewarm… sensation of blood rising is felt.
The body that should have fallen continues to move.
For the sake of the shattered Ilia, time needed to be bought.
I take hits. I strike.
The more I do, the more my body is pushed toward the window.
The hand can no longer be used.
With fingers that won’t move as I wish, I can’t even grasp a gun.
…Though he’s mostly a machine, still moving well except for the dents.
– Crunch.
The chest that withstood the kick finally crumpled and flew backward.
As the back slid with a sound of something tearing.
Eventually, crimson droplets burst out from the mouth.
I should get up, but no more strength flows into me.
“…”
Lying there, rolling the body in front of me, perhaps mocking.
No praise.
“Pfft…! Cough…”
If I lean on it a bit more, it feels like I could shatter at any moment, echoing from the fragile glass.
In the agony filling my mind, I can’t even hear Miguel’s voice in front of me.
Even as he pushes his face towards mine, slapping my cheeks forcefully several times.
Nothing is felt.
…Not even when I was shot in the knee.
Not even when I took a bullet to the chest that day.
Is this the end?
Just a few more years. Or a few more months of mercenary work, then call it quits.
If I had been satisfied with a decent home, would it have come to this?
I wanted to be content with gaining comrades I missed on the battlefield.
Just hoping they’d approach me more warmly without being so tough.
…And maybe, it would’ve been nice if she knew me a bit.
With each moment nearing death, all the accumulated wishes finally gather together…
To die by the fists of a comrade from the same unit.
And all because of Ilia’s conclusion.
Granting freedom only to hear of cities being swallowed, buildings set ablaze, and bullets raining down, I knew this would be the result.
But hoping against hope, I tried to stop it.
Yet, in the end, it led to this…
“…If they can’t hear, there’s no need to mutter any further.”
Ah, the ringing in my ears ceased.
…Only after shedding so much blood.
“Thud, cough, thwack…”
“The glare’s back. Hey, you fool. See that?”
“Go to hell… idiot.”
It hurts.
Hands, body, everything…
Every moment is agonizing.
“Look at what you’ve done to yourself.
A bloody mess, flesh and blood all mixed up.
…Would’ve been neater if we’d just cleanly shot each other.”
“Didn’t want to… make a mess.”
“Indeed, you must have only thought about ‘dotting’ around.
So, you dared to support the rebellion plan against the corporation.
It had an effect. I admit. Only now your lover is going to die at my hands, and then I can regain about half of the control.”
The window shatters.
…Since the smoke, the air wasn’t particularly cold.
Unpleasant, tormenting, the sensation of scraping deep into the lungs… just distasteful.
“You used to dismiss success and all, yet your pathetic figure muttering by the robot every day has come to an end.
Regrettable. The fact that there’s someone who could compare to my successful self disappearing.
And if that horrific death, falling from a skyscraper where you can’t even recognize the shape anymore –
Will it further plummet the reputation of the marksman.”
Originally, I didn’t give myself that nickname,
and none of this was what I wanted in the first place.
…If there was one thing I truly wished for,
it was to quietly spend the remaining time by someone dependable.
“Farewell, Taehyuk.
Now, the name Spear 04 will truly disappear into the past.”
Closed my eyes.
If it’s the sensation of falling from the sky, I’ve experienced it countless times on the battlefield ten years ago.
…But that was ten years ago.
Now, it might be a bit daunting –
Blame, blame, blame, thud…!
Something lightly kicked the floor and rose.
The sound of slicing through the wind is heard.
The one grabbing my nape hastily lifted their body, turning their head to the side.
Familiar lower body.
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I had caressed it many times with my hands, leaving marks with my lips.
Hoping to smile happily, even though I knew it wasn’t ‘skin’ –
That body I embraced stretched long.
As if I had tried to kick Miguel with both feet –
– Crunch.
Thus, one comrade made of steel fell outside the window.
Made of steel, and now left beside me, almost indistinguishable from a human.
“Lord Taehyuk, Lord Taehyuk, you must regain consciousness.
You must not lose consciousness.”
“…Ill, ri…”
Blood boiled from the throat.
Blood splattered on the pale face.
“I’m here, Lord Taehyuk. Reinforcements have arrived.
Medical droids have come along, so you can recover soon.”
Ears were hearing the words, but… couldn’t grasp them.
The eyes that seemed like they could feel it immediately, once scanned, on the face that was only remembered by the scanner…
Opened to see the twisted corners of the mouth and eyes.
Not because of medicine, but by my own will.
“You must stay by my side. I, I -“
“…That it would turn out like this…”
“Yes, you warned me. It’s my fault. My, miscalculation.
If I had accepted Taehyuk’s proposal, I would have surely -“
It was strange to look at a face that seemed like it could shed tears if only it could.
It felt like just yesterday when only the corners of the mouth were wickedly torn apart in a smile.
“…No, even if you say that, you wouldn’t have listened.
You’re stubborn, aren’t you? You. How many times did I tell you not to use the revolver…
To definitely start a rebellion and commit… crimes…”
“I apologize. I’ll make corrections, so please -“
There was no arm to grab the twisted hand.
So instead, as blood flowed from the hand, crushing my face…
“If you endure a little more, surely…”
“That’s… you, right?”
The command to make an irrational judgment had passed by, they said they were faithfully executing the order to become Ilyana.
“Cough, gasp, cough…”
“…Ah, no. Just a bit more, I can definitely treat it.
I’ll replace the critically damaged area. A prosthetic is fine, so, you just have to stay alive…”
“Yeah, Ilia. Well… learning. Isn’t that right?
Even when I realized I was wrong, the way you fixed things…
Of course, I liked you because of the time we spent together… but, ugh…”
“Yes, I liked those times too.
Thanks to you, Taehyuk-nim, I was able to leave meaningful records during all the mission logs and the seemingly pointless sentry hours.
The capacity of my thought module, the significant part of it is occupied by Taehyuk-nim. I have to stay alive.
Without Taehyuk-nim, I can no longer be Ilia.”
A lie.
Even in moments when I wasn’t around, she was thinking about me.
“…Well, you’re Ilia already.
CI-125, I won’t call you that anymore. There’s no one left to call you…”
Leaving a single palm mark on the already messed-up face should be fine.
“Medical droid, confirm location, PRT-000, immediately move to the GPS location of the training line for Taehyuk-nim -“
In a place always tinged with cold death, the only warmth was…
Probably Ilia.
Not because of the heated wires to thaw the cold, or the warm battery pack,
But because she always stayed by my side, telling trivial stories, watching over me until the end…
“I love you. And always… I’ve loved you.”
But as expected…
For someone like me, is it impossible to receive a smile?