26. How can Koreans not recognize me?
I’ve only been in Korea for a year.
Of course, I talked to my parents a lot.
It’s a 13-hour flight, but I’ve flown a few times before, so I’m going to enjoy it in moderation.
I’m flying first class.
First class on the Incheon to LA route is more than ten times the price of economy.
In a medium-sized company, it’s not accessible unless you’re the owner or president, and even in a large company, you usually have to be at least a vice president to get a first class ticket.
It’s a sign of success.
So unless you’re a tycoon or the son of a very wealthy family, it’s not for young people, so I was one of the few first class passengers, and the only young person was the guy in the seat behind me.
He probably didn’t win the American Lotto like I did, so is he from a rich family?
I don’t care, it’s none of my business.
Surely other people don’t look at me and think this?
A smirk crossed my face.
However, my carefree “enjoying first class” didn’t last long.
Because of the young man who was the only other first-class passenger.
As the plane took off from LAX and was fully on the Arctic route, his seizure began.
“Dude, can’t you hear me, I want another drink?”
Ai, loud.
You smelled like alcohol from the moment you walked by me, and then you kept asking for a straight shot, and then you drank it, and then you became a dog.
But what’s a dog’s sin?
Should I call him a dog?
“Mr. Managing Director, you’ve been drinking too much, please stop.”
I felt sorry for the stewardess, a female flight attendant in today’s parlance, who smiled at such a dog and tried to appease him by calling him by his title.
Stewardess.
It was such an enviable job when I was younger, but when I got older and started flying, I realized it wasn’t.
It’s a day and night job with an ever-changing schedule, dealing with weird passengers, smiling and laughing, and if you’re unlucky, getting your ass handed to you by an asshole.
I could see why it was so hard to get in and why the turnover rate was so high.
Flight attendants are also emotional workers.
“Hey, ShiX, if you want something, give it to me!”
“Mr. Managing Director, we can’t serve you any more alcohol due to regulations, and please don’t swear.”
“Damn it, these things! Yay—.”
hahahaha, I don’t know why I even bothered to get on the same plane with that asshole.
His f*cking glare intensified and his voice got higher and higher until it was almost painful to hear.
The flight attendants were trying to calm him down, starting with the office manager, but this asshole had a lot of stamina, so he just kept ranting and raving tirelessly.
When he kicked the back of my seat so hard that the impact hit me, I jumped up and looked behind me and made eye contact with him.
He looked sober, his face didn’t show any signs of alcohol, but his eyes told the story.
His eyes were glazed over and he was already out of his mind.
No matter how I get involved with a drunken, dog-like human, I’ll only end up losing.
Unless we meet in the wilderness somewhere.
I quickly turned my head away, thinking it would be too much trouble to argue, but it was too late.
It was right there in the feedback.
“What? What are you looking at, asshole?”
Ha ha. Hang in there.
You don’t avoid poop because it’s dirty, you avoid it because it’s scary.
That sh*t is scary, especially in a country like ours where the laws are so f*cked up that self-defense is extremely narrow.
However, this scary piece of sh*t had found a new target and kept coming at me.
Thump! Thump!
Kicking me in the back.
“You little sh*t, my words don’t make sense!”
“…”
Aah! This is crazy.
What kind of behavior is this at a table worth over 10 million won?
From nob le mt l. co m
Just as the argument was about to escalate to me, the senior flight attendant, who introduced herself as the office manager, apologized.
“Mr. CEO, I’m sorry. Please be patient.”
“hahahaha, what can I do, what is this?”
“I’m sorry.”
The director repeatedly bowed and apologized.
But this must have pissed him off again.
“What are you, a representative? What kind of representative are you, anyway? I heard that dogs and cows have representatives these days.”
“…”
I’ve flown first class a few times, and I’ve heard that business class and first class passengers are briefed beforehand to identify themselves and call customers by their titles or positions.
First class is especially strict, according to a flight attendant I met on my last trip to the US.
If they call you the wrong name and you’re an asshole, they’ll complain.
That’s why I booked this flight as a representative, but I had no idea it would turn out this way.
Anyway, what about you?
At your age, what are you doing with the title of managing director?
Ugh, let’s not deal with her.
Scary sh*t, Evie!
But my resolve lasted less than five seconds.
Bam!
A jarring impact, followed by a light blow to the back of my head.
What the hell? Did I get hit?
This steel chef hit me in the back of the head?
“Holy c—.”
“I’m sorry, sir!”
“No this isn’t right, what are you doing, don’t you have aviation laws or some kind of security law?”
“Yes, there is. There is an aviation security law—.”
“Then what are you doing? Subdue him! He hit me!”
“I’ll get more people to subdue you, just a little more—.”
“That’s the last one. If you keep this up, I’m going to have to.”
“Thank you.”
For the first time in my life, I decided to put up with being hit first because I didn’t want to see the boss continue to cower.
“If you can’t take it, are you an asshole? Do you have no sense?”
“…”
Where’s the sense in that?
Eventually, a slightly older male flight attendant joined in.
Apparently, he’s an airline mechanic.
I didn’t know mechanics flew airplanes.
However, because of his age, and probably because he was worried about being sued later, he wasn’t very proactive.
Several female flight attendants joined in and tried to subdue him, but it wasn’t working.
“Get off me, you assholes! Where do you get your revenue from? Where do you get your revenue from?”
“…”
Ha! Really, why the f*ck are you worrying about airline revenue?
I look around and realize that the other passengers are also getting annoyed.
In particular, the middle-aged white man in the seat next to me was about to jump up and punch me if I didn’t leave him alone.
“f*ck you, Mr. XX! Let go! I’m killing you!”
Pow!
The kick caught the youngest crew member in the stomach.
“Thwack!”
No, that asshole?
“Get off me! Pfft! Pfft! Pfft!”
The middle-aged man, an airline mechanic, received a baptism of spit in the face.
On top of that, the other flight attendant is carrying a taser, and it’s not even loaded.
Now I’m ready to die.
“Sir!”
I called to the director, who was sweating profusely.
“Yes, sir?”
“I thought you were supposed to seek the cooperation of passengers as needed when aircraft security is at risk?”
“What? That’s correct, but—.”
“Well, believe it or not, I’m trained in counterterrorism.”
“What? Counterterrorism training?”
I could tell he was wondering why someone with counterterrorism training was flying first class, but he looked at my stick and seemed to agree.
“Just say one word, and I’ll take care of it in 10 seconds.”
“Say what?”
“I’m asking for your cooperation under the law! Just say the word and you’ll be quiet.”
“Excuse me—.”
The head of the office seemed to pause for a moment, as this was unprecedented, and then looked at the bully who had been acting up, and then nodded.
“I apologize, Mr. President. I’d appreciate your assistance in subduing that passenger.”
“Understood.”
I walked right up to him.
A counterterrorism drill?
What the hell did he need that for?
“You shibboleth, where’s your revenue—. Kuck!”
That asshole loves sales.
I slammed my fingertips into his noisy ass, and he gurgled.
“Kek! Kek! Kek! Kek!”
I grabbed the cackling creature by the hair with my left hand and whispered in its ear.
“That’s the last thing I want to hear in my life as a Young Man, is your sales pitch.”
“Cck! Kek!”
Pfft!
With that, peace came to the noisy first class.
Leaving the stunned man alone, I dusted off my hands and smiled at the secretary.
“Are we good now?”
“What? Yes, that’s it, thank you.”
Bam!
“Whoa, whoa, whoa!”
The first-class passengers all raised their hands in the air, clapping and cheering me on.
In particular, the middle-aged white man next to me, who was the next victim, tried to hug me and I had to dodge him.
“Bravo, you look great!” he said.
“hahahaha, you’re welcome—.”
“Man, I almost couldn’t take it anymore. If I wasn’t a celebrity, I would have punched you first.”
Who doesn’t say that?
But a celebrity?
Who is?
“But who are you? What celebrity?”
“Oh, no! You don’t know me?”
How do I know you?
Still, I couldn’t say that out loud.
“Are you an actor? I haven’t been watching many movies lately—.”
“No! You don’t know me? It’s me, it’s me! Richard, the famous singer!”
Holy sh*t, how the hell do I know a self-proclaimed famous singer?
“Oh, you’re a famous singer, I’m sorry.”
“Oh, my God, aren’t you Korean?”
“Yes, I am Korean.”
“But you don’t know me? How can a Korean not know me?”
Is this guy crazy?
“It’s me, Richard! Richard! Richard Marx!”
“Huh? Communist Party? Marx?”
“Hey!”
“Oh, my God!”
“Ha, you wouldn’t know. Your uncle or your parents’ generation must know me, but you do know this song, right?”
“What song?”
The middle-aged man paused for a moment, then began to sing.
Whenever I’m weary
From the battles that rage in my head
You make sense of madness
When my sanity hangs by a thread
I lose my way, but still you
Seem to understand
Now and forever…
A beautiful song came out of the man’s mouth.
And then I remembered who he was.
No, more precisely, this song was—.
“Uh, uh, this song!”
Despite my surprise, he persevered to finish the first verse, and apparently the other first-class passengers didn’t know who he was either.
When the song ended, thunderous applause erupted and people cheered for Richard.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa!”
“Richard! Richard!”
“Wow! You’re the one who sang this song?”
“Uh-huh! Do you know who I am now?”
“Really? It’s my mom’s favorite song.”
“Do you want me to sign it for you? No? I’ll call you when I get to Korea, and we can eat together?”
“Okay!”
“Okay!”
It was an eclectic flight indeed.
There was a crazy light show, live theater, and a solo performance by a self-proclaimed (?) celebrity singer.
All’s well that ends well.
The annoyed faces of the first-class passengers spread out.
The fainted lunatic woke up some time later, but he was sitting on the edge of his seat, watching my every move, until the director came and released him on the condition that he stay quiet.
I was treated like royalty by the flight attendants, especially the youngest one who kicked me in the stomach, who slipped a napkin into my hand while serving me tea, with her contact information on it.
He looks so cute, why don’t you call him?
The next thing I know, I’m at Incheon airport, and while I’m waiting, they come into the cabin and arrest the crazy guy and take him away.
“On behalf of the company, I would like to apologize and thank you. However, I’m afraid you’re going to be a bit of a nuisance.”
I apologized to the captain and told him I might be a nuisance.
“Why?”
“Well, he’s not officially blacklisted, but he’s a known quantity on our airline, and he’s already had a run-in with the law a few months ago, and his family owns some kind of product company, and they’re probably going to sue. I’ll do my best to make sure the company doesn’t harm you.”
“No, why would you put a guy like that on an airplane?”
“I think our country is still a little weak in this regard, especially since airlines are also a service industry.”
“Ah, but that’s not the case.”
“I apologize.”
Eh, I don’t know.
There are a lot of witnesses, and there are probably multiple videos.
It wasn’t just the flight attendants, the first-class passengers were filming the placenta with their smartphones.
It’s not going to be a big deal.
With that, the crazy flight was over, and I headed home, promising to get in touch with Mr. Richard to meet up.
Ding dong!
“Son!”
“Orabang!”
I was greeted by my parents and Somi’s hospitality, and the smell of fresh cheongguk wafted in.
This is my home.