128 – Chapter 128 Nightmare. (14)
Regret has always been a very miserable feeling.
I wonder if I could have done better or if there was another way.
It is a family that no longer has meaning when you think about it, and in that case it is right to think about the future rather than the past possibility.
As always, reason said that, but emotions couldn’t possibly do that.
No, until now, I tried to live like that somehow pretending nothing was wrong, but would it be more accurate to say that it will be difficult this time around?
For the first time in a life full of failures, it was not easy to control my emotions as usual because the only thing I hoped for in a life I had lost so much had completely collapsed.
I didn’t intend to hurt you, but maybe it’s because I hurt you, and I keep thinking about whether there might be another future.
The most beggarly thing is that if you ask someone about this, there is a high probability that they will answer something like, “It was just that my friend gave up on his dream.” “I don’t think you did anything wrong.”
I don’t want to hear that answer.
I kept having bad thoughts, probably because of my depressed feelings.
Even if I send a text or call, there is no answer.
I look at the guy’s novel, maybe it came up today even though he was moving mechanically and silently doing what he had to do.
The last episode.
How many times have I re-read the familiar scene that ended with Lilac screaming.
Am I the only one waiting for the next episode of a novel that has only 3 views?
I guess so. It’s still a really boring novel.
It’s a precious article to me, but it’s just one of the many oblivion that is not like that to someone else.
I lived such a hectic life.
Human beings are animals of adaptation, and I got used to not being able to contact him and novels not being uploaded anymore.
…I was tired of novels with a lot of strangely violent protagonists, so I was blocked from saying kibae in the comment window, and I lived like that, feeling disgusted at the fact that I took out my anger for nothing.
Really by accident.
When I ran into you on the street.
When I ran like a madman to catch you running away.
I shouldn’t have done that.
“…Hey, how are you?”
“Uh, yes. What. I’m fine.”
At first glance, a cheap pocha might seem a bit inappropriate as a place to talk about this, but it was just right.
Guests who were drunk around us were not interested in our stories, and loud music had a magical power that made it possible to bring up even heavy stories.
If you drank a container potion containing alcohol, it could be considered perfect as a preparation to bring up the story.
“Are you not writing now?”
However, the courage potion called soju has a confusion effect as a side effect, so I was speechless.
Thanks to that, the guy who had been drinking soju spewed soju right in my face.
“…Sorry.”
“No, I am sorry.”
“…No, aside from drinking, I’m sorry I avoided you. I’m sorry that I cried because of my lack of qualifications. I’m sorry for bluffing with your money.”
The guy who said that was laughing.
It was very unpleasant and I didn’t like it.
I would rather be angry like before, insist that I can still do it, and scream that I will write a better article.
That half-hearted smile, neither cheerful nor angry, made me want to shout out to him not to make such a face, as if he had given up on everything.
“Actually, I think that was bigger than the feeling of betrayal. It’s not anyone else, and I didn’t want to be pitied by you.”
“It’s not pity.”
“Yes, I know now. Considering your personality, it was probably cheering.”
No, it’s not just cheering.
“Still. Still, you can’t do that. So let’s stop now No, he’s already stopped serializing, but he stopped and there’s nothing. It’s already over.”
It’s over. You say that your dream and mine that I wished for it to come true are all over.
This is regret.
It’s something even more soggy and unpleasant that came after regret.
“Can’t you try again?”
Things I couldn’t say that day.
“…What?”
“Again, it doesn’t have to be this time, so again. Of course, I want to do the Academy’s Holy Swordsman again, but if you don’t think you can do it, can’t you try another project again?”
“What are you talking about all of a sudden? What should I do?”
…In the worst case, that’s good too, but I know that’s not the right answer.
“Let me help you. I will continue to support you until you succeed. And the money raised is still there. I will continue to support you. So you can focus only on the writing. I won’t care what other humans say. So… come with me.”
I should have said this sooner.
From nob le mt l dot com
Don’t give up on your own, don’t let go on your own, set limits on your own, and don’t make excuses for his happiness.
It was not something to be frightened and run away on its own, but at least it should have bumped into it even if it broke.
For a moment, the guy’s face turned red and he looked surprised, but that was only for a moment.
Soon he laughed.
“Sorry.”
It was a face I didn’t like.
“I can’t use it anymore.”
At the very least, if he had said that on the day his parents took him away, wouldn’t he have had such foolish regrets?
“I don’t know what I wanted to write, and I don’t know how to write it, but what am I going to write?”
From nob le mt l dot com
Don’t laugh like that.
“And are you going to say that to your friend? You knew what I was confessing to.”
It’s already over.
-…Go…
My head hurts.
“Anyway, let’s have some more. It’s been a while, but you don’t know when we’ll see each other again.”
In the end, after foolishly drinking like that, we left the store drunk.
If you think about it, it was a life that could only be lost.
And it was also a life full of regrets.
I didn’t think I was that stupid, but maybe I just got a cold sore.
When her mother’s hands were trembling, she had to cling to them crying and begging not to throw them away.
I should have asked the police to find my parents.
When I first came to the orphanage, I shouldn’t have insisted that I wasn’t an orphan.
The day I first met you, I should have honestly said I would read the story.
She said she didn’t want to be separated from Miss Cathy the day before she died, and she should have held on a little more.
When the director asked if she would go to high school, she should have said that she actually wanted to go.
When I became an adult and began to be able to afford myself little by little, I should have found what I wanted to do on my own rather than relying on you.
In that case, I wouldn’t have projected onto you what I had given up on my own and forced you to carry it.
And it still is.
I should have said I’m sorry and spread the distance and supported you by my side as you stumbled drunk.
Kkik────!!!!
An unpleasant noise scratching the ears.
From nob le mt l dot com
Derailed truck.
Blowing horn.
Flashing emergency lights and someone screaming.
Even you who stumbled and fell when you were drunk.
I was dumbfounded by the death that ran towards you as if it was mocking me this time.
Hey, this isn’t it.
“Fuck.”
This isn’t real.
“Open fire…!”
It ran.
I jumped instinctively.
I know it can’t be saved, but there are no miracles, but I am an empty human who has never caught anything.
-Only…..Go…
It’s too far.
Can’t be hit instead.
I can’t reach it.
A scream erupted from his throat, like a mixture of metal sounds and animal cries.
The fact that I lost it again made me doubt that I had done something wrong to God in my previous life.
He who was an atheist turned into a theist in an instant.
If there is no god, you have to admit that all this damn thing is a joke.
-Only… Of… Is… Per…
It’s too unfair to think that everything that has happened to me so far is a coincidence, not someone’s will.
You’ve done enough. You didn’t even resent it. You didn’t even ask for it back.
I just wanted you not to take away the last thing left. Is that my greed?
A few seconds before you die.
For the first time, I cursed the world.
I already know that even if I pray until my hands wear out, it won’t come true.
That’s why I cursed it.
And you curse so earnestly.
-The Master of Mankai proposes a deal to you.
The world stopped, and for the first time something like a god appeared before me.
-I propose to give the writer a chance to live.
The stopped world.
There were no options.
-The world you gave birth to is still standing still. If you are prepared to see the end of that world, say yes.
“The world we gave birth to?”
-It’s… No, it’s kind of annoying to say that. Nice to meet. Long time no see
…I don’t have any transcendental acquaintances?
-Don’t you know this? There was only one reader left in the novel besides you.
…There was something surprisingly caught up in the world.
The last episode of the novel had only 3 views. One was a guy, one was me, and the last one seemed to be a god.
-Enter the world of the Holy Swordsman of the Academy and see the end. Then don’t save this guy right now. Ah, but it doesn’t mean that you’ll be saved by just finishing it casually. I have to show the story at a level I can understand.
“I’ll do it.”
-Oh, hot? Can you do it It’s nice that I can see the story that stopped, but you know what kind of world that novel is, right?
“I will. Why does the owner of the universe have such a long tongue?”
-It’s good, the way I think about which character I’ll like and start acting right away. I like it. For a little broken guy like you, there’s a world that suits you better than this boring world.
Smoke. Maybe. But I mean, I’m ready to do anything to save him.
– I hope you like the new world. It is a world prepared for you. Please try your best. Ha-neul, no, from now on, I should call her ‘Kang So-hyun,’ right?
The view is reversed.
The guy who had fallen and was dying was looking at me from afar with a face of despair.
And then I heard an unpleasant noise scratching my ears from one floor closer.
“No…!!!”
Wow, fuck. It’s a truck The day will come when you will live through this and experience it for real.
Still, I guess God wasn’t such a bad bastard that I would curse at him.
Looking at the miracle at the end.
Tung.
Kikkik.
Puck.
Steel puck.
The body bent at a strange angle collided in several places, and consciousness was blurred.
It was a bit disappointing that the last thing I saw was that guy’s crying face.
I’d rather see your smiling face again.
*
What the fuck.
“Aub.”
-Congratulations! You have succeeded in being possessed by the frozen world of fiction! If you don’t want to see your body, which is still weakly alive, die, bring some form of ending to this world.
Reward: Your Survival, the Writer’s Salvation.
Failure Penalty: You die.
No, that’s fine.
All good.
But why the fuck?
“Ahh…!!!”
I was possessed as a child, so what am I supposed to do?
-The character you possess is Kang So-hyun. Possessing at the prologue point of view would be too hard, so be thankful that you possessed it at the past point of time. Human!
…A character who dies.
Thank you very much. It’s this kid
…Ah, I remembered.
The last kiss I had with this bastard.
King of Mangye: No, the fucking main character sucks.
ㄴLong-legged man: If you twist it, you use it.
ㄴ King of Mangye: Even if you were the main character, it would be more fun than this.
ㄴ Long-legged man: Why are you giving a shit to a writer who works hard?
ㄴ King of Mangye: hahahahaha I guess it’s okay to use it like a dick.
Is it a forced shield?
Sure. It was me, not you.
If I knew you were a goddamn god, I wouldn’t have said that, you crazy bastard.
So…
-No. Stop watching
*
And the pain that squeezed my heart forced me to come to my senses.
Thank you for taking me out of my memory and devouring me, but to be honest, I wasn’t very happy.
“Hey, wait a minute. We still have to see more.”
The memory after he stopped serializing the novel was clearly part of me.
If you look a little further, you’ll find out things I’ve forgotten about.
However, the grip that gripped my heart began to squeeze my heart hard, probably not allowing me to see the rest of my memories no matter how much I begged for it.
No, he probably didn’t intend to show this memory in the first place.
It’s just that the Succubus Queen’s powers didn’t block some of the memories that crossed over to Noise.
Still, I need to see more.
Thanks to seeing that memory, now I’m just beginning to be sure what the memory beyond the noise is.
“…!?”
But my heart hurts so much.
“…Okay, that’s how it comes out.”
Then I have an idea.
“Hey, then help me get out of here. Can you do that?”
As if he thought I had given up, he willingly started destroying the world, and he was able to get out fairly smoothly, perhaps after absorbing most of the Succubus Queen’s power.
The authority that had wrapped around me like a black egg shattered, and the first thing I noticed was Lilac wielding a holy sword, on the verge of becoming Mother-In-Law’s Slayer.
Not yet.
I had no intention of seeing Lilac become my mother-in-law’s slayer, and it was impossible to find someone who would be my sleep therapist.