Request for help-2
-Wow, I had something I wanted to say. I have to tell you now.
I shake my head at the faint voice.
A voice I forgot, but never forgot. There was a moment when I tried to catch my breath by holding on to my weakly stretched body.
Tears filled his face as he groped over his cooling body.
The moment when I forced myself to smile while holding the hand that was reaching out to my face while my heart was pounding with my breathing.
…I had it.
– It’s okay, it’s okay. I can do it, just. please live
After thirty deaths, the fifth again. It’s probably one of the few memories that even remembers the exact order of the rounds.
I laughed with a crying face.
I wanted to hide the fact that I was crying, so I pulled the corners of my mouth tight, but my face was already wet because I couldn’t hold back the tears.
The body was cut for a long time and blood was pouring out, and the mind was blurry, so it seemed that it would fly away soon.
Even so, my gaze was directed only to one woman.
A woman who shouldn’t have died in the first place, who should never have died in my many lives.
Such a woman was holding me and bleeding. A sword was seen embedded in his chest.
He was restless without being able to pull it out, and he smiled a little at me.
I didn’t know why this happened.
I thought everything was screwed up.
I thought that everything was going well and was successfully continuing, but the variable exploded in an unexpected place.
no. It’s not something I didn’t know.
Even though I knew it, it just turned white in my head because of the sudden incident.
The person who thought he would be safer than anyone else was ambushed, so how could he maintain his composure in that situation?
However, to me who had lived thirty times, that was just an excuse.
I could stay calm. If I had lived my life a little harder before that,
If only I had made up my mind to live for myself at least once. He would have been able to deal with the situation.
– This is what I should have said when we first met, but things kept getting twisted and I couldn’t. So… ah.
– You don’t have to speak. You can listen to it later- You just… don’t have to say anything. Just focusing on breathing is enough. That’s it.
-no. If I don’t tell you now, I think I’ll regret it a lot.
I did not let go of hope even though I felt the power slowly being released.
Because she believed that she could live, her death was not due to fate, but because of her belief.
However, isn’t it already twisted fate? I don’t know what you were expecting.
I was weak.
The reason my 20 lives were wasted in madness was probably because I realized my own weakness.
I close my eyes to the still clear voice.
The memory I heard that day, the first time I swore to hold a sword.
I wipe my dry face and let go of the memory with a sigh.
I thought I had abandoned all my lingering feelings, but it seemed that I was still living in my memories.
– I, Robert, you.
On the last day of the 35th, the only time Mirazen died, it was a pale, cloudless night when the full moon was full.
Uncertainty was still there.
Even if I die and return several more times, even if I let go of everything because my mind is twisted again.
-…Can I like it?
Can I completely forget this memory?
The moonlight penetrating through the thin curtains was cool.
The dark room was dyed blue for a while, but I stare at the light that disappears with the shadow again.
I couldn’t even understand why I was awake at this early morning.
The uneasiness that arose suddenly was so sudden that even the remaining drowsiness disappeared after I blinked my eyes for a moment.
I don’t know why this memory suddenly came back.
If it’s because I heard that Miragen is in the Northwest… I don’t think this anxiety is understandable.
Didn’t you hear that there were a few groups of immigrants in the Northwest?
He said it was better to save himself, so I believe he’ll take care of himself, but it’s the same thing that bothers me.
Read at noblemtl.com
Just quietly stuck in the imperial palace. If this was the case, I would rather have told her about the mines after I had been to the north.
That was the only thing I was concerned about. What I just recalled was my old memory.
Something that lingered quite intensely and instantly changed the way I thought about regression.
The death of the thirty-fifth Miragen.
And after that, wasn’t he killed by the fifty-fifth Miragen?
It was madness that ended.
After repeatedly killing himself, when he finally grabbed the sword and reached the peak.
By dying to Mirazen, he regained his sanity.
It was clear that it was a memory that I did not want to recall.
He let out a small sigh and rubbed his eyes, forcibly dispelling the memory.
I was living in the past, but I knew how to dissipate these feelings.
I got up from my seat and grabbed my sword.
It was better to do something at a time like this.
It was better to completely clear my head and somehow relieve the stuffy inside.
If I don’t, I’ll go crazy, so I started walking toward dawn.
Until the sun rises, shouldn’t we move without resting?
#
My whole body was wet with sweat, and the flowing sweat completely soaked the soil around me.
I stare at the soil stained black by the melting snow.
The completely melted snow surrounded me in a circle.
The sun had just risen and it was shining in my sweat, so I brushed my hair and put my sword down.
Since he moved with me at dawn, he must have moved for a few hours.
Since he had already pushed his stamina to the limit, it was easy to stand still, but he couldn’t help it because he had to do this to increase his stamina.
Since using mana for a long time is an important factor, there was a high possibility that he would run out of strength later if he did not increase his stamina like this.
My purpose is not treason.
Since treason is a race against time, it was better to be prepared to finish everything within 24 hours.
If I use magic right now, can I move for an hour?
Even that was limited to simply moving, so it was a gloomy situation in many ways.
That’s what it sounds like right now. I think my physical strength will be resolved in about a year.
The climate and topography of the northern and southern regions were so harsh,
If you use the subjugation of the foreign race as an excuse to move, won’t your stamina grow naturally?
As he drew back his sword and breathed, he felt a presence nearby.
When I turned my head to the stare staring at me, I saw a giant.
“…hello.”
“Do you always train like that?”
“Yes?”
“I was asked if I always train like that. So, um. I’m not interrogating you. Just curious.”
Perhaps thinking that his tone was a little bothersome, Bunta scratched his cheek and asked again cautiously.
Also, no one had a bad heart.
It’s training anyway. Rather than training, it was more like an action to clear my head.
If I didn’t move my body like this to clear my head, it was hard to come to my senses because I was buried in the flood of memories.
After thinking about it for a moment, he nodded his head.
It would have been better to move like this in the future.
The time to increase my lack of stamina was pretty tight.
Then Bunta looked at me as if slightly surprised.
I think he was probably still concerned about losing to me. So you must have come all the way to find me.
“It doesn’t matter if you do it together. Aren’t you the same adjutant now anyway?”
“…is that okay? I thought you’d care about your status because you’re a noble.”
I’ve already left the words, but what is the status, anyway, the north is a very different place from the center.
Unless he was from the imperial family, he was below the grand duke.
Even a high-ranking aristocrat was only a false pretense here, so the fact that I was the eldest son of a ducal family was of little use.
“I already told the Archduke, but here I am just Robert. If it’s the same adjutant, what does status matter?”
“That’s a word I like.”
“If so, I will go. I guess I’ll have to wash it up now. Shouldn’t we prepare for the subjugation?”
Bunta grinned, then came up to me and patted me on the back with a big hand.
It was a habit of doing it whenever there was someone I liked.
Hahaha, Bunta laughed and opened his mouth.
The look he was looking at me was full of goodwill, and he probably liked what he just said.
“I thought I was just a spoiled boy, but he turned out to be a cooler person than I thought. Okay, will we see each other every morning from now on?”
“It always comes out around dawn. Because I’m not the type to sleep a lot.”
“very good!”
I was worried that I might have had a different mind about yesterday’s incident, but it was as expected.
The reaction that a person named Bunta will show is not what I expected.
I was half relieved that this wouldn’t change, but I thought I could put my mind at ease now.
After Bunta fell on me and disappeared into the training ground, I was able to go wash up alone.
I put my head in the running hot water and empty my thoughts like that.
Clearing thoughts was the most important factor in my composure.
It may have been a natural reaction from the body, a habit I had acquired from the moment I repeated regression.
If I had lived with complicated thoughts, the madness would have flared up again at some point.
In fact, my memory of that time was not very clear.
Since it was the time when he took his own life in the first place, there is no need to remember all of it.
The only thing I remember is the one episode where I grabbed the sword.
At that time, I thought that I was fortunate to hold the sword.
If I was still ignorant of the sword, I wouldn’t have the slightest connection to the North.
If you’re looking for a place where you can live most comfortably, it’s in the north.
This place has the fewest bad memories, so sometimes I forgot everything and laughed comfortably.
Shake off the moisture from your body, find a suitable pair of pants, and put them on.
As I was walking down the hallway, wiping my hair with a towel, I suddenly felt a presence in front of me.
When I looked up, there was a woman staring at me. Unlike usual, it was Adele with her hair in a ponytail.
“…what is this?”
“I just washed. I was on my way to my room.”
Thinking there was no problem, he replied calmly, but Adele’s eyes were clearly shaking.
I tilted my head, wondering what the problem was, and immediately remembered that I had nothing on.
Was that the cause of the wandering eyes?
Fortunately, I didn’t neglect to build my body, so I couldn’t find the flab.
Scars all over the body became a problem.
It would look strange if there were burn marks or cut scars made by Yuria on the boy’s body.
After covering it properly with a towel for a while, Adele’s eyes, which had wandered for a while, returned to their proper place.
“greatness.”
Adele, whose tips of ears were slightly red, let out a clearing of her throat.
Then he glanced at me and muttered in a deliberately cool voice.
“I didn’t know you had exhibitionism. Aren’t you cold?”
“It’s okay if you put on magic. And the clothes… I’ll be careful.”
“Never forget that there are women. I am equally ashamed.”
Most of the adjutants aren’t men anyway.
I was a little puzzled by that, but I nodded my head and replied.
As a woman, it is a fact that I may forget if I am with Adele.
However, I was more aware than anyone else.
Although he acts like that on the outside, isn’t he actually a pretty delicate personality?
“You tied your hair up today.”
“I don’t know why you’re talking about that all of a sudden.”
When I asked with a small smile, Adele stared at me.
His eyes were clearly dissatisfied, so it was probably because of my behavior.
The way to ease Adele’s mood was simple.
I’ve been the one to solve this situation for a long time, so I answered her question again.
Insignificantly, as if talking in passing.
“I think you look good together.”
For a moment, Adele’s eyes stopped. It could have been an illusion, but at least I felt that way.
Read at noblemtl.com
Just when I wondered if I didn’t like something in the silence that was still flowing, Adele, who was staring at me, answered naturally.
“…is it? Anyway, when you get dressed, come to my room.”
“All right.”
Adele replied casually and turned her head away with a non-trivial expression.
It was an expected reaction. Even if I praised her like this from before, she always reacted dryly.
As if she had finished talking to me, Adele took her eyes off me and passed me again.
I look at the back that disappears like that.
However, the only thing that was a little different from before was that the steps seemed a little lighter.
Probably, I think the mood has definitely been relieved.