47. Do you speak English?
I thought as the beads glistened on the wrapper.
It felt like it was telling me to invest in Korean periker or chicken or Mexican chicken.
For a moment, I was dumbfounded, but then I realized that there was no way that the beads were not a trick, so I quietly entered my room, turned on my computer, and searched for the company behind this Mexican restaurant called Chipotle.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, this is no joke?”
Chipotle Mexican Grill, Inc.
This was no Perry’s or some other chicken joint.
This is the Mexican fast food restaurant that is literally chewing up North America right now, with over $4.8 billion in revenue in 2017 and hundreds of millions in operating income.
It’s not a mom-and-pop shop.
“What’s the stock price,” you ask, “$313 at the close on Friday, January 5, with a market cap of over $8 billion? Huh!”
Huh?
Turns out, it’s been down a lot.
In 2015, it was over $700 per share.
It had a market cap of over $16 billion.
“But why did it drop so much?”
I kept searching, and the answer was obvious.
The company was a mess.
In March 2008, 22 customers were infected with hepatitis at the store, followed by a norovirus outbreak in April.
Then, after a lull, they had another norovirus outbreak in 2015, followed by salmonella and then E. coli the same year.
Is this America?
I don’t know about the other stuff, but E. coli is outrageous.
How can this happen in a restaurant in a country like the United States?
After all, there was a norovirus outbreak last year, and a bacteria called Clostridium perfringens.
One store even had a rat infestation.
If that’s bad enough, you should have failed 100 times over.
But the funny thing is, business was still good.
Even though the stock was down by more than half because investors lost confidence.
How could this be?
I was dumbfounded, but upon further investigation, I realized the cause.
There was no replacement restaurant!
Whereas a typical Mexican restaurant like Taco Bell is expensive and tipping is required, there is no fast food option that is as cheap, filling, and delicious.
That’s why it’s so popular among young people, including college students.
This is all well and good, but the problem is hygiene.
The frequent hygiene incidents were attributed to the use of local ingredients, a policy that has been abolished since 2015.
Chipotle is 100% franchised, so we can’t blame the owners.
In other words, there is a problem with the hygiene mindset of the management.
This is a little uncomfortable, what should I do?
I learned of its existence through Camilla, which prompted me to investigate the beads, but it was quite a fascinating product.
Even so, it’s a lot to take in, given the lack of basic hygiene in the restaurant.
But there was one thing I did believe in.
I knew that no matter how profitable it was, the beads wouldn’t signal me to invest in an ethically questionable company.
“Oh, sure, why not? Why not?”
When John came into work on Monday, we discussed the Chipotle investment.
“This is a stock I’ve been keeping an eye on.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yeah, because it’s a Mexican food chain that Steve Els, the founder, started in 1993 and has grown like crazy in a short period of time. They had an IPO in 2006, and it was amazing. I mean, it went up 100% on the first day of trading, and it went up twice its scheduled share price?”
“Huh?”
“Well, McDonald’s had a lot of fun with that, because they invested in it early on, and then they ended up owning 90% of the stock, and then they all got wiped out at the end of 2006 when they stupidly went public, but they still made almost a five-fold return.”
If McDonald had held on to his stake until now, he would have made a killing.
“The problem, you know, is hygiene. There were too many accidents.”
“I mean.”
“By the way, why are you suddenly interested in Chipotle?”
“No, Jenny wasn’t here this weekend, so I went to the kitchen to make some ramen, and then I ate a chipotle burrito that Camila bought for me, and it was really good, you know?”
“hahahahaha, I buy them sometimes too.”
“So I googled it, and it’s no joke. If it weren’t for the real hygiene issues, it would have just swept the US market, right?”
“Well, young college students and professionals and people with light pockets can’t get enough of it, because no matter where you go downtown, you’ll find a line of people standing in line around lunchtime.”
“Hmmm, so what does Hagan John think?”
“Give me a minute, let me think about it, check out some rumors, and get back to you.”
“Okay, then we’ll talk again in two days.”
Two days later, John turned to me with a big smile on his face.
“Chipotle, we’re in, right?”
“Hmm, that’s pretty positive, huh?”
“I’ve been looking around, and it looks like it’s a good time to invest. Chipotle knows that if they keep this up, it’s going to get really bad, and they’re bringing in Taco Bell CEO Brian Nichol in March. Taco Bell has never had a problem with sanitation, so it’s safe to say that when Brian Nicol comes in, they’re not going to have any more sanitation issues.”
“Oh, are you sure about that?”
“I don’t talk to the boss unless I’m sure of the information.”
“hahahaha, it’s not like I doubted you.”
“Besides, all those sanitation incidents at Chipotle could actually be a strength.”
All those hygiene incidents can be a strength?
What the hell does that mean?
“How do you mean?”
“We’ve had so many hygiene incidents that would have ruined any other food chain. If you pay a little more attention to hygiene here, you’ll be able to survive almost any hygiene incident in the future. In short, it’s like having a vaccine against one of the biggest risks in the food business, the stomach incident.”
“Aha!”
How does that work?
“Chipotle isn’t really about fine dining in the first place. It’s about a simple, inexpensive meal, and you get to pick your own ingredients, and best of all, there’s no tipping. I don’t have to tell you how burdensome tipping is in American culture.”
“Seriously, American tipping culture is a b*tch.”
The American tipping culture is really problematic.
It depends on where you are, but it’s usually not a burden because the standard starts at 15% and goes up to 20%.
This is something that most people in the US feel very uncomfortable with.
“On top of that, we have a growing Hispanic population in the US. Depending on where you stand politically, some people might be offended by that, but that’s beside the point, reality is reality, and when you put all of that together, it’s my opinion that now is a good time to invest in Chipotle.”
“Great! You’re investing?”
“hahahaha, sure, how much?”
“You’re almost done cleaning up Scientific Games, right?”
“Yeah, we’re getting close. I think we’re coming in at a little over a billion dollars.”
“Let’s put that in, and then another $500 million on top of that, right?”
“Okay, let’s call it a $1.5 billion investment.”
“Are you going to start right away?”
“I don’t think so. Let’s invest in February, because I think the whole stock market is going to have a correction.”
“Well, that’s up to you, John.”
“Yes, boss.”
Chipotle for lunch today.
February 5th.
The U.S. stock market crashes.
In one day, the Dow plunged 4.6%, the S&P 500 dropped 4.10%, and the Nasdaq dropped 3.78%.
According to John, the Federal Reserve’s interest rate hike was the main culprit, along with a combination of other factors, including fear of a slowdown among investors.
We were in a position to take advantage of the fact that John had already anticipated a correction in the stock market to some extent, and the prayer beads were also sending out signals.
In any case, John took advantage of the timing and skillfully scooped up Chipotle shares that had fallen to $250.
He originally looked for a block deal, but someone had already swept it up by nearly 10% months ago, so it wasn’t available.
Still, John is John.
By the end of February, he’d used up all $1.5 billion at an average purchase price of $260 per share.
He was a master manipulator.
Boom! Boom! Boom!
A tremendous roar pounded my eardrums.
This was Shanghai International Circuit, Shanghai, China.
Boom, boom, boom, boom!
“sh*t, it’s loud!”
It was really, really loud.
“Alex, it’s really loud, isn’t it?”
“Lisa, I think I’ve lost the ability to be a Formula One fan, I don’t know what’s what, and I’ve lost my mind.”
“Ho ho ho, me neither!”
Lisa and I had to shout back at each other over the deafening roar.
“Alex, let’s go down there!”
“Ai, why are you making so much noise down there, and besides, I don’t think anyone is allowed down there.”
“Come on, Alex, we’re not just anybody, we’re VIPs, we’re sponsors, we’re sponsors, do you wear foam tags on your chest?”
“Huh?”
I looked at the tags on my chest and Lisa’s chest.
VIP in big letters.
Aha! So this is why we get a free pass everywhere?
“But that looks like where the racing machines start, why do you want to go there?”
“Shouldn’t you be working?”
“Work? What work?”
At my question, Aunt Lisa shoved something into her jacket pocket and held it up.
“This! You’re supposed to be promoting this, right?”
“Oh, that’s great!”
What Auntie Lisa pulled out of her pocket was a Ryzen CPU.
Everyone who saw it asked to take a picture of it, and she held it in her hand.
She was irresistible.
Anyway, I was dragged by Auntie Lisa down to this place called the Grid.
It’s a really off-limits area, but when I showed the VIP pass on my chest, the security guards politely let me in.
As we were hanging out there, a white reporter grabbed Auntie Lisa.
Apparently, the presence of a middle-aged Asian woman in a gridlocked area caught his eye.
But the reporter’s first words were awful.
“Hey! Do you speak English?”
From nob le mt l. co m
Jesus!
Doesn’t he know Lisa Sue?
The woman who, as of 2018, is the idol and lightning rod of the world’s comedians?
She’s as popular here as any Hollywood star?
Also, do you speak English?
Auntie Lisa was born in Taiwan, but she was raised in the United States.
She’s an MIT PhD, and she’s published dozens of papers on semiconductors.
By the way, my Aunt Lisa is so cool.
“Yes, I do!”
“What are you doing here?”
“Me? I’m from AMD, and I’m here as a Ferrari sponsor.”
“Uh, huh?”
In fluent English, Lisa shows the reporter her AMD ID and VIP pass pinned to her chest, and the reporter is incredibly flustered.
“Uh, yeah. Wow, look at you, you can really go anywhere, Ferrari sponsor, hahahaha—.”
“Okay! I’m on my way.”
“Uh, um—.”
Auntie Lisa replied nonchalantly with her usual cool expression and grabbed me again, leading me somewhere else.
The reporter was still dazed.
“Lisa, don’t you feel bad?”
“About what?”
“For asking you if you speak English.”
“Oh, this is Shanghai, China, of course I can.”
“No, but does that mean I don’t know Lisa?”
Whether she realized it or not, Lisa was already a household name, and not just among the commodities.
“Can’t you tell? I’m hungry! Alex, why don’t you go buy some food?”
“Hmph! Sure.”
I took the cheerful Aunt Lisa and went to get some rice.
And, as I predicted, the reporter was ridiculed around the world as the video went viral.
It looked like he was going to be stuffed and tormented forever.