37 – Chapter 37 – Fanaticism (1)
This is why it was burdensome to meet Sehee.
Does it feel like an hour has passed?
I couldn’t even move my body on my own, so I had to listen to the nagging that was pouring right next to me.
That’s not what I’m trying to say about Sehee.
Unless I go crazy, what can I say to someone who cares about me?
She is definitely a woman from the world before the war, but now her eyes are red, so she must be holding back tears.
I am very sorry.
Being worried is part of human relationships. In a way, not telling the bad news to the end could have been an act that only thought of me.
Se-hee, who was closest to me at the orphanage, and Se-hee, who followed me the most, should have at least informed her of the news.
“Se-hee. Come to work.”
“……huh?”
I approached Se-hee, who was sitting on the floor next to the bed, and embraced Se-hee.
Because of my posture, Se-hee clumsily buried her face in my chest.
When I carefully said I was sorry, I could feel my breathing subside.
hmm. Is it sinking? It’s like breathing a little hard.
anyway.
After that, she broke down in tears and walked away from me with a slightly flushed face, perhaps because she was embarrassed to be popular with a man.
“I’ll do the dishes. Clean the room. My brother is resting there.”
“Eh. I can do it later, why don’t we take a break together?”
He said this and to a certain extent he was sincere, but looking at Se-hee’s eyes, it seems that he has no intention of backing down.
It’s embarrassing for a 23-year-old man to get injured while trying to work part-time loading and unloading alone, and then call his younger brother and have him wash the dishes… … .
Since I can’t move in bed anyway, I don’t have the strength to stop her.
“No. I know that because I will never yield.”
“Um… I see.”
“Oh. And they say it’s worse if you lie down when your back hurts.”
“really?!”
Somehow it didn’t get better in the past. It was not for nothing that I said that information on the Internet should be taken critically.
With Sehee’s help, I rolled over with a grunt, and Sehee went to the sink and started washing the dishes.
My house is pretty small. I don’t think it’s a big problem in living, but if something sounds, it can be heard throughout the house.
The sound of Se-hee washing the dishes resonates throughout the house.
Even at a glance, the clumsy-looking gesture and the loud sound that follows.
But somehow, when I hear that sound, stability comes to my mind.
How long has it been since there was someone other than me in my house? Ari hasn’t even been inside yet.
They came all the way here from the nursery school because they were worried about me, and after they came, they helped me with the housework.
I am very happy that there is someone who goes to that extent for me. Do you think this is called inbok?
Does it mean that the feeling is so different that a person has been added to a house that has nothing much to do with it? I never thought the day would come when this small room felt cozy.
Even when difficult things happen, I feel foolish once again for trying to handle them alone.
I think so.
“It’s like a couple.”
hehehe. What are you thinking about with children?
A little sound leaked out of his mouth, but it must have been buried anyway.
Today, after a long time, I fell asleep with a very comfortable mind.
###
3:30 in the morning. It was already well past the usual bedtime.
Now this boring meeting is over.
[Then I’ll go in now, sister.]
[Sleep well, sister]
[Next time, don’t delay the meeting. hehehehe.]
“…Okay, go in.”
… … Are you tired of your daily meetings? Am I losing my focus?
No, but the meeting was delayed by several days. Tomorrow is Sunday, a regular holiday, so wasn’t it something that could be handled tomorrow?
Reason feels that this is nonsense, but instinct just complains.
but yet. It’s not a situation I like.
This week, Yuhani’s broadcast. To be more precise, Yuhani’s appearance gave off a completely different atmosphere than usual.
Yuhani, who was always broadcasting with a relaxed atmosphere and an expression full of energy, suddenly changed completely.
The sunken dark circles, the languid voice as if tired, and the sluggish gestures due to the disappearance of liveliness made it look even more bewitching.
what to say His thoughtless actions seemed like movements to seduce women.
On the first day, I was worried about my changed appearance, so I contacted her via text message.
Well, I said that I was fine, but I couldn’t ask questions, so I just enjoyed Yuhan’s broadcast.
in your own way.
hmm. Yuhani’s broadcast basically shows a fairly free atmosphere.
He laughs off the chatting that other male streamers would have already banned in the past, and rather, he himself takes the initiative and blows a violent drip.
In particular, recently, s*xual harassment chats toward Yuhani, who is overflowing with decadent beauty, have increased rapidly.
and.
I’m not proud of it, but in the feast of countless s*xual harassment chats… … Aristo235. I was too.
A day in the past when stress was piled up. I felt a tremendous level of pleasure after chatting like that with a sub account.
A deviation that crosses the line for the first time in my life.
The target was a very handsome man with a warm heart unlike his appearance.
Afterward, I fell into a considerable sense of guilt and shame, but that feeling always remained in my heart. It was an impossible pleasure to forget.
That guilt continued until the day Yuhani slept over at my house… … Now the mindset has changed.
I went to see Junhyeok on the day Yuhani passed away, but after that, I don’t know why, but my mind has cleared up.
There will be no such person who s*xually harasses a person he likes or a lover hiding in anonymity.
Of course I am also my lover… … I’ve never done anything like that to In Jun-hyeok.
But that memory came to mind.
My friends’ conversations in high school.
‘This bastard always goes crazy.’
‘What, you bastard. Turn it off if you twist it.’
‘No, these assholes are real!’
I don’t really like swear words coming out of my mouth.
My friends are free to swear, but it just means they didn’t like me writing.
Anyway, other than that I hated swearing, it didn’t matter.
conversation between friends.
Of course, there may be cases where this is not the case, but it is a very common situation for friends to uselessly swear at each other in a conversation.
It’s not like we’re going to get farther away with meaningless swear words anyway, but rather, we can get closer.
Also, I’ve seen quite a few cases where friends tease each other about the size of their breasts, but if you think about it, isn’t the relationship of ‘friends’ fairly guaranteed freedom of language use?
Rather, I think that I, who have avoided using profanity so far, was unique.
Yuhan and I haven’t met for a long time, but we’ve already formed a close friendship that could be called best friends.
It’s normal for ‘friends’. It’s because ‘friends’ often say swear words and dirty words.
So the s*xual harassment chat I do is a prank between friends. Something you don’t have to feel guilty about.
So, during the first two days when Yuhanie changed, we chatted hard.
The indulgence time, which was always constant, was brought forward irregularly, albeit a little.
After the broadcast, the meeting with the manager and editors, which had always been held, was postponed.
The day always ended with Yuhan’s broadcast.
But dissatisfaction eventually exploded.
[Sister, why are you acting so erratic these days? What’s going on?]
[Boss, we need to upload something on New Tube ㅠㅠ]
Tomorrow is Yuhan’s regular holiday. I really wanted to watch today’s broadcast, but now I can’t postpone my work anymore.
I wanted to finish it as soon as possible, but there were many things that were pushed back, and it is now 3:30 in the morning. The job is finally over.
I’m so sleepy I don’t even have the energy to go wash up.
First of all, I’ll have to go to sleep and watch the broadcasts I didn’t see today tomorrow.
Looking forward to tomorrow.
###
head? no time to wind up
clothes? This is not the time to choose.
Why, why did Yuhan go to load and unload?
I resent the usual thought that if the sound of support is heard during a game, it will be a hindrance. I’d turn that on too.
Shouldn’t the game have been aired on the radio rather than turned off early after the game aired? If so, could I have heard the news?
If I couldn’t do that, I should have woken up a little earlier today, what else would happen after lunch is over.
It’s all just a story of conclusions.
Now, the urgent priority is to go to Yuhani’s house as soon as possible.
Why is the underground parking lot so wide? Why is there a speed limit on this road? I have to turn right, but why are those people crossing the crosswalk so slowly?
In a situation where you can wait longer, you sound your horn and go over the speed limit little by little.
I arrived at Yuhani’s town much faster than expected, but today it’s too late at best.
I should have been here yesterday.
I park my car in a suitable place and head to the address I heard the other day.
The gloomy atmosphere that permeates the entire neighborhood eats away at me.
I’m going crazy. Really.
Steps slowed by guilt.
What to do if you study well and what to do if you have some money at home. It’s the year that you can’t take care of your own friends.
Yuhani’s house finally arrived.
I know it’s a lack of manners for a woman to suddenly visit a man’s house.
Because men say they need time to prepare when meeting someone.
But I wasn’t in a sane state of mind to think about that.
When you knock on the door, you hear a voice. It is finite.
If you don’t come out right away, it must be that your body is in a very bad condition.
Or are you ready to come out?
“Yu, Yuhan… it’s me!”
… … Aren’t you able to say something? Is that too painful?
phone call? Or should I send a text message?
Bewildered for a while. There is a noise at the door.
Yuhani’s house that I enter for the first time.
Even though it’s a serious situation, I’m so pathetic that I had high expectations for a moment that I was entering a man’s room.
It squeaks and the door opens. It’s enough to stand up! It’s fortunate.
“Yuhan! It’s okay…”
It was the first woman I had ever seen that came out. No, it’s not the first time I’ve seen it.
I’ve seen it before.
The day I first met Yuhan.
A girl in a nursery school.
That day, the one person who looked at me with a hostile gaze until the end.
The name is clear… … Was it Sehee?
She is standing on the porch and looking at me.
with the same gaze as that day.