126 – Episode 126 Nightmare. (12)
“Heaven oppa!”
I was sleeping when my flying sister hit me.
“Ugh…!”
I had some working tips, and I had some stamina, but it seemed that it was not enough to withstand the flying tackles of the kids who were getting bigger day by day.
However, cruelly, the children saw it and, as if interested, started copying it together.
The Flying Brothers tackled regardless of gender.
“Guys…I’m taking a break in two weeks, so look after me…I feel like I’m really going to die.”
…Thinking about it, it’s really round.
From nob le mt l dot com
Does this make sense? If people lived like me, wouldn’t they have to grow up to be fucking violent and neurotic?
How does it get rounder over time?
“I drew the sky yesterday!”
“Oh, sure. Do you look alike?”
Specifically, the part where something presumed to be the eyes and hair is black is similar.
“But there are no red crayons, so the inside of the mouth is black…”
…Ah, it must have been a mouth. I’m glad I didn’t pretend to know.
If I was wrong, I’d be fucking pissed.
“The one next to me is me! I’m going to marry you later!?”
“Uh…!? Crossing the line!? Because Haneul hyung is going to marry me!?”
“You idiot! Men cannot marry each other…!”
“That’s how it is in my country, you idiot!”
…I think it’s a bit sensitive.
Well, it doesn’t matter. That’s what kids say
“Well, I think maybe in the next five years, you guys will tell me not to come near me?”
“…Is this over the line too? Our hearts look light!?”
“Yeah, right! It looks light!”
When I laughed exaggeratedly, I got angry, saying that they weren’t kids. It’s sad that you already have to feel the feelings of a father raising a child.
The atmosphere at the orphanage brightens as the violent director suddenly changes and there is a person called me to replace Miss Cathy.
At least, I was much better than when I was the age of these guys.
If you don’t know these graces and grow up a little, you’ll tickle me.
“You little ones don’t grow up. Just stay as a baby!”
I was suddenly a bit sad, so when I tried to tickle him as a joke, the kids screamed.
Well, good. It was not good to rest comfortably today. Now that I was awake, I thought it would be better to stop rebelling and wash up.
“Where are you going?”
“I will wash and play, I will wash, and I am a person who needs to wash.”
“Hmm? Now?”
“Why? Is anyone inside?”
My little boys laughed evilly.
“No? No?”
“…Did you break the hot water system while playing again? If you speak honestly, I will forgive you.”
“No, no!”
…Then what the fuck.
I could walk into the bathroom without much thought and notice what the little ones were thinking.
There was already a guy taking a shower inside.
I know who you are.
But what can I say? Then stop going in.
I thought I’d wait until the bath was over, so I enjoyed my morning lightly, and while I was humming along while drinking coffee, the guy who came out with a towel wrapped around me started talking nonsense.
“Oh, why didn’t you come in! I should at least steal a peek!”
“…Turned?”
“What, why? What. Didn’t we wash together when we were young?”
“You are 17 now. Turned?”
“…Tsk, I like coffee too.”
“Yes, I am riding. Put on some clothes and come~”
That’s why I’ve been playing nonsense lately.
How unmarried virgins do that. She went to a co-educational school, and it seems she learned a strange culture.
“Ah, so. I wanted to try it once because it was something to write in a novel, and when you come in, I scream!? What are you doing! Don’t you know that throwing things while doing it?”
“Thanks to you, I read the novels and web novels and read them, but I don’t think there are any writers who really want to try it like you. It’s shit.”
“It’s our company, how is it? I wouldn’t do this if I had other kids besides you.”
“Nuye, you must be.”
“Uh, what is that attitude? Have you been sparring for a long time?”
“I’m covering it. Do you think you can still beat me? Can’t you see that he was trained through labor?”
“…Still a fucking anchovy, you think I can win?”
“Okay, follow me and you are behind me.”
By the time summer approached when I was 17, he and I were still friends.
He wrote while he was in school, and he would show me prototypes from time to time.
I worked with as little break time as possible, and when I wasn’t working, I spent time with my kids.
I am also a human being, so there were times when I really wanted to take a break and felt like I was going to get annoyed, but since that part had already been strangely ruined, I would just say I was busy with work and relax in a sauna until I felt better.
After that, even though it was annoying, I wanted to see the kids and also read the web novel.
That routine was broken in the summer when we were 17 years old, not long after he went on his first vacation.
His family came to visit.
Looks like he already knew.
This is what I meant when I asked if they were friends no matter what happened that day.
That’s right. Even if they are orphans, there are many different types.
Maybe not abandoned like me.
If something is lost rather than discarded, it can be found through a missing person report or genetic information registration.
But I felt betrayed by something insignificant.
‘I’m sorry to have you in a place like this.’ ‘It’s okay now. Let’s go home with us.’
Ah, that’s right.
I must have been mistaken.
That you’re different from the guys you barely met after graduating from middle school, that you’re just like me, that we can be friends together no matter how much time passes.
I was leaning on you, thinking that you would never leave my side and stay with me all the time.
But you weren’t like me either.
To your family, this place that has become infinitely precious to me is just ‘a place like this.’
What kind of expression did he make?
Ah, yes. That’s right. With a look that is all too familiar to me. With an expression that could be called my face now.
You celebrated by imitating laughter.
“… Hey, you.”
“Why? If the family came to visit, that’s good. Really congratulations If you’re going to be a writer, you can’t make much money until you’re famous, right? It will be fine now.”
“Hey, are you our friend?”
“I’m asking something obvious.”
Still, we were friends. Friends can’t all be the same. You can’t be in the same place.
It made me sadder when I understood that.
Because we’re still friends, but I know very well that in the future we won’t be.
You know as well as I do.
How non-orphans view orphans.
Thank you in words. Say hello to giving up your studies and supporting your daughter.
But there was unmistakable disgust in that look.
It’s a terribly familiar gaze. It was the gaze that you and I got tired of from childhood.
You will soon become the one who receives attention and the one who sends it.
I bet you don’t like an orphan hanging out with your precious daughter. I understand. Maybe when he gets used to it, he’ll drive in a nail, telling him not to visit this place.
But you know what? Actually I think that’s good too.
They can do more for you than for me.
More than middle school orphans doing chores, their parents would be better off.
For me and for you.
“Hey, if you want to get used to it, go out to dinner with your family. You will live over there from now on.”
“No, hey…That’s what you mean.”
“What isn’t it? Everything he says is right.”
“Yes, I understand the suddenness and embarrassment, but what good is it to be in a place like this?”
Will you please shut up? It’s been a while since I felt like a beggar.
I thought I’d gotten used to losing it now, but I’m shaking endlessly as if only one thing would disappear.
Your expression looks like it’s about to collapse. The last time I got used to it, the mask that I mistook for my own skin started to crack very easily.
That’s why I couldn’t look at you.
There is more money than I thought in my bank account that I have saved without anyone knowing.
I was planning to build more in the future.
So that I can live with you when I am old enough to leave the orphanage.
To support you until the future comes when you write and become a famous writer.
I don’t have a dream, so wouldn’t it be okay to share your dream with you?
I thought so, because we are friends. Huh?
But you won’t need it anymore.
This kind of petty money.
The goal of the idiot kid is easily destroyed.
…So don’t look at me with that face.
It’s not the fault of either side. Don’t be sorry, don’t feel betrayed.
Because if I don’t, I think I’ll collapse.
*
Not long after, he left the orphanage.
It’s strange that you’re not an orphan.
Since he left, I thought he would break down with a hole in his chest, but I was finer than I thought.
A grain of rice is not like a grain of sand, and even though the goal has disappeared, it is not difficult to work.
I was still able to laugh in front of the kids, and I had the energy to answer ferociously when the director asked if I was okay.
Nothing has changed.
Just occasionally.
Only occasionally.
When I look at your empty room and think about where this bastard went, or when I look back because I think she will be by my side, of course, when you’re not there.
I couldn’t feel it, except that the futility was a little unpleasant.
Nothing has changed.
As time passed, I gradually got used to that futility.
There was no need to desperately save money, so I reduced my part-time job hours.
My health returned after a good night’s sleep.
Even so, I couldn’t stop foolishly saving money little by little.
I thought I’d rather use it all out, but when I tried to use it, my hand wouldn’t move.
“Hey!”
You showed up about a month after I spent those days.
“… Huh?”
Is it hallucination?
“Sorry, I couldn’t come because you asked me how to focus on my family for a while. You haven’t forgotten me, have you?”
Can you forget? It’s only one month.
“Who are you?”
“Wow, a bastard comes out like this …? Did you really forget me? Do you want to open a dark history battle?”
Please don’t fuck. Because I feel like crying right now
“To be honest, it still came out secretly, but anyway, it’s nice to see your face after a long time.”
“Did you really not forget me? The color has changed.”
“Oh, don’t be fooled. Really. Because it’s still awkward.”
“…Will get better with time.”
“If you feel betrayed by me, tell me honestly.”
“Not surprisingly.”
Why do I feel betrayed by you?
For coming back like this and seeing your face, I feel like crying, but how can I feel betrayed by you?
“This is my smartphone number.”
“…Smartphone?”
“Even if it’s cheap, guess what. It’s not like we’re parting forever. We can still see you man. If it’s not enough, I’ll add it…”
“I have the money to buy a smartphone. I didn’t make it because I knew it wouldn’t be necessary.”
It’s a lie. I didn’t make it because I thought it was a waste.
I couldn’t afford to buy them all for my kids, so I didn’t make them.
Still, is this enough?
Huh?
“Yes, call me as soon as you buy it. In fact, I still want to go inside…”
“Today must be difficult. Your parents will notice, so just go and don’t get caught.”
“…Is it okay if I come again?”
“…Why are you pretending to be weak again? So, do you need my permission to come here?”
What is this really?
Speaking a few words.
You still think of me as a friend.
It’s too embarrassing to feel like crying.
“Thank you.”
What are you thankful for?
I should thank you.
I’m afraid you’ll treat me as ‘the past you want to forget’.
How scared I was that you, when we met again, would look at me as an “Orphan.”
For now, this is enough.
Even with this strange distance, I felt like I could endure as long as there was the fact that we were still friends.
*
As time passed and got older, you couldn’t overcome your parents’ back and became a college student.
“Heaven…! Please! Please don’t stop working…! Shall I raise the table? Shall I give you a raise? No, in the worst case, please don’t just go to the convenience store in front of us!”
“Are we going all the way? Sky! You don’t have to make coffee, so just sit down…! I was wrong! I’ll give you an hourly wage rate!?”
…What are these people like?
In the past, when I saw myself, I was anxious because I couldn’t pamper myself even a little bit, but now that I’m an adult, I tidied up my hair and started working out, and the attitude towards me has changed.
Somehow, the cafe suddenly went well, and the convenience store was crowded with customers, so I tried to quit, so I hung on like that.
…Suddenly people have changed?
And even the guy I hadn’t seen in a long time managed to stop him from running amok, asking me who gave me permission to cut my hair.
“You! Buy clothes with my permission! I’ve been living for years, but this isn’t it…! Ah. Seed!”
“…I cut it because I was afraid you would be embarrassed when you were hanging out with me. Why are you fucking?”
Your appearance can be solved with just one word. I just laughed out loud because it was funny.
“Don’t laugh!”
“Ahahahaha!!!”
It really made me laugh.