#19
“You, why are you doing this?”
There was nobody around.
Maybe that’s why Rubia’s eyes were sweeping the pitiful air. The lost gaze wanders here and there, then droops.
Rubia’s face turned reddish as if her teeth were exposed.
Rubia’s pale pink lips, which were trembling shallowly, made an excuse rather than an excuse, leading to vomiting.
“Bur, I must have gotten into the habit. Stop without knowing… … ”
“You didn’t have this habit.”
“… … ”
If Rubia couldn’t stop biting her nails from a young age, the current situation wouldn’t have been impossible at all.
But it wasn’t
When I first saw Rubia in Frontier, it was a well-maintained nail. Beautiful nails neatly trimmed.
However, from time to time, the shape began to be crushed little by little, and now it has become a rough shape to the extent that a little crust or skin can be seen.
“I was just trying to get over it. As you said, it could just be a habit. … But when it gets this serious, it becomes a big problem. this is hurt Why are you leaving it like this?”
“… … ”
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Day by day, it increased one by one. Thumb, index finger, middle finger, ring finger… … Biting, biting, and eventually moving on to the next nail when there are no more nails left to bite. It was kind of like a compulsion.
I contemplate the sight of Rubia biting her nails until they bleed.
It was no different than sleeping.
He wasn’t even a kid with such a bad habit, but when I think about how Rubia has been lately—— I’m sure there must be other concerns that I haven’t been able to tell.
“Okay, I’ll fix it. I guess it’s a real habit. Thank you for your concern. Thank you… … ”
“Of course, it is important to fix it, but the thing that worries me like I’m going to die is why I have this habit, man.”
“… … ”
“I wouldn’t have been bitten like this for no reason. How are you doing this? It seems to be getting worse lately.”
“… … ”
Rubia struggled to release the wrist that was holding me, but in the end, she knew it wasn’t possible, so she just kept avoiding my eyes.
As I’ve said before, Rubia tends to show emotions on the outside. Trying to avoid me like this means that there is a point where I get stabbed. That was probably a very sensitive issue for Rubia.
I don’t like being forced to talk.
However, Rubia doesn’t like to worry about others, so she usually doesn’t open her mouth. He is a person who only speaks out words when he feels like he is about to die because it is really hard and difficult.
It didn’t seem like it was that far right now, but it was clear that something big was going on in a place I didn’t know.
“Rice, it’s nothing. It’s not serious… … ”
“It’s not serious.”
I looked down at Rubia’s wrist that I was holding on to, then lightly touched the tip of her middle finger.
“Ah-.”
“It hurts. Look.”
Rubia’s expression frowned. Isn’t it serious enough to get a reaction just by touching it slightly? Rubia bowed her head, not knowing what to say, and my face naturally deepened.
I thought things got a little better after the conversation in the hut. This seemed to be another issue.
If it were another friend, I might not have recognized the seriousness of it, but it was Rubia, no one else. Rubia, I know well. He was an unusual guy at all. There must be a reason why you can’t talk recklessly to others.
Mu is traumatized. Even Mew couldn’t tell me what he was trying to hide. When I was forced to speak, it collapsed as if it had been broken.
So, what is Rubia?
For what… …
‘… … It won’t be.’
After imagining nonsense for a moment, I opened my mouth as if muttering while looking at Rubia’s hand exposed under the bright sunlight.
“I don’t mean to scold you. That’s what I’m worried about.”
Biting your nails is an action that you subconsciously repeat to reduce anxiety or tension. Rubia was far from that side from the beginning.
Of course, Rubia is also human, so she sometimes gets nervous or anxious, but she didn’t bite her nails to this extent. Just take a deep breath to calm your mind.
“I know. However… … ”
“You are our friend. If you have any problems, tell me.”
“… … ”
Rubia lifts her head up as if possessed by my words.
Green eyes and eyes crossed.
No sound came out of her slightly opened lips, her eyes trembled shallowly like a child soaked in the rain, and eventually returned to her place. Looking down at the ground, Rubia suddenly smiled a little.
“Say it.”
“… … ?”
“If I say, what will change… … ?”
Also, it is true that there are concerns.
It took me a while to think like that.
I thought that asking Rubia about it now would be of no use. On the contrary, it may only make the situation worse.
For some reason, it seemed that Rubia would collapse on her own if she forced herself to tell me about her worries. It was kind of intuition.
“… You won’t know until you say it.”
I do not know. Why is Rubia doing this? If you didn’t tell me why I’m doing this, I’d be ignorant for the rest of my life.
Maybe this too… …
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Does it have anything to do with my lost memories?
If that was the case, what Rubia told me in the hut would have been enough.
I saved Rubia, so.
——Because you seem to love me.
“… … ”
I kept my mouth shut, pretending to wait for Rubia’s answer.
momentary silence.
Amid the chirping of birdsong in the morning, an eternity of silence continued like eternity.
That wouldn’t be it.
it would never be
If it had anything to do with it, it seemed that it was the only thing, so he repeatedly shook his head inwardly as if denying the reality he did not want to believe.
We decided to do something we hadn’t had, and I hoped Rubia wouldn’t. If Rubia does that, we won’t be friends anymore. It was a future I never wanted.
It was me who held onto it, but I wanted to let it go.
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Did you feel that your strength was a little off?
At my words that you don’t know if you don’t tell me, Rubia.
“… … Well then, I’d rather not tell you.”
As if sad, as if in vain, as if bitter, as if happy, as if sad… … . After making a face that doesn’t show emotions easily, he drew an arc on the corner of his mouth.
I couldn’t say anything.
There was no reply or apology.
The emotion reflected on Rubia’s face was completely unknown, and it was clear that my own face had been transformed into a guessable form. So, even the dull Rubia was making that kind of expression.
“… you can hate me Ezio.”
Suddenly, Rubia’s wrist was free.
“Still, I can’t hate you.”
He carefully wrapped his hand around my hand, as if it had worked, he let go of his hand and took it to the side with his back again.
… … bruises, bruises.
Passing by me in the middle of the road that stretches out in front of the elevator, Rubia starts walking slowly towards the student center where there is business.
“… See you later, Ezio.”
Exercise, work hard.
I turned my back and looked back, but I couldn’t move. The distance between me and Rubia, who had stopped in their seats, grew further and farther.
#20
Wednesday’s class time.
Mew was sitting on a bench and reading a book.
—Falak, palak.
He didn’t even hum a hum because Ezio wasn’t around, but he was definitely excited. So much so that anyone can clearly see that they are in a happy state. It was a change that might surprise anyone who saw Mew at the beginning of the school year.
… … Of course, the worries about the future did not disappear at all, but it was really great to have a few pleasant conversations with Ezio right away.
It was a situation where he was buried at the bottom to the point of going to hell, so even the slightest change, Mew reacts greatly.
I talked with Ezio, recalling old memories after a long time. That’s all. Ezio said that we should talk a lot in the future.
It was all just joy. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt this rich feeling, so I wanted to enjoy it as much as I could.
later,
Because it might not be possible.
I am also reading books that have been difficult to look at since then. Instead of reading in a quiet library, I dare bring it out and turn the pages in the sunlight.
It’s quaint, and the atmosphere is good. Mu originally liked this kind of feeling. That’s why, at Lorsen Academy, didn’t they make the backyard stairs their own place?
Some Epic class students passing by glanced at Mew reading a book on the bench, but they didn’t come. This is because there was a widespread perception that the original body was hard and cold, and that it was insignificant to strangers.
That was also what Mew wanted. alone time. Very good. The scenery of the Epic Class site was very well developed, so it was comparable to famous resorts. If you look up without reading a book, you will naturally admire the beautiful scenery. Anyway, this was a good time.
“Hey there!”
“… … ”
Unless there’s an obstruction.
Mew closed the book and left the room, and suddenly had a thought. Why should I avoid my seat? Can’t we just kick this guy out?
“… ha.”
As I thought about that, I took a short breath.
“What were you doing… … You were reading a book!”
Whether Mew sighs or not.
Sasha Elne, with a blushing expression on her face, sat down with her butt next to Mew, clapping without permission.
“What book is this? I don’t know because Sasha doesn’t read a lot of books. In fact, there are many things that I do not even know the letters! When I was young, Sasha didn’t read it and my dad read it. But when I grew up, I didn’t have a father, so there was no one to read to Sasha? After graduating, I didn’t even need to read a book, so I just didn’t read it. So Sasha… … ”
I think something great just happened.
… … hey, what to say terrible distance. no hesitation in approach. It was so outrageous that he didn’t do it to other people at all, and to only do this to himself. I heard that you wanted to make friends, but why was it you?
Even the number of times that the approach was pushed back would have easily surpassed it dozens of times. Sasha did not give in and kept bumping into each other.
Why are you desperately needlessly in a place like this… …
Mew wasn’t the type to view that as bad as Ezio had it, but this was a different story. Because it was annoying him.
The annoying thing was disgust. Even more so, if it’s not your choice.
“You didn’t tell me last time… … ”
“Oh right!”
“… … ?”
crumble, crumble.
“Would you like some sweets?”
Yum, he said and bit the cookie into his mouth.
Sasha tilted her head and held out her hand. Really small and immaculate hands like a child. There were cookies. The fragrant smell and the crispy outer surface of the cookie stimulate the salivary glands of Mu.
… … Are you trying to catch something to eat? It wasn’t that I didn’t like delicious cookies, but no, I’m closer to liking it. The giver was none other than Sasha. Mew quietly looked at Sasha’s cookie.
In fact, Sasha didn’t expect it either. The first attempt was thought to be unsuccessful.
If so, you’re out of cookies. I was thinking of passing more cookies to Mew in the future. I did.
“… … ”
It’s free, but… …
okay
Mew snatched the cookie with her mouth.
“!”
Maybe he didn’t know how to eat it, Sasha’s water-colored eyes widened to the size of a lantern.
“What.”
“… … Nope! hee hee.”
After giving it to me, Mew narrowed her eyes as if asking why she was making that face, Sasha shrugged like a puppy for a moment and then smiled brightly.
Mew, who looked at that stupid smile,
Immediately, he let out a sigh.
“… Why do you want to be friends with me, you?”
“… uh?”