37 – How Gangsters Deal with School Violence (8)
1.
Not bring it out? Well, it’s not the kind of story you tell to someone you just met today.
After hearing Lira’s words, I could understand why she approached me so friendly.
From the beginning, Lira had something she wanted from me.
She probably thought she could achieve what she wanted, addressing me as “Oppa” from the first meeting to express familiarity.
Of course, it might not have been intentional on Lira’s part, and she might have felt a sense of intimacy instinctively after I saved her life that day, making it easier to seek help.
Whether Lira had any expectations of me or not, it wasn’t really important whether she deliberately showed intimacy to achieve those expectations or not.
What was important was that Lira, despite her connections with her father, teacher, friends, and acquaintances, all of whom she had built up until now, came to me, a complete stranger, seeking help.
No one else could listen, only I, a stranger, could fulfill Lira’s request, which was not even a difficult task of “getting it out here.”
By saying such words to a complete stranger like me, it was as if there was no one in Lira’s life who could fulfill that request.
Just by looking at the short request in one sentence and Lira’s dark sunken pupils, it seemed like I could vaguely understand how difficult her life had been, but still, it was difficult to offer help without hesitation.
Unlike Hanai, who only had enemies around her, Lira had her father.
“Can I ask why?”
So, I had to find out exactly what kind of difficult life she was living in order for her to make such a desperate request to me.
That was the purpose of my question, and in response to this question, Lira opened her chapped lips after struggling a few times in the cold.
“…My life is like being in a cage.”
※※※
On the day Hari was born, she lost her mother.
Despite the doctor’s warning that the mother could die, she insisted on giving birth because her body was weak.
Hari, who was born forcefully because it was unacceptable for the child to be defective, briefly embraced her mother’s arms and then could no longer be held by her mother.
A degenerate child who devoured her own mother.
Those were the words that Hari’s grandmother uttered when she first saw her, filled with anger.
The moment Hari heard those words, Hayeoksoo decided to cut ties with his extended family and vowed never to see his mother-in-law again, but the words “A degenerate child who devoured her own mother.” were deeply embedded in Hayeoksoo’s heart.
Thus, her mother’s death became a shackle that wrapped around Hari’s ankles, and the chain attached to the shackle became Hayeoksoo’s own.
“Our daughter, you must exercise diligently. You need to be strong and healthy.”
Because her body was weak and unhealthy, Hayeoksoo believed that his wife had died, so he made Hari exercise from the moment she took her first steps.
Taekwondo national team hopeful, Ha Hyeoksoo’s coaching, which had been systematic following a training menu, made Harira healthier. Resembling her mother, who had a delicate constitution, he bestowed upon her the best of health.
Up to this point, everything was fine.
The vacancies left by her mother and wife were still significant, but both Harira and Ha Hyeoksoo were happy.
However, as Harira entered elementary school and the world around her expanded, cracks began to appear in their happiness.
[Lira! After school today, can’t you join us for some fun?]
In 3rd grade, despite not fully shedding her baby fat, Harira’s charm, concealed yet present, won the favor of her peers. The disciplined physical abilities she developed by exercising with her father since childhood also earned admiration from other kids.
Perhaps that’s why young Harira was surrounded by children, and they would not let her go straight home after school but insisted on playing with her.
“Oh, no. My dad told me to come straight home after school.”
Initially, Harira bowed her head, recalling the promise with her father. However, the temptation did not end there.
“Still, Lira, it’s his birthday, and his wish is to ride bikes with you! We want to play with you too! Can’t we? Can’t we?”
“B, birthday? You really want to play with me that much?”
Growing up under her father’s care without attending kindergarten, Harira, who had never played with friends after school, silently harbored dissatisfaction with the relationship of friendship. Thus, the invitations from her friends were a sweet temptation.
“Yes! Of course!”
“Well, then, just a little bit, okay? I still have to go home before my dad finishes work.”
“Great! Let’s go!”
Eager to play with friends, Harira accepted the request and, like a typical 3rd grader, lost track of time while having fun.
“My dad told me to come home right after school and do homework! It’s dangerous to wander around like this!”
In the end, as the evening covered the world, Harira, who had returned home for the first time since she was born, faced her father’s scolding.
Crack!
He was slapped by his father for the first time in his life.
That day marked the beginning. It was the day Harira realized that his life was trapped inside a cage.
Even after several years, his father’s obsession, who considered his daughter the only remaining thing after losing his wife, showed no signs of fading.
“Are you studying properly? What about exercise? You’re not wandering around because I work late, right? Study hard and go to a good college. Definitely! You must work inside a building, sitting down. In the summer, it should be cool, and in winter, warm. Got it?”
Instead, his father’s obsession with Harira grew stronger, and Harira’s opinions were ignored as she insisted on prioritizing only safety, defining her future life.
As a father, it was advice that could be easily given, mundane even, but the obsession embedded within was too significant and heavy for Harira to ignore.
“Finally, a high school student. I was worried about not being able to send you to an academy because of the lack of money, but now there’s no need to worry. I told the homeroom teacher that you’ll be working part-time, so focus on studying at school. Got it?”
On the day of the high school entrance ceremony, the moment Harira heard her father deciding to meet the homeroom teacher first and take on a part-time job, something in her chest snapped. It was the thread of patience.
Being told that she should fulfill the expectations of being a good child and that her father had sacrificed for her upbringing, it was a thick and strong rope of a destined connection. However, no matter how thick and strong a rope is, if it is exposed to a storm without maintenance, it ages and frays.
On that day, the thread of patience, worn out over time, snapped with her father’s words.
“I don’t want to.”
“What?”
That’s how Harira rebelled against her father’s words for the first time.
“I don’t want to study! I, I want to be an idol!”
For the first time since birth, she spoke her dream, so much like a high school student and a youth.
She was seventeen years old.
※※※
“…So, that’s when the rebellious phase began. The model student who used to listen well to Dad’s words twisted that day, got into fights with the school thugs and all.”
Note: All characters are fictional and above 21 years of age.
After hearing Lira’s story, I could understand why she had confronted ten gangsters on the third floor of the building.
But if that were the case, there should have been something unsettling in my eyes. Lira didn’t have that kind of discomfort; all I could feel was her boldness and resilience.
However, even after hearing Lira’s story, there was something puzzling.
Despite becoming an adult and venturing into society, I had lived among all sorts of scoundrels, not as an upright citizen but as a gangster.
I’ve seen kids being bullied, thugs extorting money, and perpetrators of school violence without a shred of decency. Those guys, with a stench that you could feel just by sniffing the air.
But with Lira, there was none of that unsettling feeling that usually came from bad guys or those about to do something wrong.
Was it just a rebellious phase, and she didn’t do anything wrong? But if she didn’t do anything wrong, did it make sense for her to fight alone against ten thugs just because the rebellious phase came? Thinking about the curses I muttered while rushing down the stairs, it didn’t seem like she used her fists to uphold justice.
“I didn’t provoke them for a fight. I’ve never fought. I just got beaten up one-sidedly.”
That doubt seemed like it could be resolved in Lira’s subsequent words.
“Considering that, her victorious spirit was quite extraordinary.”
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Even though she barely survived falling from the third floor, Lira’s figure running down the stairs again seemed vividly present in front of me, as if only a few hours had passed.
It seemed like she had jumped around, perhaps pushing people or causing a ruckus from behind. Wasn’t it a bit strange to say she got beaten up one-sidedly with a slightly embarrassed tone?
But after hearing Lira’s response, I realized how unfounded my doubts were.
“…Because you can’t just touch her recklessly. If you run away or hesitate, that’s when hell begins. Even if you just lightly bump into her, she’ll go crazy, and even if you whisper behind her back, she’ll bark like a dog. Only then will you realize you shouldn’t mess with her, thinking she’s a crazy b*tch.”
“…”
Contrary to the Lira who confidently ran towards them, like a dog bravely barking, the current Lira, soaked in rain and wounded, looked like a pitiful puppy.
In that moment, I understood how low my standards were, and I had nowhere to hide my embarrassment.
“…Right. I’m bullied at school. Me.”
And Lira’s subsequent words turned my embarrassment into a piercing sense of guilt.