The Hero Party With Whom I Am About To Part Ways Is Obsessed With Me chapter 197

197 – negative-4

“Why?”

A little desperately, a little bit incomprehensibly, Celia looked at me with pitiful eyes.

“I’m sure… I’m sure this isn’t what Enerel was hoping for. Just think how much Enerel hated us and how much we did wrong to Enerel.”

“I do not care.”

From the beginning, I wasn’t here to talk to them.

I was wondering what to say. However, I did not come here to have a sincere discussion with the intention of seriously changing my mind.

“You’ll regret it. You’ll be angry with all of us for giving up on returning home for these people.”

“It could be. It doesn’t matter.”

“It can’t be…”

The inside of the coffin was filled with bright light. It wasn’t bad to be able to see Celia’s face clearly, but it hurt my eyes.

“did you eat?”

“That… that’s not the point.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

Celia moved her hand with difficulty, overlapping my hand that was resting on the edge of the coffin.

“I, too… know Enerel’s feelings. Even now…”

That would be the case, I was thinking to some extent.

You cannot pour out your emotions one-sidedly. The moment she poured out a storm of emotions on me, she must have been seeing the illusion I was seeing as well as I.

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Just as I did not give up even after seeing her sorrow and pain, rest and despair, she did not give up even after feeling my will and emotion.

“You’re admitting it! I didn’t say anything wrong!”

“Well, to some extent.”

“then…”

“Still, I don’t know.”

It’s not just her.

The past me she wants to protect.

I cursed that I wanted to get out of this hopeless situation at all costs, and wished they would die if I had the chance.

I despaired of wanting to die right away, wanting to stop all of this.

For that, I wished that I could dedicate anything.

All of that past me, the present me is nothing to know.

“I’m sure you’ll regret it…”

“Tell me how many times. I know. It doesn’t matter.”

my life doesn’t change It won’t get any better here.

Even those women who are obsessed with me to the point of giving up their liver and gallbladder right now, will surely lose their minds one day.

Even I, who thinks I can do anything to save them right now, will resent them someday.

People don’t change. Temporarily, they may feel that I am more important than their wishes, but I cannot put them in their place.

Earth may be missed. The charm of that warm civilization, the beautiful resorts that remain in my memory, games, novels, cartoons and food might bother me.

One day, maybe I’ll hate them. You may regret this choice now.

“Still, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter what I thought, what I said, or what I promised.”

It doesn’t matter if I throw away the past me who cursed them in humiliation, misery, and pain, and the promise I made with that past me like a devoted partner.

It doesn’t matter if the me of the past who groaned in pain resents and hates the me of now who is trying to protect them. it’s not my knowledge

It’s okay if my credit for myself falls to the ground and I have myself resentful of me in my heart.

“Even if the future me regrets this choice, it is none of my business.”

I knocked on the gap of time, and even if the future me cried out, “Please don’t make that choice, can’t you see my miserable image,” I didn’t really want to care.

Even if I am now, blinded by the urge of the moment, spending the happiness and peace that I deserve to enjoy in the future, even if I am committing an obscene act.

It is the me of the future who can handle it, not the me of the present.

“wake up.”

Now I have to face the present me. Now, filled with the desire and obsession to kill people, I am more important than anyone else.

“Or are you going to run away? Dead?”

Death can be sublime at times. The act of achieving everything you want and sacrificing everything for the sake of those left behind may seem noble at first glance.

But, that wasn’t the case for us.

“Don’t you want to endure the humiliation, pain, and temptation you will experience in life?”

Celia, too, would be anxious. After realizing how weak her heart is, there are no gods left to support her anymore.

Forgiveness is painful. Living with that heart may be more difficult for someone like her than enduring physical pain.

Many people do not admit the fact that they did wrong and take what a great effort and sacrifice to avoid it.

What could have been done with an apology, went round and round, claiming that it was a misunderstanding and that he hadn’t done anything wrong.

You don’t want to admit that you are the wrong person. I don’t want to announce that I am a person who made the wrong choice of my own will.

Me and her too. Since I was such a nasty person, I could understand Celia’s feelings.

Living with the feeling that you weren’t right was just as painful.

“Someday… We, too, will torment Enerel again…”

“Are you really going to do that?”

Keeping a sorry heart is sad and difficult.

In the vision of the future Celia showed me, it must have had such a meaning that others betrayed me.

Maybe one day they will betray me too. Again.

So, I want to end with this. Because the dead cannot betray.

Because at the last moment, you can remain a ‘noble and pure redeemer’.

“However, Enerel… didn’t do anything to us… She just suffers alone. Just because we’re alive, Enerel won’t help…”

“Can you bet I will continue to do that? I’m not.”

“yes?”

I forcibly pulled her body out of the coffin. It must have been her body, not the coffin, that emitted the light.

It was insanely light. Maybe it’s because my power has grown stronger.

Because there were times when I held her and when she moved while holding me.

“Can you tell me what I’m going to do to you?”

“Yes?”

I lightly tugged at her silver hair.

“Not so far, but there is no guarantee that it will continue to be so.”

“Ahh…”

“I can force you to sing a song that insults the gods, or I can threaten Nerwen with forcing him to smell the disgusting smell of omelet.”

The truth doesn’t matter. If you put the word ‘possibility’ in front of it, there was no reason to take responsibility for the words that would come out after that.

“You can ask Farseer to destroy her dreams and research results with his hands, or you can force Eleanor to do a vulgar and shameful dance.”

Shocked by the unexpected words, Celia closed her eyes tightly.

“How about it, you guys can’t help me even like this? Is there anything I can do with you guys?”

And, if all of that feels meaningless and not as fun as I imagined, someday.

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Just as I imagined when I first fell into this world, when I went on my first trip with them.

A beautiful party, respect for each other, no one getting sick or suffering, and being able to pass by and give joy to people.

A little romantic, a little passionate, peaceful enough to feel that happiness is boring at times because there are only happy things.

You may be able to go on such a trip.

After adding the word ‘if’, I don’t have to take responsibility for anything I say.

“That, that’s…”

“Well, I’ve never tried it myself before, but if you guys like me that much, it’s worth a try. Isn’t it?”

I had the meanest, most vicious laugh I could have.

It was pointless to try to respond head-on to Celia’s sense of debt to me. can’t convince her

You have to use it.

“By the way, no matter how much I hate it? It’s easy to die. I know because I tried.”

“No. Seriously, in that sense…”

“I can protect you from the Farseers, but I can’t protect you from yourself. If you’re determined to bite your tongue and die, my skills won’t save you, right?”

“that…”

“So, are you going to run away?”

Celia was still unable to speak.

“So, how about this?”

Our emotions were already so deeply connected. Celia had given me vivid hallucinations several times, and allowed me to feel her painful sensations unfiltered.

So, I could too.

“Ahhhh!”

Celia screams. That would be the case, because the fantasy I showed her wouldn’t have been something she could endure.

A childish, funny, soft fantasy full of happiness. A fantasy full of lies, in which all the members of the hero’s party are laughing happily.

“It’s hard? Well, think of it as self-employed.”

For her who had already lived in that fantasy, who lost so much and then realized that it was an illusion, this must have been a very painful fantasy.

Celia lost strength in her legs and collapsed.

“I might be asking for this.”

“It can’t be, it can’t be…”

“Well, that’s true. I still get angry when I see you, and the good vibes go away when I see other people. But…”

I sat down with one leg bent and held Celia’s shoulder.

“Someday, maybe I’ll want this?”

I didn’t hear a single word of sincerity. Everything I said and did was just deception.

The only goal is for her to find the will to live. At this moment, no one is going to die. That’s it.

“Ahh…”

However, Celia has no choice but to be fooled. Even knowing that, I can’t resist.

“So, live.”

Resolutely, I gently pressed the staggering woman to the ground.

Soon, Celia’s movements stopped. The small sound of her breathing let her know that her heart was beating.

Slowly, the darkness lifted.