80 – Summary (5)
“Yes, I’m awake. “Come in, Lena.”
It looks like work in the office is finally over.
-Squeak…
I can feel the fatigue that cannot be hidden in Lena’s eyes as she opens the door and comes in. Well, she was bound to be tired after working on the management of an unfamiliar territory until the very end. She didn’t mind taking it easy a little.
Thanks to you, I can go to the academy without any problems in the second semester of the academy, but I can’t help but feel sorry.
Get up from the bed she was lying on and hand her a shawl to wear over her shoulders.
We were each wearing only pajamas, and the cold summer wind, which seemed to gradually signal fall, was blowing along with the moonlight outside the window.
“You worked hard. You must have been tired until late at night. “It would have been okay if I put in a little less effort.”
“No. I too am now a vassal of this territory. “Because I don’t want Johan to see me as a knight who neglects his duties.”
It is difficult to find Lena, who smiles brightly at me and looks like the alley leader she used to be. In modern Korea, the image of the crazy female prosecutor that Hanna showed is even more difficult to find.
What is in front of her is a beautiful female knight with hair shining more silver than the moonlight, and the first woman I have encountered in this world.
Me, who has blonde hair and red eyes, and Lena, who has silver hair and blue eyes, which is symmetrical to me.
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She sat down on the bed without saying a word, and I sat next to her.
Time passed in silence for a while.
When the sound of her catching her breath was repeated a few times, Lena slowly reached out her hand towards mine. At first glance, she is so gentle that it doesn’t seem like she is extending her hand towards me.
But when I saw her slightly red cheeks, I was not so stupid as to not know the meaning of this action, so I moved first and grabbed her hand.
Lena flinched slightly and looked at me, then she smiled bitterly.
“For some reason… It’s hard to keep showing my feminine side in front of John. Why? “When I stand in front of John, my mind goes blank and such things become irrelevant.”
“Well, what do you think? “It’s not just a day or two that I’m unusual.”
“hehehehe, that’s right. It wasn’t like that at all in the past… It’s really weird now. “Completely different from other men.”
Her continued words made my hand stop moving for a moment.
I had the body of ‘John’, but I also had the soul of ‘Yohan Lee’.
And Lena is ‘Johan’s’ childhood friend.
Suddenly a thought occurred to me.
Will Lena still act like she does now even if she knows that I have been talking to her with the spirit of ‘Lee Yo-han’ and that I have taken away her body?
If she knew my secret, how would her expression as she looks at me lovingly change?
Perhaps you should despise him and give John back…
“John! John-!!”
“Ah… “
“…Are you okay? My complexion suddenly got a lot worse… “Is it hurting somewhere or something?”
“No. No…. Huh.”
Lena shook me out of my deep thoughts for a moment and brought me back to reality.
A sudden negative thought changed the atmosphere that had been quite peaceful until just a moment ago.
It wasn’t intentional, but it suddenly broke the mood.
‘You idiot… Phew. After all, Lena came here first, and it’s unbecoming of a man.’
I’ve become quite accustomed to a world where the roles of men and women are very different from the world I lived in, but I’m definitely more familiar with modern notions of the roles of men and women. And, no matter how much time passes in the future, that won’t change much.
Even though he became a nobleman in order to embrace Lena, Sharon, Meron, and many more women in the future, he is still acting like this without being able to put his mind together.
The moment I was about to sigh at her own patheticness, Lena hugged me.
“John.”
“…Yes.”
“I know you’re hiding something.”
-Finch!
What do you know?
Is it because my previous behavior was so different from that of ‘John’ that he realized that I was a different person?
Or does he know that I want to get my hands on other women besides Lena?
“…Hide it?”
“Yes. Johan, unlike other men, you like to have many women. “Isn’t that why you became a nobleman?”
I don’t know if it’s unfortunate or fortunate, but it seems like they noticed the latter rather than the former.
I made a promise to her in my heart, and to some extent I hinted at it to them, but this is the first time I’ve said it out loud.
After taking a moment to catch her breath, I tell Lena about my hidden desires.
“…Honestly, that’s right. Unlike other men, I am like that… Because the desires and desires are strong. So I tried to succeed as an engineer in order to get the qualifications I needed. And I want to become more successful in the future. “Not settling.”
This is tantamount to declaring that he wants to meet more women than just Lena, Sharon, and Meron.
If any other man had said something like this, he would have been slapped right away and would have nothing to say. In particular, wasn’t this world a world where women’s status was higher than in modern times?
In this world of gender reversal, there are quite a few cases of women having multiple men, but the cases of men having multiple women are very few and nothing more than legends.
Of course, women have greater psychological reluctance to accept my words.
Lena heard those words,
-Pook…
Without getting angry or slapping,
“That’s right. “That’s why you’ve been hesitating until now.”
“Yes. Because becoming a noble was never easy. So after proving it, I wanted to properly settle our relationship. I did… “I was so busy that it ended up like this.”
“It’s okay. In fact, if I wasn’t so anxious, I would have already fallen asleep by now. “I promised Sharon and Melon the order, but there’s a chance they might lose their order.”
He confirmed my words and held me in his arms.
Lena’s voluminous skin hidden inside her pajamas warmly calms me.
As I spoke, the sound of my heartbeat, which had been anxious, became peaceful and stable again.
“Lena… are you okay? I don’t think I’m speaking normally either. However, I have no intention of letting you have a relationship with another man. Such a selfish guy… “Are you okay?”
“Uhm… Of course, Johan, I don’t feel good thinking about you being in the arms of another woman. “Maybe it’s because I’m a woman, but I definitely have a desire to be exclusive.”
Of course.
Of course, humans have emotions, and among those emotions, there is also a desire to possess one’s lover.
My selfish and one-sided possessiveness is bound to hurt them.
“But you know what, Johan?”
Nevertheless, I wanted to have them.
When I die again someday, I don’t want to leave behind any regrets.
If I ever meet Hanna again, I want to tell her that I lived a life without regrets, so I don’t have to feel sorry or anything like that.
“Rather than John rejecting everyone, I would rather have John accept everyone and accept me too.”
Whether she knows how I feel or not, Lena reassures me with her very kind and warm consideration.
Lena pats my back and continues her story while being held in my arms.
“When John was receiving sword training from his mother, and when he had just entered the Imperial Knight Academy, he didn’t seem particularly interested in women. But at some point, John’s way of looking at us changed.”
You’re talking about when you got the ego sword.
Definitely, my way of thinking is very different from when I have not yet properly accepted reality, and when I have properly faced my past memories and accepted my surroundings as the correct reality.
Perhaps my way of thinking, dreaming of polygamy and a harem, came from my inability to accept this world as a true reality.
Treating them with a narrow-minded way of thinking, like a child with a disease in the second year of middle school, as if they were the main characters of this world… Maybe.
But even though I was like that, Lena affirmed me.
If this is Lena, could she possibly approve of ‘Lee Yo-han’?
Just as I was thinking that and was about to tell another secret,
“Lena. Actually… “
“Shhh.”
Lena extends her finger to her lips and covers her mouth.
“Having too many secrets is bad, but there is also a saying that having one or two secrets is part of a man’s charm. “I think it’s okay if we don’t talk about it now.”
“Are you sure it’s okay? What I was trying to say was… “
It could be the same as betraying you.
As I was about to say that, Lena’s fingertips touched my mouth again, and her fingers pressed firmly, once again putting a lock on my secret.
“It doesn’t matter what it is. Whatever it is, there is no way I will hate John ‘right before my eyes’. Really, anything.”
Lena’s words were firm, but more kind than anything else, and they silenced me.
And the secret story that came up to my throat and then entered me again did not weigh on me as heavy as before.
I don’t know why, but I felt like she shared the weight of my secret. It’s stupid, but that’s what I thought.
I was so thankful for that, I felt like my anxious heart was filled with relief,
“Lena… “
“John… “
-Jjoooook…
Without realizing it, I put out her lips and covered her mouth with hers.
It was the moment when my ambiguous relationship with her was finally resolved.