＜Episode 121＞ Happy Birthday 1
“it’s okay?”
“yes. You still have to be patient.”
Si-eun smiled faintly at my question.
I’m still patient… … . I had no choice but to keep my mouth shut at the words that seemed to have a foreboding of the time of suffering that was to come.
It wasn’t that it wasn’t, but it seemed that the dawn that would come after a while would never be short.
On a Saturday night, Si-eun complained of pain. It happened in the hospital family delivery room.
Time does not allow slashing. Neither ahead nor lagging behind, everyone walks towards tomorrow at the same speed.
The expected date of birth, which I had been waiting for for several months, is only slowly approaching the end. He didn’t come early when he was in a hurry, and he didn’t come late when he was relaxed.
A week before her due date, she started preparing for childbirth.
According to the doctor’s advice, I brought a maternity bag and set up a postpartum care center to use after childbirth. I even got permission from the team leader so that I could leave work whenever the time came.
And Saturday evening, a few days before the due date.
I glanced at Si-eun on the bed and was banging on the keyboard.
Originally, I was going to sit next to him and watch him all the time, but Si-eun pushed me away saying that his eyes were burdensome. Si-eun expresses her unwillingness to burden me in this way.
Of course, there was no significant difference in the results. Because I was sitting in front of the monitor, pretending not to be, and observing Si-eun from the side.
But, somehow, Si-eun’s condition was a bit strange today. Si-eun, who was always active, rapidly subsided in the afternoon. Unlike Si-eun who likes small talk, she kept her mouth shut and did not open it.
It was very different from what I had seen so far.
It seems that the strong feeling was not wrong. Si-eun slowly got out of bed and grabbed my sleeve.
“honey.”
“why?”
Si-eun responds in a hastily manner with hesitation.
“The dew just came out… … . My stomach hurts a little.”
he whispered.
‘Dew’ is a small amount of bleeding that appears before childbirth. The doctor said that if you see this, you will usually have a baby within a few days at the latest.
That would mean that the time is getting closer.
“Shall we go to the hospital right away?”
Si-eun shook her head.
“I think it will be fine now. The pain cycle is long… … .”
“okay?”
“yes. Because it may not be today. For now, let’s wait at home comfortably.”
“Um, okay. I’ll always be by your side, so tell me whenever it hurts more. I’ll call a taxi right away.”
“yes. thank you.”
Si-eun answered with a strong tone. There was also a pink smile on her face.
Saying it was going to be okay didn’t seem like a lie, at least until now.
From this point on, I put a chair by the bed and read a book.
It’s bearable, but it’s a painful situation anyway. As a husband, it was natural for him to want to help out by his side.
There was no way I could do anything with it, so I just held Si-eun’s hand tightly.
With this alone, Si-eun did not hide her joy.
The hand he was holding trembled from time to time. I looked into Si-eun’s face each time, but Si-eun always gave me a hazy smile. As if trying to convey the message “Not yet” to me.
But the tremors gradually became more frequent. Afterwards, the intensity of the pain became so severe that I was able to hold on to my hand tightly.
Si-eun’s face also darkened as time passed.
At this point, it was difficult to keep an eye on it.
“honey. Shall we go to the hospital?”
I asked again carefully.
It was the same question, but the answer was different.
“… … yes.”
◎
On the way to the hospital, I called my mother. I decided that it would be better to inform my parents or Si-eun’s mother about the situation.
That was the only purpose, the mother asked a question.
“Where is the hospital?”
I was a bit surprised to confirm.
“Uh, will you come?”
“okay. I am a little worried.”
“I’m fine.”
“Not you, but our Si-eun.”
She was a ruthless mother.
Anyway, when I asked about her intentions, Si-eun accepted it with a happy expression. In the end, for ‘our Si-eun’, my mother also decided to come to the hospital.
As soon as she arrived at the hospital, Si-eun was tested.
The nurse, who received the results, said to us.
“You have to wait a little longer.”
A word that is still a long way off. This meant that the cervix was not open enough to begin the birth procedure.
He said that perhaps it was thanks to the fact that he came to the hospital after enduring labor at home, and that it was enough to watch the progress in the family delivery room.
After some formalities, we headed to the delivery room.
Eventually, Ringer was stuck in Si-eun’s arm. Several test instruments were also attached to Si-eun’s body. He looked like some kind of patient.
Still, when Si-eun entered the delivery room, her behavior was the same as usual. The grunting at home had also disappeared. To the extent that he talks to me in a normal way.
“This day is coming.”
Si-eun put her hand on her forehead and whispered.
He held his hand lightly.
“I know. We will be really moms and dads in a little while.”
“I still don’t feel it.”
“Having suffered ten months?”
“Actually, maybe I just gained weight all this time?”
“If that was the case, it would be funny.”
“Is not it?”
Si-eun chuckled and responded.
There was a faint moan mixed with the voice that continued like a joke.
I thought it got better, but the pain is still there. I heard that the pain increases step by step until just before childbirth. If so, you must be enduring the pain now.
He rubbed Si-eun’s legs and parted his lips.
“honey. If it hurts, it can hurt.”
“You talked about it. Because I am patient.”
“Don’t be patient. You can just defeat me as much as it hurts, so express yourself as much as you want.”
“Why do I do that?”
The foolish glances flew in. that’s the word
“Anyway, if it hurts, I can’t stand it. I’ll keep holding your hand, so if you’re tired, call me anytime. I’ll sit right next to you.”
“okay.”
Si-eun nodded slightly.
“Still, if it hurts too much from the beginning, I will not be able to lose strength later. I’m going to hit you when I’m really sick later. Don’t worry too much.”
“That worries me a little.”
“Before, I thought I was going to beat you to my heart’s content.”
After the useless chatter, as always, Si-eun showed a light smile.
As usual, the eyes that drew the pretty arc were trembling slightly today.
In any case, she was an ungrateful wife.
Si-eun is not stubborn enough to endure the pain of childbirth. Of course I know it well. The nurse regularly checks the condition and returns, so it might be better to put your worries aside.
However, it wasn’t that easy.
Throughout the transition from night to dawn, Si-eun tossed and turned her delicate body in the blanket.
Occasionally, when a patient moan came out of Si-eun’s mouth, I also had to bite my lip and hold on.
For several months, I had to embrace Si-eun, who embraced the child, because I couldn’t bear the child instead. I had a heartbreaking day.
Even now, I felt far more helpless than that. It was natural to be heartbroken.
I couldn’t sleep in this situation. He had to stay up at dawn by pulling up Si-eun’s blanket or rubbing his arms and legs.
At some point, Si-eun also gave up on falling asleep and opened her eyes.
Then, when our eyes met, a dry laugh escaped Si-eun’s mouth.
Si-eun then motioned for him to come closer. Do you have anything to say? He immediately put his ear to Si-eun’s lips.
Si-eun, heh, smiled.
“What father suffers more than a child-bearer.”
A playful voice tickled his ears. In Si-eun’s eyes, did I seem more difficult than him? At the same time, he whispered in my ear.
“It’s the first time something like this has happened, so I don’t know what to do.”
Si-eun frowned for a moment, then whispered in her ear again.
“You can just sleep. When I wake up, the baby will be with me.”
Good at jokes too. This time, without saying a word, he passed it over and stroked his cheek.
Si-eun closed her mouth and felt my hand.
In the meantime, the nurse continued to visit the delivery room to check Si-eun’s condition.
How many times did you visit? The nurse, who read the number on the machine, asked, “Are you okay?” asked.
Si-eun, who nodded hard, didn’t seem to be okay at all.
The figure that was initially 2cm was gradually increased to 3cm and 4cm.
When it reached 5cm, it was difficult for Si-eun to stand it. A wrinkle formed between the forehead, and strength entered the hand that held me. Even with the nurse’s question, he was only moving his head now.
Soon the nurse called me with a wink.
“I think we should be ready to go in a few minutes. If you sit back and practice your strength, the doctor will come in later.”
“Ah yes. All right.”
When I answered immediately, the nurse turned her back to Si-eun.
The words conveyed in an office-like tone contained an enormous inner meaning.
In the next few minutes, the process of childbirth finally begins… … We will meet love.
After the nurse taught me how to push and breathe, I got out of the delivery room.
Inside the delivery room where only the two of us were left.
Si-eun was sitting on the bed, and I was holding hands next to him.
Si-eun was in pain for a long time even lying down. When he got his body up and gave him strength, the pain seemed to have gotten worse.
Now that it’s hard to even touch my body, Si-eun slowly puts my hand down.
From now on, it was really Si-eun’s turn to overcome alone.
After a while, the door to the delivery room opened. Unlike before, this time the sound of footsteps overlapped.
When I turned around, a doctor and several nurses were coming in together.
“hello. Are you having a hard time? I’ll see you.”
In line with the doctor’s words, the nurses laid Si-eun down and started the final inspection.
With him, on Si-eun’s stomach, a blue piece of paper that could only be seen in an operating room was placed. At the edge of the hand, a bar was erected to hold and strengthen during childbirth.
After a brief examination period, the doctor spoke in a quick voice.
“The cervix was completely open. Now, if you work hard at the right time, the baby will come out more and more. From now on, please do as I give you a signal.”
“yes… … .”
A voice almost cut off from Si-eun’s mouth was scattered.
Immediately following the doctor’s signal, Si-eun grabbed the rod and began to give it strength.
As I expected, it was sad to see her biting her teeth and sweating profusely to endure the pain.
Again, time did not allow the passing of time.
Even if it’s just for an hour, it would be nice if it went by a little faster.
The only thing I could do at this moment was to give energy by my side.
When Si-eun gave her strength, she whispered in her ear, “Fighting, Si-eun.” It was a bonus that I also clenched my fists and put strength in my body.
When Si-eun takes a break, “Almost done. Just a little more.” and gave me strength. I don’t know if it’s almost done or not, but I believed that this would be considered a lie in good faith.
But was this alone not enough?
In the end, Si-eun lay down as if she had completely exhausted her stamina. His fingers and cheeks trembled. I couldn’t find any time to spare in the sight of Jin running out and panting for breath.
Perhaps you have just reached your limit.
On one side, doctors and nurses began to whisper.
The sound is not small, but if the natural childbirth fails, maybe you are trying to start a cesarean section right away.
He bowed his head and whispered into Si-eun’s ear.
“Si-eun. It’s too hard?”
“… … Yes.”
Only a sound came back that I did not know whether it was an answer or a moan.
His eyes lost focus and shimmered.
I straightened my back and looked up at the ceiling.
It was so sad that I couldn’t watch it any longer. It felt like my chest was being ripped apart. My throat was choked, and my stomach was getting worse as if I was going to vomit in vain.
I can’t hug Si-eun, who is struggling, or care for her. The feeling of helplessness was raging, and it felt like my whole body was about to collapse.
But he couldn’t do such an ugly thing.
I have to become a tree standing tall by Si-eun until the end.
He made fun of his mouth while forcing his stomach.
“Si-eun. you’re doing so well ‘Cause you’ve been through so much Let’s cheer up a little, really a little bit more… … .”
Support from the utmost sincerity.
At the same time, the heavy breathing suddenly stopped.
His shoulders, which had been shaking while he was trying to catch his breath, and his voice, which sounded like weeping, stopped at once.
Finally, as if trying to do everything in my power.
said the doctor who was staring at us.
“Mom. I will do it one more time.”
“… … yes.”
Si-eun barely smiled and responded.
Then, the doctor gave a signal saying, “One, two, three.”
In line with that, Si-eun grabbed the rod again and bit her teeth.
Strong enough to not even make a sound. It’s like writing evil.
There was even a sense of duty on his contorted face.
I also gave strength to my throat and poured out words of encouragement.
In the hope that Si-eun, who is going through such a painful time, will be of some strength.
After a short time passed, the doctor and the nurse began to move in a hurry.
Inside the delivery room, there was a gloomy yet busy atmosphere.
Intuitively, I noticed that things had changed.
Then the nurses said, “Okay, that’s it. Relax!” and shout
Si-eun collapses on the bed as if her pulse is loose.
The doctor’s eyes turned to the clock on the wall.
On the blue cloth that covered Si-eun’s belly… … Finally, a small life is released.
As if to bless this, the doctor’s declaration followed.
“At 8:21 a.m., your daughter gave birth safely.”