＜Episode 114＞ Arguing
Tuk, Tuk Tuk.
As if trying to disturb me, who was absorbed in coding, the noise interrupted. The sound of something hitting the window. It was too annoying to use as white noise.
When I looked away, countless raindrops were pouring outside. The wind was also quite strong, and the rain seemed to fall sideways.
Is it spring rain?
In early March, the long winter had passed. The chilly wind quickly regained its warmth. The weather was warm with a hint of spring. The attire of people walking outside has also become lighter.
However, there were days when it was cold again, whether it was the spring cold or the missed winter wind. That was today. The windy and windy scenery was truly terrifying. I thought a typhoon had already arrived.
I put the earphones on and put them back down.
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Many thoughts cross my mind as I look out the window. I decided to take a break for a while to clear my mind.Si-eun survived her early pregnancy well. In terms of timing, it has almost reached a plateau. It is said that there is no stable period in pregnancy, but at least the most dangerous period has passed.
The appearance of the child was also confirmed by ultrasound. The doctor said he looked very healthy. All tests were normal. Even though there was no tea, Si-eun’s belly also began to sing gradually.
Each of these aroused a new sense of responsibility as a father.
I just got my driver’s license. I don’t have a car yet, but I plan to buy it as soon as I get the chance. When Si-eun has an emergency, she can run right to the hospital.
Tock, tock. The early spring rain struck the window again.
Winter, which welcomed many new things, passed like this.
I was immersed in emotion, but other noises were mixed in. It was the sound of a cell phone vibrating on the desk.
The name written on the screen is ‘Company person in charge’. It seems that the new company has contacted you.
I got a call right away.
[hello?]
[Oh, yes. hello?]
A voice I had heard several times came over. As always, the tone of a tired office worker. However, today was a bit urgent.
What are you talking about?
[yes. Please speak.]
[Ah, yes… … .]
The person in charge who has extended his tail speaks with a crawling voice.
[Our HR manager left this time, so the contact was late. that, over there. The work date has been set.]
[Oh, is it?]
[Yes. But that date… … .]
Again this is a long ending. As if to urge him to [Yes.] and added Chuimsae, the person in charge added it with a sarcastic tone.
[From next Wednesday.]
[Next Wednesday?]
For a moment, I thought I heard it wrong.
I hovered my mouse over the corner of the monitor to check that today is Friday. In other words, it meant that the next five days would be my first day of work.
Anyway, was it too late to contact you? When I let out a [huh.] sound in my bewildered heart, the person in charge also made a similar sound.
[really sorry. It looks like the handover didn’t go well. I thought something was strange, so I checked today and there was no contact, so I just called.]
[no. it’s okay. Thank you for checking and contacting us.]
[Oh, yes. Anyway, I’ll see you on Wednesday.]
[yes. See you on Wednesday.]
After sharing the business, the phone hung up.
I threw my phone on the bed to relieve some of the stuffy feeling.
After hearing the story, I don’t think it’s the manager’s fault. Even if it was the person in charge’s fault, there was no way I could change it out of anger.
If this was the case, any problems that were encountered immediately had to be resolved quickly.
First, we should deal with the most urgent.
It was to inform Si-eun of this news.
I left the room and found Si-eun. He thought he was going to his room, but Si-eun sat quietly in the kitchen chair.
Is it because the sun is obscured by dark clouds? Even after lunch, the house is very dark. Now that I noticed the strangeness and looked around, the lights in the living room and kitchen were all turned off.
I turned on the light by pressing the switch and sat across from Si-eun. Si-eun rolled her eyes and didn’t even make eye contact.
Somehow it felt different from usual.
“honey.”
“why?”
The accent in answering was sharp. Have you ever noticed a hint?
“Hey, the day I start work has been decided.”
“Someday?”
“… … .”
hard to tell I bit my lip for a moment.
“That’s from next Wednesday.”
“What?”
Si-eun shook her head abruptly. His eyes were as cold as sleet. There was a wrinkle between his forehead, and he bit it so hard that he trembled.
“Why are you telling me in such a hurry?”
asks like a shot. Maybe it was because I didn’t even have time to prepare. It was hard to see, and it looked like he was very angry.
He lowered his eyes and replied.
“I’m sorry, honey. I just got a call too… … .”
“Does that make sense? Of course, shouldn’t you have checked beforehand?”
“… … .”
It was as Si-eun pointed out. If I had contacted the person in charge and confirmed the date, this wouldn’t have happened. I can’t say that I’m not responsible for something like this.
It looks like he left his wife with a child and went to work. It would have been right to do a thorough check like this.
There was no excuse. He made eye contact and put an apology to his lips.
“Sorry.”
Exactly what I was going to do, but my lips stopped.
When I looked up, I saw Si-eun covering her mouth with both hands. His eyes were wide open, his mouth and hands were trembling.
Si-eun, who had been frozen as if surprised by the fluff, quickly wiped her palms up and covered her face.
“me… … Why am I mad… … .”
Si-eun muttered: Is this a question you ask me? Or is it something you ask yourself? I had no way of knowing.
Si-eun’s voice continued as she was about to be embarrassed by the sudden change of circumstances.
“sorry… … .”
Here, there was full of weeping.
◎
“Sorry. honey.”
This was Si-eun’s first words as she lay on the bed.
I couldn’t watch Si-eun as she started to cry. Immediately, Si-eun got up and brought him to the room.
As she moved while being supported, Si-eun was sobbing, hiding her face with her palms.
I thought it was bad for some reason.
It was strange to see him sitting in the dark house without the lights on. It was also strange that he didn’t talk to me when I came out of the room, and that he didn’t even make eye contact even when he sat across from me.
I ask with a sense of embarrassment.
“honey. What’s wrong with you?”
Si-eun kept her mouth shut for a moment.
“no. I don’t have… … .”
“No?”
“For some reason, I was depressed and annoyed, so I got angry with the honey… … . It wasn’t anything to be upset about, but for a moment… … .”
Continue to mumble. At first glance, he looked a bit confused.
In fact, it has been that way ever since. He didn’t even know why he was angry, so he even dropped his body.
There’s nothing bad about it, but I’m crying and annoyed. There was only one way to help in this situation.
He reached out one arm and stroked Si-eun’s head.
when was it Si-eun said that my worries and worries were resolved thanks to my touch. Aside from the fundamental solution, wouldn’t it be effective to a certain level?
Every time his palms rubbed, Si-eun’s crying subsided.
When Si-eun had regained some stability, I opened my mouth.
“honey. are you okay. understand it all In the early stages of pregnancy, physical symptoms or hormonal influences can cause sudden psychological changes. Depression or irritability… … .”
Next, be kind as much as possible.
“So it’s okay. It’s not all honey’s fault that you suddenly burst into anger. Because the body is like that.”
Si-eun, who was listening to me, immediately lowered her palms, revealing only her eyes. His swollen, bloodshot eyes were still weak.
Si-eun sniffed for a moment in that state.
“You know?”
“I know.”
“How do you know?”
“How do you know?”
“… … Have you ever been pregnant?”
will there be
At any rate, he seemed to be relieved to see him even throwing jokes. When I was relieved, I let out a sigh. Si-eun still looked at me with regretful eyes.
Do not stop stroking the hand and explain.
“I studied pregnancy and parenting all the time. Look for information, search for anything you can do, and then understand Honey. It was the only thing I could do.”
If I say it was very successful, it’s not necessarily true. At least I think I did my best. It is probably thanks to such studies that I understand Si-eun now.
Si-eun heard my story and tried to get her upper body up. When I grabbed her arm to avoid putting too much pressure on the boat, Si-eun hung up on me.
Si-eun, who was finally seated, looked directly at me.
“I worked so hard, I’m sorry I got angry.”
It was a broken voice.
say sorry again I guess you didn’t understand my story. He smiled brightly as a sign of reassurance, and gently hugged Si-eun’s body.
Sweep the back of the head.
“Even if it’s not your fault. Besides, honey, you’re right. I should have called ahead of time and asked.”
“… … .”
Si-eun shrugged slightly as her hand was itchy. But that’s it. Nothing was added.
If I had to say something, I’m sure it would be “I’m sorry.” I’d rather be grateful for quietly listening.
Of course, it was a sudden notice for me as well. But that’s just an excuse. Actually, there was a way to check with the person in charge several times.
Now I don’t have much time to spend together before I go to work. For that reason, it is natural that Si-eun complains of anxiety. It was not unusual for Si-eun to be angry.
What will happen to Si-eun when I start going to work?
Fortunately, it was about to enter a stable period. Because there is little chance that something serious will happen that cannot be dealt with alone.
still.
“I’m worried.”
As she muttered a little, Si-eun shook her head.
“no. Don’t worry, you can go to work. A while ago… … I just got weird for a while.”
“Um, no. not that.”
He smiles and continues talking.
“It’s because I’m worried about leaving you alone at home, honey.”
“what. Did you mean that?”
After correcting the misunderstanding, Si-eun snorted.
“It’s okay too.”
He replied with a serious tone:
It was not a joke, a joke, or an empty remark, it was a tone that was very powerful.
“Are you really okay?”
“yes. I have something to replace my honey.”
“Anything to replace me?”
It was a shocking word. What are you trying to replace me with? No, if there is something to replace me, does that mean I don’t have to be at all?
As she tilted her head, Si-eun smiled and moved her body slowly.
Then he picked up an object from the end of the bed and presented it to me proudly.
“He is there.”
The things that Si-eun put in the forefront.
It was the giant teddy bear I bought.
Come to think of it, didn’t I mention it while giving the teddy bear as a gift?
When I go to work or go to training camp, there will be times when I am absent. Then ask him to use him.
well Of course, it may be able to soothe Si-eun’s loneliness. What I’m worried about is what happens to Si-eun. In that case, this bear doesn’t have the strength to help.
… … I decided not to make such an objection.
It must have been the words I tried so hard not to worry about. It would be better to listen straight away.
“Yes. He was there.”
He said with a soft smile. In response, Si-eun smiled brightly.
“yes. So don’t worry and go to work. When things are stable, you will be able to freely visit nearby marts in the meantime.”
“okay. I won’t worry. But if anything happens, call me right away.”
“That’s natural.”
Si-eun answered, holding the teddy bear in her arms.
I used to be depressed, but now it’s a bit more normal. Thinking it was a million luck, I stretched out.
I could see the weather outside, which had stopped raining.
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Maybe it was a shower.In the meantime, the work schedule has been fixed. I’m going to work from next Wednesday, so there were only a few days left to spend 24 hours with Si-eun on weekdays. When I came to this thought, I felt a bit sad even for this brief moment.
I fiddle with the teddy bear for a while.
“honey. Shall we go on a date next week?”
“date?”
Si-eun poked her face to the side of the bear and asked. I just nodded out loud.
“yes. Let’s go to any department store and look at children’s clothes. When I start to go to work, it will be time on the weekend. It was dangerous because there were so many people back then.”
“Um, it will be fine.”
“right? It is said that it is time to move slowly. It’s just the right time.”
“I know. I was lucky enough to get it right.”
It was fortunate among misfortunes. If I had left work a little earlier, I wouldn’t have even had a chance like this.
I was trying to comfort you like this, but Si-eun spoke with a sarcastic tone.
“I’m going on a date after a long time.”
and smiled broadly.
“great?”
“good. You couldn’t go on a date with kids.”
“Did you go for a walk?”
“A walk is different from a date.”
what’s different I don’t know, I guess When she quietly shrugged her shoulders, Si-eun laughed out loud again.
The bloody atmosphere up until now has gone nowhere, and only the sound of clear and pure laughter remained around Si-eun.
There are some tears in the corners of my eyes. There were traces of luck left in my eyes. When you look at me, you only see a cheerful smile.
After all, Si-eun was much more beautiful with such a happy face.
“honey.”
“why?”
“I’ll make sure you never get angry for the rest of your life.”
“To say nonsense.”
I spoke what I felt deeply, but it was dismissed at once. How sad
He said, “Hmm,” and let out a feeling of embarrassment, and Si-eun chuckled.
“But, if she works so hard.”
Then tilt your head slightly.
“I will never be angry for the rest of my life.”
said this
This time it was my turn to counterattack.
“It’s nonsense.”
“I’m serious.”
“I was serious too.”
“really… … .”
“You mean you’re not angry?”
“Honey, I’m annoyed.”
Si-eun sighed and shook her head.
As if angry as before, as if vomited as always.
Even in this quarrel, the tip of our mouths were raised.