2 – First Steps into Society
0.
“What? Idol? Manager?! You?!!”
“Yes, me. But is it really that surprising?”
“Isn’t it surprising? You, Kang Jin-hyuk, wanting to be an idol manager?”
“Well… Even if it seems unfitting, dreaming is free, right?”
“That’s true. But why suddenly an idol manager?”
“Well… It’s all thanks to that lady.”
“Byul? Why her?”
“She shines bright like her name suggests. She’s debuting soon. As someone almost like her brother, seeing her shine like a star…”
“You want to create that star yourself? But why specifically an idol manager? If you’re inspired by Byul, why not just manage her?”
“She’s someone who can shine on her own, like the sun if you will. What can I do as her manager? At most, I’d just be running errands. That’s why I don’t want to be her manager.”
“······What?”
“And Miss, you have the kind of personality that would never join a group. Being solo is your destiny······ I guess it’s better for you to become a manager for several people rather than just one beautiful person, right? Variety is the spice of life, diverse experiences······ That’s the truth, isn’t it?”
Yeah, there’s no arguing with that if you count the numbers.
“Anyway, that’s why I want to try being an idol manager. I want to create hope that makes people happy with my hands, beyond just being a fan.”
“······.”
“Of course, there’s still a lot to do now. It’s literally just a dream for now. So, hyung-nim, I haven’t quit this job yet, so you don’t have to look at me with such a serious expression······.”
“What the hell are you saying, crazy guy? What does having someone else’s daughter have to do with all this nonsense!”
Thud!
1.
Yeah, that’s how it was.
The conversation I had with hyung-nim a month before being imprisoned was as vivid as yesterday’s events.
The reason why the reality of life outside, which didn’t even come out in my dreams until yesterday, suddenly came to mind today is because.
“Good job, Mr. Jinhyeok.”
“Do you even need to say ‘good job’?”
It’s because today is the day I leave this prison.
Clank.
As the thick iron door unlocked and opened, Chief Kim, the guard who had been with me all along, cheered me on.
“I believe you’ll do well, Mr. Jinhyeok.”
“Yes, I believe I will do well too.”
“hahahaha. Mr. Jinhyeok, you speak so confidently, it’s amusing.”
“I am someone who can stand tall.”
“Yeah, yeah. Not just anyone can become a special envoy, right? Of course, even though you’ve been a special envoy for seven years.”
“I received it sweetly because I had committed a crime.”
“hahahaha, truly cool until the end. Jinhyuk, even though you have a criminal record, I’m looking forward to what you’ll become.”
Since the year I entered this prison, Superintendent Kim, who took office here, and I became somewhat close, feeling a camaraderie over the seven years.
Of course, I am a prisoner, and Superintendent Kim is a prison guard, but still, for seven years, we lived under the same roof.
Whether you are inside or outside the iron bars, the only difference was the location; we were no different from friends.
“I was going to say this since you’re getting out soon. I remember when Superintendent Kim first saw me.”
He went crazy, saying I was the attempted murderer featured in the news and if he wanted to die, he should try resisting arrest once.
“Well, back then, I was genuinely sorry!”
The desperate voice of Superintendent Kim interrupted the reminiscence.
I turned my head and looked at Superintendent Kim, who had a face that perfectly matched the word “awkward.”
“So, after resolving the misunderstanding, I secretly put some corrosion in your food and stuff. Huh? That was already seven years ago, but whenever I bring up people’s mistakes when I’m bored, I can’t help but feel sorry!”
Making fun of Superintendent Kim by bringing up that day’s mistake never got old.
But now that I think it’s the last time, a corner of my heart feels empty for no reason.
Maybe that’s why.
“I understand everything. As a newbie superintendent who recently took office, you had to do something like that to not appear soft to the prisoners.”
“Yeah, I get it. When you call later, I’ll get some soju… Uh, what? What did you say just now?”
After becoming close with Superintendent Kim for seven years, I finally revealed my true feelings that I had never expressed before.
“I understand. You had no choice, Superintendent Kim.”
To forget everything about that day, Eunwon had to hold recognition and understanding in his mouth.
Now, it was a bit regrettable that he couldn’t tease Manager Kim anymore, but there had been enough amusement, and today would be the last day seeing Manager Kim in prison, so forgiving him for one thing wouldn’t matter.
In fact, it couldn’t be called Eunwon at all. Misunderstandings were quickly resolved, and after the misunderstanding was cleared, he sincerely apologized, leaving no trace of resentment.
Originally, it was amusing because of Manager Kim’s reactions; if there were no reactions, he would have swallowed his forgiveness the day the misunderstanding was cleared.
What to do if the reaction is so satisfying? In the prison where there was nothing enjoyable, teasing Manager Kim was always fun and refreshing. Honestly, he couldn’t resist it.
Manager Kim, who was unaware of this fact, looked at me with undisguised excitement in his eyes, trembling.
“Hey, are you forgiving me?”
No, if the reaction is too good even here, I’ll be the only bad guy. What kind of trash am I, who teased someone regretting an incident from seven years ago for seven years?
Not trembling from cold or fear, but from the genuine excitement that only someone truly moved could show, a sense of guilt pierced my chest.
“Mr. Jinhyeok… thanks to you, until now…”
Clang!
His words, which would undoubtedly continue to torment Manager Kim with a faint sense of guilt even after his release, were fortunately cut off as the iron door opened completely.
But just because there was a sudden noise and a momentary pause in the conversation didn’t mean I was the type to stop talking forever. Quickly bowing my head, I greeted Manager Kim before he could say anything.
“Thank you so far, Manager Kim! Let’s see each other if you’re not busy!”
“Uh, uh? W-wait…”
“Well, I have someone waiting, so I’ll be going! Goodbye!”
With that, without waiting for Manager Kim’s response, I quickly ran out the door, pounding the ground with all my might.
Bang!
Without looking back, only focusing on what was ahead, I was greeted by a world covered in white snow, not a small concrete-blocked prison in all directions.
Seven years, it’s been seven years. A whopping seven years.
No matter how much I run, the road never ends.
It was not even comparable to the prison, which was just circling around a yellow playground. It was a wide, long asphalt road that stretched out.
Seven years ago, it was just a paved road, but now it was better for running than any other road.
For someone like me, who had first experienced the perfectly controlled, small world of a prison, the past seven years felt incredibly suffocating.
Before entering the prison, I had gladly given up my ten-year sentence and the possibility of being forgotten by the world. The past seven years were unimaginably terrible, to the point where I wanted to destroy the version of myself who had once been happy about it.
But that’s all in the past now. I was still in my twenties and my body was unharmed, so I could do anything.
From now on, just looking ahead and running won’t be enough. So, let’s end the old thoughts here. From now on, I live only for tomorrow.
The gangster who lived only for today, and the prisoner who lived only for yesterday, are no longer here.
From now on, I will be a constructive person who lives only for tomorrow, refraining from using my fists or speaking recklessly.
“So, to do that, I’ll need someone to help me shine in my glorious tomorrow.”
Without resting from the prison, I arrived at the roadside and held the old cellphone given to me by Manager Kim, the only ally I had lost contact with for about five years.
He’s a really good person.
I remembered thinking that someday I would succeed and owe him a big favor, or even several favors.
“Come to think of it, I hope the number hasn’t changed. If it has, it’ll be a disaster.”
Five years is a long time, both in prison and in society, where things can change drastically.
So, there’s a possibility that the phone number has changed as well.
Of course, if the person named “me” occupies even a small place in his mind, he wouldn’t have made the foolish mistake of changing his phone number… right?
Denying any possibility, I dialed the number I remembered on the cellphone.
Ring-ring! Ring-ring!
As they did, not far away, a bell rang from outside the field of vision, sounding crass and noisy to anyone who might hear it.
“Who doesn’t have thoughts, seriously!”
“Well… I don’t have you. If you were going to meet like this, you should’ve at least sent a letter. What’s the point of getting lost on the way? You still seem to have no plan, even after seven years.”
I hung up the disconnected call and turned my head to look at my elder brother.
“Is that something you say to your brother whom you’re meeting after five years?! After spending seven years in prison, shouldn’t there be some rehabilitation and change when you come out? Why do you seem the same as before going in?”
Five years ago, my brother had told me not to come here and to work hard for myself. He left me with only words to trust him and had not met me since. Yet, my brother, who had spent seven years in prison, was still standing strong in the same place.
I chuckled at my brother’s unchanged appearance and replied exactly as he had said.
“Well, you’re the same, aren’t you?”
“hahahaha. Is that so? Seeing each other after five years, haven’t I aged or anything?”
“I’ll take that as a compliment. You’re truly yourself, brother.”
“That’s right. A man is a man. It’s a natural thing, a natural thing.”
“I’m hungry, so buy me a meal. I’m really craving beef soup.”
“I knew you’d say that, so I found another great beef soup place around here. Follow me, Jinhyuk.”
Leaving those words, my brother walked confidently, still as robust as beef soup. Standing next to him, I could truly feel that I had come out.
Perhaps that’s why. With a smile that rarely appeared in prison, I walked beside my brother, who still had a hearty presence.
Today is January 1st. The first day of the new year.