Can you hug me…?-5
Watching someone die is never pleasant.
It hurts my heart to see someone I don’t know die, let alone someone I know.
What if it was the death of someone you’ve been particularly concerned about lately?
Not all of Robert’s memories can be glimpsed.
A fragment of his memory to the last, but whether this is really only a fragment.
At the point of observing Robert’s death more than 20 times, Adrian’s mind was gradually becoming impoverished.
It was a painful death as well.
Not trusted, not trusted, and eventually abandoned and betrayed and died.
He was killed by the one he loved, and he died without being able to protect the one he loved.
It would probably be a lie if I said that I could understand everything.
He wouldn’t even understand a part of it. So is it empty?
Having died dozens of times with a feeling that no one could understand, even the desire to do something was already worn out.
“What am I supposed to do…is there nothing?”
She lived under the name of a saint.
Taking helping and blessing others as a virtue, I have lived only for others.
But doesn’t Robert also fall into that category?
No matter how much he thought about how he could help, he couldn’t come to mind, and Adrian’s eyes were filled with futility.
The one in front of me was Robert, who had fallen dead again.
What was this death like? Adrian’s mouth twisted as he recalled it.
Yuria Taylor, I don’t know what the woman is looking at Robert.
It was clear that it was wrong.
It was the first time I had ever seen a woman born so twisted. The fiancé named Theresia, and Taylor’s head of household.
Isn’t it strange to be undistorted when there are people like that?
Adrian smiled bitterly as he brushed the cheek of the fallen Robert.
His palms still caressed the air, but he just wanted to share a little of his own warmth.
Miragen probably played that role in my life before.
It was already four times that she faced the life of Robert’s lover.
There was a time when he became the lover of the princess and even went right before the wedding.
Maybe if Mirazen hadn’t died, Robert wouldn’t have been happy in that life either.
Having seen him take his own life a few times, his mixed feelings did not go away easily.
As soon as he starts to return, he stabs himself with a knife and deliberately chooses to commit suicide by drinking poison.
Seeing her suffering, she also shed tears.
Adrian, who smoothed out his swollen red eyes, then carefully sat down beside Robert.
“The world isn’t dispersing quickly this time.”
When Robert goes through one death, the world in his memory is scattered like dust, and he faces the next memory.
Looking at the now blurry vision and the hazy front, what I felt was that this memory was the last.
What kind of death will Robert face this time? I was afraid now
I felt resentful of myself for going to look into my memories.
Looking at these things over and over again would just be painful, and now I naturally frowned at the piercing pain digging into my chest.
…However, that doesn’t mean you should run away. It was a memory only he knew.
If it wasn’t for Robert, the only person in the world who could know about this memory would be himself.
I wanted to run away right away, but I wanted to return to the wall tower and jump at Robert.
He endured and faced death. The only person who could understand Robert’s return was himself.
It’s really hard and exhausting, and now I realize that there is only one person who will help him when he is about to collapse at the end of this life.
If he didn’t help, it wouldn’t be strange if he collapsed at any time, so he had to come forward before that empty heart was completely broken.
“…It’s cold.”
The northern wind was cold.
Although he couldn’t feel it all, Robert, who died alone in this place, must have been exposed to this cold.
Sitting on the snowfield, Adrian murmured.
Feeling the chill penetrating through his thin clothes, he looked at Robert, who must have been completely cold now.
Memories slowly disintegrate as the wind blows.
They flew like pieces of burning paper, and eventually Robert began to disappear as well.
It was the first tower I had ever seen near the imperial palace, not on a snowy field. Adrian realized that it was the wall tower he lived in.
However, there is probably one reason for the feeling of incongruity.
If the wall tower is the background, you will have no choice but to see the woman staying at the top of this tower.
Adrian took a step towards the memory.
“Sir Berod, I heard someone wanted to meet me?”
And, I saw Saint Adrian.
#
It was the first time that he had appeared in Robert’s memory.
What kind of person will he remain in Robert’s memory?
Was it a lover like Miragen, or a colleague like the Grand Duke?
I laughed inside because I thought it would be awkward if Robert was a paladin, but I slowly faced my memories out of concern.
Perhaps Robert was trying to find himself.
I don’t know what to do, but maybe the church needed some help.
If it was Robert’s position, he would surely have met him, so doubt quickly spread across Adrian’s face as he gazed at his memories.
Robert had visited him many times.
Even if days pass, even if years pass, even if months pass. However, he did not meet Robert.
Curious about the reason, the moment he headed inside the Wall Tower, Adrian’s complexion turned pale when he heard what he was saying.
-Should I… meet him?
The look on his face as he hesitated to answer was full of questions.
I already knew that the rumors about Robert Taylor were bad.
But how can you say that when you’ve never even met face to face?
Even if he wanted to blame it, it was his own words.
It was strange. Even if it’s the first time I’ve seen it, there’s no way I could say that myself.
Who the hell did you listen to and answer that way?
That doubt was cleared in the words that followed.
Maybe it was the answer that I was already thinking about in a corner of my heart.
-His Highness the Crown Prince said that the other day. It’s better to avoid people with bad rumors, and they say there are people trying to take my life these days…
Berod also affirmed that statement.
He knew better that Robert was not like that.
However, believing the prince’s words, she was so suspicious of people she had never met.
Ha, Adrian let out a laugh and sat down.
It was none other than what he said.
No matter what excuse you make, no matter how different the reasons are. In the end, he abandoned Robert.
The reason why Robert found himself was to make the first move before the crown prince tried to kill him.
Since the crown prince was always deeply involved in Robert’s death, he might have learned something from the repeated deaths.
…It was placed by himself. He held out his outstretched hand for help.
Read at noblemtl.com
Just because it could be dangerous. Adrian wiped his face and let out a hard breath.
I was disgusted with what I had done and I couldn’t stand it. What does a saint mean?
Even though she was given the name of a saint by the power of a god, she threw away a person who needed help like that.
“haha…”
Robert died just like that.
He hoped for help from the saintess, but died in vain without getting help.
Isn’t it your own fault?
I grabbed the rosario in my hand, but it soon shattered and fragments were embedded in my palm.
I thought that even the sharp pain didn’t matter.
It would be nothing compared to the pain Robert must have suffered in that life.
Tok, tok.
Blood trickled from his palms and ran down to the floor.
The encounter with the memory was over, but the memory of the last time he saw it was still vivid in Adrian.
“…I, I.”
If he had listened to Robert’s words even once, then he might not have died.
It’s already too much life.
Robert didn’t say anything about him, but it wouldn’t be strange if he blamed himself.
Even though the blood flowed, the pain was not too severe.
All she had to do was get up from her seat and stumble forward, leaving the broken rosario intact.
I have seen many deaths. Sometimes they were angry together, sometimes they cried together and watched the death.
She resented the fact that she couldn’t help him, but that she was even directly involved in his death.
Isn’t the sympathy he has really funny?
Unlike when he came here, Adrian’s steps were just heavy.
He walks staggeringly with legs that have no strength. The front was no longer visible.
The sight that I had regained for a while while reading my memories had now disappeared, showing me only darkness.
“Sorry. I… I’m sorry.”
That apology probably couldn’t have been made to himself.
I can’t honestly tell you that I saw Robert’s memories.
I just wanted to comfort you.
About his loneliness, about his misery. I just wanted to let you know that I’m not alone anymore.
Tears flow down your cheeks.
He knew better than anyone else that the apologies he had muttered over and over were meaningless.
He knew very well that he could no longer apologize for it.
Robert, who should have apologized, is dead, so what is the point of apologizing to Robert now?
Already, it’s too late.
The wind blowing was still cold.
Even more so than the wind he faced in that snowy field, and this wind would reach Robert as well.
I couldn’t even imagine the feeling he was feeling.
How cold is the wind that flows inside that empty space. So Adrian walked.
forward…again forward.
Toward the wall tower where Robert would be alone.
#
I looked at the window for a moment at the creaking sound, and I saw the window through which the wind came in.
It was time for everyone to go to sleep by now, but I didn’t realize it was too late as I was reading the material Arwen had sent me.
The only light remaining in this room was a candle shining alone, and I was lost in thought for a while, looking at the faint moonlight shining through the newly opened window.
“I couldn’t even come inside before.”
I tried several times, but each time I was blocked for various reasons and never got inside.
But now, to come inside like this and sleep. Isn’t it amazing what a relationship is?
Had I met Adrian at that time, would I have already completed the regression?
It’s not that I don’t imagine such a family, but it was after I had relieved some of my past work.
Now…well, I think it couldn’t be helped.
It would have been better to find a way out in something other than the church.
Because I didn’t act a little stupid.
The reason why those thoughts were scattered was because of the signs that came from the hallway.
When I approached, wondering if there was anyone to move at this time, the door opened and a familiar face came into view.
“Robert, would it be all right for a moment?”
“…Adrian, eyes?”
Did I even cry until now? He hurriedly reached out his hand, looking at his swollen red eyes.
Even when we parted in the evening, nothing strange happened, but what the hell happened at night?
Carefully stroke your cheeks.
I asked what had happened, but Adrian just shook his head and responded in silence.
“It is cold. Eat inside. What happened, I was surprised.”
“I have something I want to say. There is something I want to ask of you.”
Adrian stopped in front of the door and pursed his lips.
Her crying voice made me feel like she would burst into tears any minute, so I looked at her for a moment.
I don’t know what happened. However, it was clear that she was disturbed.
Do I need consolation? After hesitating for a moment, he gently opened his mouth to Adrian.
“If you ask, I will do as much as you like.”
“…would you like a hug?”
My mouth freezes at the words I heard in an instant.
I don’t know what to say, I don’t know what he meant by that.
Adrian, who was looking at me like that, continued with a small smile.
“The wind is cold. More today than yesterday.”
Warak-
Adrian’s hand, which was still in my arms, hugged my waist.
I buried my head in my chest and sobbed as it was, for a moment my body froze coldly.
A warm feeling came over me.
The tears falling from my chest, and the hands gradually hugging my waist.
“…Sorry. really.”
I don’t know why you’re apologizing.
I didn’t know why she sobbed and hugged me, or why she came to me at dawn.
Still, it wouldn’t be polite to ask such a thing in a situation like this. It would be best to just comfort him now.
The hand, which did not find a place for a moment, gently hugged Adrian’s back.
As if comforting him by patting him and saying it’s okay.
“I don’t know what you’re apologizing for, but Adrian has nothing to apologize for.”
Even if it’s from a previous life.
I’ve never once resented a woman named Adrian.
He gently hugs the silently weeping woman.
Feeling the body heat coming through, the chill of the winter wind was only dissipated by the warmth.
“So, you don’t have to apologize.”
Adrian’s warmth was warm.
Enough to forget that the current season is winter for a while.
If it was sincere that she tried to hold her in the cold, it would be clear that her feelings were conveyed.
:O