87. I swear on this spot.
I don’t know what the hell this is about.
Why would the President of the United States, and by extension, Trump, a half-crazed maniac as far as I’m concerned, want to see me?
“No, why would the President of the United States want to see me, is this a prank call?”
“Ha, I see it’s not a prank call. It’s the White House press secretary.”
“What is this, you didn’t even ask me what it was for?”
“He says he’s only calling because he has urgent instructions. What should I do?”
“Call him back and ask him what he’s here for, at least a rough agenda. You can’t just say you’re going to see that crazy guy who isn’t even the president, right?”
“Okay.”
From nob le mt l. co m
John dialed the number I’d given him in front of me and asked the White House press secretary what it was about, and the guy checked and said it was about the coronavirus.
With the kindly (?) advice that it would be useless to ask more.
“This is what they say? I guess they want to see me because of the quarantine supplies my boss is funding.”
“If that’s the case, I don’t want to see more—.”
I hated him.
I already disliked him, but I hated him even more when I heard the reason for the meeting.
It’s obvious, they want more quarantine supplies.
But we were giving enough to the United States.
I’m a permanent resident of the United States because they are our first ally and blood brother.
I am also a permanent resident of the United States who won the Powerball, the American lottery, which changed my life, and I am making an astronomical amount of money in the United States using it as seed money.
Naturally, I couldn’t help but think of the United States after Korea, and I think it’s morally right.
Therefore, we are supporting them to the limit, so we can’t appease them anymore.
The U.S. government is aware of this, and the other day, Trump himself said that he was grateful to the Korean government and Karma Group for the quarantine supplies.
The vaccine hasn’t been announced yet, so I’m not going to talk about that.
“Boss! It’s Trump, it’s Trump, it’s not some other president!”
“It’s not Trump, it’s a pitched battle, he doesn’t have anything to say?”
“Trump has something to say, right? You know how much of a backstabber he is? He robs us, we rob him, and even though Jeffrey says he’s legitimately ‘cutting taxes,’ when Trump puts his mind to it, dirt comes out. You have to meet him, even if you don’t want to. Besides, the boss isn’t even an American citizen, is he?”
“…”
The super-rich in the US pay very little tax.
As a rule, the top US federal tax bracket is 37%.
Trump lowered that, too.
But whether it’s Amazon’s Bezos, Bill Gates, or Warren Buffett, not a single human being pays federal income taxes.
The U.S. tax code is so full of loopholes that if you hire a good lawyer, accountant, or other tax professional, you can’t legally pay it.
That Warren Buffett pays an average of 0.1% in federal income taxes.
I still pay 1% in good conscience, but—.
“Just sit there and listen to what Trump says. All you have to do is smile and say Yes! Yes!”
“I don’t think so—.”
“Boss!”
“Okay, tell him I’ll see him.”
In the end, I lost.
Even though I was wrong to go to the Earth President in the first place.
“Phew, that’s a good idea.”
“But when and where do you want to see me, and I hope you don’t mean in public, or I’ll really run away to Korea.”
“Fortunately, I think we’ll see each other privately, but the day we see each other is—.”
“What’s the date?”
“It’s tomorrow night at 7:00 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. He wants to have dinner with me.”
“What? Tomorrow? Does that crazy inspiration guy think I’m his subordinate?”
“Uh, yeah.”
“…”
It’s 6 p.m. Pacific Time in Los Angeles. Three hours different from the US Eastern time zone.
That means I only have 22 hours from now.
I have to fly a whopping 4,000 kilometers.
“Aahhhhh! John!”
“Yes, boss.”
“Talk to Jeffrey and push the Democratic candidate hard in this year’s presidential election, spare no expense!”
“Hmph, okay, I’ll spare no expense, just make sure you’re ready, okay?”
“Okay.”
The next morning I boarded a private plane bound for Washington, DC.
With a reluctant Jeffrey.
“No, why do you think I’m going? To meet that crazy inspirational guy!”
“Oh, really, who asked you to go meet him, you’re just asking me to go with you because you’re insecure?”
My brother Jeffrey, who had lived in California his entire life except for school, hated Trump more than anyone.
He called him the scourge of humanity.
“Ha, okay, I’m already on the plane. I’ll be waiting outside for you anyway.”
“Thanks, Jeffrey.”
“By the way, John told me you’re supporting the Democratic candidate in this election?”
“Yeah, it’s just so disturbing. Look at what they’re doing to our country, some nutcase suddenly wants us to pay five times as much for our share of the defense bill, and he’s got a whole bunch of blues about pulling our troops out of Korea.”
“That’s what I’ve been told.”
“What, that he’s pulling the troops out?”
“Yeah, I’ve heard from people in politics that the rumors that Trump is going to pull the troops out are true.”
“Oh, no, not that crazy son of a b*tch, where’s your wife?”
Trump has finally been promoted from crazy to crazy asshole in my mouth.
“So?”
“So what? He’s been having a hell of a time with Secretary of Defense Mattis and now Secretary of Defense Esper, because they know full well that the U.S. Forces Korea isn’t just for South Korea. So they’ve been pleading that it’s in America’s interest to keep it there.”
“Huh!”
“They basically said they hate Korea a lot.”
“Why? Did he lose anything in Korea? I thought he got a good deal on an apartment or something?”
“I don’t know, but yeah, maybe less so now that you’ve been sending me tons of quarantine supplies in the name of Korea.”
“Wow, he really shouldn’t be re-elected, should he?”
“Hey, don’t be horrible. I’m leaving the country if Trump gets re-elected this time.”
“…”
From nob le mt l. co m
Jeffrey’s brother’s dislike for this guy is genuine.
“Are you sure you’re supporting the Democratic candidate?”
“Yeah, as long as it’s legal, I’ll support them unlimitedly. Don’t they have some kind of campaign finance laws?”
“Hmph, limits? There are. It’s just that they’ve been broken.”
“Hmm? What do you mean, it’s been ignored?”
“Well, the U.S. is governed by the Federal Election Commission, which was always a bit of a loophole, so in 2002, they put a lot of restrictions on soft money, or donations that don’t go through the FEC, which was overturned by the Supreme Court in 2010 because they said it was a violation of free speech, so now we have this thing called a Super PAC, which is a political action committee, and it’s virtually unlimited.”
“Huh! So much for America, doesn’t that mean that candidates supported by people with money will prevail?”
“That’s what they say in the U.S. Anyway, you can spend as much money as you want.”
“Then feel free to take it and spend it, just don’t expose us.”
“That’s the carrot!”
“Hmph!”
Trump is not just a disaster for America, he’s a disaster for humanity.
I really can’t see him getting re-elected.
“Hello, Mr. President, I’m Alex Kang from Karma Investments.”
“Ohhhhh! Good to see you! Good to see you! The man of miracles, or should I say, the man of luck, hahahahaha!”
“…”
What are you talking about?
You sound like you know something.
I was now meeting Trump in the Oval Office of the White House.
In the very same room from an American movie or TV show.
“Look, Alex, I know you’ve done a lot for our country. Let me start by saying thank you!”
First?
What do you mean, first?
Are you saying there’s a heresy here?
“Thank you, Mr. President.”
“Just call me Donald. You deserve it. You’ve got cancer. Uh-huh!”
“Thank you, Mr. President. Donald.”
“Well, why don’t we move over and talk over dinner?”
“Yeah, sure.”
We sat down to eat, but I couldn’t get the food to fit in my mouth, and I was too nervous to eat.
Not to mention that Trump’s constant ramblings about his successes also contributed to my lack of appetite.
When we finished eating, we retired to the study and drank the whiskey he poured for us.
“Now, Alex,” he said, “don’t you wonder why I asked to see you?”
“Yes, I am curious, to be honest, and what did you call me for?”
“First of all, I want to thank you, once again, as President of the United States, for taking the initiative to send so many quarantine supplies to our country.”
“No. Didn’t the United States also do a lot for my country, Korea, during the Korean War and afterward? We Koreans don’t forget when we’re helped, so I guess you can consider it a reciprocation.”
“hahahaha! You really do make sense, don’t you? That’s right. How much support have we, the United States, given to your country? When you think about it, it’s only natural, cancer, of course!”
“…”
No, asshole?
Isn’t this the kind of response you get when someone shows the virtue of humility?
“That’s right.”
“So, speaking of which, I’d like you to use your powers to help us, the United States, a little more.”
“Mr. President over there.”
“Donald!”
“Yes, Donald. I’m trying to do the best I can with what I have available, and I can’t do much more than that.”
“No, no. You clearly have more to offer our country. Cancer, you have!”
“No, really. I’m helping out as much as I can with diagnostic kits, hazmat suits, masks, etc. How dare I bullsh*t Donald?”
“Well, well, well, I didn’t tell you enough.”
“What? What are you talking about?”
What the hell are you talking about?
You f*cking asshole?
“There’s a vaccine, isn’t there, the one we’ve been secretly working on since last year?”
“…”
“I’m the President of the United States, and you tell me the truth.”
“So what do you want me to do about the vaccine, which is now in clinical trials?”
“My understanding is that it will be available in July?”
“It needs to be approved by the Korean Ministry of Food and Drug Safety and the FDA in the US.”
“Don’t worry about that, I’ll help you with that!”
“Thanks, but what do you want me to do with the vaccine?”
“It’s obvious, isn’t it? We’re supposed to supply the US first.”
“What? We are prioritizing South Korea after all.”
“Noo! Noo! You can’t do that, can you?”
“What are you talking about?”
“What’s the matter with you, I thought you were supposed to be especially grateful to us, the United States, don’t you think, Mr. Powerball?”
“…”
This asshole?
I swear to you on this spot.
I will stop this asshole from being re-elected at all costs.