＜Episode 119＞ Again, a walk
It was the middle of summer, but it was not hot outside. From what I heard, the heat this year seems to be concentrated in August. In the news, it was said that it was unusual. It is also referred to as the effect of global warming.
Whatever the cause, it’s good that it’s not muggy. It was like late spring rather than summer, so I thought that walking outside would not have a big impact on my physical condition.
It was thanks to this fickle weather that Si-eun and I went out for a walk.
One day in mid-July. Si-eun and I were walking along the campus promenade.
The due date is the beginning of September, so there are not many days left to meet Sarang. Si-eun’s stomach also swelled a lot. Now, anyone could tell at once that she was pregnant. Of course, I couldn’t wear the clothes I used to wear.
Perhaps because of it, Si-eun came out wearing the dress I bought her a while ago.
At first glance, while trying to check the condition, I inadvertently lost my eyes.
The one-piece outfit reminiscent of a pure white wedding dress was always attractive. It feels like a waste to look away.
As I stared at him, of course, Si-eun’s eyes met. Si-eun’s head tilts.
“why?”
“no. Because it’s pretty.”
“right? I think this dress is very pretty. It was a good choice for a sweetheart.”
‘For a sweetheart’. I wanted to protest the expression with a strange meaning, but I quickly shut my mouth. My aesthetic sense is at a level that I can’t even trust. Wouldn’t that be a hundred times correct?
However, there was one more point I would like to point out.
“Not that.”
“yes?”
While stroking Si-eun’s smirking cheek.
“It’s not about clothes, it’s that Honey is pretty.”
“… … huh.”
It’s a sincere compliment, but only snorts. This was too much.
I just knew it was like that and immediately said, “Huh, heh.” A sound that matched the beat continued. I think it was a hum, not a snort. It was so funny that I barely swallowed a smile that was about to form.
With Si-eun’s song as the background, I fell into my thoughts.
Come to think of it, what did you do last summer?
Looking back, there were so many memories that came back to me. We just started dating, we spend vacation together, we go to Busan to play, we say hello to each other’s parents, we propose… … .
Besides, I enjoyed various dates. There are so many that it is difficult to list them all, but each one was a precious memory.
In the fall, I went to school to prepare for the wedding, and in the winter I fell in love and stayed at home. Looking back, it seems that those days were the most romantic times.
We, who were like that until last year, are now parents of one child. It was truly a feeling of exasperation.
Si-eun’s song stopped. The sound of breathing that followed was a little hoarse. In the second half of pregnancy, the organs are compressed and breathing becomes shorter. It must have been hard to breathe as I hummed while walking under the sun.
I’d rather rest somewhere. Just then, I saw a bench in the shade of a tree.
“Let’s rest here for a while.”
Si-eun nodded with a smile on her face.
He brushed off the bench with his palm. It’s a place with frequent traffic, so dust shouldn’t have accumulated, but pretending to do it makes me feel more comfortable.
After the show-off cleaning was finished, Si-eun was seated with a light smile when beckoning. sit next to you
“Um, it’s comfortable.”
Si-eun said while stretching her arms out.
“Did you have a hard time?”
“little. My stomach is heavy.”
“I will.”
This will make it difficult to walk for a long time. I had already walked quite a bit, and after taking a short break, I decided to go home.
By the way, when I sat down, it was an open road. There were no large buildings around, so I could see the road I had walked so far at a glance. There were hardly any human shadows in sight.
I leaned back on the bench, looking at the scenery.
“There aren’t many people.”
“It’s vacation and it’s the weekend. Whether you’re going out to play, in your room, or a graduate student, maybe.”
“but.”
I nodded my head in agreement.
After a while some of those ‘little’ people started coming this way. While walking closer while talking with the party, they found us and involuntarily averted their eyes. It looked like they were talking about our relationship just by looking at them while keeping their distance.
The news of the marriage and pregnancy of Si-eun, a famous student in the school, was of course a big topic. It felt like seeing a celebrity by witnessing the person in person.
It’s not a gossip, but it’s not very happy either. As Si-eun’s eyes turned towards her, she leaned forward and covered it.
Before asking a question, I teased her for a bit.
“Didn’t there be anything uncomfortable or anything like that while I was at work?”
“yes. are you okay. Because she leaves work early too.”
Si-eun replied with a smile. His suspicious eyes also faded. Feeling relieved, he continued the story.
“Actually, the team members are helping me a lot. Even if I’m busy, I don’t do a lot of work, and I urge them to leave work early. They told me to just drop out of the meeting. Or, they take care of me and have dinner at lunch.”
“They all seem to be good people.”
“yes. I’m really happy.”
If I had been assigned to a team without such consideration, it would not have been so hard for me and Si-eun.
Thinking so, Si-eun lowered her gaze and spoke.
“… … It must be difficult to come to work at the company. Sorry for waking you up every night.”
“What?”
Si-eun spit out behind-the-scenes words without even giving me a glance.
“I keep falling asleep these days. I often go to the bathroom while sleeping. Every time she wakes up and asks if she’s okay… … . I came in after working outside, but it seems like I’m not getting enough rest.”
“ah.”
was that talk
I heard that falling asleep and going to the bathroom frequently is a typical symptom of late pregnancy. This is proof that our love is growing in Si-eun’s belly.
So it wasn’t difficult for me at all. To be honest, I only worry about Si-eun, who suffers from lack of sleep.
Anyway, I apologize for not being a big deal. He smiled exaggeratedly and patted his back.
“Why are you sorry about that?”
“You must be tired.”
“I am not very tired. Honey, I guess it’s because I listened to her and exercised. Or maybe it’s because Honey makes a delicious and healthy table for you. furthermore.”
“furthermore?”
After resting for a while, Si-eun raised her eyes again.
face-to-face and talk
“You used to be like that. Instead of sorry, say thank you. So, just say thank you to me.”
“ah… … . right. That’s what I said.”
Si-eun smiled as if she just remembered it.
I think he forgot what he said. I think I’m the only one who remembered what I forgot, so I’m a little proud. He shrugged his shoulders in the dark.
Towards me like that, Si-eun moved her softened lips.
“thank you. honey.”
“yes. Well done.”
He answered in the most respectful voice possible.
“My tummy has grown a lot too. The day will come when true love will be seen.”
“right. There are less than two months left until the due date.”
“Two months… … . I don’t know what kind of person our love will grow into.”
“Isn’t that our share?”
Then, Si-eun gently stroked her stomach. That was the right story. Because what kind of person Sarang grows up to depend on our upbringing.
What to do and what not to do with your child.
I also studied a lot about parenting, but I still couldn’t get the hang of it.
When I asked the former boss or the team leader, only the answer came back, “It’s not something that can be done by studying.” I hope you don’t have an irresistible personality like me. It was just worrying.
said it like a joke.
“How should love be nurtured?”
“Well. It’s my first time becoming a parent, so I don’t know.”
I know it’s the first time There was a clear playfulness on Si-eun’s face, which she glanced at. I think it was a joke of conversion.
Then Si-eun quickly opened her mouth again.
“Still, that’s it. our love is… … .”
Si-eun hesitated for a moment.
“I want you to grow up doing everything you want to do from a young age.”
“… … .”
It’s hard to say here. He quietly nodded his head.
I am not unaware of the feelings that will permeate in this wind. Si-eun, who has suffered a lot since childhood, and me, who has gone through a difficult time as much as that. It was also the only part where we were completely different.
The desire to only give happiness to our children is probably the same for both of us.
I don’t want to talk about being sad under the sunny weather. How to raise Sarang, well, I don’t think it’s something I’m going to have to worry about right now anyway. There’s no way it’s going to go the way it’s been decided.
This is probably the only thing I can do now.
He removed the hand that was sweeping his back, and this time he placed it on Si-eun’s stomach.
“Let’s work hard on prenatal education so that our love can grow well. From this time on, things like hearing and memory have developed a lot. I need to say a lot of nice things. Oh, and it’s nice to see the surrounding scenery while taking a walk.”
Si-eun chuckled at my explanation.
“So I saw a lot while I was there. Even at home, I stimulate them by solving sudoku-like things. You have to work hard for prenatal education.”
“yes. You are doing well.”
Si-eun felt refreshed when she tapped her hair as a gift. When you reveal your joy without hiding it, it feels like happiness is contagious to you. Likewise, she opened her mouth with a smile.
“I need to hear my father’s voice a lot.”
Then he put his head in front of Si-eun’s stomach. Si-eun flinched as if surprised for a moment, then immediately brushed my hair.
He whispered while enjoying the tickling sensation.
“my love. it’s daddy I can hear?”
“yes.”
The person who answered was, of course, not love, but Si-eun.
“Looks good. I’m just kicking it.”
“really? How smart can our love be to hear Daddy’s voice from the inside out.”
“Actually, I’ve been wearing it since before.”
okay. I get it.
Si-eun smiled sarcasticly when she regained her taste.
“It’s a joke. I’ve been kicking myself since I heard my dad’s voice. I guess he’s really smart just like his dad.”
“what.”
This sound made it even better. I scratched the back of my neck and lifted my face to see Si-eun staring at me. As soon as he blinks, he begins to stroke the ends of his hair. Then the lips parted.
“You have changed a lot, too.”
“okay?”
“yes. I feel like a father, too.”
“I’m going to be a father soon.”
“It’s also about expressing your feelings well.”
“Has it been like that since a long time ago?”
Si-eun’s head tilted. It looked like he was asking what he was saying.
“Think of the past. You helped me, but you pretended not to be in vain. Even when I got a little better, I was always clumsy in expressing myself.”
“Well, I did.”
I can never deny it I was embarrassed and scratched my cheek.
“Because Honey, who used to be like this, is now able to express herself well. It has changed a lot.”
“is it?”
“yes. Besides this, a lot has changed.”
“okay?”
After asking the question, Si-eun spread out her hand as she waited for the next story. Grasp your thumb with the other hand. Each time it came out, it looked like he was about to fold his fingers.
In that state, Si-eun whispered.
“As well as helping with housework. He doesn’t spare any skinship and does it often. I also got used to talking to other people. It’s rare these days to leave me alone while coding. There… … .”
Then fold the last little finger.
“Even the ones who always try to take care of me by my side. Everything has changed a lot from before.”
“… … uhm.”
is it.
Of course, I felt a change within me. Should we call it change, though it is closer to growth?
At first, it seems that I have become a more social person… … . what is it. It’s hard to list yourself. According to a friend’s comment, “I’ve become more like a person” would be a perfect fit.
But to Si-eun, who was watching me right next to me, all these changes must have been noticeable.
How happy she was, Si-eun folded her fingers and delivered them to me one by one.
I wish there was no other wife like this in the world. My heart felt warm and my whole body felt itchy. It was also evident that the corners of the mouth were loosening.
His lips moved arbitrarily, perhaps because of the boiling emotions.
“I, too, have come to like a lot of things thanks to Honey.”
I said it, but even I couldn’t figure out what it meant. It was just a passing thought that popped into my mouth.
Si-eun is not going to miss this prey. Si-eun looked up as if he was aiming for a gap.
“For example?”
“Uh… … .”
Bewildered, he was stunned. The tip of the tongue was also limp. That’s right. Thanks to Si-eun, what has I come to like?
It was for a moment that I was hardened in my gloomy heart. As I recalled the examples, a few immediately came to mind.
“First of all, I hated going out in the old days. These days, walking together and getting some fresh air feels good.”
“Well, that’s a positive change.”
“Besides, I love fried rice.”
“Because it’s the first dish I taught you?”
“yes.”
When he answered honestly, Si-eun covered her mouth and smiled.
He looked at Si-eun like that and took out the last one.
“and. More than anything else, I really fell in love with a person named Yoo Si-eun.”
“What?”
Was this unexpected? Si-eun’s laughter grew louder. At this point, it’s a laugh. With Si-eun’s small hands, she couldn’t even cover it anymore.
Si-eun, who finally had a laugh, muttered to me to be heard.
“You really do all these things.”
Then.
“… … The person who used to be like a pure white sketchbook is now like this.”
He added in a sentimental tone.
How do you say ‘this way’? There was no need to ask for this part.
I turned around for a moment and looked around.
Blue sky and dazzling sunlight.
Bright yellow flowers and green tree leaves.
A pure white dress that resembles a heart, and cheeks that are pale red.
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My world was colored like this.The sketchbook, which used to be pure white, was filled with many colors before I knew it.
This is all… … .
“The sweetheart painted it.”
“yes?”
Let me say it out loud again.
“Honey, you colored me.”
A word that fully expresses your true feelings.
At these short words, Si-eun bit her lip as if surprised.
Both cheeks gradually turned red, and a gentle smile was drawn on the corner of his mouth.
After that, we only looked at each other for a while. Neither Si-eun nor Si-eun opened their mouths. The playful atmosphere up until now stopped in an instant, and only a warm air flowed around.
For this moment, it felt like we were the only ones here.
Si-eun, who had stopped all the time, immediately grabbed my hand lightly.
“yes… … .”
Then in a voice mixed with heat.
“Maybe.”
replied:
Did we look back on the journey we walked during the time we shared only glances? What you’ve been through, and the emotions you’ve felt in it. Did I reflect on the moments that gave me color one by one?
At least, I did.
When you share your heart, your whole body heats up. My chest was beating fast. Riding hands connected to Si-eun, I could feel each other’s heartbeats coming and going.
I like this mood, but… … It’s going to be a bit frustrating when you’re doing this all the way back.
To calm the atmosphere, he asked in a slightly mean tone.
“What do you think? Were you impressed?”
Of course, there was no way Si-eun would give up. Si-eun squinted her eyes.
“You spoke well for a sweetheart.”
Would you like to
Anyway, I’d like to go slowly now. Since the stomach is heavy, it would consume a lot of stamina just to be outside. It would be better in many ways to rest at home.
You have to go back as far as you have walked. The road home is not short. Our walk continues.
He held the hand that held him tighter and spoke.
“let’s go.”
“okay.”
Si-eun nodded in response.
That day, our steps back home were very slow.
The desire to enjoy every moment of happiness seemed to be the same as that of Nana and Si-eun.